LEXI'S POV

It's been a month and a half and it's been awful.

My mom and I have finished our court stuff and he'll be away about two years.

My mom isn't handling it well. She's turned into what my dad was... an alcoholic.

She's drank everyday and now she brings home random guys and sleeps with them. The parties are horrible too.

She has parties and ends up trashing the house and I end up cleaning it and trying to catch up on school work while Morgan still helps me.

I've moped around this last month and a half and I've missed enough school but I can't handle this heart break.

My grades went down but I've managed through the blaring music of the parties my mom throws and my locked door I stay in my room studying and doing my work so I don't get behind.

I've got them back up to the regular A B and a couple C's.

Jake has tried to talk to me, in school I ignore him and walk away. He texts me and I don't ever read them and he calls and I don't answer and I don't listen to the voicemails he leaves.

It's Saturday and my mom is throwing a party like usual. Knowing she would I did all my homework last night after school.

Morgan texts me and wants me to go over to her house since she's grounded. That means she can't leave but she can have as many people over at her house.

I debate a good thirty minutes before texting her back that I'll go.

I really really really hope Jake isn't there.

I already know I'll end up spending the night so I put on my grey sweatpants with elastic at the ankles and a white v-neck t-shirt.

My hair is in a fishtail braid so I leave it along with my eyeliner and mascara.

I grab my purse and put my phone and charger in it before I grab my keys. I lock my bedroom door because I can just stick a toothpick in it and open it when I get back and leave.

I drive to her house stopping on the way to get gas but I get there and the lights are on.

I knock. Even though it's only nine thirty at night I'm still hoping her parents are sleeping.

There not.

Her mom Victoria, opens the door and gives me a shameful look before letting me in and telling me to go to the kitchen.

"Ok?" I say but it comes out like a question.

Everyone's in the kitchen including Jake but Morgan isn't. I want to cry, I want to cry so bad just seeing him.

He looks tired. He has two day stubble on his face and dark circles under his eyes. He looks older but still the sexy, caring, wonderful guy I love that broke my heart.

Her dad Robert is standing by the counter looking over papers and Victoria goes and stands by him.

"What is it you needed Victoria?" I ask standing there awkwardly while Jake keeps looking at me.

I look at Victoria and Robert so that way I don't start to cry looking at Jake.

"We found these papers of yours." She says waving them around but I don't know what they are. "You were pregnant with my sons child and you lost it?"

"Your just finding out about this now? so what it's not like I tried. It's not like you would care." I say looking her in the eyes.

"Of course I care you killed my grandchild! Why did you do it? What did you so drink to much and get to high?"

"Is that what you think of me honestly? I've never done drugs and I've maybe got drunk twice! I didn't kill my own child!" I say almost yelling before I grab the papers from her.

I walk off and get my shoes on before I take off in my car.

I can't believe she thinks that of me.

Well I can show her low.

I go inside my house and the party's still going so I take a bottle if vodka and start chugging it till I know I'm drunk.

People are smoking weed on the couch just passing it to each other so I sit on the edge and some guy passed it to me.

I smoke it in then cough it out I don't get what they like about it but he tells me to keep going so I do.

Then I get it. Everything becomes more real more relaxing and I feel free.

I give it back to him and I ask some girl that isn't drunk or intoxicated to give me a ride somewhere and she says yes.

She gives me a ride to Morgan's and I thank her and she smiles.

I'm tipsy and I knock on the door hoping now that it's only ten thirty that Victoria and Robert are sleeping then Victoria answers.

She answers and I hear someone else walk towards her.

"Just to let you know I didn't kill my child I'm not like you think I am." I say almost it falling over tripping just standing there.

"Look at you! I'm glad you didn't have my grandchild I wouldn't want it to come from someone like yourself." She says clearly discussed.

"Mom!" Jake yells and she turns around and I see Jake.

I see him and my eyes start to water so I turn around and start walking. I start walking up there driveway and I trip but get back up.

By the time I get back up Jake's behind me and I can tell. He grabs my wrist and spins me around.

"I'm sorry about my mom." He says.

"It's fine. I'm fine." I say wiping the tear the fell.

"Where are you going?" He asks.

"Home."

"You not walking there when your like this. Please just come inside."

"I really want to say no but I'm about pass out." I say following him inside.

He brings me to his room and I lay on his bed. I feel the bed dip and he wraps his arms around me.

He's pressed to my back but I'm feeling so many emotions. I love him even after what he did and all I'm feeling is warmth and safety in his arms and I fall asleep. The best sleep I've had in a while.

***************

I just woke up and Jake's still sleeping. Well I would be too it's only four in the morning. I feel sick like I'm going to puke so I get out of bed.

I want to go back to normal with Jake back to being boyfriend and girlfriend but I don't think I could do another heart break.

My head hurts a lot but I'll take something when I get home. I slip on my shoes and reach for the door handle when a hand goes over mine.

By the way my heart flutters and I get tingles throughout my body I can tell it's Jake without looking.

I look up and I'm right it's Jake.

He looks a lot better than last night. He must've needed to sleep.

"I'm sorry if I woke you." i say and try for the handle again but he stops me.

"Where are you going? it's still dark out." He says.

"Home."

"Why?"

"Because I feel sick and I want to go to bed and not get out forever."

"Your hung over. Just stay here a few more hours please." He says and I see the hope and the pain in his eyes.

"I... I can't-" I say before getting cut off.

I run down the hall to the bathroom as quietly as possible and throw up in the toilet.

After washing my hands and brushing my teeth with the toothbrush of mine I have here I go back to where Jake is.

"I was saying I can't. You don't get it. It's to painful to be here in the same house as you and know your not mine. I love you. I realized that and we're not even together. You make everything better and without you it's like I've lost part of myself." I say wiping away a tear that fell before going out the door.

It's chilly outside and I'm cold but when he stops me and pushed me against his house- just his hands on my waist make my skin feel like it's on fire and warmth to spread through me.

He kisses me. It's a long rough but sweet kiss and it's everything right now. All I've wanted for so long and it's happening.

I wrap my arms around his neck and roam my fingers threw his hair and he's holding my waist drawing circles to my sides.

We break apart and were both slightly panting from not having oxygen.

"I love you. I love you so damn much." He say leaning onto me but looking me in the eye.

He wipes away a tear that fell a second after he said that.

"Honestly do you mean that or are you just saying that?"

"I mean it. Trust me I wouldn't lie about this I realized right after... right after I cheated on you how bad I felt and how I wished it was you. Please give me another chance that's all I want."

"I slept in the bed you cheated on me with!" I say now remembering.

"No you didn't I got a new bed I couldn't sleep on that knowing I did that to you on it. Now will you please give me another chance?"

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Hope you enjoyed!

Xox.

- crazy_writer_2013