Author's note:
So this chapter happen on the helicopter trip that Norman and everyone is ( except Emma ) to rescue Ray with Don and Gilda's help at the lab. I'm sorry of this chapter is slow paced but I wanted to not only focus on Norman and Emma's relationship but Norman's and Yuugo's
I feel like Norman was only able to be with Emma because of Yuugo, so I felt the need to write all these contradictory feelings and all..
Hope it didn't turned out boring!
Please enjoy this chapter!
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When Emma held the necklace Norman placed on her, the helicopter was far gone in the night sky. She closed her eyes to listen to that annoying sound that always bothered her: it was the sound of departure. It was actually the sound of freedom for her...but at what cost?
Her brother, her dear Ray was cough by trying to save her...if she had been there maybe... No
Emma closed off those feelings. Just like Norman once told her, if was not worth to think of that could have happen. She had to face reality but...dreaming what life could have been was something everyone did, at least once a day.
She was being selfish and she was being lovely, she smiled as she cooped her own face: Norman labeled his behavior as selfish, he thinks he wanted her to himself...but Emma smiled because she knew it was a lie
Even if he was rushing to save her brother out of selfish reasons...Emma didn't mind. We all are a bit selfish, right? Pure, uninterested love is something that belongs on novels, on movies, the ones Norman told her about.
And Emma knew...she couldn't stop him because
He was a force like she had never seen before
" Please, bring my brother and yourself back here safely, Norman "
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" How long until we arrive at the capital ?" - Norman was already biting his nails as Gillian and Nigel piloted the helicopter. In the deep night, everything was black and the silent was crushing all the crew members. Violet and Oliver were watching the radar, Zack and Paula were making some food and Lucas was writing something in a little note book he had and Norman noticed only now
" Since the radar doesn't pick on anything and the wind is quite favorable, maybe 1 more hour, I think " - Oliver sounded reluctant and Norman sighted at the sight of the silent helicopter
" Look guys...I know this is super dangerous and I'm putting you all into a difficult situation...you already did everything for me and the only thing I do in return is find even more dangerous situations to put you in and - "
" Cut the crap, Norman - Violet interrupted him cursing like she always did - do you think someone here is doing this against his / her will ? You say you have a lot of brains but you still haven't figured the reason why this special force was created"
Norman was genuinely confused and he had never felt that stupid in his life...that was he clueless about? He had the one who had always everything in check! What the heck was beeing hidden from him?
" Violet...what are you talking about - "
" This special force was created to protect you, Norman "
Norman turned his head to the voice which was the souse of such sentence. Lucas took his eyes out of his small note book and smiled at Norman, sweet like he always did, a smile of a father that almost made Norman want to cry
" Yuugo...he always said that you were destined to do what Yuugo could never do: be purely childish and follow your heart without reservations as if you only life once - Lucas' eyes were sparkling with a half broken expression - " He always said your path would be dangerous and difficult..."
" That's why, Yuugo's last wish was for us to help you fulfill that you decided to set for yourself, Norman " - Oliver added with a smile and a laugh
" Yeah...you see, we were Yuugo's students back when he teached about his scientific discoveries and we knew how odd he was...but that was that made in special and a great teacher " - Zack smiled to Oliver and faced Norman
" The guys was really weird! Always going about about how smart you were, how you were meant to destroy everything he built and all...it kinda creeped us out, you know?" - Gillian said as she looked back from the piloting room
Destroy everything he built? But isn't that the worst thing he could -
" Yuugo always called you... the judgment show angel of the moonlight...that descended from the moon to punish him for ignoring his heart and live restrained by society " - Lucas passed his note book to an incredulous Norman - " This is Yuugo's notes that he left behind and that he asked me to give to you when you were ready to know the truth"
Norman picked the notebook as someone who pick a corpse, a precious memory. He hoped that by touching the light cover he could feel Yuugo's hair again, find the traces of his face and his smut smile. But he only found a old book and the pages were all the same
His fingers trembled and everyone looked away from him, only Lucas kept looking at Norman as his pale fingers passed the first page to see that was behind it. He started reading it for himself as if he opened a tales book, as if he was reading it for children to listen
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" If this notebook find you well, I'll be finally able to say that I was the luckiest man alive!
I know that leaving a note behind like this is cheesy as hell and I'm sorry if your old man here is being a sentimental father now. Norman...you may ask...why did my father tell me all that pointless stuff? It's a really nice question don't you think?
This letter will be nice and simple cuz it must be: I had many regrets in my life. I always denied myself and turned out to be a scientist when I've always wanted to be a painter and cursed myself for that everyday. I neve treated my parents right and abandoned my friends when they needed me the most . I destroyed all that was created before me, to support me and that I needed to destroy to move on, I content myself with it and told myself there was nothing I could have done
Still, this world gave me plenty of changes and I trew them all away... Even if I wanted to curse my life Lucas appeared in that cursed life and made my regrets more bearable. I also regret not loving him openly like he deserved
But you? You were the greatest bless in my life. Even not connected by blood, Norman my son, I always felt like we were connected...maybe by this original emptiness that no one can fulfill inside our hearts. I wanted to free you from the regrets that might hunt you forever.
I'm sorry if I projected that I wanted to be in you, if I forced you into anything and put you in this dangerous situation. But I just want to say that whatever the situation you're in or how much you've changed
I'm proud of you for destroying the legacy of cowardice that I left you and live purely like a child, with responsibilities but without regrets. I hope that you leave, whatever you leave behind will be a legacy that you can be proud of : a great adventure, a great feeling...
Don't blame yourself for choosing the hardest way and drag people into your mess in the process. If the people you drag with you are the ones I suspect they are, they glady go with you, not out of pity or duty but because they saw in you the same I did
If you put your mind into something Norman, you can make people feel that the impossible is in fact in reach of their hands. You are not a hero or a saviour, the world indeed corrupt you like everyone else but...
You had the courage to face that corruption and choose that everyone is afraid to
The most obvious answer
The most difficult answer
The directions of your heart
You will suffer for that answer and you might lose something that breaks your heart. I also regret not being there to see you cry and comfort you, but I trust that the one that made your heart this broken, selfish and lovely struggles as much as you do while holding you in their arms, whoever that person is
Please, tell them to take good care of my precious moonlight angel, the man who will forever be a child in my eyes. Your hopeless father will always treat you like child and I apologize for that in advance, all right?
Damn this letter is already to long! See? I can never set my mind for anything I want to do. This goodbye is harder and I tough and I still don't know myself. I should have told you this looking into your ocean eyes, right? I miss them... please try to forgive your worthless dad and remember
Love is the ultimate state of selfishness
If you realized that by now, your odd man here can rest
Take care my dear child,
From your ever messy dad,
Yuugo "
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Norman smiled and without noticing, large and wet tears covered his face like a waterfall. He wanted to laugh and cry so hard! That letter was Yuugo's letter for sure, his handwriting was indeed messy.
And it hurted so dearly, that he left him with so many regrets, that he left him without a hug or a word, face to face, eyes to eyes, that a illness took him without saying so first... He wanted to rip off that letter, deny all he said, to remake his words. Norman placed the notebook next to his chest, as if a wave of pain made him unable to breath out anything.
Legacy of cowardice? He being able to face the corruption of society? Purely live like a child? Free him from his regrets?
Norman was angry, so very angry and revolted
" What kind of bullshit is this father? I'm the not the man I want or you wanted me to be! I didn't managed to accomplish anything! You didn't free me from regrets! I have regrets everyday of my life and I don't face them! Why did you called yourself a coward? You dreamed higher than anyone you could see more than everyone could! "
Who gave him the right to ?
" Don't be sorry! I won't forgive you like this? How dare you say goodbye to me like this! How can you force such selfish love on me? I'm still a clueless child, nothing more than that!"
How could he be like that?
" I'm proud to call myself your son! I'm so proud of your legacy and everything you left me! I don't wan to destroy that you built, I want to built something new, next to what you worked to hard on! Don't you realize you left me these amazing people? Isn't that more enough?"
He din't know anything...
" You hopeless bastard! I won't forgive you and I forbid you from resting! You're not allowed to leave me yet! I also crave this type of love that only you can give to me! I forbid you!"
Lucas embraced Norman as he twitched himself in the helicopter's ground. With the page close to his heart, Norman promised himself that he would never forgive Yuugo. He wouldn't accept his apologies for not being there for him, for being messy or for forcing his hopes on him, He was better than that, and everyone on the place knew that, so very well
His tears covered the ground, so blue and so transparent, Norman wondered that if he kept crying until he drove all the water inside himself, maybe, just maybe, he could create a sky or a sea inside that silent place.
He wondered if Yuugo was in one of those clouds, smiling with that smut perfect smile on his lips as he cursed the cloud itself for being to slow in the sky. That image comforted him, because if coulds could change vapor into water, maybe...he could change that sorrow into happiness
A sad happiness crafted with pain and longing
He didn't wanted to free himself from him...not just yet
" I forbid you as well, you moron! - Lucas screamed leaving Norman's uninformed eyes impious at him - I told Norman that loving is also knowing when letting go the one you love but...I won't let you go! You don't deserve to be free from us after you did this to Norman! He is my son to you know!? Yuggo you asshole!"
" Yeah! Fuck off Yuugo! You stupid moron!" - Gillian screamed as Norman smiled
How did the whole crew started cursing Yuugo just like that? Hell, that didn't mind because the dawn was right before them. The Saturn helicopter turned into a nostalgic lively place full of words that should be censured.
But Yuugo didn't deserved that, not after the letter he gave him.
Norman smiled as Nigel and Violet joined Oliver, Gillian and Zack in cursing Yuugo. That pain on his chest was breaking him, a familiar pain that he knew to well: the pain of being flawed, the pain of struggling, and the pain of...
Loving someone too dearly
As the dawn illuminated the sky or sea he created with his sorrow, Norman looked trough the window as he smiled. He would treasure that pain because just like Emma, Yuugo was a pain to him, just like Emma he could imagine his lungs beautifully filled with followers that would suffocate him
" Just like Emma, you're a good troublesome pain, worthless dad"
He was ready
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Art credit's go to: @finsuess on Twitter !
Thank you so much for reading this chapter! All the credits for the art , cape and AU ideia and comics of this fanfic are to @stray_tori on Tumblr, Twitter and Instagram! Please go check her fantastic art!
Note: Mika-hime changed her name so please search her art by the new name of her account!
Thank you so much and see you soon!