Chapter 35: weird, weird, weird

Nathan p.o.v

"Hello Rose, it's good to see you again." I greeted the girl who had been in a coma for over four months.

Rose looked confused and disoriented. Slowly we made our way next to her bed. Max and I were on her right, Derek on her left. 

She looked between us. "Nathan? Max?" 

"Yes Rose, we are here," I said as Max waved at her. 

She looked at me and then at Derek. I held my breath. I was afraid of what was going to happen. I didn't even know if she remembered everything that went on before she got into a coma. 

"Derek?" 

I looked at him and saw he was only nodding his head, probably too afraid to say anything. "You are really here? This is real?" The little girl questioned. 

It pained my heart for her reaction. I thought, I thought... I didn't know what I thought she was going to be like, but not like this. 

"Yes, this is real Rose. We are real," I tried to convince her. I kissed her forehead and gave her hand a little squeeze. "See, we are real." 

She only nodded her head. 

"Do you know what happened?" I asked her. 

Rose frowned and looked like she was thinking really hard. "Yes, I think so. The doctors told me I was asleep for a very long time, although..." 

She became quiet after that. "Although what sweetie?" 

"It-it didn't feel like sleeping. Maybe-maybe in the beginning, but suddenly I heard voices and I wanted to wake up... I couldn't. I wanted to talk back but couldn't. I couldn't spe-" Rose started to ramble. She looked frantic and that was the last thing I wanted. 

Rose shouldn't be overwhelmed right now, there were already too many things going on before she went into a coma and things wouldn't be easy in the future too. Therefore, Rose should take it slow now. 

"Rose, Rose, don't think about it too much. Just get better first and from there you can handle the other things slowly, all right?" 

She sighed but agreed nonetheless. 

I smiled. I was just so happy she was awake and safe. Away from that cruel man, that still claimed to be her father when he was taken by the police. 

The fucking audacity. 

The only thing that still worried me was Rose behavior now. I didn't want to dwell on it too much, there was already so much more to be worried about. So, I would let the doctors handle this, her recovery. 


Rose p.o.v

Everything was weird. So, so weird. 

Being able to hear voices and respond to them was weird. Not seeing darkness was weird. Being able to move my limbs was weird. Seeing Max, Nathan, and, especially, Derek was weird. 

It was all too weird. 

I hated all the changes, that happened before I went back to my father. I hated being in my old life again. Let stand the changes that were happening to me right now.

I hated that I wanted to feel small, smaller, and smaller every time I heard a faint sound in that old, moldy house. Hated that the place I called home didn't feel like home. 

I used to love that old, moldy house. I loved my room, my safe haven. Where I could feel voluntarily small, and not have to feel small to be overlooked by my father. 

My father...

The man that had brought me to sleep. 

The man that made me feel weird, let me feel not like myself. 

I did not feel like myself. I couldn't feel small. I couldn't get into contact with my smaller side, with little Rose. 

I felt like she escaped through the hole in my head, the very hole my father made. It felt like a part of me was missing. 

Being in a coma wasn't fun, either. 

I was awake, but not at the same time. I was trapped in my own body. I wanted to cry, scream for help. Like I did in my head when father would punch me over and over, when he would scream at me how worthless I was, when he would ignore me for over a week because he couldn't stand the sight of me. 

All I could think of was I just wanna go home

I just wanna go home. 

I just wanna go home. 

IjustwannagohomeIjustwannagohomeIjustwannagohomeIjustwannagohome

Over and over again. 

There were no comfort items in a coma, there weren't hugs or holding hands to calm you down in a coma. There was nothing but yourself and the dark. 

I hated how I felt like this. Like so adultlike, like so dark. 

Being an adult sucks, it only comes with more hardships, with more darkness, with more bad, bad things. 

I wanted to forget. I wanted to slip into that space in my mind where I could feel carefree. But that space wasn't there anymore. It was just...me

I wanted to scream for help. Only I did it in my head. 

Not knowing how to do it in real life, not knowing how to say it, even though I know the words.

Derek, Nathan, and Max stayed until they were asked to leave. Next Ellis and Anna came in. Anna being just as jumpy and excited as Max. 

It was weird seeing them after I could only listen to them for so long. 

They were saying how glad they were I was awake, just like Nathan did. They were saying everything was going to be all right now. Nothing would ever happen to me. That I had them and they had me. 

But where were they when things got bad between Derek, Olivia, and me? 

Olivia. 

Are they still together? 

It pained my heart thinking about it. So, I didn't. 

I wanted to ask, but that too was too painful. So I kept quiet and listen to their comforting words, or well at least they thought they were comforting. 

I didn't know if everything was going to be all right. 

I am missing a piece of myself. How the hell am I supposed to find it in this big mess I am still in? 


Nathan p.o.v

After two weeks Rose could go home. Every day we visited her. It did us all good. The relaxing energy between all of us fueled back. Anna and Max were their happy selves again, Ellis enjoyed spending time with Derek again and I was just glad everything would go back like it was. 

The only thing that still itched me was Rose. Her spark was gone. 

I talked to Dr. Gracia about how Rose wasn't behaving like herself and she gave me a freighting response. 

She told me people who suffered from a severe illness or head injury can have PTSD. Of course, I got worried instantly because Rose had probably suffered from enough trauma caused by her father and it wouldn't surprise me if Derek caused some too. 

And now, now she had to deal with a whole new trauma. 

The only thing we could do, according to Dr. Gracia, was supporting her in any way possible, which also meant giving her space. Something I find hard to give when I want to help. 

Derek, Ellis, and I agreed that Rose would stay at my place. 

Last week I tried to turn one of the guest bedrooms as comfortable for Rose as possible. Derek got all of her things together and we thought it would be nice if the room resembles the big girl room from Derek's house. 

And now we were on our way to pick her up. I just hoped that her room at my place would help her to get the old Rose back. 

I just wanted some peace for the girl. 


A/N: I hope you liked the chapter. Please let me know what you think.

Thank you all so much for the votes and reads!

If you want to read ahead you can on my Patreon (see bio for link), chapters 36, 37, 38 are uploaded there. 

Thanks for reading and have a nice day!





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