[Chapter 2]

“Reign?” The teacher calls and it feels like she just took a mallet to my skull.

“Here.” I say quietly but it doesn’t help anything. Who thought it would have been a good idea to get pissed last night? Not me. I’m not taking any responsibility for this.

I envy Byron right now as he smiles happily, his perfectly white teeth showing. I glare at him slightly behind my sunglasses as he goes at his business. Stupid kid, he’s the only one that didn’t get completely drunk and lucky for him he doesn’t have to suffer the excoriating hangover that comes after.

My eyes begin to droop closed like they’re being pulled by an invisible force. That’s when the bell rings loudly in my head but it sounds more like a bomb going off right beside me. I cup my hands over my ears, groaning.

From the corner of my eye I see Floyd and Drew doing the exact same thing. I would laugh at them if I wasn’t going through the same pain. “Move off to class, quickly now.” The annoying teacher says, ushering us out.

I pull my bag strap over my shoulder and leave the room without waiting up for anyone. It’s every man for himself now. Walking to the maths room takes less than a minute normally. And I said normally. Me walking there now must be a step every minute. My head hangs and eyes close. Even my bag falls to the floor but I just drag it behind me.

If you were to look at me now there would be no way to hide the fact that I have a hangover, and a killer one at that. I don’t remember clearly what I drank last night but that was some strong shit.

By the time I make it to the classroom door an old man could have already walked back and forth 10 times. WITHOUT LEGS!

I open the door and brace myself, Mrs Neud may be old but she still gives out mean punishments. I don’t look up as I walk in and stand by the door. There’s no sound other than the soft breaths of my peers and then the teacher speaks up as if just noticing me there but I have a feeling she was looking at me for a while.

“You’re late.” She says in a surprisingly manly voice.

I pull my head up to see a man leaning against the desk, neat jet black hair slicked back on his head, tanned skin, brown eyes even muscle. The familiar butterflies return. This man is surprisingly handsome and looks to be about in his early 20’s. Time to play it cool.

“Mrs Neud you look good.” I earn slight laughs from the class, “Wait don’t tell me.” I hold my hand up when he goes to speak, “You did something to your hair didn’t you?”

The man at the desk shows no signs of humour as the class laughs. Eventually the room quiets down and he steps towards me. I don’t move and keep my ground, a plain bored look on my face but no one can see my racing heart in my chest with each step he takes towards me.

“What’s your name?” He asks.

I purse my lips, “Reign Carter.”

“Well Reign Carter, I’m Mr. Alister and I’ll be your date for tonight. It’s here at 3:30, so don’t be late.”

I clench my jaw to stop me from saying anything as he walks back to his desk at the front of the room. It’s no use arguing, all it will get me is into more trouble and I’m already waist deep. I let my mind wander as he talks about behaviour something rather.

I couldn’t stop thinking about it last night, about how I’m going to tell my mum and dad that’s I’m gay. I’m positive that once dad hears it he’s going to either kill me or kick me out and personally I want the later. My mum however isn’t as easy to read, she’s not a book you can judge by her cover either. She looks all fun and games but underneath she’s just a gold-digger. She wants nothing but the money.

That’s the only reason I was born, to take the money when they die and they don’t fail to remind me of that. It hurts knowing that your own parents only wanted you so their money would be passed down to a blood relative. In the end I ended up deciding that I wouldn’t tell them I was gay for as long as it’s possible. I know one day they’ll find out but for now I’m just going to live my life like any straight teenager. Average. That’s what I’m going for.

“Mr Carter.” I hear, snapping me from my deep thoughts. “Am I boring you?”

I nod, “Actually, yes.”

Mr Alister stands right in front of my desk in the back, tapping his foot annoyingly on the floor. When I reply to his question with true honestly his eyebrows go up as though he didn’t expect that answer, “Well then it seems as though we’ll be seeing more of each other these past few days.”

I plant a fake smile on my lips. “Great, can’t wait.” Behind the sunglasses I roll my eyes.

“Sunglasses, now.” He demands, holding his hand out in front of him. “They’re not to be worn in my class.”

I shake my head, my smile dropping. “I’m not giving them to you.”

“Now.” He sighs like he has better things to do than argue with a teenager. I can basically see the look on his face.

“Nope.” I say, popping the p.”

“Don’t make me give you more detentions than you already have.” I roll my eyes and hand them over. I watch the shocked look on everyone’s faces when I take them off.

“I know, my eye looks like shit!” I practically yell.

Last night while I was drinking I may or may not have tempted my neighbour to come punch me. What can I say; it seemed like a good idea at the time.

Mr Alister releases a breath like he wants to ask what happened, but hold himself back from it. “Here,” He says, reluctantly giving the glasses back. “Just take them off when your eye’s better.” He walks back to the board.

I don’t have a clue what it looks like now but in the morning it was swollen, purple and looked like I’d been stung in the eye by a bee. Hopefully that’s what everyone thinks happened. I don’t need word going around that I’d been punched by someone. If the others know what’s good for them they won’t say anything to anyone.

Byron, another thought that came up last night. I couldn’t stop thinking about the way he felt when I was holding him. He didn’t feel like the girls, he felt different, better. I didn’t have to worry about him breaking and he didn’t nag or jump into anything too quickly. I think that’s why I kissed him, if he had have just moved to go kiss me instead of me moving to him I wouldn’t have done it. Somehow that brings me to the thought of an animal, if you move at them too fast they move away but if you put out your hand and let them come to you then they stay calm.

Mr. Alister. There’s something entirely different about him, I can see it. He’s not like the other teachers and it’s not just because he’s younger either. I can almost see by the way his eyes move that he’s different. I watch him closely now. The way he moves and talks but none of the words reach my ears. I concentrate on where he looks and follow his eyes. He seems to move look quickly over the girls swooning for him but when he reaches a boy they slow down. His eyes roam from row after row until his eyes meet mine.

This time his eyes stay locked on mine for longer than anyone and I feel something turn in my stomach. It doesn’t hurt but it isn’t a pleasant feeling either, almost like I’d just drank a boiling hot drink in the dead of winter. It burns me but at the same time it warms me.

He’s the one to break contact as his eyes finally move to the next person.

~@~

It took me nearly a whole lesson but now I’m sure I know what’s up with him. After everything that’s happened lately it shouldn’t have taken me as long as it has and makes me feel stupid. Without even thinking about it I throw my arm up in the air as a girl continuously flirts with him. Stupid girl.

Mr Alister sighs as I wave my hand around. Wow he hates me already, at the very moment I’m not sure if that hurts or makes me feel happy. Defiantly a bit of both. “Yes, Reign?”

“Are you gay?” I call out and the momentarily noisy class goes silent.

Mr Alister looks like I just told him his dog has been shot, hit and drowned. His face is a deadly white considering his tan and his eyes are as wide as saucers. The rest of the class looking at me the same way.

I bite my bottom lip, slightly regretting asking him that but also glad I did. If I kept it on my chest for long enough I would have blurted it out in the worst place. I look around, suddenly realising this was probably the worst place. Oops but there’s no way of taking it back now.

“So?” I ask and that’s enough for Mr Alister to snap out of it.

“That hardly has anything to do with maths.” He says, avoiding the direct question.

“Okay, if one boy called, Matt. Got with another one boy called Mr. Alister.” I pause letting that sink in, “Would there be two boys together or none at all?”

He huffs, “You know that doesn’t make any sense right?”

I shrug, “That’s beside the point. The point is, are you gay or not?”

He sighs and runs a hand down his face, “I’m not gay,” He says and I open my mouth to ask differently but he senses it and cuts me off before I can even ask, “Or bi.”

Hmm… there’s something fishy here. Everyone goes back to their work but I sit there staring him directly in the eyes but he doesn’t look at me, in fact he avoids looking at me all together. Definitely fishy.

~@~

“So you think he’s what,” Floyd asks, taking a bite of his chicken sandwich. “gay?”

I nod silently and glare down at the table. “I asked him today in class but he didn’t answer so I’m going to try again in detention.”

Food flies in all directions as Floyd loses it with laughter. Once he’s calmed down and has the whole cafeterias attention he turns to me. “You got detention already?”

I can’t stop myself from laughing. “Yeah.”

“Dude, that has to be some kind of record.”

Instead of answering I look across the room at a lonely Byron sitting by himself in the corner. I bite my bottom lip as I look around this table. The jocks are already flirting with the cheerleader, some arguing over which one they want; other people just talk amongst themselves in shushed whispers, obviously the latest gossip.

I try to smile again but I just can’t. Sitting here doesn’t feel right and I know it yet I keep sitting here, year after year. “I’ll catch you ‘round.” I say, standing up and walking away, across the room. I feel someone’s eyes on me as I walk but don’t worry about it.

Byron doesn’t look up until I’m standing right in front of him. He looks just as shocked as I feel. I don’t know why I’m doing this but I know it’s not because I feel like I need to, it’s because I want to. “Need some company?” I ask with a slight smile.

At first he’s too shocked to reply but eventually the words catch on and nods quickly, moving over so there’s enough room. I slide down the wall next to him and notice he has his headphones in, “What are you listening to?”

He hands me an earpiece and hold it to my ear. “Panic at the disco, the ballad of Mona Lisa.” We both say at the same time and I can’t stop the smile from spreading on my face.

“They’re the best band ever.” He says and I turn just in time to see his eyes light up, “I went to see them last summer with my dad, they were amazing, even better live.” He rambles on and turns to see me looking at him. A worried look closes around his face, “What?”

I shake my head. “Nothing, I wish I got to see them.” It’s the truth, “All I ever get to see is some opera thing that my mum forces me to.”

He laughs at me, “What fun.”

I ruffle his hair with my hand and it spikes in every direction. He glares at me through his laughter. My smile fades as I watch him smooth out his hair, the sudden desire to kiss him comes back and I know that I can’t. Not now, not here.

He looks up at me with wide innocent copper eyes, his smile fading. I blink a few times and look to the wall as the song changes over to one I’ve never heard before. “The memory.”

I turn back to him but he’s looking down at his hands in his lap. “Huh?”

“The song, it’s called the memory by Mayday Parade.”

“I like it,” I say truthfully, listening to the words.

She is everywhere I go
Everyone I see
Winter's gone and I still can't sleep
Summer's on the way
At least that's what they say
But these clouds won't leave

Walk away
Barely breathing
As I'm lying on the floor
Take my heart
As you're leaving
I don't need it anymore

This is the memory
This is the curse of having
Too much time to think about it
It's killing me
This is the last time
This is my forgiveness
This is endless

Now spring has brought the rain
But I still see your face
And I cannot escape the past
Creeping up inside
Reminding me that I
Can never bring you back

This is the memory
This is the curse of having
Too much time to think about it
It's killing me
This is the last time
This is my forgiveness
This is endless

This is endless 
This is endless
This is endless
Someone help me
'Cause the memory
Convinced itself to tear me apart
And it's gonna succeed before long

This is the memory
This is the curse of having
Too much time to think about it
It's killing me
This is the last time
This is my forgiveness
This is endless
This is endless

Someone help me
'Cause the memory
Convinced itself to tear me apart
And it's gonna succeed before long
(This is endless)

She is everywhere I go
Everyone I see
But these clouds won't leave

The bell rings, cutting over the song and I jump to my feet and offer a hand down to Byron. He looks up at it but shakes his head. “I think I’m gonna stay here for a little while.”

I smile thinly down at him before nodding, something up but I don’t have time to ask. “Alright see ya ‘round.”

He nods and doesn’t say anything else so I take that as my cue to leave. I would stay with him but coach will be expecting me for training. I take my sports bag from my locker and leave to the stadium, just thinking about running seems to make my mood lighter.

I change faster than ever, you wouldn’t even think that I’ve had a hangover. When I finish I struggle to decide whether I should take my sunglasses off or just leave them on. Leave them on.

I stretch before running out onto the field. Coach stands there with the rest of the track team. When I reach him he pats me on the back, “Great job yesterday, Carter.” He says, “You made my day.”

I smile despite Tex staring at me with hatred. “Thanks coach.”

He smiles at me before blowing the whistle and all too soon the headache returns. Great. “Just jogging today boys. We don’t want you all over stretched.”

We all begin to run slowly and stay in a group. 5th lap around someone comes out and talks to the coach. He motions us in and we do so without question. “I need to go take care of something, I want you all to stretch and drink lots of water. I’ll be back soon.” He says to the group, “No funny business while I’m gone or there’ll be hell to pay.” We nod as he leaves and I start stretching. Tex takes this as his chance and pounces on me.

“What do you want Tex?” I ask as he pins me against the stadium wall.

“What were you doing with that little faggot at the party?” He asks, “And again at lunch.”

I ball my hands into fists but stop myself from attacking him. The whole track team has stopped to listen in. “He’s not a faggot, and his name is Byron.”

“Do I look like I care what his name is?” He snaps and I feel like breaking his jaw in two. “I asked you what you were doing with him, you’re not turning into one are you?” He scrunches up his nose in disgust.

I shake my head. “No I’m not gay and I was just talking to him, is that so wrong?”

“Yes it’s wrong he’s gross, unnatural.”

“You’re the only one that’s gross and unnatural.” I mumble quietly.

“What did you just s-” He asks, rising his fist in the air.

Before he can continue a whistle is blown loudly and Tex splits apart like he’s been zapped. “Donik, leave Carter alone before I give you detention.” Coach warns with annoyance lapsed in his voice.

That’s when I look over at him and notice the man standing behind him, watching me. The coach looks around before pointing at a couple of the other boys, and Tex. “You four, go help Mr Alister.” He says and they move off but Mr Alister’s eyes don’t leave mine until he can’t see me any longer.

“Ten more laps!” Coach yells before blowing that annoying whistle of his. I take off, no longer running at a group pace. My body hurts and begs me to stop but I don’t, I don’t want to stop now. I just wish I could run forever.

~@~

The bell for the end of the day rings throughout the school grounds and everyone piles through the school doors to go home. Unlike me, no… because I’m stuck here for another hour.

“See you tomorrow, Reign!” Drew and Floyd call out, leaving the school. Teasers.

I flip them off and they laugh, leaving the doors. Great, now for detention.

Slamming my locker shut I walk off into the direction of the maths room. I push the door open and Mr Alister sits on his desk chair. He doesn’t lift his head up from the book he’s reading so I take a seat at the back of the room. I sit there in a drowning silence. After a few minutes tick by on the clock above the board I can’t take it anymore and drum my fingers against the desk, looking around the room.

When I look back at the front of the room Mr Alister sits looking at me with a raised eyebrow. “Having fun are we?” He asks and I shake my head, stopping the annoying sound.

“No, it’s so boring.”

He sighs and places his book on the desk before raising his eyes to look at me. “Come here, I want to talk to you.”

I stare at him, unfazed. “We’re talking now.” I say, crossing my arms over my chest after a minute of silence I sigh and uncross my arms, pulling my chair up until it’s in front of his desk. I lean with my elbow against it and realise just how tired I am. The run wore me out and every move makes my body ache, being attacked by Tex wouldn’t do any good to it either and I swear the bruise is getting worse.

“How are you doing?” He asks.

I raise my head to look at him. “With what?” I ask.

“Everything. How are you finding the year so far?”

“It’s good I guess.” I say, still slightly confused. “I mean, the year just started so I can’t complain.”

“True, but what about everything else?” He adds, “What about your friends?”

“Couldn’t be closer.” I say with a small smile, picturing the two people I consider my family.

“You really care about them don’t you?”

I nod. “Yeah, we’ve been friends through everything. You know? They’re family to me.”

He smiles slightly and it’s with that smile that makes me see him again, for real this time. I don’t see him as the teacher that got me detention, I picture him as the young man that he is, the one that’s trying to fit in here. After all he is new. I know basically everyone in town because of who my dad is but I’ve never seen this man before.

“I saw what you did today.” He finally says, I could see that he wanted to say something for a while now but I didn’t want to force him to.

“What did I do?”

“You went up to that boy,” He says, “You completely ditched the ‘popular’ people for that boy without a second thought.”

I shrug, “He looked sad that’s all.”

He looks surprised but covers it. “So you’re not friends?”

I look up at the wall behind him, leaning back in the chair with my arms behind my head. “Not yet, but I want to be.” Something triggers in my mind again, “You didn’t answer my question.” I say, sitting up straight.

“What was this said question?”

“Are you gay?”

He groans as if just remembering it himself. “Why do you care?” He asks and that makes me pause.

I’m being honest to God when I say I have no idea why I care if he is or not. It must just be a competition with myself to see if I got it right. That’s all it is, right? I shrug, “I just want to see if I was right.” Lie. I can tell I’m lying but I don’t want to accept the truth that’s being shoved in my face. If I accept it then I’m proving that I’m gay and I just can’t be, it wrecks everything.

“Well if I tell you will you never mention it again?” He asks and I can see just how tired he is. Did I do that to him?

I nod, a guilty feeling washing over my body, what am I thinking. I can’t do this, “Stop.” I say, looking down. “I’m sorry I forced you to tell me, I just… I’m not being myself and I’m sorry.”

He shakes his head. “It’s okay, I can tell you. I also saw how you stuck up for that boy when Tex was insulting him.”

I smile slightly, “Even though Byron wasn’t there to see it, at least I know I did something right today.”

“I’m gay.”

My smile drops and I turn towards Mr Alister, thinking I didn’t hear him right. “What did you say?”

“I said, ‘I’m gay’.” He repeats, heat rushing into his face.

“I fucking knew it!” I scream out, jumping up from the seat and around the room.

Mr Alister doesn’t make any move to stop me and instead watches me with a smile as I dance around the room, something that will be embarrassing later on.

The room tilts so suddenly and I’m thrown to the ground, my vision blurry. Mr Alister doesn’t make a move, thinking that I’d just fallen but then when I don’t get up he rushes over.

I lay the palm of my hand on the back of my head. “Ouch.” It’s still tender.

“What happened?” He asks, panicking slightly.

 “I just, hit my head the other night, I’m fine.” He gives me a look telling me that he doesn’t believe a word I say. “Honestly.” I assure him.

“If you say so.” He says, still sceptical.

I push his hand away and get to my feet without a problem after 10 seconds of not falling I turn to him. “See?” I say, “I’m fine.”

“I’m taking you to the nurse.” He says.

I grab his arm, ignoring the hot tingles that rush up my body. “No, please don’t.” I beg, ready to get down on my hands and knees.

“Why don’t you want to see the nurse? You could have a concussion.”

“Because then the nurse will ring up my parents, then they’ll come home and blame it all on me.” I say, pleading him to see it from my point of view.

“I’m taking you to the nurse and that’s final.” He puts a hand up to stop me from arguing back, “However I’ll tell her not to call your parents.”

I give up, arguing with Mr Alister is like arguing with a brick wall, “Okay, fine.”

Without a moment of notice or warning he sweeps me into his arms bridal style and carries me through the school. A few teachers walk by and cast us strange looks but don’t question it and instead stick to their own task at hand.

There’s something about being in his arms that makes me feel calm and safe. I lean my head in the groove of his neck, the smell of vanilla and strawberry invading my nose, I could never get over that smell. Ever.

All too soon we reach the nurses office and Mr Alister places me on the white sheeted bed. The nurse gets up from her station and walks in. “What’s happened?” She asks, eyeing me but she’s talking to Mr Alister.

“He fell over but he said that he got a bump on the back of his head the other day,” Mr Alister says, truly concerned and that warms my heart slightly, “I’m afraid that it might be a concussion.”

She walks up to me and spins me around so I’m lying on my back and observes the bump on my head, Mr Alister watching closely. When the nurse touches the back of my head I don’t feel the same sparks as when I was touched by guys. I sigh mentally, wishing that it had have been differently.

Using all my will I try not to cry out as she brushes her finger over the bump. However a small weak whimper escapes without me meaning to. “Hey, you’re hurting him.” Mr Alister says, coming into the rescue like a knight in shining armour. What the hell am I talking about?

To make her point about how angry she is at me she flips me around back onto my back. I stare wide eyed as she puts her fingers in front of my face. “Follow my fingers.” She says.

She moves them side to side in front of my face but the more times she does it the more blurry they become. She removes them and grabs a small torch from a draw and shines it in my eyes, longer than necessary. Finally she’s finished and sets it down. Ignoring me she turns towards Mr Alister. “You were right, he has a concussion but it should pass in a few hours or over the night. I’ll have to phone your parents.”

The second she says that my eyes snap towards Mr Alister’s who’s already looking at me. He sighs and unfolds his arms. “His parents aren’t home so don’t bother.”

She turns on him, sending him an icy glare, “Then who’s going to look after him?”

“No one.” I say the same time Mr Alister says, “Me.”

I turn to look at Mr Alister. As much as I may like him I can still look after myself. “I’m not a baby, I can look after myself.” I voice.

He shakes his head. “You have a concussion; it’s dangerous for you to stay on your own.”

I roll my eyes and cross my arms over my chest. The nurse looks from Mr Alister to myself with a raised eyebrow. “You want to look after him?” She laughs, “You must be mad.”

He sighs, “I can handle one teenager.”

“Sure, one teenager.” She laughs again, “He’s the equivalent to 20.”

He looks at me and I smile big at him, hoping to scare him off but all he does is shake his head. “I’ll be fine.” He says, waving her off.

He picks me up and carries me through the door. “Good luck, you’re going to need it.” She says over his shoulder. I wave back at her and she flips me off. I chuckle, oh how much fun we’ve had.

When we’re out of hearing distance he asks the question that’s been on his mind for a while.

“What was that all about?” He asks, motioning towards the nurse’s door.

“Let’s just say the nurse and I have history.”  I say, “Don’t ask.”