Note: Hey, babes <3

Thrilled to be back this week! Hoping that I can get back to posting semi-regularly. And guess what?? I even covered a request in this update :D

A couple people a while back asked to see Anna confronting Mary about her leaving Sam and Dean in season twelve, so enjoy that piece of this chapter, my loves <3

This chapter is a bit random, but it was an idea I had ages ago. I pitched it to @Musicpotterhead and she assured me that it wasn't stupid, so I went for it. But I only just finished it because I'm a slow writer these days. But it is nice and long, over 9k words. I don't know about you guys, but I certainly missed being able to publish chapters that were 5k+ words.

Anyway, this is essentially a series of episode tags (some shorter, some longer) to various episodes from the series. They're not in order by season, because I figured half the fun of this would be seeing who could guess what the episodes are. There are ten in total, but they're not all from the first ten seasons.

Anna's age changes each time, but if you figure out the season, you'll know how old she is. Enjoy!

Hang on, it's Anna.

"You're joking."

"I'm not joking," Sam told her. He lifted his beer bottle to his lips, but before he could take a sip, he pulled it down again, laughing. "You held it together better than he did, and you were only six or seven."

"No," Anna said, shaking her head. She wasn't gullible anymore, and she just had this hunch that he was tricking her. "Dean? Come on."

"Have you ever seen him get on an airplane?"

"Well... no." When Sam raised an eyebrow at her, Anna hurried to defend herself. "He likes his car too much," she argued. "Why would he get on a plane when he likes driving so much?"

"Anna, I'm telling you, Dean is scared of flying."

"No."

"I'm serious."

"Sam, you might be good at pulling my leg, but I'm not ten years old anymore, okay? I'm not buying it."

Sam smiled at her, and Anna could tell just what he was thinking. She wasn't ten anymore, but she was still only thirteen. She felt old and mature but to him... to him she was still a little kid. And that stupid smirk on his face only solidified her stance.

"No way is Dean afraid of planes."

Sam raised his hands in surrender, but when his smile didn't go away, Anna found her resolve slipping a little. She watched with suspicion as Sam turned his face to his laptop screen and clicked on a new tab. Before he even had time to start typing, her curiosity got the better of her.

"Is he really?" she asked, ducking her head to see his expression.

Sam's smirk spread into a grin. He nodded at her with a conspiratory glint in his eye.

"No way," Anna said, her disbelief transforming into pure joy. It soon fell back into doubt, though, as she thought about it. "No way," she said again, this time making it clear she didn't believe him. After a second, she couldn't resist. She shoved back her chair, raced through Bobby's living room toward the back door into the salvage yard. "Deeeaaan!"

()()()

She woke with a startle and a silent scream. Before she was even fully alert, Anna was shoving her blankets aside and rolling out of bed. She raced out of the bedroom and down the creaky stairs. She could hear voices in the kitchen, and the doorway glowed warmly with the lights still on.

The first person she saw was Sam, leaning against the counter with a beer held loosely in his hand. He had on that youthful smile he got sometimes when he was relaxed and enjoying himself. "Sammy, there's something in my room!" Anna said quickly, latching onto his arm the second he was in her reach.

Sam was crouching to her level a second later. "What's the matter?" he asked her calmly.

"He's in the wall," Anna whispered loudly at him, pointing with one arm toward the kitchen doorway and the stairs beyond. "Jus' like Dean said."

Sam's eyes flickered away from that level of anxiety they'd had when he first crouched down. Instead they showed resignation. He looked over her head at Dean, who Anna could feel standing behind her now.

"Come get him!" she begged, tugging on Sam's arm to get him to follow her back to the room. Of course, she would duck behind him the first chance she got, but she had to get him moving first. She didn't understand why he wasn't taking her seriously. Her brothers were the one who'd told her about the ghost to begin with-- they knew he was real!

"Anna. Anna," he said calmly. He set his beer bottle down on the floor and used his now-free hand to gently grab her arm and tug her back toward him. "There's nobody in the walls, honey, I promise."

Anna made a face and ripped her arm out of his grip to put her hands firmly on her hips. "Don't patronize me, Sam," she demanded and watched his face go slack with shock.

"How do you... know the word patronize?"

"He's up there, I heard him! He whispers in the walls."

Sam frowned, a smidge of that same concern coming back into his eyes. Anna felt some relief knowing that he was taking her more seriously again. Beside her, Dean was suddenly crouching too. "What's he say, Rugrat?"

"He says how pretty I am," Anna whispered again, her eyes wide with the secrecy of it. She turned to her right so she could look at Bobby. He was frowning like he didn't quite believe her. Her face crinkled with fear and she turned back to Sam and pressed herself against him, trying to feel safe. "He's gonna put me in the walls, Sammy, just like Jo!"

Sam looked tired, but he wrapped an arm around her and patted her hair with it. "He's not gonna get you, Ladybug," he promised in a soothing voice. Then his tone completely changed. "Dean, I told you not to tell her that story right before she went to sleep."

Dean raised his hands defensively. "She asked me for a scary story, Sam."

"And you couldn't make something up?" Bobby suggested, giving Dean an unimpressed look.

"I'm not a creative person."

"Well, you know what, Dean?" Sam said with a tired, dead sort of smile. "Now you get to go convince her there's nobody in her room."

"There is," Anna argued. She wound her hand in the front of Sam's t-shirt and tugged, but he was immovable. "He's in the wall, I heard him."

"Alright, alright, Rugrat, let's go," Dean said, sounding about half as tired as Sam. He grabbed her under the armpits and scooped her off the floor to rest on his hip.

She was too old for it, really, at eight, but Anna didn't mind, just this once. She was scared. She grabbed the shoulder of Dean's henley tight and pressed the side of her head against his as he carried her out of the kitchen. "What're you gonna do?" she whispered, fully prepared to hear a plan of attack.

"I'm gonna buy you a nightlight," Dean grumbled under his breath. Anna recognized that tone and knew the words weren't meant for her to take seriously. He always said things in that voice right before he gave her a real answer. "I'm gonna make sure that son of a bitch ain't up here, and then you're gonna go to sleep."

"He's in there," Anna warned her brother quietly as they went up the stairs. "He probably can hear us."

"Anna, I hate to break it to you, but we buried that motherfucker under two tons of cement. The odds he's upstairs in your bedroom right now are lower than low."

"Are you sure?" Anna asked, her voice pitching with fear.

"Of course, I'm sure," Dean grunted in a way that reminded Anna of their father. It made her feel safe, and she pressed her head a little harder against Dean's.

They were just outside the room now, and Dean set her down on the floor, but she gripped his hand tight and pressed herself against the back of his leg. She watched as he flicked on the bedroom light. The room didn't look quite so scary bathed in yellow, but Anna still looked around in suspicion.

"See? Empty."

Anna shook her head. "That motherfucker hides in the wall, Dean."

Dean's hand suddenly flew back and clamped over her mouth. He looked down at her with shock and disapproval in his eyes. "Did you just say motherfucker?"

Anna cowered a little. "That's what you called him."

"No, I got that. But you know you're not supposed to swear."

"Okay," she agreed, pushing a little at the back of her brother's leg. "Just get him!"

Dean sighed and moved into the center of the room with Anna sticking close to him the whole way. "He's not in here, Munchkin, I promise."

Anna pouted, and looked up at her brother with fear still in her eyes. She trusted Dean, she really did. But sometimes she wanted a little more than just his word. "Can you put the drawing up?" she asked sweetly.

To her surprise, Dean didn't look annoyed or even weary at the request. His face melted into a funny sort of smile, and he crouched down next to her, one heavy hand ruffling her hair as he did. "Bobby's house has sigils and salt lines all over the place, Rugrat, you know that. Nothing could get in here we didn't want around. You don't need the drawing here."

The drawing was a protective sigil Sam had made for her not long after he'd come back from school. She'd had a nightmare, and he'd told her that the drawing would keep her safe from all the bad things out there. Anna knew now, over a year later, that one sigil couldn't protect her from everything out there. But she still felt safer whenever it was up. Sometimes it was the only way she would go back to sleep after a bad dream without needing someone sitting right there next to her.

Anna looked down at her feet, shuffling just a little closer to her brother. "I know, but- but..."

Dean did that funny little smile again and lifted her chin. He kissed her in the middle of her forehead. "I'll go get it."

()()()

"Hang on, Jody. It's Anna."

Jody's eyebrows popped up as she watched Sam answer his phone. She was raising her hand to wave– a silent request that he say hi for her– but Sam didn't even have time to say hello before his expression tightened and he pulled the phone away from his ear. She looked over at Dean and saw him frowning suspiciously at his brother.

"Anna," Sam said. "Anna. Calm down. Say it again."

"Put her on speaker," Dean commanded, but his order was met with a sign to wait a second.

Then Sam's eyes closed and his shoulders dropped. He let his head fall back and sighed. "That's great, Ladybug, but it couldn't wait until tonight?" Jody waggled her fingers when Sam glanced her way. "Jody says hi." He nodded. "I'll tell her."

Jody watched as Dean snatched the phone away from Sam. "What's so exciting, Rugrat?" She smiled as she watched his face relax. She could hear Anna's voice coming through the phone, but the sound was so muffled that she couldn't make out a single word. She couldn't even discern a positive tone, but she knew there was one from the look on Dean's face. "Yeah, no, that's awesome," he encouraged into the receiver. "We will, kid. We'll take you to the best pie joint in the state of Kansas."

Sam rolled his eyes. "Sounds more like a reward for you than for her, Dean."

Dean covered the phone with one hand and said, "Congratulations, you have the exact same comebacks as a fifteen year old girl."

Sam took his phone back and hit the speaker button for which Jody was grateful. "-so wrong with fifteen year old girls, Dean? Most of us are a lot wittier than you. And Sam's on my side to prove it."

"Alright, off track," Sam cut in. "Don't you have a class to get to."

"I'm already late. It doesn't matter. How's the case?"

"Perfectly fine," Jody said. "Hi, kiddo."

"Oh, hey, Jody. Guess what!"

"Something worthy of the best pie in Kansas, better be a damn good grade."

Anna's snickering was easy to hear. "Nah, I'm basically failing. But I didn't punch a girl in the face even though I really wanted to. And the project is over!"

"I feel like I'm missing some details here," Jody laughed. "But I'm proud of you."

"Thanks. It wasn't easy. She's such a bi-"

"Anna," both boys said at once.

Jody caught sight of someone approaching from behind Sam and Dean. She gave a silent nod in that direction, and watched them glance back.

"We gotta go, Runt. We'll call you later, okay?"

"Yeah, and let's maintain the streak," Sam requested. "No black eyes. For you or anyone else."

"Yeah, yeah. I love you."

"You too."

"And three."

Jody smiled softly as a beep signalled the end of the call. The cop passed them by, but it wasn't a loss. They still had a case to discuss.

"So, you said there were four abductions."

()()()

Anna dropped heavily into the chair across from Sam, her sixth cup of coffee in her hand. She took a sip though her body was already hollow and shaking from too much caffeine and not enough sustenance. Sam hadn't even acknowledged her presence, which wasn't unusual for him these days but still kinda sucked. She almost missed those times when he used to interrogate her about how many cups of coffee she'd had, remind her how important it was that she get adequate sleep, and bully her into eating breakfast. But he couldn't even do those things for himself right now, let alone her.

"Any leads?" she asked.

"You'll be the first to know," Sam promised tersely.

Much as Anna knew that his tone had more to do with a dropping of the facade around her and less to do with any hard feelings toward her, it still irked her a little. "A hunt? Something?" she pressed.

"Anna." Sam finally looked up at her. "Hassle one of the twenty hunters in the room who don't have anything better to do."

Anna gave a wry smile and nodded. She took a big gulp of coffee. "Alright, Sammy." She stood up.

"And quit calling me that."

Again, she understood, but it still sucked hearing him say it. "I'm leaving. I'll see you in a few days."

"Stay safe," Sam said, barely looking up. "And call if you need help."

"Sam." They both looked over to see Mary standing there, looking between the two of them with concern in her face. "You're letting her leave right now? Without even asking where she's going? This isn't like you."

"Mary, it's cool," Anna said. "I'm a grown woman."

But Sam looked chagrined. "No, she's right. You should stay here."

"Are you kidding me? I'm losing my mind every second I spend in this place. There's too many people, everyone is breathing down my neck, and we're not making any progress at all. I'm leaving." She turned on her heel and headed for the hallway. For a second, the only sounds she could hear behind her were the continued background of all those apocalypse world survivors moving back and forth, chattering.

But then Mary's voice followed her, "Sam, you two need each other right now. Go talk to your sister. I can handle things here for a few minutes."

The thought of having a heart to heart with her brother made Anna want to pass out and never wake up. But odds were good that Sam didn't feel like talking to her right now either, so she figured she'd be able to get out of it anyway. Unfortunately, she barely had time to enter her room and stuff a couple shirts in her duffel bag before quiet footsteps sounded behind her.

She sighed heavily. "What, Sam?" she asked without turning around. The telltale sound of Sam clearing his throat told her that he actually didn't have any idea what he should say. "I'll call you when I get where I'm going, okay? I can't spend any more time in the bunker, and I know you're stressed enough as it is."

"Ladybug."

For some reason, the nickname caught her fully off guard. Her stomach dropped, her face went slack, she couldn't think of a single thing to say. She turned to Sam without any sort of mask on for the first time since Dean, and she looked up at him with vulnerable eyes. She didn't know what else he was going to say. She wasn't even convinced that he had anymore to say. But his face was hiding nothing, just like hers. And it was enough for her. She knew she wasn't going anywhere if he asked her not to again. And then Sam spoke.

"Happy birthday."

Anna's eyebrows pulled together in a tiny frown, and then she realized. Yes. It was her birthday. "Oh shit," she said. "I'm twenty."

"I'm sorry," Sam told her, finally actually stepping into her room. "I wanted us to have him back by now. I thought we would, I really did. And this morning, I looked at you, and you... you're..."

"I know," Anna said. "It's okay, you don't have to say it. I'm a mess. So are you."

"Dean would-"

Anna's stomach turned just hearing their brother's name. She wanted to see Dean. She wanted to touch him, wanted to hear his voice. She needed him so bad, and he wasn't there. She looked at Sam, saw the raw pain in his shining hazel eyes, and she knew he needed their brother as much as she did.

"Dean wouldn't want us pushing each other away."

"I don't want us pushing each other away," Anna admitted.

She sat down on the side of her bed, and it felt right when Sam sat down beside her. He didn't put his arm around her, he didn't even sit up perfectly straight, and he didn't try to speak, try to fix things. He curled forward with his forearms on his knees, looking the way she felt. He hadn't been her older brother for a little while now, but at least today he was her brother again. That was more than enough for her. Hell, she was happy to call that a pretty good birthday present.

"You're the only one who really gets it, is the thing," she said. "Which is comforting, but it also makes it really hard to talk to you."

"I know what you mean," Sam agreed. He leaned toward her so their shoulders bumped, and it was so much like something Dean would do that it made her stomach hurt at the same time as it made her smile. "But, hey, my mom is right. You and me, we're what we've got right now."

"Don't forget about Cas."

"Cas has his nose to the ground right now." Sam let out a pained, slow breath. "It's you and me, Anna. And maybe it's time we start taking care of ourselves, the way Dean would want."

"What, you mean, it's not healthy to skip every meal and drink ten cups of coffee a day?"

Sam snorted, but there was no real humor in it. "Yeah, not quite. Hey, why don't we take the day, go do something for your birthday."

"Sam, we can't afford to waste a day."

"That's not a waste. And, look, we're both so worn out, we're not exactly running at a hundred percent."

"More like forty, I'd say," Anna admitted. She nodded, taking a deep breath and turning to actually look at her brother. "So, we take a day, fuel up, get some sleep, maybe try and smile..."

"And then tomorrow we're back at it. Together."

Anna nodded, her chin dimpling and eyes stinging with the threat of tears. "Okay," she said. "I want cheesecake then."

()()()

"Hey!"

Sam looked up in surprise to see his little sister with her fists planted firmly on her hips.

"Dean specifically said you can't do that."

"Anna, I think he was exaggerating when he said that." Sam rubbed his nose one more time and then let his hand fall to his lap. "Man, I'm bored already," he said.

Anna sat down on the foot of one of the beds, her feet dangling just above the ground. "I can turn the tv on. I'm not cursed, remember?" She cringed and looked over at him, "Sorry, I didn't mean to rub it in."

Sam smiled at her. "It's okay, Ladybug. No offense taken."

"Hmm. How about Spongebob? It's really a feel-good show."

The thought of watching Spongebob for literal hours while waiting for Dean to come back made Sam want to claw his eyes out. But he knew that if he even pretended to do that, he would probably actually end up without any eyes thanks to the stupid curse. "Sure," he said. "Spongebob it is."

Anna hit the confirm button on the TV remote, but instead of an animated sponge, an error message appeared on the screen. "Oh, man," she said but then added hopefully, "I can try another channel." She tried three more, and all of them did the same thing. "Sorry, Sammy."

Sam felt beyond dejected. What the hell were they supposed to do now? He didn't think he could stand to just sit in that stupid chair for hours on end. "Just turn it off before it blows up or something," he instructed.

"Hey, maybe we can play with legos," Anna suggested. "Who ever got hurt playing with legos?"

"Toddlers and parents," Sam replied dryly. But he shrugged. He couldn't really think of any way that he could be killed building lego houses with his little sister. "You know what? Sure. Let's play with legos."

Anna's whole face brightened. "Really? I'll get 'em." True to her word, she pulled her bin of legos out of one of the duffel bags and dumped them all on the floor right in front of Sam's chair. "You can't get up, but it's okay. I'll think of a solution."

Any other time, Sam might have been happy to hear her talking the way he was always trying to teach her, problem-solving and confident in her abilities. But he didn't have it in him to feel happy about anything at the moment, because things just sucked today.

"I got it!" Anna announced. She grabbed the back of Sam's chair and tugged, but it didn't move. "Okay, nevermind." She ran around to his front again, put her hands on his knees, and tried pushing.

Sam's eyes widened as his balance was suddenly disturbed. His arms windmilled for a second before he was suddenly looking up at the ceiling, no air left in his lungs. Wide green eyes were suddenly above him, pale blonde curls tickling the sides of his face.

"Are you okay?!" Anna asked urgently. "I didn't mean to push you over. I was tryin' to get you to the table to play legos."

Sam groaned. His back was sore, and he just knew he was gonna have one hell of a bruise in the morning. But he was alright. Well, he wasn't dead anyway. The very thought of that almost made him shiver. He couldn't imagine the trauma poor little Anna would go through if she'd tried to push him to the table to play with her and accidentally murdered him in the process. Decision made, he nudged her gently out of his way so he could stand up, right his chair, and sit back down.

"You know, I think maybe I should just do what Dean said."

"You mean, sit there and not move?"

"Yeah. You play with your legos, Ladybug. I'll just... I'll watch."

Anna shrugged. "If you say so."

Sam watched her crouch down, knees almost even with her shoulders as she started to pull apart some of her previous inventions so she could use the pieces for something new. It was only a few minutes later that both their attention was drawn to the other side of the room by a rattling noise. They both watched as smoke began to furl from the heating unit tucked into the wall.

"Oh come on," Sam grumbled. "I didn't- I wasn't even-" He sighed and made to stand up, but two small hands landed on his knees, this time to restrain him. Anna was nearly at eye level with him since he was sitting and she was standing, and he was surprised at the seriousness in her eyes.

"I got it," she told him, channeling Dean. "Stay put, okay?"

All of his instincts were telling him not to let her anywhere near that thing. It was potentially very dangerous. But in actuality, he knew that it was much more of a danger to him than to his little sister at the moment. "Don't mess with it," he told her sternly. "Just turn it off if you can."

Anna nodded as she ran over to the unit. She spent a little while staring at the buttons and knobs in confusion, but then she made a sound of realization and poked at one of the buttons. "Oh crap," she said, startling her brother.

"What?" Sam asked, starting to stand up again but catching himself. He sat back down but leaned forward, trying to see what was going on.

"The button is stuck," Anna said, her voice strained as she leaned against the button with all her effort. She coughed a couple times as the unit continued to spit smoke and then hissed, rearing back. Sam could only assume she'd been burned, and it freaked him out enough to get him on his feet.

"Back up, Anna!" he exclaimed, and she did just in time to avoid getting burned a second time when a flame suddenly poofed out of the heater. "Woah!"

"Holy crap!" Anna said again.

She raced past Sam while he just stared in shock and frustration. This was officially in the top ten worst days of his life. When Anna scurried back by him, he grabbed her shoulder. He didn't want her going near that unit again. Bad luck or not, it was his place to take care of this. He wasn't sending an almost nine year old towards an open flame.

"Hang on, hang on," he urged, pushing her back behind him. But in her hands was something very useful. Something that for some reason hadn't even crossed his mind as an option before now. "Oh," he said. "Good thinking," and he took the fire extinguisher from her. To his great misfortune, the pin immediately fell out, and the entire canister fell directly on his foot. His hand squeezed by reflex, though, as he tried not to completely lose his grip on the extinguisher, and he got a face full of the white agent in the canister.

"Oh, Sammy," Anna said with great sympathy in her voice. She hefted the extinguisher away from him while he was still trying to wipe his eyes and face clean, and he didn't have time to grab her again before she could get away from him. By the time he looked up, the fire was out, and Anna had set the canister aside again. "Are you okay?" she asked for the second time in twenty minutes as she raced back over to him.

Sam sat down dejectedly in the chair that he never should have left. He couldn't wait for Dean to get back, but Anna was a little better at this job than he'd have given her credit for.

"I'll get you a wash cloth," she offered, patting his arm consolingly.

Sam squinted up at her, powder still in his eyelashes. He could see now that he'd gotten some of it in Anna's hair as well. It looked almost like the bottoms of her curls had snow in them, but he knew better. "Thanks, Ladybug."

Anna nodded once at him in solidarity. "I got you, dude."

()()()

"We are not done with this conversation," Dean promised as he pulled his phone from his pocket.

Sam threw his hands up in surrender but pulled another file from the box in front of him. Dean gave him a stern look and tapped the accept button on his phone screen.

"Hey, Sweetheart, what's the matter?"

"It's Anna?" Sam said, his attention grabbed.

Dean nodded but put up a finger to shush him. "No, not right now. What's wrong?"

There was a pause, but Dean didn't look worried, so Sam turned back to the file in front of him, listening with one ear. "Rugrat, he's probably just in town or something. Didn't he leave a note?" He paused again, and Sam looked up.

"Bobby's gone?"

"Yeah, alright, hang on," Dean said into the phone and then put it on speaker.

"I looked in the kitchen and my room and even on his desk and stuff."

"Did you look outside?"

"Duh. He's been acting really funny lately. I'm worried about him."

"You know, Sam, this might be as good a reason as any to head back to Sioux Falls."

"Dean, we have a case here. You can go back, but I'm staying here."

"Yeah, no, that's out of the question," Dean argued.

"Guys!"

"Hang on," Sam said. "Did you put her up to this?"

Dean made a face that was supposed to say obviously not but instead just made it clear that the answer was obviously yes.

"I can't believe you sometimes," Sam said, shaking his head. "You dragged our twelve year old sister into this, because you wanted me to give up on a case?"

"Sam."

"Sorry, Dean."

"Not your fault, Runt. Listen, I'll call you back, okay? I got a stubborn ass to talk some sense into."

Sam shook his head again in total disbelief. That was some nerve Dean had, making Anna play a part just to get him to go home.

"Wait, I got a real question," Anna interrupted before Dean could hang up.

"What?" Dean asked.

"Sheriff Mills said she would take me roller-skating. If Bobby says 'yes' then can I?"

Sam smiled and shook his head again. Kids. Both of them.

()()()

"This is Mary Winchester. Leave a message, and I'll get back to you as soon as I can."

Anna was barely able to contain herself until the beep finished playing.

"Hiya, Mary," she said darkly. "This is Anna, in case you didn't recognize the sound of my voice. I barely recognized yours. You know, since you ditched the first chance you got."

She paced back and forth in the dimly lit bunker kitchen as she continued to speak in a grim, angry tone of voice.

"Just calling to let you know that as far as I'm concerned, you're officially an off-the-charts terrible person. I tried to see this from your side, I really did. And you know, the first time you walked away, it wasn't that hard. You were... adjusting. But this time? What you're doing? Those people tortured Sam. They shot him, they messed with his head. If you'd been here, you'd know he's been having nightmares ever since."

Her anger bubbling up higher and higher in her chest, Anna kicked the counter with one sneakered foot. She would let Mary believe that the growl of pain she made was just a growl of pure rage. Because enraged, she was.

"And you just waltzed right in, took a fruit basket and an empty promise over your family. Well, guess what? Family's off the table for you now. You might be their blood, but you aren't mine."

Her hands were full on shaking with anger, even as she felt the beginnings of guilt building in her stomach. The boys would be pissed if they knew what she was doing. But they were both in their rooms, both self-isolating, trying to work through their feelings or avoid them.

"Mary, you are not a Winchester. Winchesters put family first, or at least they don't sell each other out. So, if you come near my boys again– my boys, not yours– then you'd better come bearing one hell of an apology. Before you're ready to give them that, don't bother showing your face."

She hit the end-call button and slammed her phone down way too hard on the table. For a second she just stood their breathing heavily and trying to get a grip on her anger now that she'd finally let some of it out. But instead it ripped through her chest and head and took over again. She turned around to kick at the bottom of the wall, kicked it over and over until her whole foot went numb.

"Fuck you, Mary," she said into the empty space of the kitchen. "Fuck you."

()()()

Anna curled her knees up against her chest, staring out the window a few feet from her bed. The sun was shining outside, but it didn't look inviting. It didn't even look warm. It looked cold and distant and small. It looked like it didn't belong, and it looked like it knew that.

Her fingers were cold, pressing against her stomach. She'd been in bed since mid-morning after she'd forced down the breakfast Bobby made her. The days all looked the same now. They had since Sam's departure. Really they had since Dean-

The image popped back into her head, and suddenly all she could hear were screams. All she could see was blood and gore, invisible claws leaving deep gouges in her brothers chest and stomach, the specks of blood on Dean's face, the empty glassiness of his eyes that had once looked so much like hers. That room had been so hot, so angry, so...

Anna stared at the window pane, coming back to herself and yet feeling so emotionally numb that her hands and feet buzzed with it. This happened every time she thought about that day. She just... disconnected.

A knock on the door startled her badly, making her jump into a sitting position. The door was ajar, but Bobby always knocked before he entered now.

Her hands and feet still felt cold and halfway numb, but they'd stopped buzzing, and her thoughts were beginning to return to the present moment. "Hi, Button," Bobby said, stepping into the room. "You been there all day, you feelin' alright?"

Anna shrugged but didn't say anything. Words didn't make a difference, and they were just exhausting. Hell, even when she wanted to talk, it was hard to get any words out.

"I gotta tell you somethin'. You're gonna be confused at first, but you just hear me out, alright?"

She nodded, watching him walk into the room and sit down in the desk chair a little ways from her. She felt half-awake, like a revenant or a sleep-walker. She wished she were asleep, wished all of this could be a dream– though it would be better classified as a nightmare.

"Your brother's back," Bobby said with an encouraging smile.

Anna perked up a little, but only after her brain took its sweet time actually processing that information. "Sam?" she asked in a small, mouse-like voice. "Is he okay?"

Bobby's smile faltered a little, and he adjusted his ratty cap on his head. "Well, actually, I wasn't talkin' about Sam."

It took another minute for her brain to get a grip on this information. Her eyes were already wet and burning by the time her thoughts were together. She tried to speak, tried to confirm that Bobby was saying what she thought he was saying. "Dean?" she mouthed, but no sound came out. Her voice was gone.

"I checked him. Holy water, the whole nine. Dean's back, Anna."

Her whole face crumpled like one more bad idea ready to be tossed in the trash. This couldn't be real. She was dreaming. Her mind was playing tricks on her. Dean was dead, and she was so desperate to have him back that she was hallucinating or daydreaming or...

She flinched bodily at a new sound appearing nearby. But she knew that sound. She knew it so well that her brain, even slow and goopy and half-awake as it was, recognized it immediately. And the boot that had made it was just as familiar to her. Her eyes moved up from that dirty, worn work boot, saw faded jeans, a black t-shirt, and finally... finally...

"Dean," she whispered, the word hardly more than a breath. She couldn't move, her whole body buzzing the way her hands and feet had a minute ago. She was dreaming. She had to be dreaming. But she didn't care, because this was no nightmare. This was a good dream. This was the best dream she'd ever had.

Dean's eyes were shining, almost as wet with tears as hers were. He had a sliver of a smile on his face, and he looked the strangest combination of sad and ecstatic. His voice was gruff and soft and sweet when he finally found it. "Hey, Rugrat."

Anna couldn't move, so she was glad that her brother could. He moved at a surprisingly steady but fast pace toward her, and Anna felt his hands under her arms. Firm. Warm. Real.

She wasn't dreaming. It wasn't a good dream. It was a good day. A real day. The best real day.

She still couldn't speak, but she could feel again. And she did. She felt more than she had in months. Four months to be exact. She felt so much her stomach turned and burned and ached. She felt like her head would blow up, felt like she was gonna throw up or pass out or both. She felt like she was dying and like she was finally alive again.

She felt strong arms around her back and lips against the side of her head, and scruff rubbing against her cheek. She felt warmth and safety and love. She felt Dean. Alive. Real.

"I got you, Sweetheart," he murmured in her ear. "I got you."

She could feel her hands and feet again, could control them. And she wrapped herself around her brother with all her strength. She squeezed the back of his shirt in her fists, pressed her heels against the small of his back, buried her face so hard in the crook of his neck that her bones hurt where they pressed against his.

"Hey, don't cry," Dean urged, but his voice sounded suspiciously raspy. "I'm right here, kiddo."

He rubbed his hand up and down her back once, and then put it on the back of her head. He was so gentle, so strong, so safe, Anna wanted to stay there forever. She wanted him to never let go of her. But he guided her head back from his shoulder, said, "Let me look at you, huh? It's been ages."

Four months. But it certainly had felt like ages. It had felt like a whole empty lifetime.

She could see his face again now as he wiped tear-damp curls away from her face to tuck them behind her ear. He had that same pained and happy smile on his face, his eyebrows pulled into a worried frown as he studied her face. He used the pad of his thumb to wipe tears from her cheeks, and his finger felt so warm there, his gestures so comforting that Anna couldn't help the fresh tears that welled up and slipped right out of her eyes.

"Aw, Rugrat, come on. It's okay." He rubbed her back again, then moved his hand back up to wipe at her face. "You look wiped," he said low and comforting. "You been sleeping?"

"Hardly," Bobby answered from behind them, startling Anna so bad she flinched bodily again.

Dean's arms tightened around her in response, and just like that, she felt safe again, her pulse slowing back down. She'd forgotten Bobby was even there.

"Bout time somebody came around that could convince her to eat, sleep, and maybe drink a cup of water."

Anna swallowed hard. She couldn't focus on Bobby's words, couldn't come up with any of her own. She could just stare at her brother's face and cling to him.

"Sure is," Dean said in a playful voice, bouncing her once on his hip.

He moved to set her down, but Anna wasn't ready. She didn't think she ever would be. She tightened her grip on him, her breath quickening.

"Hey, I'm not goin' anywhere," he assured her.

But she didn't let go. She couldn't let go.

Dean crouched low to the ground so he could set her down without her having to really let go of him. "I was gonna say you were gettin' heavy, but you're lighter than I remember." He poked her in the stomach, stealing a smile from her. "Have you eaten a single meal since I left?"

He hadn't left, but Anna wasn't about to correct him. She still hadn't found a single word to say to him since he'd walked in the room, and that certainly wasn't about to be her first.

"Hey, you still know how to talk don't you?" he asked, hiding his worry almost all the way.

He brushed her hair back behind her ear again, and Anna sniffled. "I- You- Just-" She scrubbed her hands roughly against her eyes, frustrated with her own inability to form a coherent sentence.

"Hey, it's okay." Dean tugged on her wrists until they fell back to her sides. "Just makin' sure your voice box is intact." He gave her a playful smirk, and Anna tried to return the smile, but it just made her eyes water again. "You hungry? I'm starving. Let's go get something to eat, and then maybe you can help me track Sam down. Bobby says he hasn't been around for a while."

"Okay," Anna said, her voice still small but not nearly so broken. She let Dean stand up, let him let go of her. But she was glad when he held out his hand to her. She grabbed onto it tightly with both of hers and tagged along behind him out of the room, sticking as close as she could without tripping him. "I missed you," she murmured softly.

()()()

"Well, he says he's okay."

"Anna, call Bobby. I'm not tellin' you again."

Anna sighed and left her brother on the couch to grab her phone from the table. She unlocked it and scrolled her contacts until she got to Bobby's name. "What am I even supposed to tell him?" she complained, looking back up at Dean without actually hitting call. "We said we'd be fine without him. And nothing actually happened yet."

"Tell him the other shoe's dropped," Dean snapped. "Now, Anna."

Anna made a displeased face at her brother and sat down hard in one of the chairs at the table. But she hit call and brought the phone to her ear. She was tired, and she was in a terrible mood, and she didn't feel like being bossed around, and she didn't feel like talking to Bobby, and she certainly didn't feel like chasing after Sam when he was probably completely fine.

"Hello."

"Dean said to tell you that the other shoe dropped."

"The other what?"

"Sam is gone."

"Where?"

"He's hunting, probably. He left a note. He said he's fine. But Dean can't read all of a sudden."

"Anna," Dean scolded from the couch. He reached his hand out for the phone, but Anna was feeling stand-offish, and she didn't give it to him.

"Maybe he needed a little me-time."

"Yeah, I know he feels," Anna griped. "I'm about ready to get outta here too. It's not easy being in close quarters with Dean for so long."

"Hey!"

She could hear Bobby's bone-deep sigh through the receiver before he answered her. "Give the phone to your brother."

Anna grit her teeth and glared at Dean as she passed him the phone. She got a full-blown Dad look in return, and while it did nothing to make her feel less pissed off, it did convince her to stop arguing. She got up and went to the bathroom where she closed the door and rolled her eyes hard enough to make them hurt.

"And he took my car!" she heard Dean's voice booming even through the bathroom door.

"Ugh," she grunted a little louder than intended.

But Dean was so caught up in his freak-out, voice still going strong outside the door, that he didn't seem to have noticed.

Anna placed her hands on either side of the bathroom sink, leaning her forehead down until it hit the counter. She wanted to lay down in a ball on the floor and scream and cry and sleep.

Even their time spent in this remote little cabin for the past few weeks hadn't been relaxing. Sam's head was all messed up, Dean was stressing everybody out, Bobby was constantly in and out, reminding them every time he came back that there were creepy purgatory monsters trying their very best to take over the world.

Anna couldn't take another minute of it. She needed her own me-time. She really, truly did. She lifted her head and knocked it against the counter once, but it just hurt and didn't help. She looked up to see herself in the mirror. She had bags under her eyes, a new red mark on her forehead, and she looked like she was gonna cry or shout.

She rubbed forcefully at her eyes, denying them the release of tears. "Get your shit together, Anna," she told herself under her breath. "Nothing's even happening." But her chest tightened nonetheless, her eyes told her there were tears behind them that still needed out, and she just felt so... "Ugh!"

She reared back and her hands curled into fists, but she didn't let them fly out to hit anything. She had to maintain control. Her own body was the only control she did have anymore. She caught sight of her eyes in the mirror, and she couldn't help but think they looked crazy. God, was she crazy? She felt crazy. She felt like she was losing it.

"Hey, Runt, come on. We're goin' to find Sam."

"Fuck off, Dean!" she shouted without even thinking about it.

There was a pregnant pause. Anna realized she couldn't breathe. She looked at her reflection again. She looked crazy.

"Hey." A fist pounded on the door. "You can be pissy if you want to, but you don't swear at me."

"Leave me alone," she hollered at the closed door. She was baffled to hear how unsteady her voice sounded. She really was losing it. In a matter of minutes, she'd completely dissolved. God, the bathroom was so warm. And stuffy. She wanted to shove the door open, get some air. But Dean was out there.

"Hey, are you okay?"

"Go away!"

It was quiet for a second. All she could hear was her breath. It was fast, shallow, louder than usual. Her chest felt so tight. Was she sweating? Jesus, she was sweating.

The door knob jiggled. "Anna, let me in."

She couldn't let him in. He couldn't see her like this. He couldn't see her when she was losing her mind. Except holy shit, she couldn't breathe. And holy shit it was hot.

Anna grabbed for the door knob, twisted the lock, and the door swung open.

"Hey!" Dean said and grabbed at her. But she couldn't stand the feeling of his hands on her arms, and she shook him off. Made for the door. "Anna, what the hell? Are you okay?"

"Get off," she pleaded when he grabbed her arms again. "I can't breathe."

In the next second, his hands weren't on her anymore. But he was still standing between her and the door. "Okay, hang on. Hang on. Look, you got space. You don't need to go outside." He gestured around them, and Anna took several steps away from him until she bumped into the couch. "Anna, what's wrong?"

"I don't know! Nothing!" She pressed her hands into her legs, sitting back on the couch. It was soft. It was fine. She was fine. She was... She was fine. She looked up at her brother, feeling only slightly crazed now. "Don't look at me like that," she snapped. "I'm fine. It's fine."

"And now you sound like Sam," Dean said, but he wasn't talking to her in the same testy way as he had been all day now. He was talking to her gently, patiently. He was talking to her the way he usually did. "You really okay?" he asked, taking a few careful steps toward her.

Anna tried to force her breathing to go slower. She still felt irritated for now real reason, but he chest wasn't so tight. She wasn't so overheated. "Yes," she grouched.

"Alright, okay. Don't bite my head off." He sat down beside her, and Anna didn't mind his presence so much this time. "You're allowed to get overwhelmed sometimes, kiddo. You know, it happens to the best of us."

"Yeah, I'm sure you randomly lose the ability to breathe all the time, Dean."

"What, you think I've never seen anybody have a panic attack?"

"Oh come on," Anna said. "It wasn't a panic attack, okay? I've seen those on tv, and it wasn't that. I'm just really tired of being cooped up in here. That's it. I'm fine."

Dean looked at her for a minute, but he seemed to accept that she wasn't about to have a heart to heart with him over it. "Alright. Fine. You don't have to talk about it, if you don't want to."

"I don't want to," Anna said.

"Okay," Dean allowed, hands raised in surrender. "Just... you know, if you change your mind-"

"Shut up," Anna snapped and stood up.

"You're gonna have to check that attitude," Dean told her as she walked away. "I'm not listenin' to it the whole way to Sam." Anna rolled her eyes and heard an exasperated, "Teenagers," just before she slammed the door shut behind her.

"Ugh." Life sucked.

()()()

Anna looked over Kate's shoulder as her friend stirred a watery pink mixture on the stovetop. "I don't get it."

"Get what?" Kate asked her, looking up from the stove as she continued to stir.

"How that's gonna turn into jello." Anna stepped away so she could hop up to sit on the counter. "It doesn't make any sense. Like, I'm not a science person, but it seems like that would break every single law of science. Ever."

Kate just laughed at her and ran a hand through her brown hair. "Yeah, you're gonna have to trust me on this one. I used to make this with my mom all the time as a kid. I swear, it's gonna jello right up." She set the wooden spoon down on the counter and turned off the burner. "Assuming I did it right, that is."

"I'm sure you did, Katie," Anna said with all the confidence in the world. She picked up her bag of gummy bears from the counter beside her and reached a hand in to pull some out. "I mean, at the very least, it's going better than it would if I was doin' it."

"I'll take it," Kate said. She moved the pan to a cool burner and stepped back so she could jump up and sit beside Anna on the counter. Anna held out the bag of gummy bears, and Kate grabbed a handful. "It's so quiet," she observed and tossed a bear in her mouth.

"Yeah," Anna said. "Sammy's still sick, so I think he's either reading or sleeping. Dean and our friend Charlie went out earlier to work a case."

"In Leb?" Kate asked, her voice suddenly colored with anxiety.

"No," Anna assured her, then jostled her playfully with one shoulder. "How long's it take?"

"Not super long. It has to cool down some, and then we have to stick it in the fridge."

"I hope you're more artistic than me too. I got no clue how to make jello look like a brain."

Before Kate could answer her, Sam stumbled into the room, pushing his hair out of his face. "Anna," he was saying as he stepped into the kitchen, but he paused at the sight of both girls sitting on the counter. "Oh, Kate's here."

Anna frowned, worry making a knot in her stomach. "I told you she was coming."

Sam made a face, but then the wrinkles all disappeared. "Oh, right," he said, seemingly remembering. "Uh, look, Dean called, he said they could use my help."

That sounded a bit farfetched considering how much arguing Dean and Sam had been doing for the last week about Sam taking it easy. "He did?" Anna asked suspiciously. "I thought you were supposed to be resting."

The look on Sam's face told her he wasn't too keen on having her looking at him the way Dean had been. "I'm fine, Anna. Honestly. I'm gonna go meet them at the latest crime scene."

Anna looked over at Kate, who seemed confused and a little uncomfortable. She tried to express just through her eyes that something about this felt wrong. Kate seemed to get the message, but she didn't have anything to offer, just gave Anna a shrug and an I don't know look.

"Wait," Anna called as Sam turned the corner out of the kitchen. "Dean has the Impala."

Sam paused and turned back. "Charlie's car is here."

"You're gonna steal Charlie's car?" Anna asked, trying to communicate disapproval. Instead, she couldn't help the smirk on her face, because that was just so cool. A little mean, of course, because Charlie was awesome and sweet and it was her car they were talking about. But, like, mostly it was cool. Wicked cool. "Can I come?"

Sam snorted. "Dean would skin me." He pointed at her. "Anyway, it's a school night, remember? You two are gonna be asleep by the time we get back."

Anna raised her hands in surrender. "Fine, fine." She watched Sam go and then turned back to Kate. "That was weird."

"What? I thought they always hunted together."

"They do, but Sam's sick, and Dean's been on his ass twenty four seven about resting and healing up."

Kate hopped off the counter and grabbed the pan to move it to the fridge. "I don't know, maybe Dean changed his mind. Maybe he needed Sam for something specific."

"No, Sam said he was meeting them at the crime scene. Dean and Charlie could handle a crime scene. The only thing Sam should be helping with right now is research. That way he can stay here like Dean told him to."

Kate shrugged. "If you really think he's lying, why don't you ask Dean."

Anna twisted her mouth off to the side. "I don't know. I don't wanna bug 'em if they're on a case." She ran a hand through her hair, her fingers tangling in her curls. "But... But yeah, I'm gonna call him." She slid off the counter and pulled her phone out of her back pocket. "What time is your mom picking you up?"

"Eight," Kate replied. "Why? What time is it?"

"7:30."

"We should've started on it sooner."

"Yeah, that stupid youtube rabbithole got us good, huh?"

"We can finish it tomorrow night," Kate said. "It's not due til Monday anyway."

"Okay. Which means we can watch an episode of Rick and Morty before you go home if you want to."

Kate grinned at her. "Yeah."

Anna stepped out of the kitchen and dialed Dean's number.

"Hey, what's wrong?"

"Did you ask Sam to come and meet you?"

There was a pause, and Dean's voice sounded very suspicious when he spoke again. "No... why would I do that? He's supposed to be takin' it easy."

Anna sighed. "Well, he just left."

"What?"

"He stole Charlie's car. He said you wanted him to meet you at the crime scene."

"Alright. Listen, Rugrat, don't worry about us, alright? Charlie and I are headed there now anyway. I'll take care of Sam. You worry about your homework and eat some dinner."

It was easier said than done, putting aside all her worry about Sam. He was deteriorating, and they all knew it. But he was so adamant that he needed to play through the pain or whatever. It was exhausting, trying to keep him safe when all he wanted to do was make himself worse. Anna didn't believe for a second that she wouldn't spend the rest of the night worrying until the boys got home.

"Don't wait up. We're gonna be in late. I'll see you in the morning, Sweetheart, okay?"

Anna nodded, "Okay. Be safe, okay?"

"We're always safe."

Anna sighed and looked down at her phone. Always safe was a pretty big exaggeration. "Look out for my boys, Charlie," she whispered into the empty map room. And she turned around to go back into the kitchen so she could sit on the floor and watch Rick and Morty with her best friend.

La Fin