๐Ÿฌ๐Ÿด. ex factor


๐—–๐—ต๐—ฎ๐—ฝ๐˜๐—ฒ๐—ฟ ๐—˜๐—ถ๐—ด๐—ต๐˜

you said you'd die for me,
why won't you live for me?








SHE COULD HEAR THEM TALKING... It's not like they were very quiet, Ashtray always seemed to be talking loudly.

"The hell? When did she get here?"

"Yo be quiet and close the door."

Mia shifted under the blankets as she heard the door closing. She felt the signs of a headache coming on, she didn't drink that much but she was mixing stuff and that was never good for her.

"You awake?" She heard Fezco's voice shuffle next to her. "I got you some water and like aspirin if you need it."

Mia blinked as he opened the blinds letting the sun in, she took a second to sit up and stretch letting out a yawn taking the aspirin. "I need to brush my teeth."

Fez laughed, "That's always the first thing you do."

Mia grimaced. "I can taste the shit in my mouth, I don't like it." She got up off the bed, quickly sliding on the pants that were given to her the night before that she chose not to wear. "Is my toothbrush. . ."

"Uh, yeah same place." He nodded.

Mia nodded, walking out the room into the hallway.

"Morning." Mia nodded at Faye who was sitting on the couch, still half asleep.

She gave back a lazy wave.

"So you and Fez back together or?" Ashtray jumped out from nowhere.

Mia shook her head walking into the restroom. She closed the door and almost screamed as she looked at herself in the mirror, how could she forget to take off her makeup. She looked underneath the sink in hopes that they hadn't thrown out something she had left there when she was still with Fezco.

"Oh thank you god." She quickly grabbed her toothbrush and the small black travel bag full of skincare and makeup that was there in case of emergencies.

After brushing her teeth and taking off her makeup, she felt almost lighter. Some people just wouldn't understand the simplicity of skincare and how it affects a person's mental health. She quickly put everything back in its place leaving the restroom just as she found it.

"Are you sure y'all ain't back together?" Ashtray popped out from his room, looking at the clothes Mia was wearing. "Because. . ."

"When you make some friends, you'll understand." Mia laughed walking away. "Toodles."

Mia smiled as she heard Ash smack his teeth and close his room door.

"What time is it?" Mia asked as she walked back into Fez's room, him lying on the bed scrolling at his phone.

"Eleven-twenty six. God damn it's early." He yawned.

Mia picked up her phone from his dresser, "How could I forget you both sleep in till two in the afternoon." She put her phone down as she messaged her mom saying that she'd be spending the day at Lexi'sโ€” Which wasn't a lie they had texted in the group chat that they were all meeting there again to rehash the events of last night. Plus Mia did have to pick up her car at some point during the day.

"I cannot believe you still have these up." Taped to his mirror was an array of pictures of different things, a picture of his grandma, a forced polaroid of Ashtray and Mia on his birthday, one that stood out the most to her being the photo booth strip of the two from a while back, one picture blocked out in black sharpie. "This day was fun." Mia mumbled.

.

.

.

"Fez I have to fucking pee." Mia squirmed in the passenger's seat.

Groaning Fez pulled off the freeway, "I told you to pee before we left. You're so stubborn like a fuckin' kid."

"I didn't have to pee, I would have popped a blood vessel if I forced myself to." Mia whined, "Look there's a random store just pull in there."

As soon as Fez pulled into the parking lot Mia jumped out practically running inside the weird store. "Is it okay if I use the restroom? Please?" She begged the lady at the front who looked bored out of her mind.

"Only if you buy something." She smacked her gum.

Mia could have punched her if it weren't for Fez, "I got it. I'll buy something just let her use the restroom please?"

The lady looked in between the two, before smacking her gum again. "Restrooms in the back, 511 is the passcode."

"Oh thank fuck." Mia breathed out, sprinting towards the end of the aisle and punching in the numbers. She would have thrown up if she didn't have to pee so bad when she walked into the restroom, it was bad. Like real bad and if she knew it would be that bad she wouldn't have risked an STI and just โ€“as Fezco liked calling itโ€“ popped a squat on the side of the road.

After hovering over the seat for two minutes of non stop peeing, she quickly washed her hands and exited the bathroom feeling a whole lot better.

"Did you take a shit?" Fez asked as soon as Mia walked out of the restroom putting his nose up to the air. He had been waiting for her after buying a pack of cigarettes, one already hanging from his lips.

"That's just the restroom, plus girl's don't shit." Mia quickly took the cigarette out from in between his lips, "Did you really buy cigs? I don't think they allow these where we're going."

Mia checked around the store, Fezco following behind her.

"I left my pack at home." Fez wrapped his arms around Mia's waist, making her almost trip as she walked toward the exit.

Mia stuck her tongue out at him, "I'd rather you just smoke a blunt."

"I was gonna do that anyway baby." Fez joked, placing a kiss on her cheek.

The two were almost out of the store when Mia's eyes fell on an old looking photo booth at the corner next to the exit. "Oh my god they have a photo booth!" She looked up at Fez with a pleading smile.

"C'mon." Fez shook his head, leading her into the tight space. "We're doing this once and then we're leaving, your ass already got us behind schedule."

Mia smiled sheepishly as she sat herself on Fez's lap, the space seemingly made for only one person. She watched as he inserted a five dollar bill, pressing start. It just counted down, not really giving any warning,

1... 2... Smile!

Mia leaned her head against Fezco's smiling, watching in the reflection as the cigarette somehow ended up back in Fezco's mouth.

1... "Take it outta your mouth!" 2... Smile!

Fezco quickly took the cigarette out, licking up Mia's face making Mia laugh.

1... "Fezco, ew!" 2... Smile!

Mia, feeling brave, stood up a little where her head was cut off from the frame, lifting up her shirt revealing that she wasn't wearing a bra. Fez's eyes widened before he attached his mouth to one of her boobs.

1... "Alright enough of that nasty shit mama, give me a kiss." 2... Smile!

Fezco grabbed Mia's face pressing his lips against hers, a smile appearing on Mia's lips as they kissed.

All done!

Mia quickly got out of the booth, grabbing the pictures from the side as if someone was going to steal them and see her boobs. She smiled looking down at them, Fez snatching one of the two.

"Yeah, I ain't letting no one see this one." Fez shook his head grinning like a school boy as he looked down at the third picture.

Mia wrapped her arm around his waist as they walked back to the car, "I hope not."

Fez leaned down, placing a kiss on Mia's lips, opening the car door for her. "For my eyes and my eyes only."

Mia looked over the strip once more as Fez pulled out of the parking lot, "I love these."

I love you.

"Excited?" Fezco asked, pulling back onto the freeway.

Mia nodded excitedly, "I've always wanted to go to Disneyland."

.

.

.

Times like those felt so long ago, in a way everything was much more simpler for the two. No one knew anything; it was just them in their world and in an odd way it worked out better for the two that way.

"Do you ever want to go back?" Mia mumbled, "Like just us?"

Fezco could already sense where the conversation was going. "What do you mean?"

Mia looked back at him, "You know what I mean."

Fezco could feel his neck grow hot, he watched as Mia stared at him intently waiting for his answer. He had his answer, he had the answer he truly wanted, the answer that would only end up with Mia hurt but then again that was always the outcome with him... he just knew that if he let it happen again, let his guard down it would only be a matter of time before shit hit the fan like it always did. "All the fuckin' time..."

Mia smiled, moving in closer towards him. "So why can't we? Why can't we just do it, Fezco I love you and I know you love me too. This friendship bullshit is not us. We can never just be friends."

Fezco gave the girl a soft smile. God, he loved her. How insane of him to be so in love with someone that it hurts so bad. "I love you Mia. You're the love of my fuckin' life, you've always been the love of my life and it was something I knew as soon as I saw your ass walk into that stupid book class." He gently brought his hand up, rubbing his thumb against her cheek letting Mia fall into his palm. "It's always gonna be you."

This was the feeling Mia had been chasing her whole life, the feeling of being loved by someone so deep that it feels like your life is complete; like your heart is full.

"But..."

There was always a but, there could never not be a but. It was the first strike at her heart.

"But what?" Mia practically whispered.

Fezco tried his best to keep a straight face, he tried to keep a straight face knowing the words that were about to come out of his mouth were going to break the heart of someone he loved. "I'm not the love of your life."

That was the second strike at her heart.

"What are you trying to say?"

"I'd die for you Mia but I'm not gonna let you die for me. I'm not gonna drag you into the shit I made, I can't." It was the third strike and Mia could feel herself already begin to crumble. "I'm not a good person, you are. You have this whole life planned out, the college you want to go to, the job you want, the family. I can't even see myself a year from now, if I'm not dead I'm in jail it's fuckin' inevitable."

Mia didn't notice until the tears were dripping down on the sheet in front of her, she was sobbing. "Why are you doing this? Why do you always do this? Whyโ€“ Why can't you just get it through your head that I love you and that I want to be with you?" She didn't realize she was yelling.

How many strikes until your hearts out? How many more kicks until you realize it isn't going to work?

"You always say that you'd die for me, why can't you live for me? Why can't you just fucking accept my love and just let me be with you, let me be there for you? And if the shit that you say does happen why can't you just let me be there? If you're gonna die, why can't I be there? If you go to jail why can't I wait for you?" She was sick of being told what to feel, what to do.

Fezco grew angry at the words that came out so carelessly, "Are you fucking dumb? Why the fuck would I want you with me if I'm dying? Why the fuck would I want you waiting while I do time? This is the exact shit I don't want!"

The yelling had not stopped and on the other side of the closed door Ashtray was pacing, ready to break up anything not that either of them would let it get to that point.

"Please Fezco..." Mia was now pleading, "Please."

Fezco's heart broke at the sight of Mia in front of him. He seemed to be always putting her in this position, he hated himself. He'd never say it out loud but he did.

Sometimes he'd lay awake at night and reflect on his life. He'd reflect on his abusive father and all the shit he used to yell at him as he'd beat him, he'd think about his fading away memories of his mother and how sweet he remembered her, he'd think about Ashtray and how fucked up he made his life; how he deserved a normal childhood and not the one he had, he'd think about his grandmother and wonder if she'd be proud of him, he'd think about Rue and the day she walked into his liquor store cheeks full of tear stains asking for whatever as long as it made her feel better, and then he'd think about Mia... He'd think about Mia's future and how she'd meet a guy in college and fall deeply in love with him. He'd probably be boring and have a name like Connor, he'd work in Tech and make good money and eventually he'd propose and they would get married and have kids. A girl named Arlo and a boy named Nico and when she'd come back to town to visit her parents she wouldn't even think about him.

It was his way of punishing himself, his way of telling himself that he wasn't a good person. Each one of these person's life he had fucked up in someway shape or form, there was no going back.

"I can't Mia."

Mia couldn't even form any words, her heart was beat blue and purple, it was completely shattered. The pieces left all over Fezco's bedroom floor.

Mia's ears were ringing, she couldn't even hear Fezco speaking to her as she walked out of his house. She didn't want to. She didn't care to hear any of the words he had to say anymore, he did it. He had cut the tie and now it was dragging, she could feel it weighing her down.

"Mia?" Lexi opened the door, her heart dropping as she saw Mia in full tears. "Mia, what's wrong?"

"Hโ€“ He doesn't want me anymore." Mia choked out, "He doesn't want me anymore."

Lexi quickly engulfed the girl in a hug, pulling her into the house. "It's okay Mia. It's okay, everything's gonna be fine."

โญ๏ธโญ๏ธโญ๏ธโญ๏ธ


It felt like someone was clawing at her brain, and the constant chattering in the room did not help.

"Damn bitch you were that fucked up?" Maddy asked Mia who looked like shit. "You look like shit." Maddy wasn't someone to beat around the bush.

Mia shrugged, "I guess you just can't mix and match drinks."

"True." Maddy nodded, "That's what Cassie said happened to her too."

"Right." Mia nodded, putting her head in between her legs.

Don't cry. Don't cry. Don't cry.

It was now a mantra that Mia had not stopped repeating in her head since the rest of the girls had arrived.

She was surely going crazy in the small room, and if she had to listen to Cassie say she was sorry to Maddy one more time she'd have no choice but to drown herself in the vomit filled jacuzzi.

Lexi looked over at Mia who hadn't touched the food the girls had ordered and was curled up in the corner of the room in the clothes the Howard sisters had let her borrow.

.
.

Lexi waited on the other side of the restroom door as Mia took a shower, she could hear her sobbing and she was scared. She was scared to move away from the door, she didn't want Mia doing anything she'd regret.

"Is she okay?" Cassie asked from her bed. Even though the blonde had a million things on her mind she was worried about Mia.

Lexi shook her head, "No."

Cassie didn't push it, she just got up from her bed grabbing a pair of sweats and hoodie for someone who was there for her during a really hard time. "Here, give her these when she gets out."

It was like watching a zombie, Lexi nor Cassie had ever seen Mia like this, no one in general had ever seen her like that. It was haunting to see the real person, the person behind the fake smiles.

.
.

"You doing okay?" Lexi whispered to Mia, pushing her food over, "Maybe you should eat something."

Mia shook her head, "I'm okay Lex."

"I really think you should eat something, when was the last timeโ€”"

"No offense Lexi but can you please just be quiet? Like for a fucking second?" Mia didn't mean to snap at her like that, and seeing the look on Lexi's face made her want to bash her head against the wall. "I'm- I'm sorry... I'm just not hungry."

Lexi, although hurt for a second, didn't take it to heart, she knew she was hurting. She was hurting on the inside so she was taking it out on herself and when that wasn't enough she was taking it out on others.

The girl's conversations stopped as they heard banging coming from the front door.

"I'll get it." Lexi hopped up from her seat, eyeing Cassie to watch Mia.

Cassie nodded. She knew Mia's look, she knew it so well from personal experience. It had been her go to look for the past couple of days. Fezco had broken Mia's heart in a very gruesome way.

Everyone's head turned as Rue's voice echoed through the house, making them stand up and go greet her.

"Hey Rue!" Maddy was the first up the small thing of stairs, flinging her arms around the taller girl.

"Hi, oh hey." Rue looked taken back by all the hugs and greetings.

Mia gave Rue a side hug, immediately taking several steps back at the stench that was coming off from her.

"She smells like shit." Mia whispered into Maddy's ears as Suze went on a tangent towards Rue.

Maddy nodded, "Yeah but I wasn't gonna say anything."

Mia for the first time that day, let out a subtle laugh. "It's so bad."

Then it clicked, Rue was going through withdrawals. She had seen it maybe once before at Fezco's house a while back, it was bad but this time she looked a lot worse. She quickly walked back into the foyer giving Lexi a look.

"I already called her Mom, she's on her way." Lexi nodded.

It felt like whiplash, that was the only way she could have described her day. Her ears were still ringing, and she could still feel the heaviness on her heart, but she was also worried for Rue and even more so as her mother walked in, her facial expression said it all.

All of the girls stood at the bottom of the stairs, waiting for Rue to come back down and realize she had been set up.

"Ah fuck, it'll never fuckin' end." Rue rolled her eyes, falling back onto the steps.

"This can't make you feel good, Rue. Livin' like this. Lyin' to the people you love, being mean to the people you love. This can't make you feel good." The pain in Leslie Bennett's voice was shattering.

"I don't care."

Mia knew Rue cared, she cared that she was hurting her mom, hurting Lexi, hurting Gia... But she cared more about the drugs.

"Let's get back in the car and let me take you to the hospital."

Rue shook her head, practically on the brink of tears. "I can't get clean. I can't do that shit forever."

And if you would have told anyone in that room, that what was about to happen happened...

Cassie, as if she was hosting a Ted Talk, god bless her soul, looked over at Rue, "You don't have to. Just... take it one day at a time."

Cassie looked back at Mia, Maddy, and Kat with a smile on her face like she just solved addiction.

Mia gave her a small smile back.

"Hey Cass... I have a quick question for you." Rue had a mischievous look on her face and Mia just knew she was going to say something that would take the attention off her.

"What?"

And without missing a beat, "How long have you been fucking Nate Jacobs?" came out of Rue's mouth.

Cassie's nervous laughter and incoherent words was enough to seal the fact that Cassie Howard was in fact, fucking Nate Jacobs.

Mia's eyes widened as Maddy looked over at her, anger slowly taking over her face.

"How long have you been fucking Nate?" Rue never missed a beat.

"I'm not.. What?" Nervous laughter, "I'm not." She was.

Mia stood in shock as Rue replayed the events that she had seen a month back only digging Cassie a deeper hole.

Mia had no words, she was speechless. Nate Jacobs was two for two... what the actual fuck did he have against these girls for them to willingly have sex with him and ruin a long running friendship.

"You're fucking Nate? Are you kidding me?" The words came off of Maddy's tongue like venom.

Cassie was in full on tears, maybe if she wasn't crying the girls in the room would have believed any of the words that struggled to come out of her mouth. "I-I don't even know why she would say that?"

"You're lying."

"Can we just table this conversation?" Suze cut in.

"No, no! You expect to stand here next to my best friend who's been lying to me about fucking my ex boyfriend?" Mia had seen Maddy like this before and she knew it wasn't going to be pretty for Cassie. "I'm literally gonna get violent!"

"Okay, there is no need to get violent, because we are having an intervention! Now, stop it!"

Mia felt like she was in the fucking Twilight Zone, what the actual hell was this day?

Mia tugged on Maddy's arm which she was quick to pull away, "Let's go Maddy."

But the sight of Cassie crying made Maddy only more mad and honestly Mia understood.

"Oh you're crying? You're fucking crying, you fucking bitch!" Maddy was now up in Cassie's face acrylic, almost stabbing the blonde's eyes.

"Maddy!" Mia and Kat tried to pull her back but when someone wants their go at a person there's only so much you can do.

"You're the one who's hurt? You're the most self centered, idiotic person I have ever fucking met! You fuck my ex and you're fucking crying? Are you fucking kidding me?!" The anger was loud and clear, but the hurt was also laced in her voice.

The room had erupted in mayhem, each person's voice overlapping the others.

"I don't even know why you're believing her, she's a drug addict!" Cassie spoke trying to save her own ass and that's what made Mia break from her in-between spot.

"And you're a whore, so how do we know who's telling the truth?" Mia was fuming at Cassie's shot towards Rue.

"How long have you been fucking him, be honest..."

"Maddy, let's just do this later." Kat was really trying her best to mellow out the situation which only irked Maddy more.

"Kat shut the fuck up! How long have you been fucking him? Rue?" Maddy pointed back up the stairs to Rue who had been watching what she created. "When was this?"

"Right after New Years." And that was all it took for Maddy to reach her full level of anger.

"Oh you dumb, fucking bitch! I'm gonna fuck you up!" Maddy yelled into Cassie's face causing her to run away up the stairs, Maddy chasing after and the rest of the girl's following... "Don't run away from me, you stupid fucking bitch!"

As all the girl's ran up the stairs Mia knew one thing for sure, Cassie was going to get her ass beat. In a way, Mia thought Cassie was lucky actually. Maddy knew all of Cassie's dirty laundry and she still hadn't laid a finger on her. If Mia was in Maddy's shoes and she found out Cassie was fucking Fezco behind her back Mia's fist would have connected with Cassie's face before Rue even finished her statement.

It would be bad regardless for anyone who even tried it with him, especially now.








AUTHOR'S NOTE,
in listen to a lot of music and the song ex factor by lauryn hill stuck with me especially the line i put in the beginning... although it's not a sad song the lyrics are pretty sad lmao and it's such a mia and fezco song her opening line to the song is literally "it could all be so simple, but you choose to make it hard" and i was like DAMMMNNNN... that so mia and fezco ๐Ÿ˜ญ and then she sings, "No matter how I think we grow You always seem to let me know It ain't working" LIKE??????????? lauryn hill really wrote this song for them!

this chapter made me cry lmao, like i teared up writing it. it's just so crazy like these people are just a figment of my imagination but they still get me.

that little flashback part, naurrrrr i love them! i LOVE THEM SOOO BAD! if you get it you get it if you don't you don't! MEZ4EVER โค๏ธโ€๐Ÿฉนโค๏ธ๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿคž๐Ÿผ

& then there's maddy finding out about cassie and nate lmao. i still love cassie, i love her. she's a dumb ass but it love her and i think mia and her are similar in ways. cassie is a good person who just wants to be loved & i get that.

maddy still beating her ass and i support it but still cassie is a victim to nate and his gas lighting abusive ass!

AND LEXI! lexi my love my heart my soul, i could never hate you lexi and i know you love mia but things are gonna get nasty next chapter.. i'm scared for you girl.

but like i said, i already gave the ending planned out for this book if things go how i think they will go... but i hope not. anyways hope you enjoyed, love you and all don't forget to comment some feedback!

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