On the surface

Bee paced silently alongside Nate in the direction of the guest house. Everything was silent apart from his phone buzzing loudly in his pocket. She was sick to her stomach and had promised herself not to talk to him again but that didn't make her any less intrigued by what had happened to him. She turned her eyes in his direction and he stared right back at her.


"Listen—" he said and stopped walking once they were away from the house. "I know you're probably not gonna believe this, but I didn't know about your mom."


"I don't want to talk about that." She said and continued walking. He stayed still and she turned around keeping a fair amount of distance between them. "Believe it or not our friendship is one of the happiest memories I've had from growing up, or was. But I'm fine with pretending it never happened. Just leave it at that."


"I don't believe that." He stated. "If it were then how come you just vanished?"


"Because my mom was sick. And I didn't know how to deal with everything, Nate. I was fifteen." It seemed like he was completely oblivious to her experience. "I was leaving everything I knew behind. And I didn't know how to cope with everything."


"You could've just replied." He said dryly. "And now having the nerve to come back here and not even reach out?"


"And I'm glad I didn't. Because the person you've turned into has nothing to do with the one I left behind." She could feel her cheeks getting hotter. "I've heard so much bad stuff about you these past week. It's almost like—"


"Like?"


"Like you turned into the person you hated the most." She said and by then she could tell her eyes were starting to fill up with tears. She couldn't help being so sensitive and she hated it. She felt like everyone was able to hide behind some mask yet she was incapable. Everything she felt emerged to the surface so quickly.


"Don't act like you know me. You don't know what I've been through these past few years."


"And I'm sorry I don't ." She said. "I really am. I read everything you sent me. But I was sad. I was jealous of everyone that got to stay here while I had to leave and—"


They both went quiet looking at each other. There were so many unspoken things between them. As much as she'd promised herself not to talk to him again she couldn't help but breaking it.


"Nate—" she reached for his hand but the minute they touched he pulled it back. She looked down feeling embarrassed to have gotten carried away. "Sorry." She hated herself immediately for apologizing.


He held her wrist gently and she looked up. He ran his hand over her arm to the base of her neck.


"I can't believe it's you." She said holding still. His eyes looked so dark she could almost see the lights of the house reflected on them. While she looked into them she had the feeling she was searching for something in them. A trace of hope maybe.


"Me neither." His phone buzzed again loudly making her snap back to reality. "I need to leave."


-


Nate walked out of the house and got in his car. He had to sit there for a couple of minutes trying to get himself together after what had just happened. He felt uncomfortable in his own skin. She'd screwed the mindset he needed to do what he was about to do.


He started driving with his GPS. After all he was going out of town to pay someone a visit. He needed to detach himself of what he was feeling but he couldn't help but bringing back the memories of his childhood. Of growing up alongside Bee. Of the promises they'd made. Of the games they played. Of their first kiss.


"Shit." He said. She'd fucked everything up. "Shit." He punched the wheel and tried to calm himself. But her words kept repeating themselves inside his head.
Once he arrived to his destination he reached his glove compartment and poured some Purell in his hands.


He parked his car under a tree near the entrance of the building and he broke in meticulously to the apartment on the second floor.
He walked into the dark living room that smelled like sweat and air freshener. He looked around pacing around the carpeted floor before sitting on the leather armchair of the living room.


There he waited for the owner of the apartment to return.

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