TONY

THREE YEARS AGO

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She was easy to spot among the sea of faces. Simply because she was hard to keep clandestine in the quiet rivers of humanity. A single breath was all it took for his world to spin haywire and off its axis. It was maddening how vulnerable he could be in the presence of a mere person, yet satisfied that he was leaving no holes bared.

Elle stood in line at the check-in desk with a single suitcase at her feet, no carry-on bags except her passport and a small purse. It disturbed to see her take nothing from her place of stay, just the little things that were left untouched by the collision and wreckage. Perhaps that's why she was dressed more different than usual. She wore simple jeans, a pale tee and jacket that was frayed at the ends. He picked it up as borrowed since Elle was kind of person who never wore the same thing twice.

It was his fault. 

Doom was upon them. The Avengers initiative, the one he thought that had been scraped away, was reawakened and on emergency gathered in. Without reimbursements, Tony already knew what he had in line. With an incident on a scale as large as that, he could collectively lose a lot. And nobody told him how painful it would be to go from lovers to strangers.

Tony watched her snap out of her trance and train her gaze on the phone in her hand. To watch her reaction was like having every ounce of breath knocked out of his chest and feeling the world itself stop. Nobody impelled around him except her, her light lips lifting to a smile of—adoration? Relief? Satisfaction?

Hopefully, it was all of the above. With a slow shake of her head, she answered it quietly. From where he stood, he watched her open her mouth to speak. An air of mischief overcame her smile, flopping it close again. Tony willed his mouth shut, too. Mirroring her smile and defying her expectations of him speaking first. His amusement heightened when he heard her breathless chuckle from the other end, breaking the silence.

'Tony,' her voice was delicate and melodious, 'glad you had the time to call.'

'Hi,' he thought of something witty to say but as usual, his repartee functions seemed to scramble themselves every time she spoke. 

'I'm glad that you're glad.'

He watched discomfort and hurt bloom in the fall of her smile, chewing her cheeks to conceal it. She looked away from her feet to somewhere near where he stood, the mediocre lights causing him to see the glossiness in the dusky cerulean eyes. It was as if the iron vice on his chest was tightening with her every change of emotion, bobbing his head past the sea of people to see her more clearly.

'I'm not,' she tried to continue, her voice not betraying her of the sadness in her features. Her teeth caught her lips before she let out a snuffle, taking in weak inhale.

'Did,' she blurted and quickly fought out the words, 'did we really never stand a chance?'

There was a list of things in life that Tony wanted to give up but Elle was never on it. But now as he watched Elle slip away in consequence, he realized how selfish it was to let go only to keep her safe. He really didn't know how to answer to that question, a loud exhale leaving his lips as if deflating him of the tension.

'Hey,' she whispered again as if coercing him to talk. 'I am not cross, love. Just, not ready to accept the change again.'

She talked like she discerned what she was saying. How was she doing that when she looked like she was ready to cry on her knees? Once again, the vice on his chest pinched his breaths.

A loud announcement blared through the public address system, alerting them both of their stances. As Elle lifted her head to acknowledge the nasal-mouthed, formal address, she blinked and listened to the call. Of course, she had found out. Tony sighed into the phone, rubbing a hand down his face in irritation. Of all the things that could have ratted him out, it had to be the one that he had not regarded down on his agenda.

'You're here,' she muttered, spinning on her heels to search the moving crowds. She inclined and bent to scrutinise the blurry masses and tip-toeing every now and then with intent. Her eyes were hopeful, the hurt vanished in trices and eager to find her stranger in the bleary company.

'I had to see you,' he mumbled into the phone, not recognizing his own voice. So dull and muffled.

'Then, let's—'

Her reply halted when she found him where he stood. It was like watching space and time become one finite concept and merge into the tiniest speck and explode in front of him. He was scared to look away because if he did, he would have found himself at the mercy of questioning if this was really the right way to go about it.

Elle smiled. It was one of eager hilarity and good anticipation. She left the line in a heartbeat, dragging the suitcase with her and gaining speed as she neared him. Before she leapt to give him a generous hug, her muscles tensed and she recoiled back to a stop. She did not have the liberty to receive him as such anymore and in the mire of hesitation, Tony pocketed his fists awkwardly. She mirrored his motions.

'How did you know...' she shut her eyes in realization, a smile lifting on her lips again. 'Rhodey.'

'Yeah,' he breathed out. 'Quick tip, don't ever trust him with secrets again.'

'Oh,' she nodded. 'Well, he freed me from the embarrassment.'

This was not he was supposed to say. This was not what he thought would happen. So frankly, he was unable to formulate a vivacious answer to match her dexterity. There was so much he wanted to say, he really would but in all honesty, it felt stupid. Reckless to say what he was thinking—it didn't feel like his method of operation.

'Do you really have nothing to say to me?' She asked simply, looking from underneath her thick fringe of lashes. It didn't curtail the imminent upset that was laced in them, her jaw hardening when he didn't reply. He couldn't, he was so focused on watching hers.

'When do you leave?'

Disappointment flooded her features. Her light eyes eclipsed like the sea before a storm, her lips flattening against each other in a state of a letdown. She looked away with gritted teeth, running a distressed hand underneath the dark tresses that flopped over her forehead.

'Unbelievable,' she murmured, turning on her feet to storm away in the direction she had approached him. It happened so quick, Tony had to shake himself out of it and march after her. He ducked his head low against the baseball cap that rested over his head and caught up to her as she reached the back of the line.

'Sorry, that was really stupid,' he sought out as she continued to yield lasers into the tiling. 'I, really, came to see you.'

'You said that,' she bit out, her voice still soft. Not attracting attention.

'I did,' he accepted dumbly and she gave him a dirty look, 'because I wanted to—' Tell you that I don't want you to go. Words failed him when she watched him earnestly, willing him to say it out loud. He swallowed when he saw her continue to regard him intently, no smiles and all serious.

'Look, I just,' he tried again, 'this wasn't something I could say over the phone because I know I made the choice. I was a jerk but there was no way around because—'

'Let me stop you there,' she raised a hand with a glare evident in her face. 'If you say because again, I will punch you in your gonads.'

He rounded his lips to give out a deeper exhale, unafraid of her threat. She turned away to face the front and pushing the hair behind her shoulders. God, that was ridiculous to find attractive.

'Not my modus operandi,' he whispered to no one, trying to shake himself out of it. This was going to give him a brain haemorrhage if he wasn't going to spit it out. He was usually unafraid of confrontation but this mere feeling was making him feel like walking through the safest fire alight.

The line moved gradually, closing in on the check-in counter. They were a couple away from her turn and once again, Tony buckled up the courage to let it out.

'You have nothing left, I get it,' he murmured, phrasing it properly this time. 'Roof? Gone. Job? Gone—'

'What is the purpose of this, again?' She retorted dryly.

'Right,' he shook his head. 'Point is: things change. Not you. Not me. Not—definitely, not me. I mean, I can't. It's like, this gimmick that just... god.'

'You keep thinking,' she nodded at him with a sarcastic smile, walking forward to the counter. Despite the irritation, she greeted the concierge with a tight smile and slid her passport. Tony placed a hand over hers, walking in front of her to desist her actions. Her light eyes widened in obvious embarrassment, trying to step away.

'Not the time, Tony.'

'Wait, I just have to say this,' he whispered. He glanced over her shoulder at the held-up queue with an apologetic smile, pointing at her.

'Two minutes, folks. I swear.'

People mumbled and gasped upon realizing who it really was, soft squeals and whispers all around them. He could really use some privacy but thanks to his scrambled conscious, he was unable to give a quicker answer.

'I said things change but not us,' he told her, his voice and eyes brimming with honesty and earnest. 'You have nothing left and that's fine. You could bet your last penny on something so much more ridiculous but, let it be me. That may have sounded wrong and— damn it, you get what I mean.'

Elle smiled softly, radiating nothing but the charm that had him enthralled. His shadow ghosted over her face, her light skim seeming few shades darker. The world fell away to silence and all he could hear was the slow breaths that was leaving her parted lips. He willed his eyes smaller, squeezing her hands between his large ones.

'So, don't go,' he forced out with a sigh. 'Stay here. With me?'

'With you?' She asked mildly, confused.

'Yes,' he pressed, lurching forward with a laugh of his own. 'With me. Drive me insane, twenty-four by seven, with your accentive, adjective, ardent talks which I find rather adorable.'

She laughed breathily.

'I—I'll run around posting applications for your next gig with you,' he added, searching for the next best thing that struck his mind. 'Stay up when you can't sleep. Share a coffee anytime you want. I really can't think of anything else to—make this seem... romantic? I dunno, closet space?'

'Tony.'

'Yeah, whatsit—Max Mara, Chanel, LV. Honey, I'll splurge. Anything you want. Hats. Boots. You like boots?'

She laughed again, shaking her head. 'You're bribing now.'

'Stay with me,' he whispered. 'I can't promise you all my time but, just bear with me.'

'God, Tony,' she chuckled, not releasing her hand from his to skim the side of his face softly. He leaned into it wordlessly.

'I don't believe you to do any of that but yes,' she accepted with a gratified smile. 'I will.'

And that was all it took to arrest his heart. He was spellbound, wanting her to feel different about being with him. Feel safer and trusted. Somewhere things changed but the two of them.

'I'll give you the world,' he vowed, for real. 

His face warmed with delight, a breathless grin breaking out on his face. Before he leaned in to press his lips against hers, he watched his surroundings, He had completely forgotten about the audience and the little display they had been immersed into. He made a face of regret, squinting at her with a pout. Elle blinked at him and immediately discerned what was going on.

'If my name comes up on the news again, I'll kill you,' she hissed at him.

'Here,' he ripped the cap off his head and hooked it over hers. He placed it nice and low, moving his jacket to a side and she pushed him away when he tried to fit her between the space.

'Are you insane?' She protested.

'Okay, yeah, that was stupid,' he nodded, flattening back his coat. 'Make a run for it?'

Her teeth gleamed with the onset of a challenge, fisting a hand over the trolley and lifting it up. 'Loser pays up.'

'Loser abides by demands of the winner,' he smirked.

Elle looked sideways with a quick thought, throwing him one last cheeky smile before pushing past the crowds and leaving him behind. She held up a backwards middle-finger as she sprinted, her loud laughter disappearing into the masses.

Tony curtseyed to the crowds that parted as he ran behind her, hooking the blue-hued shades back over his nose and continued to push past the clicking cameras which Elle had effectively ducked away from. By the time he had reached the entrance, he spotted her back still running and throwing a look over his shoulder with another laugh. He was a meter away, catching her by the waist and yanking her back. Tony took this as a chance to speed faster, overtaking her with ease.

'Hey!' She yelled. 'That's against the rules!'

'I'm a Gemini!'

He had his car parked in the no-parking zone, keying it awake from a few meters behind. Elle huffed and puffed just like in the fairytale, lugging her trolley and breathing hard. She dragged it to a stop and placed her hands over her knees, taking in lungfuls.

Ahead, the sky was rose and filling the shoals of clouds with rich pink and magenta, flurrying out golden petals of the rising sun. The intensity of the azure overhead resembled the shade of Elle's eyes at the very moment, warming his heart and the day.

'I,' she breathed out, 'won. Precepts-wise.'

'Uh uh,' he waggled a finger, completely at ease but respiring slower than she did. 'Stick those precepts up your ass, Preece. I always win.'

'Utter dickhead,' she grumbled.

With zero withholding, he inclined forward and catching her waist in his arm. His breaths waned into softness when she crept closer to wrap around his shoulders. Her skinship felt beguiling when a hand tread past his jaw and pulling him in for a delicate kiss. His body melted into hers and relented when she played with the hair at the back of his head. He smiled softly when she tended back, resting her nose underneath his eyes in bliss.

'Gonna give an inkling,' he murmured affectionately, 'have I ever told you I love you?'

A beat passed. Her protests came in hot, confusing him. She leant away, palming her eyes in frustration.

'No! No, oh no, come on, Tony!'

He blinked. 'Not what I had in mind.'

'You can't just— just—oh my god!' He was at the brink of amusement when she stomped further away, running her hands into her hair as she did when she was tensed. 'I don't even smell that good right now.'

'You know, you're putting your teeth on edge. Just say it back.'

'I wanted it to be distinctive,' she complained, pushing on his shoulder when he tried to wrap his arms around her. 'Could you not hold it until we found ourselves in a situation where neither of us was sweating or hurrying?'

He laughed through his nose. 'Well, I do. I—'

'No, please,' she lamented with a quiet huff of breath. 'Why must you insist on acting with your gut morality?'

'Wow, you figure me out like no one else,' he muttered, momentarily mystified. 'I should carry a journal around you.'

'Tony.'

'Okay,' he mumbled. 'But, I do love you.'

Her glare slackened to a breath-taking smile, a hand gliding over his cheek and into his hair. If a moment would last forever, he wanted it to be this one. Her mere smile was making the universe seem small and attainable, something he had been so afraid of. The vastness.

'I love you too,' she grinned and he folded his lips into his teeth to contain a laugh.

'You said it,' he remarked, smiling away. 'You said it!'

'I did,' she nodded sadly. 'Not exactly where I had in mind.'

'You and me,' he mentioned, pressing her head into his chest and fitting his chin over it. 'That's all that matters right now.'

∞

𝐒𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐖𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄 𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐏𝐀𝐂𝐈𝐅𝐈𝐂 𝐎𝐂𝐄𝐀𝐍

TONY

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A mechanical voice pulled him out of his reverie, blinking his borderline sleepiness away. He shook his head to wad off insomnia, badly wanting the suit to be off so he could scrub the sleep out of his eyes.

'James Rhodes is on the line, sir.' 

To Tony, worn-out didn't have a precise section in his vocabulary. For him, it was when he would like to transitorily disjoint the very psyche that tied his sanity together and take a walk to a soul-zen or whatever. Currently, his brain was running on five per cent battery and with Elle's condition, tracking Stane and black market hoo-ha, he was positive flying in his suit ten thousand feet above the vast Pacific ocean was something that should be forbidden unless you had a death wish. Maybe he did.

The death wish was affirmed when he saw the familiar face of his best buddy flash across the hologram behind his mask, his suit going on auto-pilot momentarily. He tried not to sound like the deadbeat self - that didn't go as planned.

'Hey-lo?' A yawn dragged out without his notice.

'Tony, where the hell are you?' A beat later, he grunted out when he didn't respond. 'What's that noise?'

'Oh, just a few friendly seagulls,' Tony mused when as he overlooked a flock of yellow-tailed birds wider than the wingspan of his own suit, glide past the aquamarine waves with large caws. It was as if the ocean was respiring in a big lopsided bowl - rising and falling with balanced expertise. He knew Elle loved the ocean, given he'd caught her staring out the living room window and into open seas, a smile on her lips like she had sprouted fins of her own to swimming between the waves.

His AI was quick to come to his aid and correct his statement. 'Short-tailed albatross. Beautiful Pacific birds who migrate at this time of year.'

'Specifics,' he clucked his tongue at being corrected. 'They're giant birds.'

'I don't care about the stupid birds, Tony,' Rhodey snapped out. He heard his buddy draw in a calming breath before he could get offensive, ready to explain himself. 'Sorry. It's a real shithole around here.'

'The helicarrier giving you a hard time?' Tony had sent out a notice to Director Fury about Rhodey and Elle taking refuge on the SHIELD helicarrier till he was done with his side of the business since it was the only place he trusted Elle to be safe at. They had planned an air pickup through the Quinjet but seeing Rhodey's response to the whole situation, it rubbed Toy the wrong way.

'We're still in the hospital. I've been living off on instant noodles for three days and my team's been hitting me up like crazy—'

'—y'know they launched the new ghost pepper noodles? One million units on the SHU meter. Hey, Rhodey, d'you mind grabbing me—'

He felt the true extent of irritation in Rhodey's next words. 'Yes, Tony, I do mind. Seriously man, priorities.'

'Okay,' Tony drawled out in objection. He truly wanted to be in Rhodey's shoes at that moment: where Elle was and slaving away with ready-to-eat noodles. 'Why aren't you on board, yet?'

'Because Elle's been in the ICU for twelve hours now,' Rhodey shared in an ominous voice. 'Happy took the jet with Hill. Said he was setting up your garage on the helicarrier. What's that all about?'

The latter words of Rhodey's had melted away into silence. It was as if one of his unspeakable nightmares was being puppeteered in front of him, Elle being the protagonist of it all. In a span of two weeks, his life had been a hurricane of ordeals and ideas, not that he wasn't excited about pushing himself to the limits but that he had to trip down and let someone else get the bruises. Zeke Stane—that son of a bitch was the core of his nightmare, the devil he had to beat since his unannounced arrival. 

Fear twisted his gut with a sharp-edged knife, his breaths getting ragged. He was unable to make out words, something lurching in his trachea and lodging an unpoppable bubble. Jesus fucking Christ, if he was having a panic attack miles above sea level, he was in for a roguish landing on Chinese soil.

'Tony,' Rhodey said when he heard no sounds except harsh breaths, worrying his best friend. He shared some advising words over the line. 'Tony, she's okay. She's under rehab. As of now, no visitors.'

Tony swallowed down the thickness that blocked his speech, managing to choke out a few terms. 'What'd the doc say?'  

'I got the reports a few minutes ago,' he said, sharing every bit of information from the first. He heard the sharp gnashing of laminated papers and the Rhodey spoke up again. 'She didn't bleed out, go into a coma, suffer brain damage or die in the procedure,' Rhodey almost heard Tony roll his eyes, 'the bad news is that she has this alien contraption buried in her chest that's the only thing keeping her alive.'

Tony didn't know he had on a grin of relief as he finally focused on the horizon ahead of him, the bleeding rays of the sun finally coming into its full edifice. The curvature of his planet was so perfect, the atmosphere he floated upon had bounced of radiant rainbows and the dense air around him despite the impasse, calming the raging fire in him. 

The colour of the ocean seemed to spark the resemblance to a special colour of eyes that reminded. He would steal the stars as compensation to see her, alive and breathing, right then; to see those haunting cerulean irises that caught him in awe the first time he had laid eyes on her.

'It kept me alive, long enough to heal,' he replied breathily, entranced by the sight in front of him, How lucky was he, unlike his other Avenger compatriots, to have a suit that gifted him with the ability of flight and have him fly so high that no one could see his altering sentiments. 

'It'll keep her alive, too.'

'I'm not wild about using a high-tech band-aid to heal her, Tony,' Rhodey confessed with a heavy heart. How much ever he wanted to shroud it from a friend who only needed compelling words. 'What if it acts up?'

'Temporary measures, Rhodey,' he bit out. 'A substitute method aside from, I don't know, letting her die?'

'You're talking about merging man and machine,' Rhodey stressed. At the uttering of the sentence, both of them let out a chuckle since it was their stances. They protected the world from threats in their suit of armour—who were they to judge?

'Now, I've heard of that before,' Tony was the first to approach it. Shaking his head, his next matters concerned Elle. 'So, when's the jet coming in?'

'Another hour,' he sighed in response. 'We have to wheel her in. And I was going to ask, Happy said something about an Ed Gross? Care to explain...?'

'He's a superhero collector,' Tony said like it was the most normal thing in the world. 'Costumes, masks—stuff like that. He had Cap's old helmet bid off for twelve grand. Figured if anyone could get retro Stark tech into the black market, it'd be him. And FYI, I just sold it off.'

'So what, you're going to leak it and wait?'

'Precisely,' he piqued. 'That tracker is only so discreet. But once it's online, he's in a cul-de-sac. It's all about contact these days.'

'Or so I've been told,' Rhodey mused. 'Once I get Elle on the carrier, I'm taking War Machine back to the base. You'll be there for her, right?'

'Give or take few hours,' he chipped in, in all sheepishness. Before he could beat himself up for not being by Elle's side for the life-or-death procedure, he piped up. 'The suit isn't a jet pack.'

'Says Iron Man,' Rhodey scoffed. 'I've got the Secretary of State all over my ass for going MIA for the past three days. You're going to—'

'I got you covered. I owe you, buddy.'

'You owe me a lot more,' Rhodey said in all wittiness. Tony knew the colonel had a soft spot for Elle, and that he putting his job in line just so that he could be by her side. He was going so far as keeping her health in check. 'But this one's for the lady.'

'Thanks, Rhodey.'

'It's what we do, pal. Give and take.'

∞

[ w/n: ack, i can't deal. this friendship is so underrated, i feel like I've done some justice with it. how was this one? ]

[ update (17.01.2020): edited. ]