written by someonestolemyshoes on ao3

~~~

"Kageyamaaa."

That's how it starts – Hinata, drowning in one of Kageyama's hoodies, stretched over the bed with his hands over his eyes and his mouth open in one long, petulant kind of whine – and Kageyama should have known then, really, that something about tonight was going to be different.

"Kageyamaaa," Hinata says, and he rolls round to his stomach, props himself on his elbows and stares with his most scary, serious expression. "I want to have sex."

It's not all that shocking because they have had sex before – multiple times, but Kageyama isn't really keeping count of the exact number – but what is a little surprising, throws him a little off balance, is that Hinata never really asks about it. It just...happens, sometimes, when Hinata stays over or when they're that last two people in the locker room or when they're walking home and the streets are dead enough for them, if they're quiet enough and desperate enough, to get away with it.

Kageyama just blinks for a minute, flits his eyes over Hinata's face and tries to work out why the hell he's looking so serious, so determined.

"What," he says, and Hinata must realise it was intended as a question because he sits all the way up, puffs his cheeks and folds his arms over his chest.

"Sex," he says, "you know, sex, like when we-"

"I know what sex means, idiot." He does know, and he knows that Hinata knows he knows because how could he not, after the last few months, but he can't stop the heat that floods his cheeks because he doesn't want Hinata to think he's more stupid than he actually is.

"So? Can we?"

"What's the catch?" It's Hinata's turn to blaze, cheeks flushing red enough to glow beneath the ceiling light.

Hinata mumbles something, then, too low and hidden in breath for Kageyama to hear it and he stalks a few steps closer, bends down and pinches the tip of Hinata's nose.

"Speak up," he says, tries to ignore the weird fluttery feeling swelling his chest when Hinata crosses his eyes to stare, affronted, at Kageyama's fingers.

"I said," Hinata swats Kageyama's hand away from his face and pushes his hands down between his thighs, "I want to top this time."

"Okay."

Hinata's eyes light up like nothing Kageyama's ever seen and honestly, he's a little curious as to why he's so excited because it won't be the first time he's been on top and Kageyama tells him so, breathes it into the skin below his ear as he mouths at him and then Hinata's pulling away, standing and waving his hands in front of him and Kageyama digs his brows all the way down in a frown.

"I don't mean like that, Bakayama!" Kageyama keeps staring, pulls his brows lower and reaches out, curls his fingers around Hinata's hip and tugs him to stand between his legs. Hinata braces his hands on Kageyama's shoulders and huffs, and Kageyama can see the way he's rolling his tongue in his mouth, trying to find the right words.

"I mean," he says after a while, voice a little soft because Kageyama's spent his thinking time sucking bruises into the skin at his collar, "I mean I want to put it in, this time."

Kageyama peels himself back and skids over the mattress, eyes wide and mouth gaping. It's not that he's never considered it – he has, multiple times, with an empty bed and wandering hands – and it's not that he doesn't want to try it because he does, he does a lot, but now that the idea is open and out there and a very, very real possibility, he isn't so sure he's ready.

"Please," Hinata says, stretches the vowels as he crawls up onto the bed to kneel beside Kageyama. "Please, Kageyama. Just once, I just wanna try it."

He isn't really sure how to derail the situation, to knock the idea out of Hinata's head and he also isn't sure how to say he isn't ready, because it feels like admitting defeat, somehow, and if there's one thing he one hundred per cent won't stand for it's losing to Hinata.

He's taking too long to respond and he knows it, because Hinata is vibrating beside him, bouncing and wiggling and ringing his hands and huffing, impatient, but then he goes still and creeps so close his knees brush Kageyama's thighs.

"Are you scared?"

"No," Kageyama bites back, immediate and irate, and Hinata sniggers behind his hand. Kageyama's almost ready to strip then and there, prove he isn't scared, but his fingers are shaking and his chest is a little tight, a little heavy, and he can feel sweat beading over his brow and Hinata must notice something isn't quite right because he drops his hand, face pulled straight and dead serious, and smooths his palm over the skin of Kageyama's thigh.

"It's okay if you are," he says, and Kageyama shakes his head.

"I'm not." Lies lies lies. "I want to."

"Just because you want to do it doesn't mean it's not scary," Hinata says, and then he scrunches his mouth all the way to one side while he thinks. "Like volleyball! I get super anxious before a game-."

"-I know."

"Oi," Hinata nudges Kageyama's shoulder with his knuckle. "Just because I get scared doesn't mean I don't wanna play."

Kageyama hates that it makes sense, hates it even more because it makes sense and Hinata said it.

"Don't rush me," Kageyama says, bites it out like he's trying to make it Hinata's problem that he's so nervous and for a moment Hinata looks offended, but then his face softens up and he presses a kiss to Kageyama's mouth and lets his palm slide against his thigh, over his hip, grazes his fingers up his side until they settle by his neck. It's all soft and gentle and coaxing, too, and it works to relax some of the tension in Kageyama's muscles.

Before he knows it he's naked, flat on his back with his knees drawn up, feet planted on the mattress and Hinata is nestled between his legs with a bottle of lube in one hand and the other rubbing up Kageyama's length.

He can feel the heat in his cheeks, can imagine just how red he must be and how he must look, eyes half-closed, the back of his wrist pressed over his mouth to keep himself quiet while Hinata works him over.

"It shouldn't hurt," Hinata says. Kageyama chances a look at him but there's something in the way Hinata's eyes are trained somewhere a little behind his balls that has him too embarrassed to watch him for too long.

"Stop staring," he says, and Hinata's eyes snap up to him.

"You do it all the time," he says, and Kageyama knows he isn't wrong so he huffs, drops his eyes closed and focuses on the feel of Hinata's hand wrapped around him.

"It feels weird, though," Hinata continues, and Kageyama nods. He's done it before, a few times, just one finger and a lot of lube but it's somehow very, very different when he's alone and it's his own hand to when it's Hinata.

It's warmer than he'd expected, is the first thing Kageyama thinks, and he doesn't know why it didn't occur to him that Hinata would know to warm the lube up a little first. Hinata just rubs a finger over him, back and forth, smoothing lube over the ring of muscle and Kageyama can feel himself twitching, feel his thighs shaking against Hinata's arms. He grips the bed clothes in one hand, fists at the sheets and rubs his fingers over them.

He's getting used to it, the feel of Hinata just smoothing over him and he's starting to relax, to think that maybe this won't be so bad after all, and then Hinata starts to push in and his whole body clenches hard enough to hurt.

"Relax," Hinata says, voice soft and reassuring and weirdly unlike Hinata. Kageyama can feel eyes on him, looks up to see Hinata watching his face from between his legs.

"It's weird," Kageyama says and Hinata laughs, breezing warm air over Kageyama's legs, and nods.

"Yeah," he says, "it gets better."

"I know." Kageyama doesn't really think before he says it and for a moment Hinata looks confused, and then comprehension dawns on him, and then his cheeks pull tight like he's trying not to frown and Kageyama reaches down to muss his hair.

"I've tried it, couple of times," he says, turns his face into his shoulder to hide his blush and when he looks back down Hinata is grinning, nipping his lip between his teeth, eyes huge and dark and dilated.

"Really?" He asks, and Kageyama nods. He's embarrassed, wants to look away from Hinata's gaze but he's looking at him like he's never seen anything better in his entire life and Kageyama can't bring himself to turn his eyes away.

"Hm."

"How many times?"

Kageyama shrugs, rolls his hips a little against the finger Hinata has managed to wiggle all the way in while they've been talking.

"Two or three, maybe." He can hear how breathy and distant his voice sounds even in his own head, but his eyes are tunnelling in on the way Hinata is palming his own crotch over his boxers and he can't make himself speak any louder.

"I'm gonna move a little," Hinata warms, and then he's pulling his finger out and sliding it back in again and Kageyama fights the urge to arc his back.

"This is weird," Hinata says, smooths his lips over Kageyama's thigh and bites at the flesh where it shakes under him, "part of me is in your body."

"Shut up," Kageyama groans, fists at Hinata's hair when he snickers against his leg, and then the pressure in his ass doubles as Hinata slides a second finger in alongside the first. He runs his hand down Kageyama's thigh, kisses and nips and sucks at the skin until Kageyama relaxes enough for him to move and this, Kageyama thinks, feels better.

"How's that?"

Kageyama huffs out a couple of breaths, lifts one knee closer to his chest and rolls his hips down.

"Good," he gasps, "it's good."

Hinata hums, then, and Kageyama feels him spread his fingers out and twist and curl them and it's much, much better than the times he's done it himself.

"Fuck," he breathes, and Hinata grins, leans his head down to lick a stripe up the underside of Kageyama's cock. "A-ah, do that again."

Hinata does, slicks his tongue from base to tip and bends his neck enough to suck the head into his mouth. He pumps his fingers, crooks and curls them until Kageyama's lifting his hips off the mattress, head pressed back into the pillows with tiny little moans and groans and hums falling out of his open mouth.

"Mm, oh sh-shit, Hinata." His voice is hoarse, rough and croaky and his breath hitches around a moan when Hinata slips a third finger in.

"Fuck me," Kageyama says, then, and he isn't quite sure where the confidence comes from but he knows that he wants it, wants it so much he's shaking and Hinata lifts his head away from his crotch to look him in the eye.

"You ready?" Hinata asks, spreads his fingers until Kageyama's stretching his neck way back, body taut, and Kageyama nods.

"Yeah," he says, "yeah. I want you to."

Hinata pulls his fingers out – he feels weirdly empty, can feel himself twitching and pulsing and he's never been so desperate for anything in his entire life – and crawls over Kageyama's torso to kiss him.

"Now," Kageyama says, grumbles against his lips and he pushes his hand between them, squeezes Hinata through his boxers before pushing the hem down off his hips and over his ass.

"I need a condom," Hinata says, and Kageyama shakes his head, hooks his leg against Hinata's hip and grinds himself up.

"Doesn't matter."

"Okay," Hinata says, slides back between Kageyama's thighs and spreads more of the lube over his dick. Kageyama watches him twist his fist around himself for a while, watches the line of his neck as he lets his head fall back, watches the way his hips jerk and twitch into his own hand and then he reaches out, peels Hinata's hand away from himself and tugs him closer by the hip.

"C'mon," Kageyama says, and he can't even check the impatience in his tone. "C'mon, please Hinata."

Hinata grins up at him, eyes half-lidded, and licks a line over the hair trailing up Kageyama's stomach until he's braced over him.

"It's gonna feel so good," he says, and Kageyama nods, a little mindless in his desperation. "So, so good, Kageyama."

"Mhm," Kageyama hums, voice high and stringy, and then he can feel it, the tip of Hinata's cock pressed right up against him.

"Lift your leg a little," Hinata says, and Kageyama does as told, pulls one knee back to his chest and slides the other a little further across the mattress to spread himself, and Hinata slides a hand between them to line himself up properly before he looks up, meets Kageyama's eyes with the kind of intensity he rarely sees off the court.

"I'm gonna put it in." His voice is a little shaky and for the first time Kageyama thinks that maybe he's nervous, too, but he doesn't have much time to dwell on it because Hinata is sliding his hips forward and the pressure is enough to knock the air out of his lungs.

"Hah," he breathes, strains his neck back against the pillows and for a second Hinata stills, looks up at him a little startled, like he thinks he's done something wrong and Kageyama braces his weight on one foot and pushes his hips closer. "Don't stop."

"Sorry," Hinata says, laughs out a breathy chuckle and slides himself the rest of the way in.

"Oh-god."

"How do you feel?" Hinata asks. Kageyama heaves a couple of breaths and blinks an eye open. He feels...full, incredibly so, and he looks down at the place they're joined and feels heat pool in his everything.

"Good," is what he settles for because he isn't sure what else to say. Hinata lets out another little laugh and follows Kageyama's gaze.

"I'm in you," he says, "how weird is that?"

Kageyama reaches over and palms Hinata's face away, coughs out a laugh and when he does Hinata's eyes glaze, face falls slack and he presses his hips until they're flush against Kageyama's.

"Oh," Hinata breathes, and Kageyama grunts, digs his fingers into Hinata's hip to hold him right where he is. "Whoa, that's insane. Do it again."

"What, laugh?"

Hinata nods, quick and fast, and Kageyama forces another jerky noise from his throat and when he does, Hinata squeezes his eyes closed, drops his forehead to Kageyama's chest and presses himself impossibly closer.

"Hinata," Kageyama says, and Hinata hums, lifts his head to look at him. "Move."

"Right." Hinata's cheeks flush red, embarrassed, like he'd forgotten for a moment what it was he was supposed to do, and then he pulls half way out and slides in again and Kageyama's breath billows out on a moan.

"Fuck," he says, and Hinata nods. "Fuck, go faster."

"Right now?"

"Yeah, right now."

Hinata smiles, all sly and teasing and he cups his lips over one of Kageyama's nipples, sucks the flesh up between his teeth until Kageyama writhes, and pulls his head back to look up at him.

"Where are your manners, Yamayama?"

Kageyama glowers, cards his fingers into Hinata's hair and tugs.

"Hinata." It's meant to sound like a warning, but it comes out a little too desperate and Hinata curls one arm under Kageyama's back, scraps his nails over the skin and tightens his hold around him until they're pressed flush, chest to chest.

"Say please."

He jerks his hips in, hard, and Kageyama cries out, voice hoarse and desperate and he whimpers the word out before he can stop himself.

"Please," he groans, grinds his hips until down against Hinata's. "Please, fuck me faster."

"Hard and fast?" Hinata's never, in his whole life, Kageyama thinks, sounded hotter than he does right now and Kageyama gives a few mindless nods and pulls Hinata's hair a little harder.

"Hard and fast."

It floors him, the first few thrusts and all he can do is breathe out one long, jerky moan while Hinata pumps his hips hard enough and deep enough to shove them a little way up the mattress.

"Shit, Hinata." Being on his back is both the single best and single most frustrating thing because yeah, it's nice, it's so nice to see Hinata over him, to feel his lips and tongue press and suck and slide over his chest and it's nice to be able to run his hands over Hinata's back and sides and to tug at his hair the way he knows he likes it but it's the worst, too, because he can't fuck back anywhere near as much as he wants to.

"Wait," he says, and Hinata stutters to a stop, hips still straining a little like he's struggling to stay still (and he is, probably, and the thought makes Kageyama's chest burn).

"What? You said-."

"I know," Kageyama says, and he nudges and Hinata to sit up a little and when he does, Kageyama rearranges his legs. His face feels too hot and he can't look Hinata in the face and so instead he watches his own body as he lifts one leg up, up, up until his calf is hooked over Hinata's shoulder. It takes a little wriggling to get comfortable and by the time he's ready for Hinata to move again he's got his hips twisted enough to rest on the bed with one foot behind Hinata's head and the other braced on the mattress.

"Okay, go," he says, and his voice sounds breathless even to his own ears.

Hinata doesn't move straight away, and Kageyama is still mustering the strength to look at his face when Hinata's palm slides over his raised leg to wrap around his thigh. Kageyama chances a glance. Hinata's cheeks are flushed red, mouth open and breath panting and he's staring down at Kageyama with dark, hooded eyes and his brows pulled almost like he's in pain.

"What?" Kageyama asks, feeling like he's maybe done something wrong. Hinata shakes his head, almost as though he knew what Kageyama was thinking, and sooths the skin of Kageyama's thigh with his fingers.

"You look...really good," he says, and Kageyama swallows.

"Oh."

"Yeah." Hinata stays quiet for a couple more seconds and then he coughs, clears his throat and jerks his eyes away and rearranges himself on his knees.

"Lift your hips up," he says, and Kageyama does, feels one of Hinata's knees slip a little under his hip to support him and then he's pushing all the way in again, leaning in so close to Kageyama's chest that his body feels like it's folding in half.

"Ah," Hinata sighs, and when Kageyama blinks his eyes open enough to look down at him Hinata's eyes are closed, too, and his elbow is shaking where it's holding him up. His other hand is white-knuckled where it's gripping Kageyama's thigh, nails digging enough to bite into his skin.

"Hard and fast," Kageyama says again, and Hinata nods, and moves.

Kageyama is most definitely not going to last long. His cock is impossible hard, bouncing against his abdomen and every now and then, with the change in angle, Hinata is hitting something mind-blowing inside him, something that makes acid zip up his spine and sets his stomach on fire and the pace. They've had rough, fast sex before and honestly, he thinks, it's no wonder that Hinata likes it so much.

"Hina—oh, oh, fuck." Kageyama wants to tell Hinata that he's close, that he's not going to last if he keeps going like this but he can't get the words out. Hinata cranes his head down, stretches his neck enough to reach Kageyama's collar and he bites, hard, and sucks the skin up between his teeth as he moves. 

"You close?" Hinata asks, voice all tight and strained and muffled against Kageyama's skin and Kageyama nods, jerky, and he can hear the not-so-quiet moans slipping out of his mouth but he couldn't have stopped himself if he'd tried. Hinata looks a little relieved and he nods, too. 

"Do you—ah—do you want me to pull out?"

"Fuck no," Kageyama hisses, rolls his hips in time with Hinata's thrusts, "I want you to—to come in me."

"You sure?"

"Yeah. Please."

Hinata falters a little and groans like it's the best thing he's ever heard and then he's moving, erratic, and Kageyama is drowning in panted breathes and moans and whines and the sound their skin is making and he rolls his hips as best he can, pushes up into Hinata's thrusts until the muscles in his leg are burning and he comes with a full-body jerk, head thrown back and legs tense and he can feel himself tightening impossibly around Hinata.

When Hinata comes it's almost silent, just a tiny moan with his mouth open and eyes squeezed closed and he pulls at Kageyama's thigh, holds him as tight as he can against him and rocks his hips in a few deep, shallow thrusts and Kageyama can feel it, inside him, warm and wet and god Hinata just came in him.

Hinata doesn't stay still long. He pulls himself out, lets Kageyama's leg slip off his shoulder and flops onto the mattress beside Kageyama.

They're both panting, breathless and boneless, when Hinata throws an arm over his eyes and slaps a hand to Kageyama's chest.

"You've never said stuff like that before, Kageyama!" He says, and Kageyama can't decide if he sounds impressed or put-out or, maybe, a little bit of both and his cheeks heat as he scowls.

"Shut up," he says, then wriggles his hips and wrinkles his nose. "Disgusting."

"What?" Hinata asks, and then his eyes flit from Kageyama's face to his hips and back again and he sputters, points an accusatory finger and adds, "You asked me to!"

"I know that!"

They stare at one another, hard and glaring and then Hinata leans forward, smacks his lips to Kageyama's hard enough to knock their teeth and he lingers for just a second before pulling back. It's nice, Kageyama thinks, kissing Hinata and he swings up a hand, curls it around the back of his neck and rakes his fingers up into his hair to pull him back for a little longer.

"It was good," Kageyama says, and his voice is low and a little cracked and god his face is so, so hot. "Really good."

"Like, I-wanna-do-it-again good?" Hinata's face is bright and flushed and alive and it's so much that Kageyama almost can't look him in the face as he nods.

"Mhm," he hums, fidgets with the bed sheets in one hand. "Not right now," he adds, quickly, and Hinata frowns and swats at his shoulder.

"Of course not right now, idiot!" He says, and then his frown pulls in a little more. "Does it hurt?"

"Huh?"

"Does it hurt? Is that why you don't want to do it again right now? Did I hurt you? Are you broken? Should we-."

"What? No!" Kageyama slaps his palm over Hinata's mouth to shut him up. "I mean, it hurts a little, but it's not...bad."

Hinata's brows lift, then, high up to his hairline and there's something in the way his pupils blow wide that makes Kageyama's entire body flush red.

Hinata pushes his head forward, right into Kageyama's personal space and before he knows it his lips are pressed against the back of his own hand and Hinata's eyes have morphed into one shaky blob in the middle of his face and his forehead hurts from where Hinata's smacked into it and their noses are kind of squished together and it's maybe the worst, most horrible kiss Kageyama has ever had, but it makes something warm and fuzzy curl out from his gut and spread through his chest.

Hinata sits back and Kageyama lets his hand drop back to the bed.

"You should clean up," Hinata says, and Kageyama can feel something slimy and unpleasant running between his thighs.

"Hm." He says, but he doesn't move to get up and Hinata shoves at his shoulder.

"Clean up, stupid," Hinata says. "You're gross and we need to change the sheets."

Kageyama flicks Hinata in the forehead and shoves up off the mattress – oh this is the worst nothing has ever felt so weird in all his life – and grabs fresh sheets from the cupboard.

"You do that," He says, and throws the sheets for Hinata to catch. "I'll be back in a minute."

In the bathroom, Kageyama clicks the lock on the door behind him and turns to stare at his reflection in the mirror. He doesn't think he's ever look so dishevelled in his life – eyes still a little glazed, hair sticking in all directions, lips red and a little swollen and there are bruises and bite marks littering his chest.

"That dumbass," he whispers, traces his fingers over the welts and bites back a smile. It's almost disgusting, how much the idea of Hinata leaving marks on him makes his body hot and he turns and flicks the shower on before he can think about it too much.

Hinata is already in bed when Kageyama gets back, puled beneath the fresh sheets with Kageyama's hoodie pooling around his shoulders. He looks sleepy, mouth stretched in a yawn, blinking rapidly and Kageyama's heart does something weird and tight and jumpy in his chest.

"Better?"

Kageyama nods, discards the towel from his waist and pulls on boxers and a t-shirt. He shuffles under the covers, and lies flat, and Hinata sprawls over him, head pillowed on his shoulder.

"'Yama?" Hinata says, turns his face to press a kiss to the skin of Kageyama's neck. Kageyama grunts his acknowledgement and smooths his hand up and down Hinata's spine.

"Next time we do that," he says, twisting to rest his chin on Kageyama's chest and look at his face, "can you go on top?"