A One, Two, Three, Four?

A/N: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO IM FUCKING ALIVE BITCHES!!!!!!!!!!!! YK THE URGE TO DIE IS GETTING STRONGER WHICH MEANS THE ANGST FICS ARE GETTING LONGER SO HERE! CONGRATULATIONS, CHAPTER 38 IS UPON YE

IM SORRY FOR THE DELAY BUT I ALWAYS SAY THAT LMAO, ANYWAYS YUP YUP HAPPY READINGS WE'RE GETTING TO THE GOOD PART

if you're wondering, this fic still has a lot left to it. they have to save rui and then save tsukasa and then figure out their whole... love decahedron or whatever is going on. so. whoops



The doors to the rooftop swung open once more in this story. After all, it seemed that this was the place where it all begun, developed and ended.


Any one of the characters you're reading about right now could choose to throw themselves off of the roof and change the course of this, for seemingly no reason. And yet, you'd eat it up anyway.


'What a wonderful plot twist!' You'd say, formulating up some reason in your mind as to why that would have happened. Even if the character had nothing leading up to them doing so. Perhaps, it was the pressure of everyone else? Or their own thoughts, amplified by the situation?


All of them are plagued with ideas of wanting to disappear. It is the reason why so many of us relate to them. They all deal with these ideas in different ways. On one end, you could put Emu, and on the other, you could put Mafuyu. Ultimately, where each character falls on this hypothetical line is up to them and how they choose to treat their grievances.


Unfortunately, it is this illusion of choice that keeps our cast going. They're being mature and choosing to save themselves instead of ending it all like they want to. All of them.


It's not going to be long before someone slips up.


"Kusanagi-chan?" Mizuki called, shutting the heavy door behind her to avoid any interruptions. The green haired girl, tapping away angrily at her phone, looked up and called them over with a wave. Mizuki obliged.


"You're here."


"I am. I have... something to say."


Nene seemed surprised, for a second, but then she nodded, "I do too."


"Well, you wouldn't have called me here if you didn't," They chuckled. A night's rest between their call with Akito and the present had helped them clear their head and get back on track. That's why, they immediately agreed when Nene asked if they could come meet her before school started.


They stood there awkwardly, simply just looking at each other, unsure of who should start the conversation. Discussing the life of their most common friend wouldn't be exactly easy, especially considering they were practically on a time limit. Who knew how long they had until either Rui or Tsukasa truly went away for good?


"I wanted to—"


"I have to tell—"


They both went quiet again when they realized they had spoken at the same time. And then, Nene coughed, indicating she would participate first. Mizuki nodded.


"Well. As I was trying to say, I know where Rui is. And I know how we can get there." Mizuki blinked, a little shocked. They hadn't expected Nene to actually find him— or, differently, they hadn't expected Rui to let himself be found. Sure, Mizuki had a vague idea of his whereabout, but Nene seemed to have discovered something more.


"Then... wait, why haven't you gone there? There's no time to lose." Mizuki was confused, to say the least. If Nene knew where he was and how to get there, why hadn't she gone to save him yet?


"Well..." Nene's head fell to the side, twiddling her thumbs in front of her and looking down at the floor.


"I don't... usually admit things like this, but... i don't think I'm good enough." Nene shook her head. Before Mizuki could answer, though, she added, "And not in like a, self-deprecating way or anything, at least, not in this context, it's just that..."


"Well, you saw him in Middle School. Before you, I was his only real friend, and I... wasn't able to help him. If it weren't for you, Mizuki, surely Rui would have been dead ages ago. Before he was able to find his place in Tsukasa's troupe..."


"And, I really, really don't want Rui to die before he's able to find his place in the rest of the world."


"The rest of the world?" Mizuki asked. Since she was being prompted to continue, Nene did.


She looked back up at them, this time. "Rui's destined for great things. He's a full-blown inventor and a mechanic at barely seventeen— and he's smarter than anyone else I know, despite his horrible grades. I can't imagine what a nightmare Nene-Robo's AI was to code, and Rui had the basic self-learning and interpreting system up and running in like less than twenty-four hours after he got the idea."


"I guess what I'm saying is... I don't want Rui's genius to disappear with him. Even if he's a little odd, it's his personality that brings all his work and research together. Right now, he's just a bit of a niche celebrity to Phoenix Wonderland fans— not even the most popular in the whole park, despite his feats, as the Wonder Stage is still one of the smallest ones..."


"He rejected an offer to work in one of the most popular parks in Tokyo because he valued his relationship with us— mainly Tsukasa— over his own success and the fulfilment of his dream. I can't possibly express to you how surreal that is," Nene took a deep breath before continuing her ramble. "Rui has been dreaming of putting on a giant show since he was like, five. And he rejected that opportunity because he would miss us, a singer littered with social-anxiety, a neurodivergent hyper mega-happy rich little girl, and a loud guy littered with insecurity who claims to be a famous "star" of theatre in the future."


"Rui is stupid, and I say that as his oldest friend that's not his platypus plushies. And when he was clearly going through severe depression... I failed him. As a friend. As family. As someone he could rely on. And I don't think I could bear the pain of seeing him disappear because I wasn't good enough."


"So please, Mizuki, I'll leave it in your hands... save him. Bring him back." Nene finished. She clenched her fist and brought it up to her chest. "The thing I want to do the least is fail, and that's what I did. You, on the other hand..."


"I..." Mizuki was, for what felt like the fifth time this week, utterly speechless. They hadn't... expected Nene to feel so strongly about the current situation, though, they'd witnessed it themselves; but now that they got Nene's whole explanation... not only did things about her make more sense, too, but also, things about Rui.


They dared to wonder what would have happened if them and Rui had not met. Would they have joined the mass of teen suicide counts? Or would they have a found a way to live on, somehow? They'd be different, definitely, but Mizuki's not quite sure in what way that would be. Rui had defined their identity, how they expressed it, and just generally a lot of their childhood. Rui had been their influence— for a while, and at the most vulnerable time of their life. If Rui had killed himself...


Mizuki debated whether the way they were attached to Rui in Middle School was healthy, or if how much influence he had over them changed the way they fundamentally saw themselves, but they refused, at the very least, to be mad at him. Any of their problems, even if Rui had somehow help amplify or worsen them, which they doubt, were neither of their faults. They were two, abandoned by the world. And humans are social creatures, who rely on others they can find comfort in. Even if they ended up hurting each other more in turn— a subconscious desire to fit in, to have somewhere to call home.


Mizuki loved Rui. Rui loved Mizuki. It had been nice, for a while.


"I..." Mizuki spoke, finally. "...wanted to apologize for how I acted."


The suspense grew. Nene tilted her head, confused. "...huh?"


"Well— it shouldn't have taken me getting yelled at by Akito— Shinonome-kun, you know him, right?— to realize that I should be worried." They elaborated, taking a step towards her and placing a hand on her shoulder. She seemed like she was going to flinch backwards, and Mizuki was prepared to immediately back off if Nene showed signs of discomfort, but she didn't, so Mizuki went on. "I... don't know if there's a proper word for what I feel towards him, you know? But I guess that I sort of... idolized Rui in my head."


"I care about Rui. More than almost anything. Rui was my first everything, pretty much. He opened the world for me... and I, like you, failed to be there for him when he needed it." They sighed. "I doubt he blames either of us. But, still, even if he thinks otherwise, Rui also can't do everything alone."


Mizuki swallowed, trying to get the words out before the lump they felt in their throat grew and they couldn't anymore. This was something they couldn't put off anymore. "I'll do it. Rui— he's always been in solitude, even if there's people around him. He's excellent at masking. And we have to change that. Rui deserves solidarity. He deserves love. He deserves family, care, and everything that comes with, even if he denies it. So I'll... do it. I'll— I'll try to bring him back."


Nene opened her mouth to respond, but was cut off by Mizuki. Their words were now shaky and weak.


They had always been overly emotional. Not proper in boys, and seen as annoying in girls. There was apparently a requirement they were supposed to meet.


Perhaps, this was why Mizuki chose neither. Society's views of what was right and wrong based on gender chained them down into a box they didn't want to be in. Even now, they couldn't escape the judgement that came with having broken out of that enclosure and gone free. Wild, they said.


Rui had freed them from their shackles, and they had forgotten about his. Rui was bound down by his own problems, too. And if Nene was handing her the key...


"Let's save a demon." Mizuki smiled. "Or, more accurately, a fallen angel."


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