"How have you even memorised the way? It's a maze through here."

"Stop shouting, Chenle."

"Both of you be quiet! It's a damn hospital."

Renjun tries not to regret bringing Chenle and Jaemin with him to visit Mark once the short holidays ended. Mark had requested to see his friends with the wide, puppy-dog eyes that are exact replicas of the emoji he loves, and an adorable pout that makes Renjun and the nurses give in. Jungwoo and Jaehyun came the previous day with an oversized cheetah toy and a portable speaker for some ambiance, and Mark has the cheetah tucked onto his lap, chin resting on its furry head, when Renjun arrives.

Mark's eyes light up and his frown immediately smooths out. "Hi!" When he sees Chenle and Jaemin too, he greets them with enthusiasm and Renjun pouts at the favouritism until he's pulled into a crushing hug that settles his heart.

Jaemin and Chenle fight over the chair and manage to squeeze onto it once the cushion gets abandoned on the floor, and Renjun takes his usual position besides Mark on the bed.

"This is Spot," Mark says, frail fingers stroking the toy's head as though it were a real cat. "Want to hold him?"

"Don't you want him? He's yours," Renjun replies. Mark widens his eyes to plead Renjun, so the elder takes the toy and squeezes it to his chest, before returning it. "There. Now you can hug me when I'm not here." Mark looks confused for a few seconds, then he giggles when he realises what Renjun means and the appearance of pure joy on his tired face warms Renjun's core.

"I made cookies," Chenle interrupts the moment, although it's not unwelcome because he offers the tin around and no one is allowed to decline the offer, the room gradually filling with the enticing aroma of fresh baking and chocolate.

Jaemin pinches his cheek. "What you mean is, I made cookies. And you drowned them in icing and ate most of the chocolate chips." His eyes narrow and his right eyebrow twitches with disapproval that Chenle only bats away, shoving a cookie into Jaemin's mouth to shut him up. Jaemin doesn't complain because they taste good, and everyone is soon looking for seconds.

"Oh my God," Mark exclaims with a mouthful. "This is so much better than hospital food."

"Is the sugar good for you? It won't mess with your heart or anything, will it?" Renjun's skin bristles with concern.

Mark sighs happily and rests his cheek on Renjun's shoulder without ever answering the question, so Renjun's mind can't rest until Jaemin says it's okay.

"I haven't passed first year yet, though," Jaemin adds on at the end of his very detailed explanation that flew right over everyone else's heads, smile sheepish. "I'm hardly a qualified doctor."

Chenle asks Mark what second year of university is like, and Mark rates it at least three times worse than first year which has profanities spilling from Jaemin's mouth and Chenle groaning and dread eating through Renjun's gut. But Mark's eyes shimmer as he talks, and he talks fast. He jumps between three topics at once in his usual rambling manner and Renjun is more than happy to listen, to repeat phrases here and there to acknowledge what his soulmate says and to hold Mark's hand. He's never looked healthier and never shone brighter, even if the IV stuck into his elbow and beeping heart monitor put Renjun off a little.

"What's going on in here?" A nurse comes in and they all quieten, glancing at each other and at the biscuit tin that Chenle shoves under the chair. It rattles, hardly inconspicuous. "You're not supposed to bring snacks, but I'll let it slide. Just be mindful of the other patients, please?" She says, before telling Mark to sit up. He whimpers from the cold stethoscope and clenches his jaw when she adjusts the IV, but then she tells him he's doing wonderfully, and the room is bright when she leaves.

The walls are still off-white and the window is still clamped shut, but their laughter makes up for the lack of inspiration. The conversation shifts to Renjun and Mark circles his arms around his waist at the mention of an art project. "Did you talk to me about that? I figured it must have been you... but I also thought I might have dreamt it."

"I sat by your bed and drew every day, Mark. Yes, I spoke to you about it all, too. It's all I did," Renjun says.

"Can I see?" Mark asks. Jaemin and Chenle pipe up, wanting to see the work too, but Renjun shakes his head.

"Nope." He laughs when Mark headbutts him like a cat wanting food. "It's not finished yet. I want it to be a surprise. Unless you'd rather see it now? I... don't mind." Renjun looks down at Mark, whose head is still pressed against his chest, and jolts with panic that he's going to upset him or that he isn't even going to like the art.

"Hm. I'll be patient." Mark presses a kiss to Renjun's neck before stretching his legs out in front of him and shuffling to lay across his lap.

Renjun only registers the kiss when his skin starts to tingle in the aftermath, warmth spreading across his neck and through his cheeks and down into his chest. He blinks, then the realisation makes him shudder and his brain glitch, cogs whirring back to life as he feels everything at once again, almost like when he first felt a spark from Mark's touch. When he looks down, Mark catches his eye and purses his lips in a poor attempt of hiding a smile. He reaches for Renjun's hand and fiddles with his fingers. The hospital bed is hardly comfortable, but Renjun would happily stay like this all day, all week, even. His legs turn to jelly and his heart races in time with Mark's. He's about to ask Mark what the kiss was for, how he just kissed him, if it was all in his head, until Chenle speaks.

"Why's it beeping so fast?"

Their heads swivel to the heart monitor, and Mark flushes. "I'm good. It's fine," he croaks, words slurred by embarrassment.

"I think someone just has a crush," Jaemin sings.

"I do not." Mark scoffs to defend himself, but then must realise he's curled up with his soulmate and a soft whine leaves his throat when he presses his face into Renjun's shoulder, almost proving Jaemin's point. Renjun accepts the affection, takes pride in holding Mark close and keeping him safe, careful not to squash his glasses.

"That's more than a crush," Chenle says. Jaemin's laughter is nearly a cackle. But they're only teasing and Renjun floats from happiness, his own laughter soon spilling over to fill the room.

Renjun lets the moment embrace him. He forgets how he hasn't spoken to his parents all month. He forgets his worsening grades. He forgets why they're even in the hospital in the first place.

"Mark?" It's Jaemin this time, and Mark sits up to look in his direction. Hair all over the place, he lets Renjun smooth it down while Jaemin talks. "Can I ask about your heart condition?"

Chenle wastes no time in punching his shoulder. "Is it because you're a med student?"

"It's interesting!" Jaemin exclaims, although he tells Mark he doesn't have to say anything if he doesn't want to.

When Mark tells him about it, Renjun observes Jaemin. He knows him well enough to detect the shifting of his gaze underneath the curiosity, and the tapping of his left foot on the floor and the way he shuffles about in the chair to eventually sit on his hands, teeth running over his bottom lip. Jaemin is anxious and unsettled and guilty, and sympathy tugs on Renjun's mind.

"I could have put Donghyuck in a similar position," Jaemin mutters, a quiet admittance of the guilt Renjun can see in his eyes. His tone of voice is not too different from when he admitted that kissing Donghyuck felt right, even if he had sworn it was all wrong. Like shattered glass, fragments of emotions scattered through the words without any order. "If I didn't get my act together... It would have hurt him. And they barely teach us about all that, and I want to learn and study it and help people."

It's not the first time Jaemin has acknowledged that but, squished besides Chenle on a chair that Renjun has been spending far too much time in recently, in a room Renjun swears he's seen more than his own the past week, regret shakes him to the core. He looks at Mark and all his tubes and shakes his head sadly. Renjun doesn't need him to voice the sad thoughts that must be torturing him; he can read his mind well enough to take a sorrowful guess.

Chenle breaks the stiff silence by speaking softly, "I'm proud of all of you."

Three heads swivel in his direction, but he simply shakes his head and bites into another cookie, refusing to elaborate. Renjun doesn't even let it infuriate him, instead sinking into the pillows next to Mark when the last of his pent-up feelings thaw and melt away.

"What's it like to date Renjun?"

Renjun shoots up again and glares at Mark, who his soulmate only laughs out loud and offers a playful pinch to the shoulder and peck to the cheek. He's definitely melting now, love crackling through his skin and into his chest to enshroud his heart. He can't shake it away or move on from it or deny it, especially not when he meets Mark's eyes and just knows he's not supposed to try to do any of those things. He accepts the love, grasps it in the tightest grip and vows to keep it safe, to never let it fade, to never betray it.

Chenle clears his throat and Jaemin snickers, breaking his daze. Mark edges ever so slightly forward only to pause and move back when Jaemin starts talking.

"He's like a storm sometimes." Renjun frowns, not quite sure what Jaemin means. The smile Jaemin gives him makes Renjun shiver with nostalgia. But it feels nice. Comforting, as he can look back at the memories fondly and with his own smile. They've grown up and moved on, both settled with their true soulmates, but still fated to be friends. Renjun still probably couldn't manage a week without him.

"I'm not that moody. Come on, Jaem," Renjun says.

Jaemin ignores him and continues, turning to Mark. "He'll whisk you up with his steely glare and sarcasm. Don't let the angel face deceive you."

"Is that a warning?" Mark mirrors Jaemin's smirk when he looks between Jaemin and Renjun. Renjun sniffs, deciding to just let them talk about him.

"Oh, definitely," Jaemin says. Renjun catches his wink and huffs this time. But inside, he's fuzzy from fondness. "One time, about three years ago now? Yes, three years. He-"

"Don't tell embarrassing stories about me," Renjun interrupts.

Jaemin widens his eyes with faux innocence. "How do you know what I was gonna say?"

"Because I know you," Renjun says. He looks at Mark's amusement and Chenle's curiosity, and leans back into Mark. "But you can say it anyway, I guess."

"Alright," Jaemin says, quite satisfied, eyes glinting. "Three years ago, Renjun asked me out."

That's not what Renjun had expected Jaemin to say, but it's still embarrassing nonetheless, in a strange way.

"Oh, I assumed you asked him out." Chenle says. It's the same shit-eating grin as always, but Renjun is secretly wants to squish his cheeks. He'd never say it, though.

"Nope." Jaemin pops the 'p' with satisfaction. Renjun lets him have his glory.

He can remember the day. He can remember how he felt: anxious, terrified of rejection, although there was also that voice in the back of his head screaming at him not to do it. He slipped the note into Jaemin's biology textbook anyway.

It's his first time hearing the story from Jaemin's point of view, though. It turns out Jaemin was just as anxious, just as apprehensive and scared of them losing each other. They both lived a fantasy, and both were too stubborn to wake up from it.

Renjun interrupts to express his disagreement with a few details that Jaemin tweaks – he certainly did not cry when Jaemin accepted his date proposal – but mostly listens with a smile he does his best to conceal in the warmth and familiarity of Mark's neck.

"But we're here now." Jaemin finishes the story and Chenle claps, Mark joining in with a whistle that makes Renjun's cheeks flare up. "It's not the happy ending we imagined, but it's still happy, right?"

And that Renjun can't disagree with.

𓆩♡𓆪

I had honestly hoped to get this book all posted and finished by the time I went back to uni, but I'm going back tonight and I'm very stressed :c

There's only one more chapter to go, so it should be complete by the end of the weekend...?

How are you all doing this week? Any final thoughts?