I'm Sorry

A/N: I don't like reading angst but I keep coming up with angsty ideas. I'd like to apologize in advance for making you a horrible person in this. The video is my favorite Reid edit so watch it if you want.


Angst (if you didn't catch that already)


Word Count: 1,941


You packed up your last bag. Your son was at the zoo with the babysitter. Now was your chance. Your fiancé, Spencer who proposed to you after you told him you were pregnant, was on the jet heading back. He'd be home tonight. Your son, Toby, was only about five weeks ago.


You could not do this. You couldn't take care of a kid. You couldn't be married. You loved Spencer but everything was just moving too fast. You were only dating for eight months before you got pregnant then engaged.


You knew you'd probably regret this later but you did it anyways. You had carefully planned this out. It started when you first couldn't get Toby to stop crying. Spencer was only home for two weeks after Toby was born. He was gone a lot which would mean you'd be his main caretaker.


You couldn't do that. You couldn't take care of a child.


Since Spencer was an FBI agent, you had taken several precautions so he couldn't find you.


One, you got a new phone and number. You left your old one at the house.


Two, you got a haircut and highlights.


Three, you got rid of all your credit cards, got new ones, and changed banks.


Four, you cleared your search history.


And lastly, you moved far, all the way to Denver.


You took your things and you left. You left your phone, the ring, and a note.


The note said,


Spencer,


I'm sorry. I can't do this. I love you.


- Y/n


You felt bad for him. Really bad. But you had to put yourself first.


You had everything set up for your departure. You knew people in Denver who could get you a job easy. You had resigned from your previous job. You already had your hair done. You looked for places to live and found an apartment. The only thing left was to drive all the way to Denver.


You met up with the people and started your new life.


SPENCER'S POV


I had just gotten back to the BAU. There was still some work to do before I could back home. Then I got a call from the babysitter, Luna.


I answered, "Hello Luna"


"Dr. Reid, I think you should come home like right now. It's Y/n, uh" Luna said.


Terror filled my mind. What if she got kidnapped? Or worse murdered? I've seen people do horrible things.


I asked, "What happened? Is she okay?"


"She left. She's gone"


She left? But we're supposed to get married. And what about Toby? How could she have just left him? He needed her. I needed her.


"Oh, I have work that really needs to be done but I'll be there as soon as I can"


I hung up on the babysitter.


JJ saw my face and asked, "Spence, are you okay?"


"Y/n left" I told her.


"Oh Spence, I'm so sorry"


JJ hugged me and I started breaking down in her arms. I couldn't believe what I had just been told. Y/n left me and Toby like my dad left me and my mom. Okay they're pretty different scenarios but my point still stands.


How could she do this?? To me? To Toby?? Our own son? Toby Morgan Reid...


Prentiss and Morgan saw me and JJ. They came over and joined the hug. Then Garcia joined  our group hug. Then Rossi and finally Hotch.


It must have looked pretty weird to anyone not in the hug.


Hotch was the first to break away, "Why are hugging?"


Everyone else broke away from the hug. Garcia was the last one to break away.


JJ answered, "Y/n left"


Prentiss asked, "Did she take Toby?"


"No" I replied.


"Oh honey, I'm so sorry" Garcia pulled me into another hug.


Hotch gave me a few days to get readjusted. I had to hire another babysitter. Now I was paying two babysitters to watch my son while I worked. I couldn't leave the BAU. It just wouldn't feel right to leave even though I did consider it.


Back to sorta your POV


Eight months passed. You felt horrible for what you did to Toby and Spencer. You tried to make excuses for yourself like you needed to focus on yourself for once and you couldn't do it. Those were lies but you knew you couldn't go back.


You had just arrived at a coffee shop to meet your friend Iris. You locked your car.


Someone's hand came over your mouth. You tried to scream but it was muffled. A few seconds later, everything went black.


Half an hour later, your friend Iris started to get worried. She called you but no answer. She looked outside the parking lot and found your car but not you. She called out your name. No response.


She called her dad who was the police captain. She had heard about the recent murders of women. Her father warned her to be careful even though she didn't fit the victim type herself. Women with Y/h/c hair, y/e/c eyes, and middle class.


The BAU was called in to help investigate the murders.


The police captain announced to the team, "Guys I think we have another possible victim. Y/n L/n, she was supposed to met her friend for coffee half an hour ago but she never showed. Her car is in the parking lot of the shop but Y/n's nowhere to be found"


"Y/n L/n?" questioned Dr. Reid.


"Yes"


The team all glanced at Reid to see his reaction. Y/n broke his heart and now she was in danger. The time the unsub kept his victims alive was going down with each victim. Y/n didn't have much time.


Reid asked, "Does the parking lot of the coffee shop have cameras?"


Captain Joe West replied, "I believe so yeah"


"We need to get that footage" stated Prentiss.


Reid and Prentiss went to the coffee shop and got the footage. They started reviewing it and sent it to Garcia. The unsub made a mistake. He got sloppy. The camera got a view of his face.


Reid asked, "Garcia, who is that?"


Garcia responded, "Let me run it. Really quick. Uh huh. It's Nicholas Bishop. He's currently unemployed and was recently divorced. I just sent you his address"


"Thanks, Garcia. Let's go" commented Prentiss.


His house was closed to the station then the coffee shop so the rest of the team and the police got there first.


By the time Prentiss and Reid got there, Nicolas Bishop was in the back of a cop car and you were in the back of ambulance. You were bruised and scratched but nothing serious.


You had an emergency blanket wrapped around you. An EMT was putting a bandage on your head. You saw Spencer coming to the scene.


Part of you wanted to talk to him, to apologize and see if he would let you back into his life. But the other part you didn't want to talk him knowing he would be super pissed and probably doesn't want to talk to you.


Your friend, Iris, and her boyfriend Barry who was a CSI came over to talk to you.


Iris asked, "Are you okay?"


You answered, "Yeah, I'm fine, just a little shaken up is all"


"You got kidnapped by a serial and you're fine? No, I don't buy it"


You saw something shiny on her hand. It was ring.


"Oh my god, Iris" You grabbed her hand to inspect the ring.


Iris told you, "Barry proposed! I was going to tell you when we met for coffee"


"Congratulations!"


Barry asked, "Why does that doctor guy keep looking at you?"


You knew why. He wasn't checking you out. He was debating whether or not to talk to you.


"He's so checking you out" stated Iris.


You told her, "No he's not"


"And what makes you so sure?"


"Because Iris, I did a very bad thing"


Barry asked, "Like what? Did you murder someone and they know you did it but they don't have any evidence?"


You exclaimed, "What no! I'll tell you but you guys have to promise you wouldn't judge me"


You had to make them promise. You knew Barry and Iris would. Iris's mother left and she was actually pregnant with Iris's brother, Wally. Her dad lied about it and said she died. Barry's father was put in jail for the murder of his mother which he didn't commit. They have real problems with their parents.


"We promise" said Iris.


You confessed, lEight months ago, I was engaged to him and I had his baby. I left them. I left my son and my fiancé"


"Oh my god"


"Listen, I know what I did was wrong and really bad. I really regret what I did but I don't think Spencer will ever forgive me for what I did"


Barry said, "I mean I wouldn't"


Iris elbowed here fiancé, "Barry!"


You didn't blame Barry. He was right. You wouldn't forgive yourself either.


You started to cry, "He's right, Iris. I did the worst thing I could ever do. I hurt Spencer and Toby. I love them but I still hurt them"


"Is that your son's name? Toby?" asked Iris.


"Yeah, Spencer cane up with it. Toby Morgan Reid. He's about nine months old"


You started balling and rambling but your friends couldn't understand what exactly you were saying. Iris tried to calm you down. She took you out of the back of the ambulance and to the back of her car.


Iris told you, "Y/n, sweetie. I can't understand what you're saying. How about we go get some ice cream? Does that sound good?"


"Yeah, that sounds good" you responded.


You sat in the back behind the driver, Iris. Barry sat in the front seat. You still had the emergency blanket with you.


You went to your favorite ice cream shop in Denver, Teddy's Ice Cream. You got a s'mores sundae. Iris got mint chocolate chip and Barry got chocolate chip cookie dough.


Some people came in and it was Spencer and his team. Well technically it wasn't his team but he was a part of it.


Iris said, "Oh god, please don't start crying again"


You told her, "I think I'm all cried out for today, Iris"


"Just eat your ice cream and then we'll take you home"


"My car. I need my car. It's still at the coffee shop"


"We can get it tomorrow"


"Okay"


Spencer's POV again


I saw Y/n sitting there with her friends eating a sundae. I didn't know whether of not to talk to her. I hated what she did but I knew I still loved her. I couldn't help it.


JJ asked me, "Are you going to talk to her?"


"I don't know" I replied.


Prentiss asked, "Do you still love her?"


I answered, "Yes"


"Then maybe you should to talk to her. She looks like she's a mess"


I thought about Toby. He needed his mom. He had grown a lot since she left. I didn't know if she had told her friends about what happened.


I went over to her. I needed to talk to her.


I asked, "Hey, can we talk?"


Tears started forming in Y/n's eyes, "Spencer, I'm sorry. I made a horrible decision. I'm really sorry. I miss you and I still love you. I messed up. Please forgive me"


"Yeah I forgive you. Just come home with me and I know Toby will be really happy that you're back"


"Thank you so much"

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