Invincible

In the few seconds Bee thought Nate had died she'd almost wished she'd died with him. She crawled over broken glass and slid open her arms to get to him, to feel his breath emanating from his blood covered face. That was the last impression of him she'd had. So she had to see him again. Just to know he was okay. Just to wipe that image away from her head and stop the nightmares.


The day she got released from the hospital she got dressed and asked her dad to get the car while she paid him a visit. His room was down the same hall as hers, exactly 23 rooms away.
The second after knocking on the door she regretted it. But Marsha opened the door almost immediately. Her expression shifted the minute she saw Bee.


"Hi," Bee greeted her.


"Are you leaving already?"


"Yes." She said. "I just wanted to see Nate before I did if that's okay."


"Sure, come on in. I'll go get some coffee."


She nodded and walked in. The room had flowers and balloons and cards over the table. She could see them before even catching sight of him. She wondered about their classmates and the people who knew him. Could they genuinely care for him?


Nate was lying in the hospital bed, which's upper half was bent 45 degrees. His leg had a cast on it and he was wearing a robe similar like the one she'd just taken off. Aside from that he looked very different to how she did. The left side of his face was bruised and had some bandages on it, so were his arms. He was painful to look at but he was alive. She breathed out in relief as she saw him. She stepped closer to him to take a better look at his face. He sat up straight and grimaced in pain as he did.


"Don't —"


"I'm fine." He said. She was scared he'd actually attempt to get up so she went closer as he sat on the edge of the bed. The sun was setting and the blinds were open, letting a ray of sunlight inside. She caught a glimpse of his hazel eyes in the sun before he pulled her in for a hug. It was so unexpected that she stood still for a second. But she felt the warmth of his skin against hers. He was okay. She leaned her head against his chest and shut her eyes closed tightly for a second. She felt scared, tired and hopeful all at the same time.


He pulled back enough to take a look at her face. He ran his thumb lightly over the bandage on her forehead and examined her face for a second.


"I did this." He said in a low voice. She took a couple of steps back and wiped her eyes trying to dry the tears she hadn't let out yet. "I didn't think you'd come." He said. "I wanted to—"


"I know." She cut him off. She didn't want to hear that he attempted to see her. "Me neither. But the last time I saw you you looked like Carrie. And I keep having nightmares about it." She looked down and cleared her throat. "So I had to see you again. So maybe they'll stop." She fell quiet a couple of seconds.


"I'm having nightmares too." He admitted as he leaned his palms against the mattress. He looked enormous for the bed.
She breathed out and crossed her arms over her chest.


"I'm sorry, Bee." His voice was slightly hoarse. Probably from the AC or the tubes they'd had to shove down his throat while driving him to the hospital. "What I did was stupid and reckless and —"


"I asked you to stop a million times." She interrupted him. "But you didn't, it's almost like you did it on purpose. It's almost like you wanted to —" Die. But she couldn't bring herself to say it.


He shook his head. "I never meant to lose control by your side."


"You mean you wanted to do it alone?"


"I don't know what happened" He said. "My mind feels like fog."


"Fog." She repeated in disbelief. "You know, that kind of makes it worse. Because I remember everything clearly. And the whole thing was so unnecessary." She'd promised herself not to get into that conversation but got carried away by the fact that he wouldn't even want to admit his blame by pretending he didn't remember what happened. "The fact that you acted the way you did and all these people are still sending you balloons and flowers like you're some sort of war hero is just unbelievable— Everyone saw you. Everyone saw you dragging me to your car shitfaced. And nobody did anything to stop it. Somehow they're even saying it was my fault."


"Who cares what people say, Bee?" His voice became harder. "I know I fucked up. Believe me. I lost my chances of a football scholarship, wrecked my car, my entire family hates me right now."


She fell quiet for a couple of seconds as she realized how angry Cal Jacobs must have been at his son and how scary he could be when he was.


"My point is," She continued. "You need to stop pretending you're not responsible for the shit that you do. Everything you told me that night, nothing aligns with what people think of you. Nobody thinks you have a conscience. Nobody thinks you feel bad over anything. They see you as invincible only because they fear you." She stopped herself for a second and then added. "And fear is not the foundation of love, Nate."


"You hate me as well, don't you?" He asked as he looked down at the bandages covering her forearms.


She moved her eyes towards the wall behind him and said. "I've tried. But I really can't." The memory of his face after the accident flashed in her mind. "Because for some fucked up reason when I look at you I still see my best friend. And honestly, I feel worried for him."


His expression softened slightly. He pressed his lips together and clenched his jaw, seemingly struggling to get out what he was about to say next. "Then stay." She looked at him in confusion. "Or come back tomorrow." He added. "Please."


Bee shook her head. "That doesn't mean I can stand to be around you right now." How could she? After what'd happened. "I have to go."


This chapter was really difficult to write. I hope it shows how confused Bee feels regarding Nate. Personally I think she's even too kind. What do you think? Remember to comment or vote to keep the story going 🖤

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