Author's note: so i kinda freaked out and changed this chapter completely except for the beginning. also split it into two. sorry about that. pls do read it again as it's a lot better now. will be posting the next part tomorrow. love 🖤

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Lately Nate had been feeling like there were two separate versions of himself. He knew he'd have to choose which one to embrace eventually. Bee was pulling him strongly into a direction he never thought he'd consider. He just hadn't decided if the appeal of that version relied on itself of on the fact that she'd be by his side.

When she texted him that night he felt a wave of relief wash over his body. He got up from the sofa of his friend's house and grabbed his hoodie from the floor.

can i come over?

"Where are you going bro?" The basement was dimly lit and smelt of a nauseating mixture of sweat and weed.

"Home." He said shortly as he replied to Bee.

yeah. what happened?
do you need me to come get you?

Her answer appeared quickly on the screen.

no, its fine
be there in 15

"Man Nate is catching some pussy." Roy said as he slid his hoodie over his head.

"Are you and Maddy back together?" Another boy from St. Mary's asked.

"As if Maddy's the only girl I fuck with." He replied.

"Who is it?" Nate stepped away from the sofa they were all sitting on.

"It's that girl he almost killed, bro." Troy said. The comment made him feel overwhelmed with anger. He spun around in his heels and walked back up to the group of boys. There was not a single trace of humor in his face.

His friends all fell quiet as he realized he wasn't fucking around anymore. He approached his friend from behind and lowered himself to get closer to him as he leaned his elbows on the backrest of the couch.

"Dude, I was joking." Troy said trying to excuse himself.

"I know man," He said as a cynical smile spread across his face. "You know I like you. I think you're pretty fucking stupid and that's why you make us all laugh. But here's the thing, if you wanna keep making jokes just make sure you don't ever talk about her, we cool?"

"We cool, Nate. Sorry bro." He patted Troy's chest with his hand. It was supposed to be a friendly pat but he applied a little more strength than necessary, just to remind him who the fuck was in charge.

As he walked out of the basement and outside of the house he breathed in the fresh air gladly. Being surrounded by his friends used to make him feel powerful, even though he knew most of them would never succeed in life. He always knew he was the leader. But lately he'd been aspiring for bigger and better things.

He wanted to leave everything he knew behind.

When he got to his house he waited for Bee inside his truck. The disgusting smell of the room had impregnated all over his clothes but he wouldn't have time to shower before she got there. He scrolled through the tens of unread conversations he'd accumulated in the past few hours. He stopped on a particular one and opened it.

did you fall asleep?
hope you're dreaming of me

He looked at it for a few seconds but didn't reply. He silenced his phone as he saw Bee getting off her bike. He opened the door and got out.

She left her bike on the grass of his front lawn and walked in his direction. He felt like he'd been living for those moments, when they were finally alone.

"Is everything okay?" He asked her.

"Yeah." She said but she seemed a little off that night. He couldn't really tell what it was. "I just didn't want to spend the night alone."

He nodded. He reached for her backpack and hung it over his shoulder before walking into his house. Everything was silent so his parents were probably asleep. They went upstairs and into his room. She paced silently around the bed as he left her bag over the chair.

When she turned to him he noticed a different look in her eyes, as if she were nervous or hesitant. She took a couple of steps closer to him and placed her palms against his chest. Her delicate arms wrapped around his neck as she bit her bottom lip.

As if they'd developed their own secret language, he could sometimes anticipate how she was feeling. What days she'd kiss him as soon as they were alone and what days she'd just fall asleep talking to him.

She raised her heels and he leaned down to kiss her. He grabbed her butt through the thin fabric of her shorts. He felt her tongue slide gently over his lips and he made an effort to pull back.

"I need to shower." He said with his forehead against hers.

"Why?" She asked. "Where were you?"

He saw it in her eyes that she feared he'd been with another girl. If that made her value him more then so be it. She was the one who had rejected him at the beginning.

"I just have to." He answered simply. "Do you wanna join me?"

She nodded and his heart started to race inside his chest. He pulled back slightly and removed his hoodie over his head. Afterwards he slid off his pants. Her eyes ran over his nearly naked body. He found it amusing how she always admired him like it was the first time she ever saw him.

"What are you waiting for?" He asked. "Clothes off."