She looked up at me and I forgot how to breathe
βββ ββ ββ β βββ
It's been a good ten minutes since we're sharing the same space. She's beside me in the car as I'm trying hard to understand why the hell did I even decide to drop her home. I'm trying my best to guess where she lives because little dear y/n didn't tell me her address yet. "Are you sleeping?" I asked her upon seeing her rest her head on the window with her eyes closed.
"No, I'm hibernating." She replied and sat straight. "Oh can you please do it outside my car. Don't want it getting dirty." I clapped back at her and received a glare which almost made me chuckle. "Listen, you do realize that I need your address to drop you home?" I asked her and she looked at the time.
"Jeez, why didn't you ask me before?" She looked outside the car and tried to guess where we actually were. "Well, it's common sense to tell your address to someone who's dropping you home and you slept as soon as you sat in."
I bickered back and she sighed frustratedly. "House 18, pacific heights." She said and I was only a second away from choking on air. Pacific heights. That's where I fucking live. Goddamit how long has she been my neighbor without my knowledge.
I was smart enough to not tell her about us being neighbors because who wants an obviously sick student to stand outside their house with a knife?
"You can sleep for a while. We'll take at least ten more minutes to reach." IΒ informed her upon seeing her yawn for the fifth time. She shook her head and looked at me, "I don't trust you." That made me laugh. "Then why did you even step in the car?" I asked and that shut her up.
"You try too hard to hate me don't you?" I asked and she looked away. Cute
"Gosh I hate him." I heard her mutter under her breath and that's the information I didn't need to know. "You hate me? Damn let me take a second to recover from this tragedy."
I remarked as she sighed loudly. "Listen, I need to talk to you." She said and fiddled with the hem of her skirt. Her skirt, something I shouldn't really look at.
"Go on." I said and took a left.
"The t- test. I know I sucked but can you please not reveal my marks tomorrow in front of the entire class? My one and only request please?" She asked and for however long I've known y/n, she isn't the type to beg for anything. Especially to me. But seeing her ask for something so desperately, made me realize that there is something more to this.
"Okay." I said and shrugged. She widened her eyes. "Okay? That's it? You agreed? Without any conditions?" She couldn't believe herself yet.
"I'm really not that good to just grant your wish to you, am I?" I asked and she looked at me like I took a piece of her pizza. She crossed her arms and waited for me to speak further.
To be honest, I didn't really have any conditions. But I love testing her patience for some damn reason. "I'll let you know, Miss ace." I said and she furrowed her eyebrows. "Are you going to ask me to jump off a cliff or something?" She asked and I couldn't help but hide the wicked smile off my face. "You never know y/n." I said and stopped the car in front of house 18.
She looked at me for a second longer before opening the car door and exiting. I rolled down my window and called her name, "y/n." She turned around and her dark brown hair swayed with the cold pang of wind. "We have a deal." I said and the clouds roared. It soon started raining as she covered her head and ran inside as I headed to my house which was just a few houses away from y/n's.
As I entered my house, my three cats rushed to me and I picked the oldest one, petting their head as I heard soft purrs. I quickly got changed and jumped into my soft bed, instantly falling asleep.
The next morning when I reached my office, I saw Tina standing outside, waiting with a few bunch of papers in her hand. "Good morning?" I said as she turned around. Upon seeing me, she bowed and smiled. "Good morning sir, I need to talk to you." She rejoiced and I opened my office door and let her step in first.
She sat down in front of the main desk and kept the papers in front of me. "The principal put up a notice today that there will be an inter grade competition between three classes and whoever wins will win a prize of a three days two night trip to a secret place." She chimed in happily as I took a minute to match her excitement level at 7 am in the morning.
"That's great Tina, and I wish you all the best." I still wasn't sure why I am the one she's telling all this to. "But every class needs a lead teacher and I think there's no one better than you for my class." She giggled and as much I appreciate her respect for me, I don't think I deserve being a lead teacher. "Well, that's what you think Tina, you have a class of 45 students. What about them?" I inquired and she forwarded another paper.
"Everyone agreed sir." The paper had names and signatures of 44 students including Tina. The only signature which I was looking for was of Kim y/n's which was as expected missing. She would never want me as her lead teacher and that's totally understandable. I haven't given her many chances to change her viewpoint regarding myself. If all, I've only given her reasons to hate me.
"Kim y/n did not agree." I gave Tina a half hearted smile as she sulked. "But sir, she hasn't come to the university yet. As soon as she comes I'll get her sign. And even if she doesn't sign I think the majority wins." She responded in an offended tone which made me squint my eyes. There's definitely some hot soup between Tina and y/n.
"Not for me Tina. I don't leave any of my students behind. If she doesn't agree I don't think I'm suitable enough to be your lead teacher but let's see. I need to talk to the principal too. I'll see you in class." Before she could argue further I got up and smiled at her which made her leave the office reluctantly.
As I was walking towards the principal's office my eyes caught hold of a very late y/n who's running towards her class. She almost saved herself from tripping and entered the class which made me smile. Okay Minho, you need to stop noticing every little thing she does.
"Oh, mr. Minho, please step in." The principal called me in and I bowed before sitting in front of him. "Sir, the trip youβ" he took a sip of his tea and relaxed back in his seat.
"I was about to come on that. Since it's these students' last year in this university I wanted them to study harder. Whoever wins this inter grade competition wins a trip to any place they'd like but the only condition was to choose a lead teacher." He said and straightened his tie.
"But sir- grade A wants me as theirβ" again, he cut me off and said, "they had three options. You, mr. Chan and ms. Kelly. Tina being the class president has chosen you." He let out in a throaty voice. "But sir, she's not the official class president. And moreover I don't think it's right to just follow every decision she makes. There are other students too." I explained and he found it thought provoking as he nodded along.
"You've got a point but Tina is a sensible girl and I don't think she made a bad decision by choosing you. Why? In Fact you should be happy that you're chosen." He silently yawned as he sipped his tea again. "Of course I'm happy but sir, it isn't fair to the rest of the students. I would still like to talk to all of them before imposing any leadership on them." He gave a tilted smile before nodding and saying,
"As you wish." That was my cue to leave and enter y/n's class. It was a little noisier than usual as I stepped in. The environment grew quiet and I wondered why I could feel the tension in the air. "All well?" I inquired as everyone smiled meekly and wished me. The lecture started and this time, y/n was actually paying attention.
There were moments when she did get distracted and started doodling but something is better than nothing. I appreciate even a little step of effort from her side and that's how it should be. I should only be concerned with her chemistry studies and not how she smiles or how she's a little clumsy or how her smell engulfed my car and I felt a little empty when she left my side or how she is looking at me right now.
She looks at me and expects that I don't notice anything but oh god, I do. I see every glance she spares at me, every smile that plays on her lips before disappearing behind that cold demeanor, every challenging glint in her chocolate eyes and I wonder if she notices me just like I notice her. Even though we shouldn't notice each other in such ways. "Any questions?" I asked one last time before exiting the class and I was hoping y/n would ask something but she didn't. I answered a few questions from other students before walking out of the class.
I was about to enter another class until I felt a tap on my shoulder.
"Minho, where's your phone? I've been calling you." It was chan. I check my phone and realize it's dead. "I forgot to charge it last night!" I accepted and saw how Chan's eyes lit up with mischief.
"Were you with someone last night or you're trying to hide it from your one and only best friend?" He wiggled his eyebrows and I crinkled my eyes in return. "First of all, shut up and second of all, when did you become my best friend?"
His serious expression was back as he glared at me. "You were the one who got drunk last week and admitted that I'm your one and only best friend. I have proof." He unlocked his phone and I stopped him. "Okay okay whatever. I am getting late, move." I started walking as his laugh filled my ears. I smiled too.
"Anyways, congratulations mr. Minho. You're the lead teacher of grade A and I'm of grade B." He said which made me halt in my tracks. I completely forgot to discuss this issue with the entire class. Dammit. "Who told you?" I asked Chan again and he stared at me. "Dude, the whole university knows it at this point." I sighed and thanked Tina for her favor.
After finishing more lectures I was waiting for y/n in my office at sharp 8pm. I had no idea if she would turn up or not but waiting seemed the only logical thing to do. Ten minutes and then twenty minutes passed but there was no clue where she was. I removed my coat in anticipation and decided to walk outside for a while until a few more minutes before leaving.
"You bitch, I'll slap you to an alternate universe." I heard a very loud and grainy voice from a distance. "Try me you moron." I heard another angry and loud voice. The fight was escalating as I sped walked towards it only to find chairs flying across the passage. It was Tina and y/n.
"What the hellβ y/n!!" I screamed and pulled y/n away from Tina who was about to hit y/n with her shoe. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING TINA?" I raised my voice in anger as Tina's actions came to a stop. She realized her posture and quickly fixed her hair. "I'm- I'm sorry you had to see this but ask her."
She threw her shoe down on the ground in anger and I turned to y/n. She was clutching my arm tightly and her breathing was abnormally quick. "Y/n?" I asked and she left my grip so fast that I could barely register what happened before she swung a tight slap to Tina.
Tina stumbled back and hit the floor. I pulled y/n far away from Tina as she struggled to set her free. "Tina, I think it's best if you leave. I'll handle her. Just go." I said and Tina held her elbow in pain before glaring at y/n and walking away. I pulled y/n into my office and closed the door before anyone could see what actually happened. "What the hell was that y/n?" I asked her once she sat down on the chair.
She was breathing heavily and her hair was disheveled. "Y/n I'm asking youβ" I saw the blood stain on her forehead and upper lip. Her cheek had a small scratch and her knees were bleeding. I made her look at me as she winced. "Ouch."
"Wait here." I said and grabbed the first aid box from my shelf before kneeling in front of her. She scooted away and said, "you don't need to do this." I held the leg of the chair and pulled it closer again. "I want to."
I cleaned the wound as she let out soft cries of pain. I blew on it as she physically relaxed and closed her eyes. She was beaten up quite terribly and I'm dying to know whatever the reason is. "Look at me." I said as she opened her eyes and looked into mine.
"Tell me if it hurts." I said before applying ointment on her upper lip. She kept looking into my eyes and did not once wince. Even though I was treating her upper lip, I found myself unable to look away from her eyes. "This might be a bad time to say this, but I love your cologne."
Her eyes shone with a glimmer and I replied, "this might also be a terrible time to say this but your eyes are pretty up close."
She gulped and I could hear her heart beating. "Relax, I won't kill you. I can hear your heart beating really fast." I breathed slowly as she finally broke eye contact and looked at the ceiling. I moved on to cover her cheek and upon seeing it so close I realized how bad it actually was.
I pressed the cotton to it and she shivered. She was clenching the chair handle too hard. "You can hold my hand if you'd like." I don't even know why I suggested that but she didn't waste a second to hold my hand and clench it. She was in pain and I was trying my best to lessen it for her.
"Will you tell me what happened back there?" I asked again and she smiled. "I could kill her right now." She shrieked with a smirk. "You're not killing anyone on my watch." I remarked. "Well then, don't watch." I shook my head because I already knew she was going to say that.
"Remember I told you to not reveal my marks? Well Tina did. I don't know how but she found the mark sheet and displayed it to the class in the last lecture and moreover that piece of shit called me a 'rich mom's bratty daughter.' Of course she deserved what she got." Y/n touted and my heart clenched in my rib cage. I had planned on not revealing the marks to anyone but how did Tina even get the marks?
"Did you hand her the mark sheet, sir?" She asked in a taunting way. "Not at all. I don't even remember speaking to her about marks. How did she get the sheet?" I was feeling betrayed because I don't remember handing the sheet over to Tina. It only means one thing, someone stole it and that someone happens to be Tina.
"Can I trust you?" Y/n bristled with a broken voice. "If you want to, you can."
After treating her wounds, she already looked pretty tired. I didn't think it would be appropriate to teach her, her least favorite subject.Β Y/n surprisingly opened her bag and removed the books. "We can study tomorrow y/n. Don't burden yourself." I embarked and she looked like she didn't listen. "Y/n?"
"No, let's study. I've already wasted quite a lot of time." Her movements looked hurried and rather forced. As if she's not the one who is saying those words. "Y/n you're shaking." I said and she stopped. She looked at her hands and legs which were shivering. I walked towards her and asked, "are you okay?" She slowly looked up and shook her head. She broke down in tears.
She was shaking so bad that I didn't think twice before holding her shivering body in my arms. "Shhh, breathe slowly." I said and swayed us both slowly. She cried and cried until my shirt was wet. When she finally stopped she looked at the shirt, "I'm sorry for that." She sniffed and moved away from my arms. "Let's get you home first." I said and she held my arm.
"I don't want to go." She said in a weak voice. My eyes darted between her hand and my arm. "What do you mean?" I asked as she looked down at her feet. "I meanβ not without. You know what, never mind. I'll just study at home." She said and let go of my arm. "Y/n wait."
"You don't need to pressure yourself over studies, okay? Tina isn't the epitome of this university so what she says and what she's trying to prove doesn't matter okay? I know it's hard for you right now but at this moment, you are allowed to be weak. There's nothing wrong with it. Just because Tina revealed your marks, doesn't mean you've lost anything. You're still y/n who is improving. Relax." Her eyes sparkled with relief and she nodded slowly as wiped her remaining tears.
"Tha-thankyou sir." She let out and I smiled. "And I wantβ" I stopped before I could finish what I wanted to say. I want you to smile was what I wanted to say but I didn't have the courage to. Because that one line could maybe change things for me.
"You want?" She asked and stepped a little closer and I think I must have lost my goddamn mind because I stepped closer too. So close that the only thing separating us was the fabric of our clothes. Shit, I should take a step back.
"It doesn't matter what I want." I still have not taken that huge step back.Β "It does." She let out and I almost felt like I'm standing in front of a person. A person who knows, who understands. She's just a student, yet to explore this world and yet to discover its secrets but some people learn this world quicker than others. The look in her eyes, I have seen that look before. The pain, the agony, the scream of help hidden behind her smile, I've seen that before.
'It does' those two simple words evoked a volcano in me. I believed what I wanted never mattered until she said that it does. And just like a newborn, who believes in whatever they're told, I too, believed her. "I want you to smile." Thereβ I said it. Something shifted between the two of us. That weak wall of a teacher and student which we were trying not to break, broke. Her face gleamed as she looked up to see my eyes.
"If that's what you want, sir." She said and smiled and it reminded me of a place that I've never been to but have always known. I didn't know what to call this thing between us, but it made me feel silly, good and fragile. Completely vulnerable just in front of her.
"Let's go home."
The next day my first lecture was at y/n's class and before anything, there was a person who I needed to speak to.
"So, have you all received your surprise test marks?" The entire class chimed in a big yes. Tina slowly smiled but she didn't know what was coming for her.
"May I know who did the honors of showing you all the marks?" I asked as some of the students pointed at Tina. She stood up and bowed. "Oh Kwon Tina? Thank You so much for making my job easier but I don't remember asking for you help!" I said and all the happiness faded away from her face.
"S-sir?" She mumbled and looked down at her feet. "Stealing the mark sheet wasn't really a smart move, was it miss Tina? I'd appreciate you not interfering in such practices and respectfully, miss Tina, you need to refrain yourself from having fights with other people. I get it, you were the topper this semester but that doesn't give you any right to do such activities. Am I clear?"
She felt ashamed and that wasn't the intention but if I didn't call her out in front of the class then she wouldn'tΒ have realised the fact that she's really just a student and not some unofficial class president.
"Yβyes sir." She murmured. "Am I absolutely clear?" I asked again and she nodded and sat down. "Good." I said and looked at y/n who was biting back a smile.
"Anyways, class I heard you've chosen me as the lead teacher for the upcoming competition?" The atmosphere came back to normal as everyone smiled cheerfully. "Of course we'd choose you. Name a teacher who teaches as good as you?" Some last bencher said out loud and the rest of the students laughed.
I laughed and said "I am not giving you any extra marks for flattering me, nick." The class booed at Nick as I came back to the topic. "I'm passing this paper again and if you all agree to make me the lead teacher, please sign it. If not, then don't sign it. Be quick everyone." I passed the paper and waited for the class to finish signing. When the paper reached y/n, she looked up at me.
She smiled softly before signing and handing me the paper. All 45 students have signed the paper and it made me more nervous than happy. "Shall we continue with the chapter then?" I asked and everyone opened their books. Before turning towards the board I spared oneβ ONE FINAL LOOK at her as she mouthed a small thankyou to me.
All I could do was wonder if the little hate game between us was over or it's just the beginning of something way beyond our expectations.