Note: hey babes

i have the satanic leader of all the stomach bugs to ever exist rn, so it's a good thing i already had this one ready

not sure how i'm managing this but it seems i'm back on schedule for the time being <3

thank you so much for the encouraging comments and votes. you guys are truly the sweetest and i love you all

anna is sixteen here

Stand Up

It was one of those days. Anna woke up, and she intended to get out of bed. But she wasn't entirely convinced she existed. She wasn't sure how to go about moving, and she was too tired to try. But most of all... Most of all, she didn't care. She couldn't care. She was too tired.

Like usual, there was a gentle knock on her bedroom door around 7am. The door opened a smidge, and Dean poked his head in. "Up and at 'em, Rugrat. There's coffee ready— Scout's honor."

Anna didn't reply, hoping he'd duck back out and leave her be. Of course, her fortune was lacking.

"Come on, gimme a grumble at least," Dean goaded, a smile in his voice. When she stayed quiet, staring blankly at the wall, he came further into the room. "Hey, you awake?" He asked.

Scrunching her eyes shut, Anna thought of what she could say. She sure as hell wasn't going to school today, but it wasn't as if the boys would let her rot in here without explanation. Her mouth was dry and catatonic.

Dean's hand was gentle on her shoulder, and he gave her a small shake. "Hey."

Anna opened her eyes and felt her brother's gaze on her.

"Get up," he requested. "It's time for school."

She didn't know what to say, and she didn't have the drive to lift her head. So, Anna let her eyes do the talking. They flicked up toward Dean's and clung to the first branch they could find.

Dean instantly caught their sadness, tugging gently on that branch. "You okay?" He asked, voice impossibly gentle. He crouched right down, his face a foot from hers. His hand was warm against the side of her head as he tucked her hair behind her ear. "You sick?"

It was time to suck it up, and Anna knew that. She had days like this sometimes, but she always convinced herself to throw the blankets off. It didn't matter how unwilling her body was, how drained her mind was, or how deep her sadness ran. There was a real world out there, and it wasn't one for waiting.

"Anna, talk to me," Dean insisted quietly. His voice was so low it seemed to rumble.

But it was too much for Anna somehow. She wanted to roll over, to duck her head under the covers and hide indefinitely. But she couldn't muster the strength for it. Her lips parted, and she made a tiny sound. "Can't," was what she'd wanted to say. But she wasn't sure Dean understood.

"What's goin' on?" He repeated, "You sick?"

Anna's chin started to shake without warning. Her eyes began to fill with hot tears. "No," she whispered, but it sounded more like a word this time.

"It's okay," Dean encouraged. Somehow his tone was getting softer by the minute. "You don't have to say anything. You can nod, though, huh?"

Anna didn't think she could, and her eyes fell shut, forcing tears to hit her mattress.

"Blink, then," her brother said. "Once for yes, twice for no. Alright?"

She blinked once.

"There's my girl," Dean said sweetly, smoothing her hair back off her face again. He thumbed at the tears puddling at the corner of her eye and sighed. "It's the depression thing, huh?"

She didn't know if he even needed her confirmation, but Anna blinked once.

Dean nodded, his fingers still gentle and steady against her head. "I'm sorry, Sweetheart, but you aren't staying in bed all day," he informed her.

Anna blinked twice, more tears welling up.

"I know. No school, okay? But come out to the kitchen. Have some coffee, kiddo. We'll watch a movie or something."

She wanted to hide, but she trusted her older brother. He'd gotten her this far, after all, and she hadn't made it easy on him. Anna blinked once instead.

"Atta girl," Dean smiled broadly at her. "Come on, you gotta stand up."

Anna blinked twice. When Dean threw the blankets off, she made an irritated sound. "No," she complained in a whisper. She didn't move.

"Step by step," Dean reminded her. Ramone had taught him this, and Anna fucking hated that therapist for it. She just wanted to be left to rot. Was that so much to ask? "Gimme your hand," he instructed and reached out.

Anna shook her head, which was more movement than she'd thought herself capable of just a minute ago. She was cold now, only thin pajama pants and a t-shirt to keep her warm. "Go away," she spoke again. Her voice was weak, and it made her hate herself.

"No can do. Come on, Anna, you can do it."

"No, I can't," she snapped and closed her eyes. Or maybe she could, because her voice was coming back suddenly. Her body felt heavy with a deep blue sadness, but there was anger creeping in. And anger wasn't the kind of feeling that let a person lay still. "I don't want to, Dean. Leave me alone."

Dean let out a tired breath and sat on the edge of her mattress. "Anna, I swear," he started emphatically, "that you are gonna smile before this day is up. You hear me? This ain't the end of it. You're gonna feel better, alright? But you have to stand up."

It was still the very last thing she wanted to do. But this time the tears in her eyes were 5% hope.

She weakly raised an arm, and Dean took her hand with a proud smile. "There's my strong girl," he praised, voice gruff to make up for the softness of his words.

She felt like a baby, the way he was addressing her, but it helped somehow too. She felt anything but strong, and Dean sounded so sure of himself when he told her the opposite.

"Alright, sit up," he commanded. "Come on."

Anna felt another surge of annoyance at the order. She'd given him her damn arm. Wasn't that enough? But Dean gave her hand a gentle tug, and she relented. It was a struggle, but she sat up with his help.

Her arms did feel more under her control now. Anna let her heavy head fall forward into her palms. "I'm tired, Dean. Can't I just sleep?"

"You get out to the kitchen, then I'll let you be, alright?"

It sounded daunting. But the promise of rest at the end of the road... well, it was more than she usually got before a fight. She sighed and watched Dean stand up. He made it look so damn easy. She took his hand again, and he pulled her to her feet. The floor was cold, but it was a different kind of cold than the one in the rest of her body.

She looked slowly up at her brother, exhausted beyond words. He was wearing an affectionate smile. "You did it," he told her simply.

Anna nodded. It was pathetic how much of an accomplishment standing was to her. "I'm such a loser," she murmured, eyes filling again. She sniffled.

"You're my favorite little loser," Dean said cleverly. He put an arm behind her shoulders and swept her legs out from under her.

She knew she should protest. But Anna was grateful not to be on her feet anymore. She let her head rest against Dean's shoulder. "You're supposed to say I'm not a loser."

Dean's response was to give her a kiss on the temple. "Would if I could," he said. But he couldn't keep a straight face when Anna scoffed in disbelief.

La Fin