The press conference and editorial pictures of me and Hanbin had been leaked yesterday afternoon and when I had been completely drained from all of it, I had seen Jiwoong waiting on me by my dorm room. I had taken a hard left, the coward way out, and had sped myself straight to Billie's dorm to avoid him.

When I returned hours later, he had been gone.

I had been thinking about it all night.

During the elimination announcement, he had been trying to make eye contact but I had purposely not glanced in his direction. I am fully aware of what this must look like but unable to snap myself out of it.

I was in a speeding train, thundering towards a dangerous abyss, with no brakes or solutions in sight. I would not drag Ji down with me, not after everything he has done for me and the instant friendship I cherished so much. Despite my romantic feelings, he was my friend first and foremost.

Other trainees were consoling me backstage for my dropped rankings. Hanbin, as a guy in this industry, was held to a slightly different standard and had not lost as many votes as me. Still, he had dropped. He had told me not to worry about it, but I couldn't help but feel guilty.

I had done this to him...

Jiwoong had left the backstage almost immediately, not giving me another glance. With a pang of sadness, I realized I had done that too.

Good job, Alli.

Half an hour later I stumbled through my dorm room door, barely able to keep my head up when I noticed someone sitting on my bed. I would never mistake those long legs for anyone else.

"Ji?" I asked with a high-pitched voice. Suddenly anxious.

He poked his head from underneath the bunk bed with a tired smile. His eyes trailed over my body and rested on my face. I must have looked like shit right now.

"Finally," he rose to his full height. "You were not easy to get alone, jagiya."

He put his hands in his pockets, and I noticed he was wearing no make-up and his glasses. He must have changed out of it quickly a few moments ago.

I didn't know what to say. I just stood there.

"You look exhausted," he sighed and walked my way. I let him approach. "I know what happened."

I raised my brows. How did he know? He isn't supposed to know! For his own safety!

"Lux," he explained.

She had no right to tell him. I would deal with her later.

"She shouldn't have told you anything," I snapped and slipped away from the arms which were trying to hug me.

"Allison," Jiwoong said in his stern voice. "I'm glad she did. Because you weren't going to tell me, were you?"

"No, I wasn't, Ji. Because you need to focus on this competition."

He remained quiet. Stoic even. Those hands were back in his pockets. His dark eyes twirling with things unsaid.

Despite everything, my body still sang around him. He would bring the sunshine out of me, even in these dire circumstances. My feelings couldn't lie not even if I tried my very best to tune them out.

"I want this. I want to debut more than almost anything," his hand snatched out, and I couldn't evade it this time. His warm hand found my shoulder and pulled me in closer. I wanted to whisper not to say the words. To not make this even more complicated. I needed him to be the Jiwoong from three days ago, someone who had firmly planted me in the friend zone. I needed the old Ji. Not this new version we had created in the whirlwind of the last couple of days.

Don't say it.

I closed my eyes when he continued.

"And I also want you. You are the almost I want to risk everything for, jagiya."

All air left me because, despite everything, he was still all I could see.

"I know we've only known each other for a short time, but... I can't stop thinking about you," he said, his voice barely above a whisper. "When the Hanbin thing started happening, I knew I was falling for you because I never get jealous. Ever, Allison."

I felt my cheeks flush and my heart beat faster. I secretly hoped he felt the same way, but hearing him say it out loud was a different story.  It changes things, and I can't do change. I needed something else right now.

"Jiwoong..." I said, my voice shaking. "We can't do this."

He nodded, also realizing we were in dangerous waters. My relationship with Hanbin was the only thing keeping me here. If anyone found out, netizens or Hannah especially, all three of our careers would be over.

"I can't believe we are in this situation," I admitted. "I don't want to drag you down with me, Jiwoong. You have seen my ranking. You can still step out of this, and I will understand."

He laughed as if I was the funniest thing in the world to him.

"I can't step out of this. That would be entirely impossible now. You got me, and I'm not leaving."

I can't believe his words. I can't believe he would feel the same way. I also can't believe he would risk his career for me. I wasn't deserving.

"I don't deserve you," I shuddered honestly as he kissed me. It was a sweet kiss. It was needed and welcomed. I wanted more, and my traitorous body leaned into his until my mind snapped taut with warning signals.

Anybody could run in on us in here. If anyone found out...and with those cameras everywhere...

Well, Lux already knew, but she's the only one, and we need to keep it that way.

"If anything, I don't deserve you, jagiya. Don't you forget that."