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Tony couldn't cry. 

Couldn't grieve or complain. For it was Elle that was lost and not gone. He was happy that it wasn't six feet of dirt that separated them but the mere eyes of hers that would drop shut until it was time. Even if she woke up right now, looked at him dead in the eye and told him whatever would hurt the most, he would at least watch his heart shatter with glee. 

He thought he could fix this. Fix her surgically, with his own remodelled arc-reactor, go through another round of medicines to wake her up. Adrenaline shots, electroencephalograph, deep brain stimulation: anything worth the term, he had it done in clicks of trices. The capital was the last thing on his mind when it came to recovery, going all out to help.

'Tony?' 

The voice came from the entrance, groggy from sleep. He willed his gaze from Elle's resting face to another similar face, who smiled at him warmly. She was in sleep-casuals, her even blonde hair hanging haphazardly around her shoulders. Madeline Preece was no different from Elle, knowing that all her characteristics had been gathered from her mother.

'G'morning, Maddie,' he whispered gruffly. 'Sorry, I just dropped by. It's... three, I think. I can't tell if it's morning or evening anymore.'

'It's eight pm, darling.'

He would've never approximated the time difference. 'Ah. We're in the future now. Ironic.'

'I have got to give her trim,' Maddie told him, 'don't you think?'

Tony looked back at Elle, watching the gradual rise and fall of her chest. She hadn't moved an inch from where Maddie had let her rest six hours ago to wipe her body clean and those wide, blue eyes still remaining a hidden treasure from the world. He was robbed of his breath when he saw her thin lips part, barely, plopping close once again. Her dark hair had indeed grown out, the once even copper strands that laid over her forehead starting to fall into her enclosed eyes.

He shrugged. 'I like that it's long. She never lets it grow.'

'Lena's actually a blonde,' she laughed softly, shaking her head as if reminiscing something. 'She's dyed her hair so much, it got darker.'

'Heh,' he chuckled. 'Elle's a blonde.'

'Don't tell her I told you,' she hissed, narrowing her eyes to glare. 'She will slaughter me where I stand.'

'Scout's honour,' he promised teasingly, raising three fingers in the air with a sign of consent. Who was he kidding, Tony had never even gone to scouts. 

'How long will you stay, love?' She asked, her voice gentle. Not bearing in her heart that this man had broken into the house at two in the night to take refuge in her daughter's room.

Maddie had become another mother in due time. The moments in the home he wasn't around Elle, he was with her, watching over her as she poked around in her home-grown nursery and reared the horses at the stable. Their land had a tractor, a little chicken coop, a small patch of the Preece's vineyard, and even a sty that was home to a single piglet. She was a fellow multitasker, hovering between caring for the household and working her business on the estate. She was easy to get used to too, just like Elle, soon falling into a routine every time he arrived at the house.

Tony found it hard to imagine a woman as sophisticated as Elle growing up on a farm, riding horses and carrying out a grocer's sale every other week. Apparently, Elle had a horse. Of course, he wasn't an animal person. He wasn't even a people-person so animals were a whole another nether region he would go as far as holding up a crucifix to keep away. Turns out, it wasn't as bad. 

'Just a few hours,' he responded in a wistful tone. 'I missed her. They were playing this song at the party tonight... her favourite. It's always stuck in her head. What's that—'

Maddie laughed into her hand. 'The Nancy Sinatra one?'

'Yes! It goes like,' he began to hum the tune under his breath. 'Look into my eyes...'

'The Shadow Of Your Smile. Mhmm? Gosh, she loves that song.'

'I heard it everywhere,' Tony shook his head. 'I couldn't bear to stay a moment longer. I had to see her. By some luck of the draw, she opened her eyes for me.'

'Oh, darling,' Maddie grieved with him. 

'It's okay. She's okay, Maddie. She's just conked out.'

'Stay a little longer,' Maddie persuaded, as always. 'I'll cook breakfast. Your clothes are drying outside and I'll fetch them for you.'

'Thank you,' he sighed, not finding it in his words to refuse her. 

'You are my boy, Tony,' she smiled. 'Besides, I do love myself a friendly company.'

'Company, yeah,' he echoed. Is that all that he was? He had to work harder to get in line then. 

His eyes fell on the box of amenities on the dresser near the door. It didn't take a genius to know the stack of papers beside it was the bills that were in need of payment. He gave Maddie a meaningful look.

'Those came in today?'

She traced his gaze to the dresser and let out a sigh of realization. Her hands rubbed against her eyes in a sign of weariness. 'Yes, it did. Not prepared to face those figures.'

He knew he was going to be declined but the least he could do was ask. Again, this was a continuous procession that never failed to bid a debate. 'Can I get you—'

'No,' she answered in a heartbeat. Her blue eyes were stern and unnerving. 'You covered it last month. I can scratch it out of somewhere this time.'

'Madeline,' he tried.

'Eleanor has her savings,' she suggested quickly. 'I can handle it this time.'

Elle's savings had been exhausted for two months. Turns out that going cataleptic was expensive and even more so for the multitude of physicians that her mother had chosen to hire. Between caring for her business and her daughter, the money flows were depleted steadily.

'I'll cover it,' he suggested easily.

'That's not fair,' she sighed. 'You're already helping out with the house's outgo. At this point, it's like I'm using you.'

'I'm a pure-bred philanthropist,' he chuckled, 'I honestly can't help it. I'm terrified that someday I'll be a stranger to this home.'

'Oh, don't be daft. I simply can't accept it,' she refused him in a soft whisper. 'And the money... it isn't right. Elle would be furious.'

'I'm showing good faith then. To my in-law.' He let a wry smile twist on his lips.

'I love you already, dear, good faith is behind us,' she laughed, turning to leave with a gradual acceptance. 'Get some rest, all right? I'll see you in the morning.'

'Yep, nighty-night.'

With that, he would be alone once again. Without the resting girl trying to talk him to sleep like every other night when they had shared the same roof for a few years. He found himself dragging the loveseat from the edge of the room and towards Elle's side, shakily reaching over to catch her hand between his. He held it flat between his palms, bringing it to his lips and holding it there. 

It was warm, thin, indented with the same, five-hundred-and-six creases and he clutched at her weary fingers anyway like it was the only thing he wanted to feel. She had bitten nails, skin frayed at the bed; the manifested signs of anxiety.  This was the same hand that reassured him of his ideas, fears and thoughts. The hand that had saved him from the golden stream of death. 

In a voice that he had reserved for her, the calm and comforting tone, he began to talk. Soft, carefully low, because he read about the sensitivity of torpid patients. Anything could trigger anything, according to some books, so he had to keep in mind the restrictions.

'Despite it being day one-hundred and twenty-two, this feels uncomfortable,' he said, letting out a breathy chuckle. 'But in a way, convenient. Rhodey thinks I need help but I beg to differ. I've got you—my sleeping therapist.'

No answer. As always, her low breathing filled the void.

'Elle?' He gulped a building sob. 'Can you hear me?'

More breathing. Well, he had tried.

'And on that front, it's actually been a pretty shitty day. I'm running on caffeine—that's not new—and I think I have a concussion because I might have run into a passenger flight on my way here,' he sighed, propping a hand under his chin. 'I had a vegan steak for lunch. Can you believe that, babe? It's that time of the decade again. These people need to take a hike, y'know? Eat your green shit or starve. Jesus. Vegan steak, my ass.'

He blew into her hand to warm it up, rubbing on it gently. 'I swear, I'm sending you back to sleep if you think of restoring us to herbivores.' He laughed to himself. 'We're more evolved than that. We created the wheel, discovered fire, and Yaeger tore through the sound barrier; all for us to turn back to what, apes?'

He sighed, kissing her knuckles. 'I know, I know. Respect all ideologies. I get it, Ellie. Oh, hey. You think I should buy a yacht?'

He knit his eyebrows together. 'I would have definitely gotten smacked for that. Probably something along the lines of "losing my marbles" or "having three already". Which, I will not concede to and do it anyway. The point is, I have an idea.'

'I want to make this boat fly,' he grinned. 'Just like in that book you read. The Wreck of the Zephyr, is it? I know you think I called it baloney when I didn't listen but, I did. I listen, see? And that is actually kind of brilliant. This dude is way ahead of his time.'

'A propulsion system that goes from underwater to on the water to in the sky without changing gears. It's mapped out, Elle. I have it in my head and I don't even need to write it down. Because I know I won't forget it.'

'I'll have it done, asap. Before you wake up at least,' he shook his head. 'Which will be soon. I know it is because I pride myself in the vision that is right and what is right is you waking up.'

At this point, he was convincing himself rather than talk about vitalities. Skinship seemed to help as he gripped her slender hand tighter.

 'You will heal,' he promised. 'That is no obstacle for you because you are one of the fiercest females I've met. The real wound is—I prize from experience—knowing that I did this to you.'

His voice cracked. 'Someone you trusted with your fears and strengths. Someone you cared about to sacrifice yourself for the greater good. I'm scared that that's the part you won't shake when you wake up. The disloyalty and the failure to uphold my promise.'

'I don't want to belabour myself,' he sniffed slowly. 'I mean, the prospect is certain. You are going to come back to me; to us. And I,' he trailed off, chewing his lip. His face relaxed from worried to gentle, smiling quietly. A finger reached out to push a few strands of her hair out of her eyes. 

'I am going to build a flying boat.'

∞

[ a few people wanted to know what happened when Elle was asleep and how things may have unfolded. well, this is my take on it. when Tony says he's going to build a flying boat for Elle, he's speaking of the hopeless. sort of like a metaphor. this really doesn't lie in his hands anymore so he's really reaching for anything to convince himself. it a hit a nerve when I tried to write this, angst is something i am terrible at and you can see it in this writing. jeez, i think i should just take this down after a while. ]

'EDITED'