Note: Hey, loves <3 My insomniac ass has been up for hours, and I'm so tired I can't even open my eyes all the way but it's Saturday which means it's update day! I missed this.

Thank you for all the comments and votes and whatnot. I appreciate you all so so so much 💜

To be honest, I couldn't tell you where this one came from. The idea just kept nagging me until I had it written out. But I wanted to explore Anna and Claire's relationship a little more, and so here you go. A nice long chapter with an actual monster in it :) Maybe this is a Supernatural fic after all

The title is a line from the song "Shadowboxing" by Julien Baker.

Anna is seventeen.

It Just Looks like I'm Fighting with Me

"This is so unfair."

"Yeah, I know."

"No, really," Claire said, pacing back and forth in front of the couch. "This is stupid. I'm the one who found the case. It's my hunt. And now I'm getting benched?"

Anna was sitting with her legs criss-crossed in front of her on Jody's couch, and she leaned forward to rest her elbows on her knees, her chin in her hands. "You get used to it," she said bitterly. "I pretty much never get to do anything real, doesn't matter if I found the case or not. It's the chain of command."

"Screw that," Claire spat. She whirled around, hands on her hips. Her eyeliner was smudged and dark, and Anna could tell she hadn't redone it since at least the previous morning. They'd all been awake just about all night trying to figure out who the wraith in town was. "There is no chain of command. They're just treating us like kids."

"Again," Anna said tiredly. "You get used to it."

"Anna, don't you get it?" Claire said emphatically. She dropped down to sit beside Anna on the couch. "Jody and Sam and Dean... It's not just that they think we're too young right now. They don't want us to be hunters. Period. They're trying to choose our lives for us."

The thought had crossed her mind a number of times. But she always shoved it away. There was a difference between trying to control somebody and trying to protect them. Even if the boys didn't want Anna hunting, she was able to trust that their reasons were more benign than what Claire was suggesting. In fact, she didn't like the insinuation that her family was power-hungry.

"They are not, Claire. They're just trying to protect us."

"I don't understand why the hell you're so okay with that excuse," Claire said, shaking her head. She stood up from the couch and went right back to pacing restlessly back and forth. "I'm nineteen. I'm not a kid, and Jody's not my mother. I'm a hunter. I deserve to be out there with them."

Anna sighed again. She wished she could be out there too. Or, hell, she almost wished they would have taken Claire and left Anna alone at Jody's. But alas, here she was, stuck arguing with her really angry sort-of-friend. "Claire, they're gone. We might as well find something to do."

"No," Claire said, determination creeping into her voice.

The sound made Anna wary. She knew where this was going, and she wasn't looking forward to it. "Please don't tell me you're thinking what I think you're thinking."

"It's my case," Claire said. "I'm gonna work it."

"Claire, come on," Anna pleaded. "I don't want to get lectured today. Or murdered," she added as an afterthought.

Claire was already halfway out of the room, so Anna reluctantly dragged herself to her feet and followed. "Nobody's asking you to come with me," Claire said from the next room.

Anna stepped through the doorway to see her tucking a gun into the back of her jeans. "I can't let you go without backup."

"What're you gonna do then? Tell on me?"

"I'm not a snitch."

"I didn't think so. So, you comin' or not, Rapunzel?"

Gritting her teeth and crossing her arms over her chest, Anna let out an angry huff. "Fine. But if you call me that one more time, I'm forgetting the wraith and stabbing you in your face."

()()()

They'd been on the road for twenty minutes when Anna started to itch. "Claire, this is insane. You know that, right?"

"Maybe you aren't used to going solo, but I've done this before. Just trust me. I've got your back."

"That's not what I'm worried about," Anna muttered.

She glanced sideways at Claire then out the windshield. Claire was driving fast, but Anna didn't know whether that was because she felt that this hunt was urgent or because she just drove like this all the time. Regardless, it served as one more reminder that Claire could be incredibly impulsive and reckless, especially when she was angry. And she was always angry.

Anna was supposed to be the level-headed one right now. And she'd royally fucked that up. Dean was gonna kill her. Even Sam was gonna kill her. Hell, Jody might kill her.

"We should go back."

Claire's face hardened in anger, and she slammed suddenly on the brakes. Anna had to plant both her hands on the dashboard to keep from flying out the windshield. She was definitely gonna start wearing a seatbelt. "If you want out, get out," Claire said simply. "But I'm not going back. People are dying, and this is my hunt, I'm responsible for them."

"Claire..." Anna trailed off, frustrated beyond belief.

She was so tired. She always was. She was irritated and bubbling with nerves, but all of that was being evened out by a generous dose of indifference. There was a part of her that didn't care one way or another, that insisted nothing really mattered.

According to her therapist, though, that was not the part of herself that she should be listening to. It wasn't her at all, apparently. It was her mental illness talking. So she tried to remember what she would have done three years ago, when she was a scared kid but also a hopeful one.

"I feel like, maybe, there were better ways to handle this situation."

"Like what?" Claire challenged, turning in her seat to fully face Anna. "Surrender to the will of the Winchester brothers? Anna, if I listened to Jody every time she told me to stay home where it's safe, I would never save anybody."

Anna bit the inside of her cheek and held Claire's eyes for a second. She knew the feeling. Truly, she did. But the difference was that she actually didn't feel drawn to hunting the way that Claire did. She didn't see it so much as a calling as a right of passage.

She was a Winchester. She was a hunter. The two things went hand-in-hand.

There was no other path she felt compelled to take, and she knew for a fact that escaping this life once you'd dipped your toes in was damn near impossible. No matter how young or old you were.

"I didn't mean it like that," she said. "I know it's suffocating. I get that. But this feels like a recipe for disaster." She scrubbed her hand down her face and slammed back against her seat. She didn't have the energy for this. "Not to mention a grounding," she grouched under her breath.

"Like I said, you're free to go."

Anna tossed her head back in frustration. "Claire, why can't you just talk to Jody?"

"Have you talked to Sam and Dean?"

"I talk to them every day," Anna snarked. "Close quarters."

Claire made a face. "Funny," she deadpanned. "I mean about hunting."

"I don't have to," Anna said. "It's kind of a running debate. But we all know I'm gonna be a hunter. I just... I'm supposed to take it slow, at least until I graduate high school."

"Well, I'm out of school," Claire pointed out. "And I still got left behind with you today."

"Jesus, Claire, you say it like I sit at the kids' table."

"Don't you?"

If there was one feeling Anna could still muster up in spades these days, it was anger. It still didn't burn like it used to, but it could rear its head at least. She crossed her arms over her chest and sat forward in her seat, her shoulders and jaw tense. She could feel the pocket of anger in her stomach, but it didn't crawl up into her face and turn her cheeks red. It didn't make her blood hot or her eyes narrow. It just made her feel especially stoic. She wasn't dealing with this shit today.

"You're a bitch," she said decidedly, and she watched the words land.

"Get out of my car," Claire snapped.

Anna jerked back in surprise. "Are you serious?"

"I've got a wraith to kill. And you're obviously not on my team."

"Your team? Seriously? What is this, dodgeball?"

"Get out of my car."

"You can't be serious," Anna pressed. She looked into Claire's eyes and was a little worried when she saw that Claire might actually be serious. "Claire, we're in the middle of nowhere. I don't live around here. I don't know my way back."

"You have a phone. And plenty of time."

"Yeah, you know what? I only came with you to begin with because I didn't want you to do something stupid and get yourself killed. But I guess you're bound and determined to do it anyway," Anna ranted. She shoved her door open, stepped out onto the side of the road, and turned to look at Claire with rage in her eyes. "I reiterate: You're a bitch."

"Have a nice walk," Claire taunted and drove off.

A small part of Anna hadn't truly believed Claire would leave her behind... until the car was out of sight. "Shit," she murmured. "Well, now what?" She pulled her phone out of her pocket, held it up. But there was no service. "Shit," she grumbled again. "Come on."

She started pacing the way they'd come, hoping to find at least one bar. If she could load a map just once, she could take a screen shot and at least know which way to go, though it would still be a long walk.

"Fuck you, Claire," she sang into the empty country around her. "Fuck you, fuck your car, and fuck your hero complex." She added a little dance as she moved down the road, her phone still without service. "Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, Claire," she sang. "I hope you get caught trying to go after the wraith and Dean yells at you so hard." She spun in circles, feigning lightheartedness for no audience.

Truthfully, she was so pissed and freaking exhausted that she wanted nothing more than to lay down on the roadside and disappear. She wished she'd never left Jody's, never followed Claire, never even agreed to come to Sioux Falls to begin with. She wanted to go home, curl up in bed, and listen to rock music.

But she couldn't magically teleport home. She couldn't disappear. There was really only one thing she could do. She had to find her way back to Jody's.

The thought of music brightened her spirits just a little, though. Her music app would work even without service, so she booted it up and pressed play on one of the few playlists she had downloaded. Bright but not cheery music erupted from the small speaker on the bottom of her phone.

I'm runnin' low on serotonin

Chemical imbalance got me twisting things

Anna sighed, stuffed her phone into her back pocket, and closed her eyes for a second. She took a deep, slow breath and centered her focus. The music spilled into her, and she let it hype her up.

Stabilize with medicine

There's no depth to these feelings

She released her breath on a long exhale, and then she started to move. She spent a good ten minutes jogging before she stopped again to check her phone for service. She had one bar, and she could have cried in relief. But when Anna dropped to sit in the grass on the roadside and open up a map on her phone, nothing would load. One bar wasn't going to be enough to see her way back.

"Fuck me," she grouched. As she tried to close the unusable maps app, she accidentally closed her music as well, and for some reason it pissed off her so much more. "Fuck me," she snapped again.

Anna tossed her phone in the dirt ahead of her. Not a single car had passed her by, or she might have actually resorted to hitching a ride with a stranger by now. It hadn't been that long, honestly, but it was hot outside, and she was tired– not physically so much as mentally.

"Fuck you, Claire," she sang again, but this time her song ended there. She crawled on her hands and knees a few feet to where she'd thrown her phone. She would just have to jog a little farther and hope to get another bar.

Anna stuffed her phone back in her pocket and continued down the road.

Her legs were weak by the time she found service, and she actually found herself wishing she could just call Dean instead of walking the rest of the way back to Jody's. But the boys and Jody weren't just working a case; they were working the dangerous part. The slightest distraction could get someone hurt or killed, and Anna wouldn't be responsible for that.

As it was, she had a feeling they weren't going to be too pleased when Claire showed up uninvited.

Standing at the roadside with her maps app loading painfully slowly, Anna paused and looked up at the sky. It had been nearing sundown when she and Claire had taken off. Now it was beginning to get dark, but visibility was still pretty good. She could probably get back to Jody's without having to turn on her phone's flashlight.

But now she had to ask herself whether she had more of a responsibility to warn the boys that Claire was on her way– if it wasn't too late already– or to give them the space and focus they needed to be able to work the case.

Anna quickly decided that staying clear of the whole shebang until everybody was home to argue about it was her best bet at not making things worse. The map finally finished loading, and Anna threw her head back with a groan. About a mile back she'd taken a wrong turn when she'd come to a sign that had faded beyond legibility. Stupid back roads.

Maybe she wouldn't be getting back to Jody's before dark after all. She couldn't exactly run the whole way back, so she had to account for at least ten minutes for every mile, which meant this tacked at least twenty minutes onto her travel time. Not to mention she wasn't as close to the house as she'd thought to begin with. She had another eight miles to go after that.

Anna sat down hard in the dry grass beneath her. There was no rush now. It would be dark inside of an hour, and she was probably not going to be home for nearly two.

"Fuck you, Claire," she said dully.

She didn't think it was so much to ask to just be able to take a frickin' nap. Yet here she was, getting bitten in the backside by her own half-assed altruism. She thought again about calling Dean, then thought briefly about calling Claire.

But just the thought of Claire made her angry, and she stood up instead. She had to get back so she could watch with satisfaction as Jody and her brothers ripped Claire's head off.

()()()

It was pitch dark as Anna climbed tiredly up the porch steps at Jody's. There was still a light on inside, illuminating the living room window. They'd probably left it on when they left earlier. Claire had been in an awful hurry, and Anna had been a bit distracted herself.

She shoved the door open and stepped inside the front entrance. She couldn't wait to get to the couch and sit down. She was going to sleep for a month.

Well, technically, she was going to sleep for about three or four hours max, because then everyone would get back and lose their shit at each other. Anna had a few choice words she would need to get in herself. Or maybe she would skip the words altogether and just punch Claire in her stubborn face. She'd tried getting through to her the nice way. Or the nonviolent way, at least.

The house was slightly warmer than outside, and as she entered the living room, Anna slid her flannel off, tossing it onto the back of the nearest armchair. She was sweating already from her long, long walk in such sticky summer heat.

"Hello, beautiful creature," she breathed and started moving faster toward the couch. "I missed you dearly." She realized then how much she sounded like Dean, and she made a mental note to check herself. She collapsed with great relief into the soft cushions and reclined with her arms behind her head. It felt so damn good.

"Happy to hear it," a low but feminine voice drawled from behind her.

Anna jumped nearly out of her skin, launching herself off the couch and spinning around in a second flat. Her hands moved by instinct to the back of her jeans, but her gun was in Claire's car, along with its silver bullets and knife.

Empty handed, she faced the creature in its human form. It was tall, its face narrow and eyes sharp. It looked pleased with itself and yet angry over something too. All in all, it was a bad combination to see in the eyes of your enemy: confidence and rage.

"You're the wraith," she said slowly, trying to keep a measure of calm in her voice.

Granted, to some extent, she did feel that calm. After all, Anna had been in sticky situations before, and she'd always escaped them, however narrowly. On the other hand, though, she was unarmed, alone, thirsty, and exhausted with no clue as to when help might arrive.

"Oh, very good," the wraith commended. "And I was just about to ask how a little girl got so caught up with a band of hunters as to live right under their roof."

Anna had to be careful not to smirk at that comment. She could play to that. She could act naive long enough to get her hands on something made of silver. "You weren't supposed to come here," she swallowed, playing up the fear that she previously had been purposely keeping at bay. "They said I'd be safe here."

"Did they?" The thing smiled, slow and wide, showing its teeth. "Well, that was their first mistake, I suppose."

It began to walk towards her.

Anna backed away in a haze of panic, bumping purposefully into the coffee table and scrambling her hands against its surface. There was nothing there but the TV remote and a handful of magazines. But she would take what she could get.

"Fuck," she grumbled. But she gripped the TV remote and threw it hard at the thing's forehead. It was closely followed by the magazines, their pages flapping loudly.

Anna wasted no time in darting past the thing into Jody's kitchen. She felt something graze the back of her ankle half a second before she hit the floor. She blinked, dazed. There was wood not an inch from her eyes. Her forehead throbbed in time with her heartbeat, and there were warm lips close to her ear.

"Pity for you," the wraith crooned. Its fingers were cold against Anna's scalp as it brushed her curls behind her ear. "You'd be such a good fighter if you weren't so crazy."

"I'm not crazy," Anna spat, struggling briefly underneath the thing. But she was weak, her limbs tired. She couldn't get out from under without finding a weak spot, and the wraith revealed none.

"Cute." Fingers tangled in her hair and Anna's head was tugged back roughly.

She could see the wraith's face in her peripheral vision as it pressed inward until they nearly touched. Its breath was warm on Anna's face as it spoke again.

"But you didn't really think most girls take pills every morning just to feel alive, did you?"

Anna grit her teeth, trying to separate herself from it all. There was no meaning to the wraith's words, she told herself. They were a taunt. "Tough talk," she spat, "coming from a murderer."

The wraith pulled its head back and laughed. "Baby, by the time I kill people, they're beggin' for it." It stroked a hand along the back of her head, and Anna couldn't help the shiver that ran down her spine. The wraith gripped her hair again and yanked her to her knees. "You'll understand soon enough," it promised softly. "I can make you even crazier."

Anna looked up with wide eyes at the wraith's face. It was so calm and in control that her fear made her chest grow tighter. She'd never gone head to head with one of these before. Her brothers had multiple times, but not her. She didn't know how long she would have if it started to attack her. She didn't know if she would be able to fight once it started giving her the crazy treatment.

Cool hands cupped her face, fingers delicate against the skin of her cheeks. "Better?" the wraith asked.

But Anna's eyes were fixed on a point over the thing's shoulder now. In the corner of the room was a daunting blur in the shape of a person, but with no discernable face or limbs. "What is that?" she asked, her voice quivering.

"Don't you mean who?" the wraith breathed.

It finally stepped back from her, and Anna shoved to her feet, watching the shape across the room. It shook and flickered and then suddenly became a clear image. Anna stumbled back a step, trying to blink it away. But the figure remained. "Abaddon," she whispered.

"What's the matter?" a thin voice teased in her ear. "Does she scare you?"

Anna had to work to pull her eyes away from Abaddon, but when she managed it, she looked down at the floor and closed her eyes tightly. "She's not real," she whispered. "She's not real."

"Isn't she?"

Anna flinched, backing directly into the wraith behind her when Abaddon appeared suddenly right in front of her. She could feel the heat of the demon's body, smell her perfume, and it smelled just like it had the night of Chloe's death. "No," she murmured, shrinking in on herself so that she didn't have to feel the wraith's skin on hers. She shoved sideways, away from the both of them.

"What's the matter, Princess?" Abaddon called after her as Anna rushed into the kitchen. "I thought we were friends!"

As Anna rummaged through a kitchen drawer, desperate for a silver knife, or even just a simple iron one, she was chased by Abaddon's laughter. Her fingers finally found a shiny silver dagger buried among the paring knives in Jody's kitchen drawer. She turned around, eyes searching for the wraith, but it was nowhere to be seen. "No," she whispered. "Where the hell are you, you freak?!"

Her grip on the handle of the knife tightened as Abaddon moved closer to her. Anna's entire body was shaking, her stomach flipping. "You're not real," she said firmly. But it didn't make a difference in the world, because Abaddon wasn't going anywhere.

"I must say," a new voice spoke up casually. Anna startled and swung her knife-wielding hand in that direction. "Considering all the things your family has hunted, I find it interesting that she is your biggest fear."

"Mom," Anna whimpered, her arm falling limply to her side. Her eyes burned and watered. "Mom, I'm sorry." She stepped closer to the woman whose hair and eyes matched her own so closely. "Mom-"

But the woman's eyes flicked black, and she tossed her head back with a booming laugh.

"No, no, Love," the demon said with a twisted smile. "It's me. Maya."

Anna grit her teeth again, her eyes still wet, trying to wrap her mind around all of it. The wraith, her mind supplied. You have to kill the wraith.

But a hand wrapped freezing cold around her forearm, and she felt paralyzed. Her mind went blank again, and she turned her head to see Abaddon's face just inches from her own.

"You Winchesters, always in my way."

"No," Anna pleaded. "No, make her go away. Make her go away!"

"Anna," Maya tutted. She stepped closer. "Don't be melodramatic now. You know she isn't real."

Anna squeezed her eyes shut and shook her head, gripping the knife in her hand even tighter. "No," she muttered. "She's not real. You're not real."

But she couldn't remember what was real.

She couldn't remember why she had a knife in her hand. She couldn't remember why she was seeing things. She couldn't remember how to stop it. All of it ramped her fear up and up until she could barely breathe and her heart was pounding hot and dry in her throat.

"Go away," she begged.

"I told you."

Anna's eyes popped wide open. "You," she breathed, looking the wraith dead in the eyes now. This wasn't real. It was the wraith's doing.

She had to kill it.

So before it had time to speak another word, she lunged for it, and the knife plunged deep into the cavity of its chest. But when she looked up to its face so she could watch it die, Anna frowned.

The wraith was smiling.

"You really are crazy," it laughed. "Aren't you?"

Anna's eyes turned hazily downward again until they found the wraith's chest. There was no blood, no hole, no knife.

There was no knife.

Anna looked frantically down at her hand and saw nothing but bloody nail marks outlined by bruises. "What," she whispered. "But..."

"I told you," the wraith cooed. "You'll be begging me to kill you."

()()()

Anna had spent nights of fear and guilt alone before, curled up on the floor of her bedroom, back to her door, crying. She'd been sad, and she'd been lonely. But the feelings had always been manageable, and they'd always been secured tightly to her own mind. As little control as she'd had over her mind at times, it had still been hers, and she'd always been able to twist the thoughts and feelings at least a little.

This was different. It wasn't hers, and she couldn't turn it off. She couldn't make it go away. She could hardly manage to keep track of it. All she could do was clamp her hands over her ears, squeeze her eyes shut tight, and wait.

Fingers touched her, but she had no way of knowing whether they were real or make believe. Their cold burned against the skin of her bare shoulders and neck, teasing and terrifying.

"Go away," she whispered, pulling her hands off her ears. "Go away." Louder this time. She jolted up from her seat on the floor, spinning around to face the hallucinations, but they were gone. There was nobody there. "What's wrong with me?" she whispered. She brushed tears off her cheeks with the palms of her hands. "What the fuck is wrong with me?"

"You're nuts," Abaddon spoke up from behind her.

Anna pivoted. But at the first glimpse of the demon's face, she turned her head away again. She couldn't stand the way her heart thumped when she looked at Abaddon. She couldn't understand why she was so damn scared of her. Abaddon was dead. She was dead.

But it didn't matter, because her fingers were touching Anna's face now. They were grazing her chin and then her jaw and then her cheek. "I could have killed you," Abaddon said softly, her breath hot on Anna's face. "But I let you live. I think I deserve a little gratitude." She smiled nefariously, her eyes twinkling. "Wouldn't you say so?"

Anna felt her body shrinking in on itself. "You're not real," she said, but it was coming out more like a plea than a statement now.

"How sure are you of that?" Abaddon asked. "Would you bet your life on it? Would you bet your brother's life on it?"

As if on queue, there were headlights illuminating the windows, and a familiar rumble filled the air. Anna's eyes widened in fear. She'd been wanting her family to come back all along, but now that they had arrived, she felt nothing but horror.

"Don't hurt them," she begged. "Don't. Please." She looked back up at her nightmare's face, watched fearfully as Abaddon smiled wider.

"Stupid girl," Abaddon purred. "I'm not even real."

Of course not. Of course she wasn't. But Anna had forgotten. Just for a minute, she'd forgotten. So even with the space in front of her empty again, her breath caught in her chest. She really was crazy.

Anna brought her palms to her face to rub harshly at her eyes and cheeks. Her eyes were red-ringed and bloodshot. She could feel them burning and aching. She was so tired. But more than anything she was scared.

"Dean," she said into the empty room, remembering the headlights out front. "Dean!" She ran through the living room, nearly tripping over the overturned coffee table in her hurry. "Help me!" She flung the front door wide open, heard it hit the side of the house with a bang. "What?" she breathed.

The driveway was vacant.

"Dean!" she screamed into the night. "Sam!" She backed into the house again, the door slamming in her face the instant she was confined once more. "Jody," she whispered. "Claire." Her voice broke, her throat raw and burning.

If she couldn't trust her eyes or her ears or her skin to tell her the truth... then what could she trust. Her mind had been unreliable for over a year now. It lied to her constantly, told her stories that she believed and then regretted.

But this was different. She was all turned around. She didn't know where she was. She didn't even know who she was. All she knew was fear. Fear and a pair of names that just might be able to conquer it.

"Sam and Dean are coming," Anna whispered, her eyes still wide and red. She looked around in paranoia. "Sam and Dean are coming," she reminded herself. "Whatever happens." She backed up until she hit the wall. "Sam and Dean are coming."

"Stupid girl," a voice crooned.

Anna spun in that direction, fists curled and ready to fight. But she looked down at her hands, remembering the knife that had disappeared before. What could she trust? Was her body doing what she thought it was? Or was she still curled up in the corner of the living room, hands limp against her knees.

She forced her head upward, her chin grazing the tops of her knees. She was on the floor. Her arms were curled around her knees, pushing them to her chest. Her wrist was a ring of raw skin and pus, a metal cuff surrounding it. Her eyes caught her mother's face, green eyes on green eyes.

"Maya," she whispered. "No." She yanked against the cuff around her wrist, but she was stuck. "Please don't do it," she cried. "Please don't do it."

In spite of her begging, Abaddon stepped out from behind Maya, demon-killing knife poised in her hand.

"Mom," Anna pleaded. "Mom, I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

"Stupid girl," Maya repeated. "You stupid, stupid girl."

Anna's chin hit her chest, her knees straightening as her body went limp. It was resignation, but more than that, it was grief. "I'm sorry," she whimpered, tears dripping from her chin. She sniffled and choked on her own snot and tears. Her throat burned, her eyes stung, and her wrist was on fire.

Abaddon smiled deviously at her. "Watch closely," she said, leaning in as if sharing a secret. "This is when you start to lose it."

Anna dragged her chin back up. The knife plunged into Chloe's chest.

Then it was all screams. Her screams. Raw, sounding exactly the way they had that night. It was just like the first time, just like her dreams. She'd never forgotten. She would never forget.

"Pity," a thin voice said above her.

Anna tossed her head back, her arm jerking forward. She wasn't restrained anymore. Her wrist was whole except for a few deep scratchmarks that appeared to have been made by her own fingernails. She looked up at the wraith, and it was frowning down at her.

"I didn't even get a taste."

Anna blinked rapidly, feeling heat begin to envelope her. Her skin felt sticky with sweat, her curls damp and clinging to her neck and face. It was then that she noticed it.

The tip of a silver knife protruded from the wraith's chest.

When the body fell to the side, there was Dean.

Anna swallowed, blinked, waited for him to disappear and leave her cold and alone. But he stayed there.

"Dean?" she whispered, hesitant and terrified. "You... You're real?"

The way his face tightened in sympathy as he nodded told her all she needed to know.

She pushed herself to her feet and reached out tentatively until her fingers could wrap tightly into the shoulder of his red flannel. He was sweating, and there was a thin trickle of blood at the corner of his mouth.

Anna crushed herself against him, her head turned just enough to the side that she could see the wraith's body on the floor. It was so still, the silver knife still enlodged in its heart.

"You okay?" Dean asked above her, his hand stroking the back of her head.

Anna nodded, pressing her hands against his back. It was difficult to believe anything was real. But she kept her eyes fixed on the wraith's corpse, and that helped. None of her hallucinations had been this comforting. Not for this long.

When she was ready, she pulled back and looked around. The living room was a mess. The couch cushions had been thrown to the floor, the table was overturned, and there were magazines and glass shards all over the floor.

"God, I made a mess," she said, cringing at the sight. She looked up and found Jody standing in the doorway, Claire just behind her. "Sorry," she offered weakly.

And then she passed out.

()()()

"Hey."

Anna blinked her eyes open and was surprised at the face that greeted her. "Hey," she rasped, then tried to clear her throat. Her mouth was so dry that her efforts did absolutely nothing. "Got water?" she asked, her question barely audible.

"Sure," Claire said and reached quickly to the nightstand. "Here," she offered, holding out a cup of ice water. She guided the straw to Anna's mouth.

As Anna drank, she listened to Claire talk.

"I thought for sure they were gonna take you to the hospital. You were really dehydrated, I guess. But with all the scratches and everything, Sam said we'd better just take care of you here. Even with Alex on the staff at the hospital, there just would've been too many questions."

Anna turned her face away from the straw, feeling a lot better. "Where are Sam and Dean?"

"Sam's in the kitchen, and Dean's taking a shower," Claire said. She looked down at her lap, picking idly at her fingernails.

Anna frowned. "What's the matter?" she asked. She wasn't used to seeing Claire look so small. It was obvious there was something eating at her, which would also explain why she was the one sitting at Anna's bedside instead of one of the boys or even Jody.

Claire shrugged one shoulder, looking sheepishly between her hands and Anna's face. "I'm sorry," she said after a moment. "I shouldn't have left you like that. If I'd been with you, this never would have happened."

Anna struggled to remember what Claire was even talking about. But before long the memories returned to her. "It wasn't your fault," she said. "You were angry, and I called you a bitch."

"But you were right."

"Not really. I didn't exactly think the wraith would show up on Jody's doorstep."

"Will you just take the apology?" Claire requested. Her patience was audibly wearing thin, but not in the way it usually did.

Anna could hear the difference, because she sounded that way herself pretty frequently. It was the difference between frustration with the world and frustration with yourself. "Okay. I forgive you," she said. "If that's what you need to hear."

Claire gave her a shy smile. "Thanks," she said. "For what it's worth, I'm glad you're okay."

"Thanks," Anna replied. She looked around herself, noticed the warm light beginning to come through the window. "What time is it?" she asked.

"Almost six."

"Holy shit," Anna said, and she pushed herself into a sitting position. Her head buzzed a little with the change, but what caught her attention was the pinch at the inside of her elbow. "What the hell?"

"IV," Claire said simply, standing up from the edge of the bed. "Dean put it in. He said you'd have to deal with it."

"Was I that dehydrated?" Anna asked.

"You were suffering from heat exhaustion." Claire's hand went to the back of her neck, and Anna could see the discomfort.

No wonder she felt guilty. Anna would have too in her position. It wasn't really her fault, though. She'd had no way of knowing what would happen.

"Anyway, let me go get Sam for you," Claire said and turned toward the door.

"No, I'll come with you," Anna argued. "I wanna see everyone."

"You should wait for the IV to finish."

"It's almost gone," Anna said, gesturing to the bag. She started to pick at the edges of the tape on her elbow, but Claire huffed at her.

"I'll sicc Sam on you."

Anna felt the familiar surge of annoyance that Claire was so good at bringing out in her. "It's fine, Claire."

"Sam," Claire called.

Anna took her hand away from the tape and raised it in surrender with a groan. "I'm not touching it," she said as Sam walked into the room.

He had his hands in the pockets of his jeans, his orange flannel unbuttoned, its sleeves rolled up to his elbows, and showing a gray t-shirt underneath. "Hey, Ladybug," he said and stepped over to the bed until he could sit on the edge of the mattress. "How you feeling?"

She hadn't actually stopped to take inventory. But Anna just said, "Fine. Tired, I guess."

"What happened?" Sam asked. "I mean, we know the wraith messed with your head, but you were screaming when we got here. You kept apologizing."

Anna shifted in place, her fingers picking again at the bandage. The memories were unsettling, and she didn't want to revisit them, let alone share them. For one thing, Dean wasn't there, and she didn't want to have to explain the whole thing twice. For another thing, Claire was still in the room, and Anna didn't feel comfortable talking about what she'd seen with anyone but her brothers.

"I don't really wanna talk about it right now," she said softly.

"Alright," Sam agreed, and she was grateful for his easy acceptance. "As soon as the IV is done, you can get up."

"Is there coffee?" Anna asked. "I'm dyin' for some caffeine."

Sam snickered, "Somehow I knew you were gonna say that."

"I'll get it," Claire said and left the room.

"Where's Jody?" Anna asked. "I kinda feel bad. I wrecked her house."

"Considering the circumstances, I don't think she's planning on holding that against you."

Anna gave him a little smile. She still felt unsettled, though. The more her body woke up, the more her mind did, and those memories were tickling at her consciousness.

"You okay?"

"Where's Dean?" Anna asked instead of answering. She immediately remembered what Claire had told her.

"He went to take a shower. He should be down soon." Sam leaned over her and gently took hold of her arm. "You're IV's done. I'm guessing you want it out."

"Uh, yeah." She watched him pull the tape off in one fluid movement then cringed as he removed the needle. "God, that will never not freak me out," she remarked, watching Sam's fingers press a cotton ball to the inside of her elbow.

"You don't have to watch every time," Sam reminded her. He carefully taped the cotton down, and Anna sighed in relief.

"Hey," she said and swung her legs off the side of the bed. "I was thinkin' about Claire. Dean didn't... He didn't tear her a new one, did he?"

Sam sat back, and she could see him chewing the inside of his lip. "We haven't dealt with Claire yet, actually."

"Well, good," Anna said firmly. "Cause she had no way of knowing this would happen."

"Anna, it's not about the wraith. It's about being able to listen when it counts. She could have gotten you killed, yeah. But she could have gotten herself killed to, or any one of us. If we'd been in the middle of the hunt and she'd come out of left field, who knows what would have happened."

"Yeah, sure, I mean, I told her that before she dumped me. But I just mean... I don't know, you know how Dean gets."

"He's actually cooled off a lot these last few hours," Sam assured her. "I mean, he's pissed. Of course he is. But he's got a level head."

Anna nodded, accepting that Dean was as chill as he was going to get. She still hoped Jody would do the brunt of the lecturing, though. Dean was good with her, and to an extent, he was good with Claire and Alex too. But he knew Anna a lot better than he knew Claire, and Anna knew from experience that it was a lot more difficult being chewed out by somebody who wasn't in your life day in and day out the way family was.

"Room service," Claire announced as she re-entered the room. "Jody's making breakfast." She had a cup for Sam as well, and Anna wondered if that meant that everybody had actually managed to get some sleep, or if Sam had just left his coffee cup in the kitchen. "Rapunzel," Claire said as she passed a cup to Anna.

Anna narrowed her eyes dangerously. "They'll never find your body, Claire."

"It is way too early to play referee to you two," Sam said.

"Then just look the other way while I murder her."

"Not funny," Sam replied and gently cuffed Anna in the shoulder. "Is Dean out?"

"Yeah, he's in the kitchen," Claire said. "He said he'd come up in a minute."

Anna looked up and to the doorway, her coffee cup halfway to her mouth, when she heard the soft scuff of footsteps entering the carpeted room. It wasn't often Dean walked around in just his socks. But when he did, it was like the room magically grew safer.

"Morning, Sunshine," Dean said, full of pep. His hair was spiked and damp, he wore only jeans and a henley, and there was a cup of coffee in his hands. He looked comfortable, and Anna figured that meant they were staying for at least another day.

"Hey," she said, a real smile pulling at her lips. "Dude, you gotta shave."

"Next person to tell me that, I'm gonna shave their head," Dean snapped.

"Didn't realize that was such a touchy subject," Anna said and raised her free hand in surrender. She sipped delicately at her coffee, wincing when it still burned the tip of her tongue. It was worth it, though, for the way it cleared the remaining fog from her brain.

"Claire," Dean said, stern enough that Anna was actually startled at the change in his demeanor.

"I'm gonna..." Claire turned shyly away, "go help Jody, I guess." She chewed her lip and looked once more between Anna and Sam before heading out of the room, all the while messing with her sweater sleeves.

Anna looked at Sam with a question and maybe just a hint of accusation in her eyes. He'd made it sound like Dean wasn't going to act like a jerk, and here he was already snapping at Claire.

But Sam just gave her a look that said, What do you want me to do?

"So," Dean said, pulling a desk chair over and turning it so he could straddle it and rest his arms over its back. He took a quick sip of coffee and looked at Anna with his eyebrows raised. "Let's hear it."

Anna shrugged, pulling her feet up onto the bed so she could sit with her ankles crossed over each other and her knees out to the side. She balanced her coffee cup on one knee so she could hold onto just the handle and used her free hand to brush some stray curls behind her ear.

"There's not much to tell," she said quietly. "When I got back, the wraith was already here. I was already tired, and it just... overpowered me, I guess."

"Okay," Sam said, bending his head down and raising his eyebrows.

When she looked over at Dean, he had a similar expression on his face. They wanted more.

"She said she could make me crazy. Or, crazier," Anna corrected, itching absently at her arm. She hadn't even noticed the bandage there until now.

For just a second, her heart was in her throat. It was just like before. But her eyes could be trusted now. She'd just missed that detail when she'd first woken up. That was all. She wasn't losing it.

"She touched me, and I started seeing things. That was it, I just... I was hallucinating."

"Okay," Dean said this time. He poked her knee with one finger, prompting her to look him in the eye. "You know, it only gets worse if you don't talk about it."

Anna shrugged one shoulder, bit her lip and tilted her head sideways. How was she supposed to explain without spilling every little detail? Was there a way? She settled on the simplest version of the story she could think of.

"She just... replayed some old hits." Anna swallowed, trying to work up the courage to even say the demon's name. "Abaddon," she murmured. The room was quiet, and she took a slow breath. "My mom," she added. "She just messed with my head. I couldn't keep anything straight. I couldn't tell what was real. And then suddenly I was reliving the night... the night my mom died. And that's when you killed the wraith."

She looked up, her eyes drooping not out of physical exhaustion but out of mental fatigue. She'd felt good for a second when she'd woken up, but now she could feel herself crashing back into her usual state. Depression. She was back to being tired and sad, back to feeling like fuck it.

"Anna, Abaddon is dead," Sam told her. "That doesn't change what happened to your mother, but it does mean that she can't hurt you or anyone else ever again."

"I know," Anna said. "I don't even think about her that much anymore. It just... I guess, deep down, she still scares me. So seeing her again-" She shook her head, her heart back up in her throat.

"Hey," Dean said and poked her knee again. "The wraith is dead too. We got you outta there, and we got you out two years ago." He gave her an encouraging, charming sort of smile. "Nothing's gonna happen to you as long as we're around."

Anna found it a lot easier these days to maintain her pessimistic point of view. She could think like a nihilist and call it realism, and that was comfortable. So it was actually scarier to let herself believe that things would be okay than it was to keep right on believing that life was just one shitshow after another.

Nevertheless, she held Dean's gaze, and she saw so much strength and stability there that she couldn't hang onto her nihilism. Life sucked, but there were reasons to keep going, and she didn't really believe that nothing mattered. She didn't believe that she was alone or that she couldn't be protected.

"I know," she murmured.

"Well, alright then," Dean said. He looked to Sam and then back to Anna. "Let's go get some breakfast."

Anna slid off the bed and shook off both pairs of hands that tried to steady her. Then she ignored both the voices asking her to take it easy as she bounded down the stairs.

The living room had been put back together, almost as if nothing had happened there at all. It felt almost like being home at the bunker, except that there were three women in the kitchen.

"Hi," Alex said good-naturedly. "You don't look half as bad as I thought you would."

"Sit," Jody ordered, pulling out a chair at the kitchen table.

"I just got up," Anna pouted.

The boys had just come in behind her, though, and she was ushered into the seat by all three motherhens.

Claire and Alex went to the cupboard to pull down some plates and cups, and Jody moved back to the stove to finish cooking breakfast. There was already a plate of bacon resting in the middle of the table, and Anna watched Dean sneak a piece before sitting down adjacent to her.

"Hey, Sam, you should do my hair," she suggested, trying to brush her curls away from her face again. Her hair was frizzy as all hell, and she didn't feel like taking a shower yet. She was way too tired.

"I don't think you've asked me that since you were nine," Sam remarked. But he started to comb his fingers through her curls, which were tangled and stubborn. "I need a hair tie."

"I got one," Alex offered, and she pulled one off her wrist to give to Sam. "I can do it if you want," she said. "I don't imagine you're much of a stylist."

"Sammy was great at that back in the day," Dean smirked around his coffee cup.

"And I wasn't good at holding still back then," Anna admitted under her breath.

"Doubt you're much better at it now," Claire quipped.

Anna half-expected her to get a withering glare from Dean for pushing her luck. But snippy was Claire's default setting, and it didn't bother Anna in the slightest. "Oh ye of little faith," she retorted. She could feel the moment Sam tied off the ponytail, but just before he finished, Jody set a plate of french toast down on the table, and Anna was immediately on her feet reaching for it.

"Anna," Sam griped, his hands moving with her as he hurried to finish with her hair. Finally he stepped back and dropped into the chair next to hers. "I know you and french toast are like Dean and pie, but have you ever tried to put a ponytail on a moving target?"

"Harder than shooting one?" Anna asked, dropping a slice of french toast onto her plate with a fork.

"Absolutely."

"Alright, no one else says the word shoot at my dinner table," Jody said, but she was smiling as she sat down at the head of the table.

Claire finished putting forks and plates down, and she took the seat by Jody and next to Sam, leaving Alex to sit by Dean when she came to the table with a bottle of OJ.

"Jody, you're like a goddess in the kitchen," Anna said after her first bite. "Has anyone ever told you that?"

"Your brothers," Jody said and took a sip of her coffee as several hands reached for the food in the center of the table. "Every time I cook."

"I stand by that," Sam said and immediately put a forkful of eggs in his mouth.

Dean just made a sound of pure ecstasy as he tore into another piece of bacon.

Anna glanced up and caught Alex and Claire both eating much more slowly and watching the Winchesters with some discomfort. She slowed down a bit, and after a few minutes, the boys did too.

"Okay, I think we all know we've got a few things to talk about," Jody said when everybody had mostly finished their food.

Anna squirmed a little in her chair. She'd thought she was done with uncomfortable conversations after she'd finished talking to her brothers. Now she was supposed to sit through another one? She glanced past Sam to Claire and was surprised to see her looking right back at her. At least Anna wasn't the only one whose gut was heavy with dread. She picked up her coffee cup and hid behind it, slouching lower in her chair.

"Yeah, cause, you see, Lucy has some 'splainin to do," Dean said, and Anna watched him turn to look seriously at Claire.

"Can I go?" Alex requested softly, and to Anna's surprise, Jody actually nodded.

On her way past, Alex gave Anna a pat on the shoulder and a smile. It was strange being coddled by somebody so close to her own age, but Anna supposed she would be giving anybody her age the same treatment if they'd just been attacked by a wraith and passed out from heat exhaustion.

"Look, I'm sorry," Claire said. "I shouldn't have left her there."

"I'm not the one you should apologize to," Dean retorted.

"She already said she was sorry," Anna said. "That's good enough for me."

"What I wanna know is why you left in the first place," Sam asked.

"Yeah," Dean snorted. "The instructions were pretty simple. Stay home."

This time it wasn't just Claire he was looking at, but Anna too, and she felt a small measure of indignance flare up at the condescending words. But before she could say anything, Claire was already speaking up in her defense.

"I was pissed about getting left behind again," she admitted. "Anna told me not to go, but I didn't listen. She only came so I wouldn't be alone."

"Is that true?" Jody asked, looking to Anna.

It was weird having so many eyes on her, but Anna nodded. "I should have just stolen your keys," she said, glancing over at Claire with a playful glint in her eyes.

But Claire didn't seem to find it funny. "You did plenty," she snapped.

Anna frowned. She was going to get whiplash spending too much time with Claire. One second they were friends and the next...? "What does that mean?"

"Nothing," Claire said, crossing her arms and looking away.

"So, obviously, the right choice would be to stay home next time," Jody said, giving Claire a pointed look.

Claire mumbled something under her breath, and Anna looked at her with suspicion. She had a feeling this conversation was about to spiral out of control. Fast.

"What was that?" Sam asked patiently.

Claire seemed to be pushing the limits of her own self-restraint when she said again, "Nothing."

"Why do I feel like we're missing some details here?" Dean said, and he didn't have half the patience Sam did. He was calm, but he wasn't happy, and Anna wondered how long it would be before the yelling started. She turned her feet in toward each other under the table, wrapping one ankle around the leg of her chair.

"Everyone's fine," she said quietly. "It's over. Why can't it just end there?"

"Because Rapunzel got hurt," Claire finally sneered.

Anna grit her teeth and shot daggers at Claire with her eyes. "Stop calling me that, or I'm really gonna deck you."

"I'd like to see you try."

Anna was halfway out of her chair before Sam's hands were on her shoulders. "Anna," he said calmly. That was all it took for her to get a better handle on herself. She didn't usually lose her temper so easily. But Claire was just so damn good at pushing her buttons. Kid was relentless.

Anna sat back down and watched Claire do the same, Jody's fingers wrapped around her forearm.

"Nobody's deckin' anybody," Dean asserted. "I don't know what the hell is wrong with you two. One minute you're friends and the next you're enemies."

"Yeah," Anna said. "Cause I like her but she's a bitch."

Claire's hand twitched in her peripheral vision, and Anna actually flinched. She wouldn't be surprised if she and Claire came to blows some day. But considering their present company, it wouldn't be happening today.

"Anna," Dean snapped at her.

Anna picked up her cup of coffee and took a passive aggressive swig. It was cold and bitter, but it still hit the spot right about now. There wasn't enough caffeine in the world for Anna to be ready to finish this discussion, though.

"Claire, stop provoking her," Jody said with an impressive level of calm in her voice. "It's getting us nowhere."

Claire let out an angry breath, and Anna thought the sound was very relatable. But she kept her mouth shut.

Things were quiet for a second, and the quiet turned awkward pretty quickly.

Eventually Jody cleared her throat. "Well, this is nice," she said, more to herself than to anybody else. But at least the silence had been broken.

"Look, I wouldn't have a problem with her if she wasn't always telling me how wrong I am," Claire said.

"Claire, I enjoy taking the path of least resistance in life," Anna said matter of factly. "And you really tend to botch that for me. So yeah, in my eyes, you're pretty much always making the wrong decision."

"Same goes," Claire told her angrily.

Anna snorted and looked away. "See, that doesn't actually bother me. So maybe the real problem is just that you need to get over yourself."

"Hey," Sam scolded and shook his head at her in disapproval.

"That's not helpful," Jody added. "We need to all get on the same page here."

"I'm tired of this," Claire said. "I'm nineteen. I'm a hunter. You can't just tell me to stay home and babysit all the time."

"Who was babysitting who?" Anna challenged.

"Anna," Dean warned. "Cut the attitude."

She couldn't make her anger go away, but Anna was good at staying silent when she needed to, and so she withdrew into herself and just observed.

"Nobody's saying you can't be a hunter," Jody said.

"Yes, you are," Claire argued, but she didn't sound pissed this time. She just sounded tired and frustrated, maybe a little bit desperate.

"When did I say that?"

"You don't have to. You're always telling me to stay out of harm's way. Every time I find a hunt, you take over. Or you call in backup," she said, gesturing to the boys. "You don't think I'm capable of hunting anything."

"That's not true," Jody argued. "I think you're more than capable. I just... I want you to be safe."

Told you, Anna thought but didn't say. That was the difference between her family and Claire's. Anna had already had this conversation with Sam and Dean. Apparently Jody and Claire hadn't gotten there yet. Probably because they hadn't been living together all of Claire's life, and because hunting was still uncharted territory for the both of them in a lot of ways.

"I am," Claire said. "I know what I'm doing."

"Claire," Jody said. But then she just sighed. She looked toward the boys, and Dean rose to the occasion.

"Claire, this life gets people killed. Bloody," he said. "Maybe you know the basics, but that's not enough to charge into every hunt you can find head first. You gotta take it easier."

"So, what, I sit in the car until I'm thirty?" Claire complained.

"No," Sam told her. "You learn the lore, the exorcisms, the hand-to-hand, and you stay out of the line of fire. And then when you're ready, you ease your way into the rest."

"I know the lore. I know how to fight. I just need experience. And the best way to get experience is to hunt."

"You're relentless," Anna muttered, earning herself a number of side-eyes.

"Alright, this sounds like a conversation for you two to have," Dean said.

"But the fact remains," Sam spoke up. "Storming into a hunt like you tried to do today can get people killed. And if you keep acting out of anger, you're gonna get somebody hurt." He paused. "Again."

Anna swallowed and reached for her coffee cup again. She didn't have the energy for this.

"Okay," Claire conceded, raising her hands in surrender. "I'm sorry."

I'm sorry, Anna had whispered when the wraith had forced her to relive her mother's death. And she'd been so gut-wrenchingly terrified that all she'd wanted was for one of her brothers to show up and hold her.

She thought secretly that that was exactly what Claire was missing that made her feel so eager to get out there and hunt. Obviously she wanted to save lives. She made that very clear.

But she also didn't have the same experience Anna did with being targeted and hurt by monsters. Her family had been torn apart by the supernatural, but she'd only been touched by it on a few occasions. She knew how bad things could get on a colossal scale. But she didn't realize just how painful each individual case could be.

Anna on the other hand had not only experienced trauma of having her family ripped apart, killed, pit against each other, and backed into corners over and over again. But she'd also been drained by djinn, beaten by angels and demons alike, choked by spirits, and tormented time and time again by monsters who could manipulate the human mind.

She understood why Jody wanted to keep Claire out of all this. She understood why Sam and Dean wanted to keep her out of this. She understood why Claire wanted in so badly.

What she didn't understand was why they had to talk about it over breakfast.

La Fin