Chapter 37: talking and questions

Rose p.o.v

"Can I sit next to you, Rosey?" I nodded my head at Max. He crawled on the bed and sat next to me where we snuggled up. 

Max and I didn't have a great start, but I warmed up to him and he warmed up to me. We just had to find how to live next to each other, or something like that. 

"I am glad you're awake Rosey. I missed you." Max whispered against my head.

"I missed you too, I missed you too," I hugged him even tighter, to make myself believe this was real and not something I made up in my mind to not feel so trapped in my body. 

"Did the coma give you nightmares?" Max suddenly asked. 

I didn't really want to talk about this, especially not to the grown-ups, even though Max and Anna were grown-ups too, they were different. They were more like me. Maybe that's why it was easier to open up to Max. 

Maybe also because I didn't have to look anybody in the eyes. 

I nodded my head against his shoulder and muttered, "But not only the coma." 

"What do you mean?" 

"My..." I couldn't say it, it was too difficult. 

"You mean your father?" Max asked with much hesitance. 

I could only give a small nod. He gave me a small kiss on the head and rubbed my back. "You know my parents weren't the best either." 

I remained quiet, not knowing what to say or how to respond. 

So, Max continued, "My dad, he didn't approve of me liking other boys and my mom... my mom was maybe the worst. You see my dad just ignored me, but my mom, my mom would let me know every day what a letdown I was. Not one thing I did was right to her." 

Max sighed. 

Slowly I moved my hand to his and held it. 

"Meanwhile they would fight constantly. My father overworked himself so he wouldn't have to see me or my mom and my mom became obsessively interested in other people's lives, including mine. Always watching me like a hawk." 

I couldn't help it to ask, it just slipped. "Why like a hawk?" 

"Uhm, it's an expression because hawks have good eyesight? Something like that, I am not smart either you know. If you want smart you need Anna." I couldn't help but laugh a little. I missed Max talking. 

"Are you laughing at me because I am dumb?" He teased. 

"No, I would never. I am not smart too. I just missed your talking." 

"I know, I know, I was just playing with you. I missed your questions, Rosey." We became quiet again. Just enjoying each other's comforting arms and warmth. 

Max's comfort made all the weird feelings go away, made all the bad thoughts go away, made me feel more like myself again. Sadly, it didn't bring small me back up.

All of a sudden, a knock on my door. It was Nathan. 

It was when he would walk through a door you noticed how broad and tall that man was. I had never seen a man like Nathan before. 

"What are my two pups up to?" 

I quirked a brow, "Pups?" 

"Yes, pups, you are just like two puppies because you are so cute," Nathan said with a big grin. 

"Kittens are cute," I thought out loud. 

Nathan laughed, Max grimaced. I looked with questioned face to both of them. "Max doesn't like kittens that much." 

"But they are cute," I argued. 

"No way, they are evil. They scratch and scratch and bite. Puppies are loyal, they are way better than kittens." I shrugged my shoulders. 

Kittens are cute, puppies are cute. They are both cute I concluded. 

When Max was finally done with his rant about why puppies were better than kittens Nathan spoke up and ruined the whole moment. 

"How much I find you pups so cute together, all snuggled up in bed, dinner is ready and we need to get downstairs." 

I frowned. I really didn't want to move again. 

The warm feeling that I felt during my little moment with Max was gone and the weird feelings were back. 

"Daddy, can't we eat dinner up here, please. Rosey is sick, or well, kinda sick, and you always let me eat in my bed when I am sick." 

Nathan chuckled. "Yes that's true, but when you're sick you need to rest to get better. Rose needs to move to get better." 

I moved my face into my pillow. I did not want to walk, especially not walking down those stairs. Max started to whine and Nathan talked again but did not respond much to our desire to stay in bed. "I know I am the bad guy but I promise there will be a good and tasty dessert. Way better than that jelly you got in the hospital Rose. Now let's get this show on the road."

Five minutes later I was walking down the stairs with the help of Nathan. I huffed and I puffed. I hated this. Why did I need to do things I did not like after being in such a long misery? Couldn't I have been left in peace for just a second? 

"You are almost there, sweetheart. Almost there." 

"I can't, I can't anymore Nathan, please," I begged. My legs were shaking, my arms were shaking. 

I was exhausted. 

"Yes, you can. You have fought already so hard, now just a little more."

I shook my head, tears were streaming down my face. I was done with the pain, the exhaustion, the sadness. I wanted it all gone. 

"The more you do this, the easier it gets. I promise, sweetie," Nathan still tried to encourage me again. 

I shook my head. It was not fair, it was just not fair. I was being hurt over and over again, constantly being in pain. 

Now I cried full-on. 

"All right, I think I have pushed you enough. It's all right, it's all right." Nathan shushed me. He picked me up and sat me on a chair. Max looked worried.

He came sitting next to me and held my hand again. "You know you are the bravest person I know," Max said. 

I didn't really hear it. I was only trying to calm myself down. 

We ate dinner in peace, with the exception of some small talk between Nathan and Max. The food was good though, way better than in the hospital. Especially the dessert. Nathan was right. 

When the table was cleared Nathan made the best suggestion, "How about a movie night in Rose's room? You can pick the movie." 

Max cheered and I smiled. 

Luckily for me, I was brought upstairs. Nathan had decided I had exercised enough for the day. "Do you want some comfy clothes on little one? A onesie? Pj's? Or just a large hoodie?" 

"A hoodie," I mumbled. 

"Do you want a paci too?" I shook my head. I wasn't in the mood for any of that. 

"All rightie," He helped me in the hoodie and tucked me in. "Okay, you are all settled now. I will go to Max now and see if he needs help. Do you want to see any movie in particular?" 

I shook my head.  

"Okay, sweetie. I will be right back." I nodded my head. I was in no mood to talk anymore this evening. 

Nathan came back with Max on his hip. Max had brought his stuffies with him while he was all comfortable with a paci in his mouth and a onesie on. 

It felt good to see something familiar, seeing Max in little space. Most of the time I saw him he was in little space, so seeing him like that felt like coming home. 

That evening the three of us were all huddled together in my bed laying in front of the big tv screen watching Lilo and Stich. 

I had to pinch myself every other time to make myself believe this was real because this was the first time in a long time I felt somewhat content. 


A/N: Hope you liked this chapter too. Please let me know what you think. 

Is there something you want to see? Something that you miss or should be added? 

If you want to read ahead you can on my Patreon (see bio for link), chapters 37 and 38 are up there. 

Thank you for reading and have a nice day!

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