LEXI'S POV

This week has went but pretty fast, it's Friday and nine o'clock I'm getting ready for the party.

I didn't tell jake I'm going to the party and I'd like to keep it that way, we don't need another argument.

Dylan didn't mess with me apparently Jake scared the living shit out of him.

I go over my eyeliner and keep my clothes, jeans, a weed tshirt, and socks. And I just run my flat iron over my hair one last time.

I put my coach shoes on and tell my mom I'm going to hangout with Morgan which isn't a lie since I'm picking her up and bringing her there.

I just have my phone in my pocket and go into the really crowded house with Morgan.

We both get a cup and fill it with a mix of everything and start drinking it.

The guy that told me to come to the party smiles and comes up to Morgan and I.

"I'm Luke," he says to Morgan.

"Morgan," she chirps happily and I want to remind her she's dating Adam but I don't want to be rude.

"Well Morgan Lexi want to follow me? You made it just in time," he says smiling and rubbing his hands together walking away.

I give her a questioning look but she just pushes past me and follows him grabbing his arm flirting.

I follow after and we go to the back outside which I'm guessing they're using to do drugs in since there's a bunch of people smoking a lot of different things.

Someone offers a joint to Morgan and she just nods her head no and I take it.

She looks at me wide-eyed and I take a few puffs and offer it to her and she shrugs a little and takes it.

I didn't even get high off it neither did Morgan I don't think but when someone passes something else around I don't catch the name.

Crack or coke or something but they say to try it and I think about it for a second or two.

"Why not?" I say and inhale the smoke.

But that's when everything goes bad.

It his girl walks out and starts talking but everything is so different I swear she's going to do something and I freak out and don't even realize what I'm doing till my hand connects with her face.

"Oh shit!" I hear Morgan yell.

I run through the house getting away and knock a bunch of stuff over and push into people not caring.

I run around outside yelling things at people. A cop shows up and everyone scatters into the house and leaving but I'm still outside.

"Are you alright?" she asks.

"Yeah I'm fine I have to go," I say turning around but end up doing a circle and I'm still standing by her.

She's the one prosecuting my rape case but she also did the case against my dad.

"Your obviously under the influence just go inside and I'll act like I never saw you," she says and walk back to her car.

I nod and she drives away and I trip and just lay on the ground watching everything spin until someone comes and pulls me up so I'm sitting up.

It's Jake.

"No what are you doing here?" I ask but I can feel the high fading away they said it'd be gone in a hour.

"I don't know if I can keep doing this," He says sitting down next to me.

No no no no he did not just say that.

I feel as if my hearts been stabbed.

"What do you mean?" I barely manage to say without being in tears.

"I get a call from Morgan saying you went crazy after doing drugs!"

"It's fine it's wearing off any way,"

"You punched a girl in the face and it's all fine?"

"I didn't mean to I freaked out after taking it!"

"Where is everyone huh?" he asks.

"They left,"

"They left?"

"When cops showed everyone left and they told me go home because they I was fucked up,"

"Where's the girl you punched?"

"I. Didn't. Try. To. Punch. Her." With every word I say I punch the sidewalk next to me not even caring how much it hurts my hand.

"Stop!" He yells lightly before grabbing my hand. "Your hands all bloody,"

"I don't care. I'm sorry I did this to you, to Morgan, to the girl I punched, I'm I did all this. It's just I'm a big fuck up," I say and get up and start walking away.

"Where are you going?" he asks coming after me.

"Home,"

I wipe the tears before he catches up.

"Stop let me bring you home,"

"No, you don't have to be with me no more I feel like it's just out of pity now so it's fine. Go find someone not as messed up as me and that has their shit together and be with them you deserve it,"

"Where is this coming from? its not pity it's love, do you not get it? there is no other fucking girl in this world that i want. I want you, no I need you. I need you as much as you need me,"

"Then why'd you say you don't think you can do this any more?"

"I can't do this anymore- come to party's or find you doing drugs it just makes me feel like you'll OD and be gone from me,"

"I know, I know I'm sorry." I say and I mean it, i really do.

"Please stop," He asks and all i can hear is the pleading-begging sound in his voice as if hes going to lose me.

He wraps his arms around me holding me close to him and that all but thats all it takes to have me make up my mind im going to quit all this.

I love him to much to do this to him espeically that this fall he's going be leaving to a college somewhere and we havent even talked about it yet.

I try not to dwell on the fact that in five give or take a few months he will be gone and off to a college with pretty, smart, and vicous college girls that will have there hands all over him.

I try to focous on right now and worry about today not tomorrow or a week from tomorrow or whenever but sometimes i cant help it but do just that.

"Come over to my house?" He asks.

"No it's fine ill just go home,"

"Please,"

"No i cant,"

"What do you mean you cant, you cant,"

"No i cant. You don't get it my mom adores you and you parents hate me. To them im someone homeless bum you picked up off the street,"

"No your not,"

"Yes i am. I'm not arguing about this with you because theres no point i know im right. Remember what your mom thought about me when she found out i had a miscarraige? She still thinks the same damn thing except shes partly right now,"

"Your none of that stuff. She doesn't mean any of that she's just hard on you because she sees herself in you,"

"I really doubt that look at your mom then look at me," I mutter.

"Just come with me to my house, you can talk to her I'll prove it she does like you,"

"No not right now when I'm all fucked up,"

It's not even bad any more it's basically gone but I don't want her to see me even a little bit on drugs I don't want her to see me high or drunk- not again.

"Please just trust me she won't care just tell her what happened and I promise you she'll open up to you,"

"Are you sure?" I ask.

I don't want to tell her what happened, how Jake saved me and then her not like me even more.

"Yes, please just come on," he says standing up and offering me his hand.

"Alright," I say and take it standing up and getting into his car and putting my seat belt on before rendering something.

"Wait," I say before he starts the car.

I text Morgan and ask if she wants a ride to her house but she says no she's at Adams.

"You can go now i wanted to see if Morgan needed a ride but she don't she's at Adams,"

I can tell he don't like the fact she's at her boyfriends but nods and starts his car and drives off.

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Hope you enjoyed I already have the next chapter wrote!

Xox.

- crazy_writer_2013