𝗖𝗵𝗮𝗽𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗧𝗲𝗻

YOU DREW STARS AROUND MY SCARS
BUT NOW IM BLEEDING.

BY THE TIME MIA HAD gotten home she didn't really think anything could get any worse than it already had. Fezco was done with her or she was done with him... after he said what he said it was all hazy. How long could she keep going in circles? How long could she keep letting him in only for him to break her heart each time?

Rue had officially burned every bridge with every person who truly cared about and there was no coming back from that. Not only had she fucked up her own but she brought down Cassie's as well.

Mia walked into her house, it was still relatively early but the sun had gone down and all she wanted to do was crawl into her bed and never leave it.

"Mia, can you come in here for a second?" Mia rolled her eyes at her mother's voice calling her from her office.

"Yes?"

"Have you heard from Rue Bennett? Has she texted you? I just got off the phone with Leslie, her mother and she's missing." No fucking shit she's missing.

Mia shook her head, "Last I saw her she was at the Howards. She took off from there."

"That girl, she needs help. You don't hang around her do you? From what I heard she's a junkie, her mother must be so disappointed I'm just glad—"

Mia couldn't stand her mother, what a fucking hypocrite she was and she just about had enough of her, "What? You're glad I'm not like her? I'm fucking perfect? As if I'm not as fucked up as her? Should we bring up my medical paperwork?"

Mia's mother looked stunned, "Mia that's not—"

"Not what Mom? Not what you fucking meant? Cause it sure sounded like it? Rue does drugs but guess what so do I, oh my god no should we admit me into rehab? You think you have this perfect fucking life with these perfect fucking kids but you don't! Your son fucking hates you which is why he chose the farthest college from here and your daughter starves herself and lets guys fuck her and then throw her to the side like trash! Does that sound perfect to you?"

"Mianna Elena Colombo!"

Mia let out a sarcastic laugh, "Oh wow yes bring out my full name! You can say that all you want but it's the truth you are a fucked up excuse for a mom. All you do is work and ignore every single problem that doesn't have to do with you. You were so happy when I was thirteen and made the choice to ignore the fact that I had gotten raped, you were so enthralled that I decidied to keep it off papers because what would the neighbors think? What would they think about Molly Colombo's baby daughter freshly thirteen and taking it from a senior in high school?"

Slap!

Mia's head was whipped to the side as her mother's hand made contact with her face, the sting of her hand and the rings she wore sending a shock to her face. Her tongue touched the inside of her cheek, tasting blood.

"Don't you ever disrespect me like that ever again!" Her mother's face was red with rage and hurt. "Me and your father have given you everything you could possibly need, you have no reason to talk to me like that."

"Everyone give it up for mother of the fucking year! I get raped and develop years worth of trauma and yet I'm the bad guy." Mia clapped, taking a few steps back. "I cannot wait till I turn eighteen so I get the fuck out of this house."

Mia ran up the stairs, slamming the door to her room and locking it.

Things always get worse.

"Do you like me?"

Fezco was half asleep when he heard her ask that question, "Do I like you?" He mumbled.

Mia nodded. "Do you like me?"

Fezco opened his eyes, blinking over and over again to wake him up. "Well you are in my bed right now and I'm not wearing any fucking socks so I would say yes."

Mia laughed, "So you do like me?"

"Yes Mia, I like you." Fezco hummed. "You like me?"

"Well I'm in your bed and we're not having sex and I have no makeup on so, so like yeah." Mia laughed.

Fezco gave Mia a lazy smile, snuggling into her more. "Good."

"Am I enough for you?"

"You're everything and fuckin' more. Nothing less, just always more." Fezco placed a kiss on Mia's shoulder. "Never doubt any feelings I got for you."

"Never?"

Fezco shook his head, "Never."

"Why do you always do that?" Ashray stood in front of Fezco as Mia ran out of the house in tears.

Fezco was stressed the fuck out, his feelings stressed him out, everything was stressing him out. "The fuck are you talking about?"

Ashtray gave him an are you dumb look, "What the fuck do you think I'm talking about? Mia, you're always fuckin with her. How many times are you gonna fuckin' do that to her? You say you love her and then you do shit like that."

"What's it to you?"

"What's it to me? That's Mia! Mia the only girl you've brought home besides fuckin' Rue! Mia the girl who made it her mission to buy me those learning books so I could learn how to read and write and do fuckin' math! The one who cooked dinner and cleaned up the house while you were sick for a week! Mia's family and you stay treating her like shit!" Ashtray was angry, Mia was practically his sister. He might have never shown his true appreciation for her to her face but it was there. "And don't think I don't notice that other fuckin' girl you be talking to."

Fezco just shook his head, "Just mind your fuckin' business bruh."

He refused to argue with a twelve year old, he also refused to get angry and say something he'd regret later. Ashtray didn't deserve to be blamed, he did what he had to do. Nate Jacobs was the cause of the nightmare of a fucking butterfly effect that was occuring to the O'Neills.

Fezco looked down at his phone as it dinged indicating a text.

LEXI HOWARD
is everything okay? you haven't texted in a while :/

It was silent. Everything was silent.

How do you fuck things up so bad? How do you fuck things up so bad with the people you care about most? What makes you decide to do or say things that you know will mess everything up? How do you make things right? How do you go back to the person you once were?

"And jump!" Maddy screamed and so did Mia as she cannon balled off the diving board right into the pool.

The water felt cool on her hot skin and she felt instantly refreshed as she resurfaced, "Was that big? Was the splash big?"

Maddy nodded her head, "It was humongous Mia, like pow!" She opened her hands wide.

"Girls, I made sandwiches!" Mia's mom called out.

Mia quickly got out of the pool, wrapping herself in a towel. "Put Doritos in them so good." Maddy giggled, squishing her sandwich.

"I put Hot Cheetos." Mia nodded, "Spicy."

The girls were in a fit of giggles, everything was funny when you're thirteen.

"I got a message on Instagram last night from a guy who's in high school!" Maddy beamed. "He invited us to a party!"

Mia raised her brow, "A high school party?"

"Yeah, it's supposed to be fun he said." Maddy took another bite out of her sandwich.

"Okay, yeah sounds fun." Mia nodded.

Mia had not spoken to either of her parents, but it wasn't like they had tried talking to her. I don't think her mother even wanted to see her, having to be reminded that she had slapped her daughter by the small bruise that formed a little bit under her right eye on her cheek.

"If you want to kill her I can help." Mia spoke into the phone. "I swear I got your back."

Maddy let out a small laugh, "I'm actually thinking about it."

"It's weird because a part of me can't believe it but the other part of me can, like it's Cassie."

"Exactly it's Cassie... I thought she was one of my best friends?" Maddy was pacing back and forth on her side of the line, "What would you do?"

Mia shuddered at the thought of someone close to her fucking Fezco. "I have no idea but I know it wouldn't look pretty."

"You're the silent type of violent. The type that would just snap out of nowhere, it's scary. I might have to let you deal with Nate."

Mia shook her head even though she knew Maddy couldn't see her, "I think you should deal with him. Which leads me to my next question, how are you going to deal with him?"

"I have a few ideas." The way Maddy spoke Mia knew that she really did have things brewing in her mind.

"Well when you do plan on getting Cassie for reals I'll be ready to jump in for you, she deserves it." Mia laughed.

"Alright, I'll see you later Theo just got back from his book club so I gotta make him lunch."

"Just text me when you're home so I can come over, I'm not really trying to be home right now." Mia frowned.

"Okay, bye love you."

"Love you too." 

Mia hung up the phone letting it fall onto her chest as she stared at her ceiling. She was tired, the energy from her house was sucking the life out of her. She couldn't go to Lexi's because she'd probably beat Cassie's ass and Kat wasn't home... Her mind was really foggy.

"Mia?"

"I really fucking hate you."

"I'm sorry."

"I really, really fucking hate you."

"I know."

"And I really hate that I still love you, even though you keep hurting me."

"I'm sorry."

"Why can't we be together? Why?"

"I'm not gonna do this with you Mia..."

Mia could feel the tears well up in her eyes, slowly dripping down her cheek. "Please."

"I'm gonna hang up now."

"I hate you."

"I love you."

The phone went silent and then cut off, signaling that he had hung up.

Mia wanted to stop crying, she wanted to so badly but she couldn't. How could he make her fall so madly and deeply in love with him just so he could break her heart. Why didn't he want to be with her?

Before she knew it she was driving in the pouring rain toward Fezco's house, she was determined to get the answer that was not letting her heal, that was making her hold onto the last piece she had of Fezco.

She ran out of her car, not caring that she was getting soaking wet and started banging on the door, hearing the soft melody of Stand By Me playing on the other side of the door.

"Fezco open the door! Please! Open the door!" She probably looked crazy, her mascara running from her tears and the rain.

The door opened only slightly, revealing a portion of Fezco, the metal door separating the two. "What are you doing here Mia?"

"Please just tell me, please."

Fezco looked behind him before stepping outside, closing the door behind him.

"You can't be doing this Mia, it's not good for you. I'm not good for you."

Mia was over that fucking excuse, "Please just shut the fuck up with that! Please just stop, just tell me! Tell me, was I not enough? You say you're still in love with me but you don't want to be with me? Please Fezco."

Fezco looked over Mia's face, his heart instantly racing as he saw the outline of bruise on her cheek. The foundation and concealer she had applied to it earlier in the day rubbing off due to her tears and the rain.

"Who the fuck did that to you?" Fezco' voice had turned harder. "Who put their fuckin' hands on you?"

Mia shook her head, "No! No, you don't get to ask me fucking questions when you refuse to answer the one I need you to."

"Mia I'm not playing who put their fucking hands on you? Was it Nate? Did he fuckin' do that?" Fezco was just about ready to end his life, his mind going back to the gun he kept under his pillow.

"No! God Fezco, it wasn't fucking Nate Jacobs! I– I just need to know, please tell me what I did? Why you don't want to be with me? You said that you didn't love me the first time but I know that's not true now so what is it?" Mia was beyond her breaking point.

"I don't know what you want from me?"

Then suddenly, the worst thing that Mia could have thought of came to her. "Is there someone else?"

Fezco shifted, glancing back to the door and back at Mia, "I don't know what you're trying to say?"

Mia felt like she been stabbed. "Fezco..."

"Mia I think you should go, I don't want to hurt you anymore." In truth fezco would have immedilt brought Mia into hsi arms and into his home as soon as he saw her, he would have kissed her and told her he was sorry. But on the other side of the door sat Lexi Howard, and if Mia knew that she wouldn't care that Lexi was one of her closest friends all she would see was a girl who was not her sitting on Fezco's couch.

"Fezco please tell me there's not another girl, please tell me that you didn't leave me because of another girl."

"Mia you really should go, it's late I don't need you—"

"Is she fucking here? Do you have her here? Is that why you want me to leave? Why you haven't let me in the house even though it's fucking freezing and I have a bruise on my cheek? The Fezco I fucking know would have immediately let me in, no matter what. Is there a fucking girl in your house?!" She was yelling and crying.

"I can't help you Mia."

He didn't deny it.

It was like he had stuck his hand through her chest and pulled her heart out, he didn't want to be with her because there was someone else. He had done it, he fully broke everything that was attached to him; everything that made Mia love him was destroyed.

"You're fucking dead to me." Mia whispered, looking him in his eyes. "You are fucking dead to me, I wish I never fucking met you. I wish I never fell in love with you, I wish that you never fucking existed. You are fucking dead to me."

How could someone make another person feel so loved and secure and also make them anxious, sad and betrayed?

"Maddy, I'm coming over." Mia sobbed into her phone as she reached her voicemail.

The sobs she was letting out were uncontrollable at that point and she was surprised she had made it to Maddy's house without swerving off the road and crashing.

"She's in her room." Maddy's mom smiled as Mia walked in.

Mia kept it together as she walked up the stairs of Maddy's house into her room, "Maddy?"

She could feel her heart drop as she saw her best friend curled up in a ball at the edge of her bed, her in a hiccup of cries. "Maddy? What happened?"

Maddy just shook her head, "Can you– Can you just hug me?"

Mia nodded climbing onto her bed, not noticing the bullets that were placed on the corner of the sheets. She wrapped her arms around Maddy placing a kiss to the back of her head. "Is everything okay?"

Maddy shook her head, "Just hold me please." She whispered.

Mia nodded, cuddling in closer, a single tear dropping. "I understand."

AUTHOR'S NOTE,
double whammy! sorry about this chapter, it was...

mia my baby she has a fuck ton of trauma that she has not even unpacked fully, like damn.

maybe i'll give a backstory to mia's parent bc they got some problems of their own, especially her mother. i def left a lot in the air.

that scene of lexi and fez was so cute :') it's only going to get worse for mia i fear... like it's going to get really bad... VERY BAD... i feel bad ... SAM LEVINSON IT WASNT SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE THIS!

anyways maddy and mia are gonna k!ll nate and jump the howard sisters... have a nice night! love y'all 😇