I was done with another mentoring session, somehow all the younger trainees came to me for advice, and I offered all of them as much as I could. I had noticed Hui being in the same position, as he was giving up his free time too to help the younger generation out.

My throat was sore. I would hunt down some hot tea in a moment because I had been vocal training Ara and Choonhae in the last hour. They were both making progress and I could see a spark returning to Choonhae's eyes.

As I was closing the studio and ready for bed, I ran straight into someone.

"Minlee," Trainer Kooyoung's voice startled me. He always used my real name. Something I wasn't sure I still deserved. I was Lux now. I would always be Lux. "What are you doing here so late?"

"I could ask you the same thing," I gave him a feeble smile, the tiredness had now truly found me.

"Make sure you don't take on too many burdens. You are here first and foremost for yourself. I have seen you in training taking care of the others."

His eyes darted over my face, searching for answers he wouldn't find. I was an empty shell when it came to bliss.

"Don't," he said next as he saw my fears. "Don't go there, Minlee."

"I won't prioritize myself," my fist clenched, "never again."

"Minlee-"

"No," I stopped him a little too harshly. "No, please. Don't. I know what you are going to say, and I don't want to hear it." I might be out of line talking to our trainer and senior like this. But the two of us had a bond. In two weeks' time, we had gotten close. He had the odd quality of seeing right through my façade.

"What happened to Quasar-"

Nope. Not doing this. Not here. Not now.

Not with my tiredness making me raw to all emotions, and I was not taking myself there. Not the night before eliminations. Tomorrow we would say goodbye to a whopping fifty people, twenty-five boys, and twenty-five girls, and I was close to many trainees. I saw Jinnie in all of them. I needed to be mentally ready, and Kooyoung would not take me back to Quasar and the scandal. Not tonight.

I turned my back on him. It was rude of me, but I walked away into the abandoned corridor with a fast stride.

I heard a loud sigh and footsteps hurrying after me.

"Minlee!" His voice was stern now. "Wait!"

"I can't!" I said with the tears already lacing my voice in hoarseness. "Don't talk to me about Quasar tonight. I won't hear it. I won't speak about it. Please respect my wishes."

"Nobody blames you, Minlee."

The words cut me hard because they were blatant lies. I had a big part to play in the story and was one of the villains in it. He had no right.

"Well, they should!" I yelled as I felt my anger rising. Something I haven't felt as clearly as the day I realized I had been played. "They should!"

Kooyoung closed his eyes for a second, trying to bite through emotions.

"I have never seen a case as troublesome as the Quasar case, Minlee. I'm sorry for what you went through. For what your group went through. Nobody should have endured any of it, and you all were so young too. It breaks my heart for what they did to you. What he did to you."

His hands found my shoulders as deep sobs started to rack through me. I felt like ugly crying for the first time in weeks. Months maybe. Maybe I had never truly felt the impact of any of it, not really.

His fingertips pressed down hard on my shoulders as he repressed the urge to drag me in for a hug. I saw all of it in his stance. It was open and trusting. It was something a respectful trainer and manager should have been. Something I had never experienced, and Kooyoung made me see it could have been so different. Whoever debuted in this group at the end of this thing would be safe and taken care of.

He said the words I was thinking.

"And he... he... was the worst of all. As your manager, he should have protected you. He got what he deserved."

Yet, Jinnie died.

So nothing would be enough to atone for that. There was no hill left for me to die on. Not with her gone.