Midoriya: I'm the type of person who likes to think things through.

Katsuki: I once saw you eat a marshmallow that was on fire.

※

Masaru, singing: I want to see my little boy!~

Mitsuki also singing and holding a struggling Katsuki: Here he comes!

Katsuki: This family is a fucking nightmare.

※

Katsuki: Are you getting sleep?

Shoto:...Yes.

Katsuki, crossing his arms: Are you lying?

Shoto: Define lying.

Katsuki: I define it as you not telling the truth. How do you define it??

Shoto: Reclining the body in a horizontal position.

※

Dabi: We have your son.

Endeavor: I don't have a son??

(REMINDER! Different universe!)

Dabi: Then who's this kid who just said that he'd join us if we didn't come and kill you?

Endeavor: Oh my god they've got Bakugou!

※

Midoriya, squawking at a bird that just chirped at him: SQUAWK SQUAWK BITCH! YEAH! HOW DO YOU LIKE IT?!

Katsuki, just trying to enjoy nature: What hell Zuku-

※

Aizawa, crying:

Hizashi: What's wrong?

Aizawa: Katsuki is saying common phrases wrong.

Katsuki: Oh cry me a table.

※

Katsuki: So I have this beautiful rock.

Katsuki: Zuku gave it to me.

Midoriya: I threw it at you.

Katsuki: He's very sweet.

※

Shoto: I'm sorry, why'd you think you couldn't be gay?

Katsuki: Well, remember when we all went to the park at twelve and Zuku said I couldn't be gay because it was his thing?

Shoto: And you believed him??

※

Izuku: Hah! Class 1-A doesn't know the meaning of surrender!

Katsuki: But we're willing to learn!

※

Aizawa: What's the hardest thing to say?

Shoto: I was wrong.

Kaminari: I need help.

Midoriya: I'm sorry.

Katsuki: Worcestershire sauce.

※

Katsuki: Do you want to talk about your feelings, Zuku?

Midoriya: No.

Katsuki: Do you want to scream about your feelings while fighting?

Midoriya: HELL YEAH!

※

Shoto: So, what's your plan?

Katsuki: Save everyone and get home safely.

Shoto: Bakugou, that's not a plan, that's a wish list.

※

Hizashi: When I drink alcohol, everyone calls me an alcoholic.

Hizashi: But when I drink Fanta, nobody calls me fantastic.

Katsuki, handing him a Fanta: :)

※

Shoto: If you divide 2020 by 5, you get 404. So basically the entire year is an error message. There is a glitch in the matrix.

Ochaco:

Ochaco: A part of me is worried but honestly, I'm more curious as to where that 5 came from in that equation.

※

Shoto: Life is like Bakugou.

Mina: Awww! Because he's your life?!

Shoto: No, because life is short.

Katsuki, in the back: Ó╭╮Ò

※

Katsuki: We don't want any trouble.

Midoriya: I do.

※

Tenia: Sorry I was late, I was..doing things. -^-

Masaru, running into the room with a knife and out of breath: HE PUSHED ME DOWN THE FUCKING STAIRS!

※

Nemuri: You bought a taco?

Enji: Yes.

Hizashi: From the truck that hit Hawks?

Enji: Well me starving isn't going to help him.

(Enji is actually a GOOD dad in this au, lmao)

※

Hizashi, loosing all patients to train class 1-A: Alright, let's try this one more time. Collapsing building, simultaneous villain attack. What do you do?

Katsuki:

Katsuki: Call the Pro He-

Hizashi: YOU ARE THE PROS!

※

Katsuki: Waffles are just pancakes with abs.

Enji: Sometimes if wonder how your mind works.

※

Katsuki: I have an idea.

Enji: Is it a good idea?

Katsuki: Damn- lower your expectations, they're too high.

Enji: So basically your idea will kill us all.

Katsuki: No! A large chunk, however-

※

Hizashi: If your knees crack when you bend down, you can't go on stealth missions.

Katsuki: What if me back, knees, ankles and toes crack?

Aizawa: Are you ok-?

※

Enji: You ever feel like your life is falling apart around you?

Tenia, in a wheelchair: All the time.

Hizashi: I like to watch as it's demolished and then laugh like a maniac.

Enji:

Tenia:

※

Katsuki: I'm 40.5 Cheetos tall.

Enji: Why did you think you needed to measure yourself in Cheetos?

Katsuki: We were out of Doritos.

※

Katsuki: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaa-

Enji: wHoA! Katsuki, what's wrong?!

Katsuki: oh nothing I'm just *takes a deep breath* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH

Enji: I mean shit me too tbh.

※

Hizashi: Bastard!

Katsuki: Yes?

Hizashi:...why would you respond to that?

Hizashi: You know your insult is an affectionate 'Little Shit'.

Katsuki: Oh, sorry, thought you upgraded.

※

Katsuki: Aizawa, you know those little silica gel packs in stuff? The ones that say not to eat them.

Aizawa, already concerned:...yeah...?

Katsuki: Ok, but, hypothetically, what would happen if you did eat one?

Aizawa:

Enji:

Katsuki: Hypothetically.

Aizawa: Did you-

Katsuki: Yeah I ate one.

Enji, done w/Katsuki's shit: Oh. My. GOD-

※

Sero: What are we having for dinner?

Jirou: Spaghetti and meatballs.

Sero: sWaGhEtTi AnD mEmEbAlLs.

Asui: No food for you.

Sero: That's fair.

※

Katsuki, on the phone: Hypothetically, if I tied ten drones to myself, do you think I could fly?

Shigaraki: You'd probably need more than that.

Dabi, in the background: dumbass.

Shigaraki: Why?

Katsuki:

The League, hearing wind in the background:

Kurogiri: BAKUGOU KATSUKI, I SWEAR TO ALL MIGHT-

※

Kurogiri: How is it that you can run around blowing things up and helping others find their lost pets, but you can't pick up your shoes off the floor?

Katsuki: The executive dysfunction really kicks here.

Kurogiri: You need therapy.

Katsuki: I need a will to live.

Dabi, with a rolled up thing of newspaper: THERAPY!!!

※

Enji: You need to learn to love yourself.

Katsuki: But don't you hate yourself?

Enji: This is about you. Stay focused.

※

Shigaraki: Unpopular opinion but, people who need their crust cut off their sandwiches don't deserve rights.

Katsuki, in the middle of using a cookie cutter to shape his sandwich like a heart: Ok, first off, fuck you.

※

Hello everyone!
Hope you enjoyed- what the hell ever this is. Lmao. Also, I hope that you all like sum KuroDad, Dadzawa, DadJi (what is the name for Enji? Does he have one yet??) And DadMic! 😌 They were there for Katsuki when his family go die die. hAh-.

Thanks for reading!❤

Stay safe! 💕🏳‍🌈