incorrect quotes (1)

these are all off of pinterest, some being edited by me
this includes ranpoe, shin soukoku, soukoku:)

this isn't a one shot but these are awesome, please enjoy 😭

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dazai: if i kill myself, it shouldn't be called suicide.
akutagawa: what the fu-
dazai: it's just a delayed abortion done by the fetus itself
chuuya: WHAT THE FUCK

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akutagawa: *trying to comfort a crying baby* what is your fucking problem
atsushi: try singing to it?
akutagawa: what iiiiiiss your fuuuucking problemmm

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poe: it's kinda dark in here.
ranpo: don't worry, i got this.
ranpo: *proceeds to stomp his light-up sketchers*

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dazai: truth or dare, chuuya!
chuuya: truth.
dazai: i dare you to make out with me
chuuya, climbing into dazai's lap: i'm not losing this.
atsushi:
atsushi: he didn't even choose dare???

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chuuya: dazai, give me back my fucking heart
dazai: what
chuuya:
chuuya: my hat... give me back my hat.

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dazai: I WANT TO COMMIT DOUBLE SUICIDE WITH A BEAU-
chuuya: i want a remote that makes someone shut up with a button.
ranpo: you mean a gun?
poe: guys please it's 4am

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dazai: i have a pen
dazai:
dazai: i have an apple
kunikida: and i have zero fucking tolerance if you don't shut the fuck up

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math problem: if you gave half an apple to your friend, what do you have?
akutagawa, crying: a... a friend..

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atsushi: THE FLOOR IS LAVA!!!
dazai, hugging the ground instantly:
dazai:
kunikida: this fucker

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chuuya: i hate dazai.
stranger: me too, honestly
chuuya: what the fuck did you just say?
stranger:

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enemy: GO TO HELL!
dazai: I'M TRYING MY HARDEST PLEASE GIVE ME A BREAK

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dazai: *taps table*
atsushi: *taps back*
chuuya: what the fuck are they doing
akutagawa: they learned morse code
dazai: *taps again*
atsushi, standing: SAY THAT TO MY FACE

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atsushi: why is dazai in such a bad mood today?
kunikida: he almost got hit by a car-
atsushi: what?!? whe-
kunikida: it stopped.
atsushi:
kunikida:

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dazai: i have no fears
mori: what if you woke up one day and chuuya was taller than you
dazai: i have one fear

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chuuya: *beating dazai with a broom*
mori: what are you doing?
chuuya: cleaning.

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atsushi, shivering: it's really cold out here, i'd be nice if i had a jacket
akutagawa: i suppose so
atsushi, raising his voice: a long black jacket, preferably knee length with a large collar, looks like something a mafioso would wear
akutagawa: ...?
chuuya, taking akutagawa's jacket off and handing it to atsushi: oh for fucks sake here you go
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kunikida: what are you hiding.
dazai, holding his coat closed: nothing
coat: *meows*
dazai: drugs

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okay i'm done, I HOPE YOU LIKED THESEEE mwah <3

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