For the Night

Author's note: 7k reads!! Thanks to all you who've been reading and supporting the story. And also sorry about the absence. I've been super busy the past couple of weeks. Anyway I hope you enjoy it 🧡 would love to hear from you as always.


The rest of the day had gone by in a rush. They'd met with a couple of Bee's best friends for the campus visits and between the subway rides and the fact that it had rained for most of the afternoon they'd had little to no time to actually talk.


When they got back to the apartment they'd taken turns showering and getting ready. Nate finished first so he'd gotten out to the store with Ivan to get some last minute things. When Bee walked out of the bathroom she was alone in the apartment.


She sat on the sofa and zipped up her heels before standing up. She lowered the hem of her dress and walked in the direction of the bar cart and poured herself a tequila shot.


She'd felt nervous ever since the beggining of the trip and she couldn't really tell why. Something had seemed to change in her dynamic with Nate and she didn't exactly know when or what. But she felt a big sense of responsibility about him liking it there.


The door flew open and Ivan walked in followed closely by Nate, both of them carrying multiple paper bags.


"Okay, it's done." Ivan said. "Derek's late which is no surprise to anyone."


Bee scrunched her eyebrows together as her eyes laid over the forrest green sweater Nate was wearing. His eyes met with hers and manteined her gaze as he placed the bags over the kitchen counter.


"I'm gonna shower now." Ivan continued. "If anyone gets here just open the door."


"Yeah." Bee answered shortly. Her brother finished up putting an ice bag in the freezer before disappearing into the hallway.


The minute he was gone she felt a strange tension lingering in the air. She took a couple of steps in the direction of the kitchen island and watched Nate look at her.


"You look really beautiful." He said leaning against the kitchen island, his hands tucked into the pockets of his pants.


"Thanks." She said shortly. "You look nice too. Is that Ivan's by any chance?" She asked referring to the green sweater.


The sides of his lips pulled back slightly. "Maybe. He said I'd get cold."


"Right." She said ironically. "Of course he feels the need to tell you what to wear."


"It's fine, Bee." He said leaning his elbow against the counter.


"So," She said shortly.


"So," He said and they remained quiet for a few seconds.


She'd intended to ask him whether he'd liked everything so far. But staying apart from each the entire day had proven to be more difficult than she expected. The weight of his eyes on her made it impossible to form another word.


They held each other's stare for a while, almost like a competition, the way that they sometimes did seeing who'd give in first.


It seemed like forever had passed before Nate took a couple of long strides in her direction and caught her face between his palms, pressing his lips against hers.


They kissed for a minute, feeling the urge of the past hours together disipate lightly as they did. Bee placed her palms against his chest feeling the soft fabric between her fingers. She brushed her tongue lightly against his but he pulled back way sooner than she'd wanted him to. His eyes focused on hers again.


"You're so fucking stubborn." He said just loud enough for her to listen.


"Why?"


"If you've wanted to kiss me this badly before then why didn't you just do it?"


She breathed out feeling her cheeks getting hotter. Her lips pressed against his once again and she could feel his arms wrapping around her waist.


"You're shivering." He said against her lips.


She pulled back lightly and shook her head. "I'm okay." In reality she felt a strange mixture between cold and nervous. "Do you wanna smoke?"


"Sure." He said and she pulled back from his embrace. She grabbed a half smoked joint and a lighter from the bar cart and walked over to the balcony. She leaned against the railing and lit up the joint before taking a slow drag.


Nate walked out a second later and placed her jacket over her shoulders.


"Thanks." She said shortly and handed him the joint.


The added height from the heels made it easier to look at his face. As she examined it she felt the urge she'd felt that morning slowly creeping back.


"Are your friends coming?" He asked before bringing the joint up to his lips.


"No." She said softly. "I didn't tell them."


"Why?"


She shrugged. "It's too many people."


Nate blew the smoke to the side. "What did Lou mean when she asked if you were ready to see them again?" She looked down for a second, unsure about what to answer. She wished he hadn't caught that. "When we were in the subway."


"Your heard that." She breathed out and looked up at him. "Nothing."


"You know that I'm here for you, right?" He asked and Bee nodded. "Because sometimes you're really demanding with me, Bee. Like you make me spell out things I don't want to talk about. But then you go on and hold on to things about yourself."


"Like what?"


"Like you've been acting strange since we got here and I can't really tell why." He said.


She tilted her head aside and bit her bottom lip nervously. She took the joint from his fingers and took another drag before answering.


"I guess I just wanted you to like it here." She paused for a second. "I wish the weather would've been better and just- I don't know. I don't know why it feels so important now."


"You were nervous about me liking it here." He repeated.


"Well, yeah." She while handing it back to him.


"Bee, I'm not here for the fucking city." He said and put off the joint against the metal railing. "I'm here for you."


"You really shouldn't say that." She looked past him in the direction of the kitchen. But Nate brought his hand to her face and moved her chin in his direction.


"Does it really surprise you?" He asked. "I'm considering shifting my entire life in a direction I never imagined before. And all I need to know is if you'll stand by my side if I do it."


"What do you mean?"


"I mean I need to know if we'll be together for good." He said. "You can go ahead and pretend this isn't anything but you know that's not true, right? It doesn't really matter how you wanna call it, or if I can't give you flowers. This is the closest I've felt to anyone in my life, Bee." They both fell quiet for a few seconds. She watched his jaw clench lightly before he continued. "And I feel like there's so much more to it. I don't wanna do this halfway anymore."


"I am here for good." She said. "But how can you be so certain? I mean maybe what we have is better as it is."


"Because we're good for each other. I just need to know if you'll stand by my side. It's drilling my mind, this idea that somehow you're gonna leave." He looked up at her. Her hazel eyes meeting with hers again. He pressed his lips together and it was then she realized that he was just as nervous as she was. "And if that happens I really think I'll break, I don't mean it on like a figurative way. I really, really mean it."


"That sounds like a lot of responsibility." She said and felt his hand drop from her chin. He breathed out and looked away for a second, the only times he'd seemed so out of himself like that was when he was really opening up.


"I know it's hard. I know I'm asking for a lot. And that things might not always be so great. It's nearly guaranteed I'll fuck up but I promise you, I'll try every single day."


Bee felt her heart sink to the way he said it. Like it would be a weight to be with him. Like somehow he knew he didn't deserve it. How he referred to himself as a lot. And once again she wished, even though she knew it was not her job, that she could put him together and just hold him like that.


"Nate, it's not hard. If anything is alarmingly easy." She said softly feeling her eyes burn. She wished she could've said something else but her throat felt like it was closing off and she couldn't think straight. Somehow being together didn't seem possible, not for someone like her. "But I'm scared."


"Of me?"


She shook her head. "Half of the time we're not together I'm not holding up as well as you, or anybody, thinks I am." She said. "I don't know what the fuck I am doing with my life either." She let out an ironic laugh. "Ever since my mom passed away I feel like I don't even know who I am sometimes. And I need to just figure that out."


"We'll fucking figure it out together." He said, his voice getting softer before he continued. "Bee, you don't have to do it by yourself."


He leaned his forehead against hers and she closed her eyes. She felt his hand slip to the back of her head.


She closed the distance between their lips and kissed him slowly, once, twice, a few more times until she lost count.


"Bee, I'm not fucking with you. I mean this." Nate said pulling back just enough so that her eyes focused on his.


"I know" She said and fought back a smile. Because all of that time she thought she was the only one who'd been dreaming of that. "But tonight just feels too— I don't know— surreal. Can we talk about this when we get back?"


He nodded and brought her closer, kissing her forehead and then lowering his face to reach for her lips. She wrapped her arms around his neck as their kiss deepened and she felt him cup her ass tightly over her dress. For the first time that day he'd kissed her exactly the way she wanted to, without holding back at all.


She wasn't sure exactly how much time had gone by before the door of the balcony flew open.


"Bee?" She turned around to find Derek and two of his friends standing behind him.


"Hi." She said feeling the blush coming up to her cheeks.


They walked into the apartment and she greeted Derek by hugging him briefly.


"This is Nate." She said shortly.


"Hey man." Nate said without a hint of shame in his voice.


"I didn't know you had a boyfriend." He said.


"No, he's not my—"


"Let's do some shots, people." Ivan said from the living room. "Everyone but Bee who downed half of this bottle and didn't think I'd notice."


"You're such a fucking liar." She felt Nate's hand over her waist as he kissed the top of her head from behind. Maybe that night it would be okay not to pretend.


Author's note: does anyone else think they're so cute together or is it just me? 🥺
Next chapter after this one gets 15 votes 🧡 can't wait to post what's coming.

Comment