Note: It's done! So sorry I'm a bit late, my loves <3 I babysat this morning, so I didn't get to work on this until the afternoon.

I appreciate all the love these last few weeks. 

This week's chapter fills two requests. One for petrifyingpietro and one for an anonymous reader, both of whom are just such kind souls.

Psst... @Mmiller13 happy saturday. i hope the weekend is making adulting a little bit more fun <3

Quick trigger warning: this chapter doesn't focus on an eating disorder, but there is some disordered eating behavior in here. Please don't read if it will trigger you. I can send you the scenes without that content if you want to read the chapter but can't read about that topic.

I hope you all are living your best lives-- you're lovely humans, and you all deserve the world <3

In this chapter, Anna is fourteen.

Change Is The Only Constant

When she was thirteen, Anna got her very own handgun. When she was fourteen, Dean took it back.

And that was just the beginning.

They'd moved into the bunker about a month ago. The whole fiasco with the djinn had happened. They'd taken some time to settle in.

When Anna had asked, after a couple of weeks, whether they were going to get back to training or not, Dean had sat her down for a very annoying talk.

"Sam and I were talking about it, and there's just no reason you should be hunting right now. You know, we can keep working on self defense. But, with this place, you're gonna be safe."

"I don't want to stop training, Dean. I want to be a hunter. I am a hunter. I hit every bottle last time we went shooting, remember?"

"Yeah, Anna, I remember." Dean rubbed a hand down his face and looked at her with a weary but confident expression. "Training's on pause," he told her. "Sam and I are gonna keep workin' on this thing with Kevin-"

"But Kevin's not even that much older than me."

"He's eighteen now," Dean contradicted. "And he's not shootin' or learning hand-to-hand either. He's... researching."

Anna leaned back in her chair and crossed her arms over her chest. "But I know what I'm doing out there, right? You said I was getting better."

"You are, kiddo. But that's not the point. Point is, you don't need to be workin' on this crap anymore." He paused for a minute, inhaled, and said, "I'm taking your gun back."

Anna looked up with a combination of hurt, surprise, and anger in her eyes. "Uncle Bobby gave me that."

Dean looked regretful. "I know, Sweetheart. It's still yours. I'm not- I'm not taking it, taking it. You just– You don't need it right now. I'll let you hang onto Bobby's flask, okay?"

She hadn't really been given much choice. So she'd let Dean take her gun, and she'd stopped asking about training. For the time being, at least.

Then the boys had run out to help a guy named James who Anna vaguely remembered meeting when she was eight or nine. They came back with the news that James was a witch now.

It had been a long week at the bunker. Sam had officially announced that he was enrolling Anna in public school. High school. Classes would start in a month.

With that news looming overhead, Anna had managed to persuade the boys to take her on their latest hunt. Sam had agreed that it would be a good transition into civilian life. And Dean had, begrudgingly, signed off on it.

With her gun back in her hands, Anna felt amazing. She stood beside the car, checked that she was locked and loaded, and looked up at Dean, waiting for him to relay the plan again. She knew it by heart. But they always went over it one more time on location.

"Alright," Dean said and closed the trunk. He passed a hex bag to Anna, and she tucked it in her jacket pocket. "Anna, you're outside. Stay in the driveway, out of view of the lights." He looked her dead in the eyes. "Do not engage unless she comes at you."

Anna nodded seriously. "I won't. But I don't understand why you want Sam to destroy the altar. I'm smaller. I could sneak in and do it."

Dean gave her a stern look. "Sam's gone up against witches before. You haven't. If you want to argue about the plan, you can wait in the car."

"No," Anna said quickly. She straightened her spine and tried to look obedient. "Sorry," she added with a contrite expression.

"With any luck, we'll be in and out in five minutes. If it takes too long, you know what to do."

At the prompt in Dean's eyes, Anna nodded. "Call Garth. Then Jody." Not Bobby. Not anymore. Her stomach ached.

"That's right. Do not come in after us. Capiche?"

Anna nodded again, feeling more somber now.

"Alright," Dean said, more as a mental check than a conversation starter. "Let's go avenge some dead guys."

As they started to walk up the beaten path toward the witch's house, Dean looked over Anna's curly hair at Sam. "Two witches in a row. Man, I'm gonna need a wendigo or something after this."

"Palate cleanser?" Sam asked with a hint of a smile.

"Exactly."

An ear-splitting scream suddenly sounded from the house ahead. "Anna, stay here," Dean ordered without sparing her a glance.

The boys took off running, and Anna started to follow. It wasn't even that she meant to disregard the order she'd been given– she was just so winded from the sudden change of pace that she hadn't processed what Dean had said.

"Stay," he snapped more loudly and with a darker look in his eye.

Anna backed up a couple steps, looking and feeling like a deer caught in headlights. A stick cracked under the weight of her foot, but the sound was drowned out by another long scream from up ahead. The boys were almost out of sight, and Anna suddenly felt so vulnerable and alone. She unloaded and reloaded her gun, then took the safety off and posted up by a tree at the side of the trail.

She was itching to follow the boys. And this time, it wasn't because she wanted in on the hunt. She wanted to make sure they were safe. She wanted to feel safe herself.

Her heart pounded noisily in her ears as she waited for somebody to appear ahead of her.

Anna knew the importance of keeping her head in the game at a time like this. Nonetheless, the fear choked her. She found herself shifting her weight, moving her feet forward and back. She was practically dancing beside the tree, and she couldn't get her head on straight enough to stop.

She held her gun out in front of her and focused through her front sight until she felt a bit more grounded. If anything had jumped out at her in the last five minutes, she would have been easy meat. The thought shook her.

It seemed like ages she spent standing there on her own. It was so long that her adrenaline began to fade after a while. But with each rustle the wind made in the grass and trees, her pulse quickened again.

Finally, two familiar voices found her ears. Anna lowered her gun and started forward. Was that it? Was it over?

Sam and Dean came into view, their guns out of sight. "Anna," Sam called. He hadn't seen her yet.

"I'm right here," she said and stepped back onto the path. She started toward them, a million questions on her tongue. She swallowed most of them for now. But there was one that couldn't wait. "Are you guys okay?" she asked and stopped right in front of the boys.

Dean winked at her. "Course we're okay, Rugrat." He ruffled her hair and then brushed her chin upward with his finger. "Y'alright? Nothing happened?"

Anna felt a surge of frustration. Nothing had happened. And that was annoying. This was her first time out of the bunker in a while now, and the hunt hadn't really involved her at all. "Fine," she said shortly.

Dean looked surprised at her new tone. But no one said anything else as they walked back toward the car.

()()()

Anna stared out the window with her arms crossed over her chest as the car cruised back toward town.

This had been her one chance to hunt again, and she'd been shoved back into her brothers' shadows. Now, they would go home, and the boys would act like this case had been a special treat for her, and she would get shut down next time she asked to go hunting. Her life totally sucked.

"What do you think, Rugrat? Burgers?"

"Whatever," Anna said with way more attitude than the question warranted. Supper was the least of her concerns at the moment.

Dean's eyebrows popped up at her in the rearview, and Sam shifted in his seat so he could see her over his shoulder.

"What?" she snapped at them.

Dean's eyebrows climbed up even further. "You okay?" he asked her suspiciously.

Anna ensured that every line of her face displayed just how irritated she was with her brother's question. "Leave me alone," she said instead of answering. She turned her head to stare out the window once more.

The boys were quiet enough up front that she knew they'd gotten the message.

A few minutes passed before the single traffic light in town came into view. "Last call," Dean said bravely into the previously silent car. "Speak now or forever hold your peace."

The drive-thru to some shitty chain restaurant was just up ahead.

Anna said nothing, just stared moodily out the window. Couldn't he just shut up? She felt like she was making it perfectly obvious that she didn't feel like talking.

Yet Dean couldn't read the damn room. Well, the car. He couldn't read the car. But still!

The line was short, a small mercy in the scheme of a shitty day. Ahead of them, a man in a Subaru tried loudly to flirt with the drive-thru worker over the speaker.

Anna sighed in frustration. She wanted to go back to the motel and put her headphones in. Her patience was short as it was. She didn't want to be in a line at some stupid restaurant, and she didn't want to be trapped in the car with her family. So, this dumbass being all cocky and thinking he was charming– Well, it was pissing her off even more.

"I'm gonna kick him in the nuts," she announced after a few minutes had passed.

"Anna," Sam chastised gently. "It's only been two minutes."

"He's being an idiot."

"Chill," Dean instructed, giving her a warning look. It was clear they both thought she was overreacting.

Anna didn't appreciate that. For the briefest second, she felt like she was drowning in misogyny. The man ahead of them in line was being pushy, and the two men in the car thought she was being dramatic. She yanked the lock on her door, shoved it open, and planted one foot on the pavement.

"Hey, douchebag!" she shouted. "No one's impressed."

"Anna," both her brothers scolded. Sam reached over the back of his seat to grab the arm she still had in the car.

The man up ahead turned back to look at her. He was balding and had a pair of stupid aviator sunglasses on.

"Get back in the car," Dean ordered. He wasn't playing around. She could hear it in his voice. But Anna didn't really care what her brother wanted at the moment.

"Hi, Kitty-Cat," the stranger called at her, leaning out his window.

It was Dean's turn to get out of the car, and he leaned threateningly over his open door. "Don't talk to her, asshole. She's a minor!"

Bald-douchebag-guy's eyes nearly popped out of his head, and he slid back through his window. He ripped out of the parking lot a second later.

Dean looked sharply at Anna over the roof of the car. "Sit down," he commanded. "Now."

There was a piece of Anna that wanted to slam her door shut and strut to the other side of the parking lot just to prove a point. But a much bigger piece of her was tired and irritated and wanted to get this over with. So, she sat down and closed the door behind her.

"Friggin' kids," Dean murmured under his breath and got situated before pulling forward. "What do you want, Anna?"

Anna clenched her jaw and narrowed her eyes at him in the rearview. She'd fucking heard him mumbling about her. "Nothing," she replied, knowing exactly how he'd react.

"They don't serve that here," Dean quipped. "Pick something else."

The lady at the speaker sounded exhausted when she asked for their order.

"Couple more minutes," Dean requested, then added, "Thanks."

He swiveled in his seat to look at Anna, and she knew where this was going. "I'm not hungry," she said firmly. "You can't make me eat."

"None of us has eaten since breakfast."

"So?"

Dean's eyes narrowed. She was really starting to get his goat now. "Pick something, or I will."

"I'll have the screw off special."

"Watch your mouth," Dean told her in confused shock. "What's the matter with you?"

"Dean," Sam said and nodded toward the window.

Anna held Dean's gaze with a blank stare as he gave her one more stern look and then turned away.

He ordered her chicken nuggets and onion rings. Anna didn't know if the meal was meant to be a peace offering, or if he just thought ordering her favorites would be more likely to get her to eat something. Either way, she wasn't feeling generous. She dropped the bag on the seat beside her and went right back to staring out the window.

Neither of her brothers seemed to notice until they pulled up outside their motel room.

Sam slipped out immediately and headed for the door. It was clear he didn't like the atmosphere inside the car.

Anna grabbed the door handle but was interrupted by the sound of Dean clearing his throat. She closed her eyes and rolled them skyward beneath their lids. She was so not in the mood for this.

Still, she angled her body in Dean's direction. "What?" she sighed.

Dean's eyebrows popped up. "Well, first of all, I'm gettin' tired of the attitude."

"I don't have an attitude," Anna snapped.

"Then why are you yelling at me?" Dean countered.

Anna clenched her jaw and shook her head angrily. She had an attitude because he'd just accused her of having one.

"Uh-huh," Dean said like he'd just proven some kind of point. "Exactly. Now, I wanna know what you're so mad about."

"I'm not mad," Anna lied. She stared down at the leg of her jeans, picking absently at the hem. She couldn't look at her brother, or she would get even more pissed off. And apparently, she wasn't allowed to be angry.

"Well, you're not happy."

"Maybe I would be if you'd leave me alone," Anna retorted, her head snapping back up toward Dean.

"Don't snap at me," Dean warned her.

The scolding only made her feel more livid.

Anna's answer was to swing her door open and get out of the car. She slammed the door behind herself and ground her teeth together on her way to the motel room door. She was so over this whole thing. She needed some space, and she was going to get it.

"Anna," Dean called after her. His tone was caught somewhere between helplessness and righteous anger. "Hey."

Anna didn't wait around to hear him out. She was going to take a nice, long shower. The time to herself would really help take her mind off things and maybe even cool down a little bit.

She snatched her towel off the end of her bed but stopped before actually walking to the bathroom. The shower was already running.

Fucking Sam.

Dean came in with a frustrated expression on his face and the weapons duffel on his shoulder.

It was obvious he wasn't about to let their conversation go. So, Anna tried to nip this thing in the bud. "Don't talk to me," she requested and sat down hard on the edge of her bed. She lifted her duffel bag up onto the mattress beside her and started rifling through it. She needed to find her headphones.

"I don't know what your problem is, Anna, but you better start treating me with a little respect." Dean set the duffel down on the floor beside the table and stepped around it to remove his jacket. "You're mad about something, I get that. But there's no reason to take it out on everyone around you."

At the back of Anna's ribs, lived a faint feeling of guilt. But she took a short breath and filled her lungs with anger again. "Shut up, Dean."

Dean's eyebrows popped up, and his eyes narrowed dangerously. "You're cruisin', kid," he warned her and pointed one finger at her.

Anna rolled her eyes and pulled her headphones out of her bag. She wanted some space to breathe. But she'd never really had that on the road. She'd grown up practically in her brothers' pockets, not to mention their shadows. So, she settled for a sound barrier and turned her music up all the way.

She could practically feel Dean lumbering around and mumbling to himself. It annoyed her to no end.

The evening rolled along slowly.

Anna spent an hour in the shower once Sam had come out, even though the water went cold after fifteen minutes.

It was past ten when Anna felt calm enough to take her headphones out for the night. She set her phone aside and stared at the ceiling for a minute. The boys were talking quietly, and the rumble of their voices was calming. She blinked slowly and considered going to sleep.

The problem was, the sooner she went to sleep, the sooner morning would come.

Then, she would be headed back to the bunker and its loneliness. Back to the world where she was supposed to go to school and get groceries with her family every week and say good morning to Allison at the coffee shop.

"Wichita," Sam said and unlocked his phone to show something to Dean.

"Did you find another hunt?" Anna asked, surprised at the raspiness of her own voice. She hadn't spoken in several hours.

Sam turned to look at her, his mouth slightly open in surprise. "Hey," he said. "I thought you were sleeping."

"Nope," Anna replied simply. She got up and walked barefoot across the carpeted floor, listening to it creak in the soft silence of the room. "Is it a hunt?" she asked again.

"Nothin' for you to worry about," Dean said and stood up from his seat.

Sam looked wary as he slid his phone back into his pocket. It was like he could sense Anna's immediate frustration.

"Well, I wanna worry about it," Anna clapped back. She stood behind Sam's chair and leaned casually against his shoulder. "Is it close? Are we going there next?" she asked, very intentionally looking at Sam's face rather than their older brother's.

"Anna..." Sam started. He was quickly interrupted.

"I told you to drop it," Dean said sternly.

His tone wasn't particularly harsh, especially considering Anna's behavior this evening. But, still, his order rubbed her the wrong way. He really was trying to prevent her from ever becoming a hunter. Anna glared at the back of his head as he walked toward the bed nearest the door.

"We're leavin' early in the morning," Dean added, oblivious to the dirty look he was receiving. "Which means we need to get some shut-eye."

It was an unfamiliar feeling that overtook Anna in that moment. She was so tired of being brushed off. It made her petty. "I don't feel like it," she said brazenly and turned back to Sam. She popped her eyebrows so that he would know she wanted an answer.

"We'll talk about it in the morning," Sam told her. To Anna's surprise, he actually looked annoyed with her too. Dean must have gotten to him while she'd been in her own little bubble. Typical. "Just go to bed, okay? Things'll look better in the morning."

Dean looked sideways at them with the tiniest smile on his face.

Anna gave in and looked between each of the boys with her lips pressed tightly together and her eyes at half-mast. She retrieved her phone from the bed she'd been laying on and sat down at the table.

"What are you doing?" Dean asked, more confused than stern. "We're leavin' by six, Rugrat. It's gonna be a long drive."

"I'm not tired."

"Anna, you've been acting tired all day," Sam said. "Don't be stubborn."

"I'm not a toddler," Anna snapped. She opened a search browser on her phone and typed in 'wichita news.' She scrolled through the first few search results, trying to find evidence of a possible case in Wichita.

The boys were still and quiet, frustration pouring off of them both. But after a minute, they each got up and went about their nightly routines.

Sam changed and settled into bed.

Dean headed for the bathroom to get a shower.

As the lights flicked off by the beds, Anna continued researching on her phone. She could hear the shower running, and she laid her head down on the table. She would never have admitted it aloud, but she was exhausted. The hunt earlier hadn't been very physically demanding for her, but it had come with its fair share of adrenaline, and she'd been lounging around, getting drowsy all night.

She bobbed awake a couple times to reread the same sentence repeatedly.

She woke again a few minutes later to a hand on her shoulder and a voice in her ear.

"-an't sleep at the table, Sweetheart."

She frowned, trying to puzzle together what was happening.

Dean pulled her to her feet and gave her a gentle nudge toward the beds.

It was only because Sam had already fallen asleep that Anna crashed on the one nearest the door. And it was only because she was half-asleep that she curled up against Dean's side when he laid down between her and the door.

()()()

Anna stewed in the backseat as they drove away from the motel the next morning.

She'd woken up feeling pretty good. But one mention of the case in Wichita had turned everything around.

The boys were planning to head there next. But they were going to drop her off at the bunker first.

Bullshit. Absolute bullshit.

"You keep telling me I'm getting better and then changing your mind when it's not convenient. I don't want to sit at the bunker all the time."

"Anna-"

"I've been training forever. You can't keep protecting me for the rest of my life."

"Alright, enough!" Dean finally shouted.

Anna slammed her mouth shut and glared unabashedly at Dean in the rearview mirror.

"You're fourteen, Anna. Fourteen," he repeated and stopped at an intersection. "Gettin' better don't mean you get to run half-cocked into every available hunt. And the way you've acted since yesterday, I wouldn't take you on a grocery run."

"You're being a jerk!" Anna announced and then fell against the door when Dean made a turn with too much zest.

"Calm down before you crash the car, Dean," Sam said to their brother before turning to look at Anna over the seatback. "Calling Dean names isn't helping," he told her. His voice was sharp like Anna didn't often hear it. "If you want to be treated less like a kid, you shouldn't act so much like one."

Anna was startled by that, so much so that the anger fell away from her face. She felt a little hurt. A bubble of indignance formed in her stomach but was quickly popped by a needle of sensitivity. She looked out the window, grit her teeth, and tried to turn the pain back into anger.

Everybody was against her. The whole world was.

Sometimes she felt like it had always been that way.

Lately, the point had been proven repeatedly. Bobby was dead. The boys were trying to get rid of her. She had no friends in the new stupid town they lived in. She was growing more lonely with each passing day. And she wasn't old enough or freaking big enough to do anything about it.

It made her want to run away. But the thought was like a heavy hand hitting her stomach, sending ripples of guilt through her abdomen.

They pulled into the parking lot at the local diner, and Anna measured her next breath carefully to keep from crying.

She hated her life.

The parking lot was packed, and the inside of the diner was so full of voices and sounds that the noise could be heard from the Impala all the way across the parking lot.

Anna wanted to resist going inside. She wanted to be alone with her headphones in. She didn't have any desire to walk into a building full of people.

But refusing to get out of the car would only look childish, and her brothers already thought she was immature enough. She didn't need to lower their opinion of her any more.

Anna didn't say anything as they crossed the lot. When Sam touched her shoulder, she shrugged his hand off.

She slid silently into one side of the booth they were led to and looked out the window. Her anger had taken a sharp turn in the car. It was no longer indignant, but righteous. She was freaking hurt that Sam thought she was acting like a little kid, especially because he was usually the one who was able to see her side of things.

Dean was sitting beside her as usual, and he slid her menu over toward her.

Anna didn't open it. All the menus in all the diners across the country were essentially the same. She wouldn't have had to read it, even if she had planned on ordering something. But she wasn't hungry. Not at all.

She heard the small sigh from next to her and braced herself for more bullshit.

"Come on, Rugrat, you haven't eaten since yesterday morning."

Anna didn't say anything, just ground her teeth together. She blinked deliberately as her eyes began to burn. There was no way she was going to be caught crying. That was about as childish as it got.

"Pick something," Dean demanded of her and poked the menu on the table. "You can't skip another meal."

"I don't feel like eating," Anna told him, letting some of the softness she felt show in her voice.

Dean gave her a strange look, but it was just another variation on the anger he'd held toward her for almost a whole day now. Probably a lot longer considering he was trying to kick her out of his life. "Order something, Anna, or I'll order for you."

Anna's chest grew hot with rage, and she had no time to think before her mouth moved. "Fuck off, Dean."

The look in her brother's eyes packed regret into Anna's stomach. She'd definitely miscalculated on that one.

Dean leaned down close to her and spoke in a stern, quiet voice directly in her ear. "Do you want to talk about something?" he demanded. Anna shook her head minutely, her eyes flicking sideways toward him. She didn't dare actually look at him. "Be pissed if you wanna be," he said shortly. "But do not talk to me that way."

He straightened again and asked her if she wanted to pick her own breakfast.

Anna looked deliberately away from him and shook her head. It was even harder not to cry now.

Thing was, Anna knew she was a little shit. She knew she made everything harder for her family. She knew she didn't really belong. But she'd always felt like she was wanted, at least. And that had made up for all the rest.

Now... it was becoming more and more clear with every passing second that she had nothing to offer her brothers but trouble. And lord knew the Winchester boys had enough of that already.

It was fifteen minutes later that the food landed in front of her.

She thought about trying to eat it. But her stomach was turning in dizzying circles now, knotting up and threatening to turn itself inside out. Not to mention, she couldn't look at anyone, let alone allow them to look at her.

So, Anna continued to stare out the window, chewing on the inside of her lip. No tears, she reminded herself repeatedly. No tears.

"Come on, Rugrat," Dean said in an almost apologetic voice. "Eat something, will you?"

Anna could hear his fatigue. But she felt just as tired. She didn't say anything.

"What's wrong?" Sam asked her from across the table.

Green eyes kept staring blankly out the window. The sun reflected off the windows of the car, and the sky was so suffocated by the daytime that it was beginning to turn a faint shade of blue.

"Just let her be, Sam," Dean said after another minute. "She'll eat." He was clearly throwing in that last bit specifically for Anna to hear. That much was clear by the tone of his voice.

But she wouldn't eat. She couldn't.

Dean asked the waiter for a to-go box twenty minutes later.

As they walked toward the door, the Winchesters' world was confined and tense. The walls separating them from the rest of the world were strict, and the contrast between their silence and the diner's commotion was intense.

Just outside the door, Dean took hold of Anna's arm and passed her food off to Sam.

"Talk to me," he told her. It was the most dad voice Dean possessed. It was gentle but firm, demanding answers but promising a listening ear.

Anna couldn't take it. She pulled away and stepped off the curb without looking.

Then it was a strong arm around her waist. Her feet came off the ground, and silver blurred before her eyes.

A car horn honked loudly, and Dean shouted at somebody.

Anna stood on the pavement, the soles of her feet buzzing from the landing.

Two minutes ago, she hadn't believed this day could possibly get worse.

"Watch where the fuck you're going!" Dean hollered, storming angrily toward the window of a silver van.

The driver stepped on it and tore out of the parking lot, cutting off another car in the process.

Sam grabbed Anna's shoulder and turned her toward him. "You okay?" he asked her gently.

Anna was so winded that she didn't even think to shake him off. She just nodded and waited for her body to reconnect with her brain.

It was just starting to happen when Dean turned around and poked her in the chest with one finger. "What in the hell was that?" he snapped. "Look both ways. I taught you that when you were three years old, and you had to hold my hand to cross the friggin' street."

There was no excuse she could have possibly given to calm her brother down, so Anna just stayed quiet.

"You okay?" Sam asked her again.

Anna nodded numbly. She really needed to cry.

"I've had enough of your attitude, Anna. You don't want to talk? Then knock it off. Cause I'm done bein' nice."

Nice?! Anna felt her anger come back full force. "Not like you'd listen anyway," she retorted. "The only one you ever want to hear is yourself." She turned around and barely spared a glance to the cars around her before heading toward the car.

For the briefest second, she wanted to get hit by a car. That would show Dean.

But the guilt set in almost immediately. That was a bad thing to think. For a lot of reasons.

She felt her chest spasm and her chin wobble. Her eyes grew damp. No tears, no tears. Anna clenched her jaw, swallowed hard, and forced the pain back behind her bones. It could wait. It would have to.

()()()

They ended up staying in town for a few more hours. Dean said they would leave after lunch.

The painful answer as to why, was that he was too wound up to spend hours in a car with Anna. When Dean made that announcement, Anna had managed to sneak a glance at Sam. And he'd seemed to share in that sentiment.

They just kept proving her point.

Or maybe Anna was the one proving it.

She was nothing but trouble, and the boys were finally sick of her.

She locked herself in the bathroom and started the shower. The heat created visible wisps of steam in the air, and Anna felt the humidity begin to coat her skin even before she stepped into the stream of water.

Her body was already beginning to jerk with all the tears she'd been holding in this morning. But she sat down in the bottom of the shower, pulled her knees to her chest, and buried her face there.

She cried as quietly as she could. The walls were always thin in places like this. And the last thing she needed was for someone to hear her cry.

With the water dripping down her face, Anna herself was almost convinced that the tears weren't there at all.

()()()

"Round two," Dean said to nobody as they pulled up outside a truck stop.

They'd left after Anna was finished in the shower, and by lunchtime, they were in a different state.

"Come on," Dean said without any empathy. "You're eating lunch."

"I'm not going in." Anna matched his tone.

"Ladybug, just eat something small. And we'll be back on the road in half an hour," Sam promised. He had a trace of worry in his eyes.

But Anna didn't care. She wasn't going to subject herself to a repeat of the incident at the diner this morning. "I'm not going in."

"Anna Grace-"

"Dean," Sam snapped. "Not helping."

"Shut up, Sam."

Anna sighed irritably and buried her face in her hands. Why was it so hard to get a little bit of peace? She felt shaky and sick as it was, her stomach hollow and achy. She knew she needed to eat, but she felt too overwrought.

"Can't you just get something to-go," she requested tersely.

Dean turned to look at her with a fierce expression.

She knew she was pushing him to his very limits. She'd already managed to get entirely off his good side. Which was impressive considering that he usually doted on her.

"Dean, just do it," Sam instructed, keeping his voice down as if that would alleviate even a little bit of the stress in the small space.

"You're gonna eat," Dean said sternly, raising his eyebrows to emphasize his point.

Anna stared at her own lap and waited for the door to close behind her oldest brother. It creaked and latched, and she rubbed her hand over her face. She didn't know how she was going to survive the rest of the drive back to the bunker.

"Anna, what's going on?" Sam asked candidly. The front seat made a soft creaking sound as he shifted his weight and turned sideways to get a better view of her. "You're not acting like yourself."

"Would you stop asking me that?" Anna requested, trying desperately to keep hold of her temper. Her anger had yet to fade at all, and that had to be because the boys kept bringing it up. "I just want to be left alone."

Her own choice of words stung. Being 'left alone' was actually the one thing she didn't want. It was what she'd been fighting against since yesterday afternoon.

"No, I'm not gonna stop asking," Sam replied with impatient determination. "Because it's obvious you're not okay. And as your big brother, it's my job to fix that."

"Then tell Dean to stop being a dick."

"Anna, stop pretending Dean is the problem."

"He is!"

"We both know that's not true. What's wrong?"

"You are!" Anna finally shouted. "You and Dean. Just get off my back!"

Without another glance his way, Anna left Sam in the car and stormed away. It was warm outside, and the sun's brightness fueled the fire inside of her.

The diner's little doorbell rang some distance behind her, and it was accompanied by the familiar sound of the Impala's passenger door squeaking open and slamming closed.

Anna stared at the edge of the sidewalk by her feet. There were dirty needles and gloves littering the pavement. But the usual discomfort that scene would have sparked in her didn't make a dent in her anger.

"Anna!"

She ignored the two voices behind her and only walked faster. She couldn't be confined in the car anymore. She needed space. She needed air.

"Anna!" Dean hollered again, his voice coming closer. He sounded more panicked than angry, but the change in his voice made no impression on Anna's own feelings.

In fact, the urgent tone chasing her only made Anna feel more desperate to get away.

She didn't think. She just felt. And the feelings sucked.

So, she started to run. Her feet thumped with a satisfying sound against the sidewalk. The air smelled unfamiliar, and the rundown buildings were nondescript.

In Anna's eyes, the world suddenly looked beautifully empty and freakishly surreal.

She tuned out the sounds of her brothers behind her. But she heard the quick, heavy footsteps just as they caught up to her.

For the second time in one day, Dean had his arm around her waist and was hauling her back the way she'd come.

"Leave me alone!" Anna yelled and threw her elbows back to try and get free.

"What the hell is the matter with you?" Dean demanded in bewildered anger. He let go of her waist only when she'd stopped struggling to get free. He turned her to face him, and the look on his face was downright terrifying. Anna shrunk just at the sight. "What the fuck was that?"

Anna swallowed, and it took her a second to even find her voice. Her heart was still racing, and now Dean was looking at her like he might never call her Rugrat again. Like she was about to become his permanent enemy. "I need space," she said shakily.

Dean was still breathing heavily, not so much from exertion as anger. "You need space?" he repeated dubiously. He raised his voice, "You need space– Ask for it! Don't run off to God knows where in the middle of a town you don't know the name of! You wanna get yourself killed?"

Anna didn't have an answer. It was all she could do not to start crying in the face of all that anger.

"What's the matter with you?" he asked in a quieter but equally pissed off voice. "And don't say 'nothing'."

"Why can't you just leave me alone?" Anna cried, failing this time to keep her voice from cracking.

The lines of Dean's face were deep and pained. He still looked mad, but there were all kinds of other emotions trying to take the anger's place. "What did I do, Anna?" he asked helplessly, but his voice was still harsh.

Anna's mouth moved before her brain again.

"You changed!"

Dean's face smoothed out briefly. Then he frowned. "What?"

"You don't listen to me anymore," Anna spouted off. "You yell all the time. And now you won't teach me to hunt, and you don't want me to live with you. You hate me! It's like you went to Purgatory, and when you came back, you weren't even Dean anymore!" Her chest heaved, and she could barely breathe. The tears were going to come this time. And there would be no hiding them.

Dean's eyes were damp, and he reached gently toward her shoulder. But Anna shoved him away. And then she shoved him again. And again.

"Stop," Dean said through his teeth, but his anger was gone. "Anna, stop," he pleaded.

Her answer was to shove him even harder so that he actually stumbled.

His hands wrapped around her forearms, and Anna felt the thin layer of sweat separating his palms from her skin. The sun seemed hotter now, and more malevolent.

"Stop," Dean said in a hard but unsteady voice. "Anna."

Dean's voice had once been like some sort of a magic weapon. It had soothed her when she needed it to, drawn her back toward safety, and warned her when she was losing her way. But now... it just hurt.

Everything kept changing. She kept changing.

Anna didn't want to lose anybody else. She couldn't lose anybody else. Especially not Sam and Dean.

Because, truth be told, she knew she wasn't old enough. She knew she wasn't strong enough. She knew she needed them. And that was why she couldn't let them go.

She stopped fighting and went limp. She was so tired and weak. Her arms and legs were shaking with it all. She hadn't eaten in over twenty-four hours, and she was emotionally wiped out.

"It's okay," Dean said in her ear.

He was gentle again. He was holding onto her, but not to restrain her. To comfort her.

The only problem was, he sounded almost as scared as Anna was.

She got it. She did. She'd have been scared, too, in his place.

This wasn't like her. Not at all.

()()()

The shower at the bunker felt somehow safer than the one in that motel room, which was odd, because just a few weeks ago, the opposite had been true.

Fall Out Boy's Golden was her current repeat song, and Anna listened to it about twenty times before getting out of the shower.

She felt calmer than she had for two days when she toweled herself off and scrunched leave-in conditioner into her hair.

How cruel is the golden rule

When the lives we lead are only golden-plated

Anna pulled on a pair of black pajama shorts and a Metallica t-shirt. She finished changing and picked up her phone just as her favorite line played:

And all of the mothers raise their babies

To stay away from me

The light in the bathroom went out with a gentle click, and Anna stepped out into the hallway. The lights along the top of the wall were on. If not for her exhausted body, Anna might not have been able to tell it was after midnight.

They hadn't gotten back to the bunker until almost twelve, at which point Anna had gone straight for the shower.

Anna left her phone on her bed and walked slowly and quietly toward the library. Her stomach was still empty, and it still ached with a lot of difficult feelings.

She needed freedom. But she needed company. She didn't want to be a burden. But she didn't want to be alone, either.

She had to talk to her brothers. Especially Dean.

It wasn't going to be an easy conversation by any means. But it would be okay. Dean would understand. He would get that she hadn't meant any of it. He would get that she'd just been angry. He always understood in the end.

She paused just outside the door to the library. She'd been half-expecting to find out that both the boys were already in bed. It had been a long-ass trip after all.

Instead, she heard them talking.

"I don't know, Sam. I mean, she's right about some of it. I did change while I was there."

"Dean, you can't put any stock in what she said, man. She was just– She's pissed."

"I know," Dean said. But his voice made it obvious how hard it was for him to believe that. "She thinks I hate her, Sammy."

Anna felt Dean's voice as if it was inside her own chest. The way he'd said those words... well, it had never been clearer to Anna just how much he loved her. Guilt pooled in her stomach.

"She didn't mean it," Sam tried. "She said a lot of stuff she didn't mean."

Dean didn't answer. Or, if he did, Anna couldn't hear what he said.

Anna couldn't have listened any longer anyway. She trudged toward her bedroom with heavy limbs.

It was suddenly clear to her how much she'd scared her family. They hadn't had any way of knowing what she'd been thinking about the last few days.

They'd just known she was angry– resentful, even– and that she was taking crazy risks all of a sudden.

She still couldn't believe she'd almost been hit by a car. And the argument she'd had with Dean in the middle of some random town... it felt more like a bad dream than a memory.

But a lot of her life felt that way– like a nightmare, something she was better off trying to forget. Even Bobby felt that way now.

Anna lay down in bed and looked longingly at the flask on her nightstand. Bobby would have been really disappointed in her. He would've told her to stop acting like an idjit and reminded her that she was supposed to be the smart one in the family. He could have talked her down before she let her emotions control everything.

Anna's eyes watered. She missed him so badly. It hadn't even been a year since he'd been killed. Just thinking about him made her stomach hurt someplace deep.

Sometimes, she stared at the wall or the ceiling and just thought about the way his eyes had changed in the moment he died. She'd watched him go, and she would never forget how it'd felt to do that.

A year ago, things had been so much different than they were now.

The world had been falling apart at the seams. But Bobby had been alive. She'd known the boys were never going to leave her.

Now, everything felt so uncertain. It felt like her family was never going to stop leaving her.

Her mother had run away before Anna could know her. Her father had passed before Anna could begin to understand him. And the boys had both died more than once now.

And Bobby...

He'd been so solid. He'd been the most reliable person in any of their lives.

But now he was dead.

Anna fell asleep with tears sliding down her face to dampen her mattress.

()()()

She'd woken up off and on throughout the night.

So, when Anna turned over in bed and saw that it was 5am, she decided just to get up for the day.

When she stood up, she had to hold onto her nightstand for a minute as black dots filled her vision. She'd skipped too many meals.

She walked slowly out to the kitchen and started a pot of coffee.

It was around six when Sam walked into the room in his socks. His hair was a mess, and there were bags under his eyes.

"Hey," she said quietly.

"Hey," Sam returned. He poured himself a cup of coffee and set it down across the table from Anna. "Did you eat anything?"

Anna shrugged one shoulder.

"Will you eat breakfast?" he requested. "Please."

"Is Dean still mad?" Anna asked shyly instead of answering.

Sam gave her a strange look. "We haven't talked to you about what happened yet," he said. "But, no. Dean's not mad at you."

"I know it was really bad," Anna admitted, running her fingernail along the outside of her coffee mug. "I just... I got so mad. And I couldn't think straight anymore."

"I know," Sam said. He was back to the understanding brother she knew and loved. But Anna was starting to think he'd never stopped being that person. Maybe she'd been the only one who'd changed. "But you have to stop and think before you speak. You really hurt Dean yesterday."

Anna nodded, looking down at the table. "I didn't mean to," she said in a small voice. "I miss-" She clenched her jaw and struggled not to cry again. She'd done enough of that last night.

Sam's eyebrows were drawn together. His hazel eyes signaled his willingness to listen. "You miss what?" he prompted gently.

"I miss..." Anna paused and tried to think of where to start. "I miss Uncle Bobby. I miss the car. I miss the days when we went from hunt to hunt and everything was so simple." She had to wipe her nose on the sleeve of her robe. "I miss Dad. Everything keeps changing, Sammy." She sniffled and looked through blearily wet eyes at her older brother. "I want it to stop changing."

Sam leaned across the table to wipe her tears away with his thumbs. "That's why we're here," he told her emphatically. "That's why we want you to go to school, Anna. You need a better life."

Anna shook her head. "I don't want a better life," she said through more tears. "I don't know how to do anything here. I met a teenage girl in the grocery store a couple weeks ago, and she asked me where I got my top. I said Goodwill and she laughed at me. I don't get that. These people have never watched anybody else die. They think-" she had to stop just to keep breathing. "They think thrift shops are the worst thing that can happen to a person. But Bobby is dead, Sam. He's dead."

From there, she dissolved the rest of the way.

She emptied herself of tears and kept crying until she couldn't do anything but lay her head against Sam's shoulder and breathe unevenly.

()()()

Anna swallowed her last bite of bacon and pushed her plate away. After spending so much time with an empty stomach, the simple breakfast had felt like nothing short of a feast.

"Thanks," she said softly. Her eyes flicked shyly toward Dean.

He didn't bother saying 'you're welcome' which was nothing new. He didn't usually say it. But today, it felt like confirmation that there was irreparable damage between them.

"Can we talk?" Anna asked so quietly and quickly that the words were barely understandable.

Dean gave her a half-amused smirk. But his heart seemed not to be in it. "Got a lot to talk about, huh?"

"I'm sorry," Anna blurted. It wasn't the kind of explosion that disrupted the stillness of a room, though. It was the kind of explosion that seemed to belong there. It was faint and cautious, aware of all the possible consequences.

"I know you are," Dean replied. He wasn't letting her off the hook that easily, but Anna didn't think he was holding a grudge either. "But we still have a lot to talk about. Like, respect, for one thing."

This was her least favorite topic: respect. She didn't have to hear about it all that often. She was generally good about being respectful, because she felt genuine respect for both her brothers. They earned it.

"I can't count how many chances you had to explain what was goin' on, and you just kept pushin'. You know better than that."

Anna bit the inside of her lip and nodded. She did know that.

"When has yelling at us, calling me names, ever helped solve anything?"

She felt small as she stared at her empty plate. That was a good point.

"No one's ever gonna tell you you're not allowed to be angry, Anna. But the way you handle that anger is important. You have to think before you speak."

"I know," Anna said again, her voice still soft. She struggled to look her brother in the eyes. Never was the twenty-year gap between them clearer than in moments like this one. "I didn't mean what I said," she explained. "I know you care. I just feel like everything's moving too fast sometimes."

"I get that," Dean said gently, then tilted his head so he could catch her eyes when she tried to move them away again. "But you have to think before you speak. And act." Dean shifted in his seat, and Anna knew this was going to be the most serious part of their talk. "Runnin' off? In a crappy neighborhood in some random town? Not safe. Takin' off in a parking lot without watching where you're goin'? Not safe. Anna, there are things you can't just stop doing because you're angry. You could have been seriously hurt. Did that never cross your mind?"

In her newfound honesty, Anna had to shake her head.

"It is never okay to take off like you did. There are a hundred ways that could've gone bad."

Anna nodded this time. In hindsight, she'd done a lot of stupid stuff these last couple days. It was strange how much fear and anger could change a person.

"And not eating? What was that about?"

She shifted a little in her chair. "I wasn't hungry."

"Come on," Dean scoffed. "You didn't eat for two days, Anna. You were hungry."

"Okay, I didn't want to eat. I was so... mad, I guess. It made me feel sick."

"You can get a lot sicker from pulling a stunt like that."

"I know," Anna said quietly.

"You gotta be safe," Dean told her one more time.

All she could do was nod again.

Dean looked appraisingly at her for a minute. Then he took a sip of his coffee and started to speak again. "Alright. I know you're sick of this place," he told her. "But you didn't exactly inspire a lot of trust last time we left. So, for a couple weeks, we're all stayin' close to home. And I wanna see you earn that trust back every time we leave this bunker. You hear me?"

Anna nodded sullenly. She was feeling much better now. But she still didn't like all the changes. She didn't like Lebanon, Kansas. She didn't want to go to school. She didn't want to go grocery shopping. Still, she couldn't deny she'd earned the consequence.

"Okay," Dean said again. It seemed that they were finally done.

Anna didn't know whether things were truly okay between her and Dean, though. She looked timidly up at him, and he smiled at her.

He stood up and rounded the table to give her a kiss on the top of her head. "One more thing," he said and waited for her to look up at him. "I will never stop protecting you."

Anna smiled more comfortably and wrapped her arms tight around her brother's waist. "I love you," she said clearly.

Dean was slow to respond, his arms nearly constricting her to death. "I love you, Rugrat."

La Fin