as I sat on the sand with my feet submerged in the rippling water I looked at the moon surrounded by thick clouds. I don't know why I'm doing this again.

it hurts so much. "3 days, just three days I won't feel pain anymore, I won't feel it anymore" I looked behind me where my friends were together and one of them was the one I wanted.

jiu... stop... she doesn't like you.

what if she likes me? she just doesn't know how to show off? but no, I don't feel that.

i spent more hours sitting here, looking at the moon and the strong waves of the sea while talking to myself in my mind—arguing with my mind as it were.

I didn't know that I fell asleep with my knees bent, I only found out when I felt someone lying on my shoulder. she immediately removed her head when she felt that I had woken up, when I looked at her she suddenly smiled, I felt my heart stop for a few seconds. please, don't do this.

"siyeon..." I said in tears, she moved in front of me and touched my cheek, she smiled again "it will be over, all the pain will be over" tears fell on my cheeks and she immediately wiped them away "as like to you? " she nodded. My tears keep falling, I can't stop it anymore "we're going to be together" I saw her tears come out of her eyes which made me cry.

"I told you to confess, didn't I?" i nodded "why didn't you do it? you like her right?" i looked at her toes "I just can't accept that after you die I will like your friend" she lift my head to looked at her "jiu, love, I already told it to you—" , "my heart only wants you I love you, siyeon" , "but bora loves you too, jiu..." , "no, she didn't—" I stopped when I heard someone speak, siyeon and I turned to our right side and I was surprised.

"siyeon is right, jiu" bora said standing not far from us, siyeon and I stood up and she came to us, siyeon held my hands and nodded to me before she disappeared.

"y-you can see siyeon?" she nodded and hugged me immediately... so tight. "jiu... please... don't leave me—us" she sobbed at my chest, I can't help not to cry too. even I don't want to leave them, but it seems the universe saw me suffering already and gave an illness that I will get tired fighting with it.

after siyeon car accident, my doctor saw a tumor in my heart after that we tried to go for operation but my doctor said i only have 20% chance to survive on that operation due to my other illnesses. its hard.

for a year, i liked bora, siyeon's best friend, siyeon is my girlfriend for more than 4 years. I can't accept it, I don't want it, I don't want to love someone else, but my mind doesn't agree with my heart.

she lifted her face on my chest facing my face "jiu... how many days?" I slowly removed our hug and held her hand "3 days, 3 days left" after i said that she hugged me again, i held her head and rub her back while she's sobbing on my chest and mumbling something i couldn't understand.

"I should only love siyeon, but I don't know what you did to me and you keep on my mind", "I want to confess to you, I really want to, but—"

"but you're afraid that I might get over to siyeon? That your love for me will dominate? It's okay jiu" she smiled bitterly "after her accident, she appeared in my dream, she said to take care of you because she knew I wanted you before" im surprised "You heard is right, it's been 2 years since I found out that I like you, but I'm denying it to myself because you're girlfriend of my best friend, she knows that because I confessed to her right away, I don't want to ruin our friendship"

"im just admiring you from a far. you know when siyeon told me that you like me? i got excited but as how you act—i felt hurt, because i don't want to force myself with someone else who still loves her past, ï'm happy with what do we have" my tears kept falling and I didn't know what to say to her.

"can i k-kiss you?" I was surprised but i agreed. we're slowly occupying the gap between our faces, we closed our eyes when our lips met, i tasted a salty tears. i held her nape pulled her more in my lips. it didn't last long, our foreheads stick as we chase our breath. that kiss is full of sadness and pure love

"i love you jiu"

and that is the story of the last period of my life. it's hard for the to leave, but I have to accept it because it's my fate.

"are you okay jiu?" i looked at siyeon who's holding my hand and looking at our friends at my funeral, im so sorry.

im staring at bora who's sitting infront of my coffin, "i promise you this... that ill always look out for you" siyeon hugged me and smiled at me "we'll look out them, always" and squeezed my hand she's holding.

-

its been toooooo long since i updated this, right? and by the way the 'can you just stay here' au of mine, i unpublished it and will be published again sooner after i finished the 6th chapters since i planned that it will be just 10 chapters