POV HAWKS

I don't know how long it's been. I haven't been able to grasp any concepts like time, curiosity, or ability since I lost my wings. The only idea circulating in my mind is Touya's presence; if he's not here with me, I'll die. Simple as that. So as the TV portrays flashy pictures of kiddush cartoons, I lay curled up on Touya's chest, listening to his heartbeat. "Keigo," he says softly. "Time to get up and eat."

I shake my head. "Not hungry." What's hunger, again? The longing for food? Sounds foreign.

"I texted your bunny friend," Touya says. "She's gonna bring over some chicken nuggets for you."

My body tenses, and I shake my head again. "Don't let her inside," I choke out, grabbing onto Touya. I dig my nails into his forearm, pulling him closer to me. "She- Touya, you can't let her inside! She's gonna- he- E-En..."

"Shh..." Touya says, pulling me to his chest. I sit on his lap, burying my head into his collarbone. "It's Mirko, your friend, remember? She's on your side. She's gonna come and bring you your favorite food so you can stay healthy."

"I don't–" The words are backed up in my throat, and it's unbelievably painful to choke them out. "Tr-trust her! She's gonna br-bring Endeavor, and... I don't want to..." I'm transported to Endeavor's basement where the only light in the room is his hungry flames. The smell of dust and damp cement fills my nose, and added to it is the smell of my burning feathers. I scream for Touya, hoping he'll come and save me, but he doesn't. It's just Endeavor. He dives at me, holding me by the throat. I'm screaming and kicking and crying, begging him to spare me. I tell him I'll be good, that I won't act up, but it's not enough for him. He takes and takes and takes until I'm reduced to nothing, until I'm a pile of worthlessness on the floor.  Then there's the flash of a camera and all goes dark.

I wake up in a car, curled up in Touya's lap. I jerk upward immediately as the realization kicks in, grabbing onto his shirt and digging my head into his chest. Touya wraps his arms around me, but I still feel vulnerable without my wings. "Home," I mutter, tightening my grip. "W-we have to go home..."

"I'm right here, baby bird," Touya says, rubbing my back. "You're safe."

"No," I choke out. I can feel Touya's blood under my fingernails, but I don't let go. I can't. There will never be a time where it's safe enough to release him. Endeavor is out there, lurking, watching me. I can't go through that pain again. "Please," I whisper, squeezing my eyes shut. "Please."

"I'm sorry," Touya says, his voice shaking a bit. "We're almost there. Just keep breathing, and you'll be okay."

The car stops a few minutes later, but I'm not focused on the time. Touya helps me out of the car, adjusting my hands so they're not peeling his skin open. My knees are weak below me; I've haven't walked in days. Has it been days? I'm not sure. It's been long enough that the natural light of the outside world makes me dizzy. I keep my eyes closed as Touya guides me into the building. I don't know what's happening nor do I want to know. I just want to be alone. With Touya.

"Keigo," Touya says, gently pulling my hands off of him. Panic rises in my throat as he steps back. "Keigo, you have to let go."

"No," I growl, fighting back the tears in my eyes. "Fuck, Touya, come back! Come back! I'm scared!" Hands wrap around my arms, tugging me away. I kick and scream, seeing flashes of Endeavor in the basement and the bathroom. "LET ME GO!" I cry out. "TOUYA! Touya, please! Please! Don't leave! You- you promised! You fucking promised!"

"I know," he whispers. "I know, I'm sorry. You'll be okay. I'll be right here waiting for you."

The hands take me away to a pastel painted room and seat me in a beanbag chair. I blink away my tears, feeling exposed and vulnerable. My eyes dart around the room, searching for danger, while my heart lurches up to my throat. I can't fucking breathe. I don't know where I am.

"Hawks," says a steady voice. It belongs to a woman, small and frail, sitting on the floor across from me. Her hair is braided and long, a mix of lime green and bright pink, draped over her shoulder. She smiles faintly, tilting her head slowly. "Can you hear me? I'm Dr. Denise Ikari. It's nice to meet you."

I don't answer. I just stare at her, trying to fight past how loudly my heart is beating in my chest. I want to go home.

"You don't have to talk if you don't want to. How about I put on some music? What do you like to listen to? I've recently been binging Addison Grace. He's recently been the key to calming me down." The doctor presses a button on her phone, and the soft sound of a ukulele floods through the room. "See if you can count the amount of times he says 'I'. It's a powerful word, y'know?" I nod this time, sinking into the music. When the song finishes, the next one rolls on, and Dr. Ikari gives me a wide smile. "You seem more present in the moment. Ready to talk?"

"Yeah," I say gently. "Thanks."

POV DABI

"I want to help him just as much as you do, bunny bitch," I growl at Mirko. She rolls her eyes, scoffing an insult under her breath.

"I just don't know why Hawks came to you," she says. "I'm his best friend! I've been here the whole time! There was never a time I made him feel uncomfortable or scared or... God, I just want to know what I did wrong."

"Oh, don't fucking flatter yourself," I snap at the hero girl. "You don't even know his real name! You're a side character in his life, and obviously, you're not even good at that! You were there at the party when Endeavor first attacked him. Did you bother to look around for your 'best friend' then? All of this– all of his pain could've been avoided if you paid a little more attention to him!"

"What the hell are you talking about? You can't stand here and blame me for all of his problems!" Mirko cries. "I did my best!"

"Well, look at where your best got him, Mirko." There's a silence that rolls over us, but I hope my glare speaks to her. This is supposed to be Keigo's family? His older sister, per se? I know it isn't her fault, but I need someone to blame besides myself. If you look far enough back on the timeline, Keigo's problems could be pinned to me, all the promises I broke and such, but I don't have the strength to torture myself. Torturing others is much easier. "You don't deserve him," I tell Mirko. "He's better off without you."

"And you think you deserve him?" she shoots back. "You're a no-good, disgusting, murderous waste of space, Dabi. You think you deserve Hawks? So maybe I'm not the best possible friend Hawks has, but I care about him with every fiber in my being. I will put my own life on the line to protect his, and he has proved that he'd do the same. As for you? Well, you're a villain, the scum of the Earth. You are the epiphany of selfishness. Hawks is in pain because of your selfish actions, so don't you dare try to pin this back on me!"

There's more silence. The parts of my body that aren't charred and stapled on are burning. If I don't regulate my emotions, my quirk will burn this whole place to the ground. I roll my shoulders back, taking deep breaths. As my body cools, I can feel the cuts where Keigo's nails dug into me. I focus on them, remembering who it is I'm protecting. "You're right," I say, my voice as low as a whisper. "I'm selfish most of the time, but not right now. You're not the only one who's putting everything on the line for this damn bird, but we shouldn't make it a competition. I called you because I know, when his mind is clear, that he trusts you. So let's be mature about this, alright?"

Mirko nods, looking down at the tiled lobby floor. "Right. Sorry about all that. I'm pretty anxious about all this. Hawks is usually super independent. It's weird seeing him cling to you like that."

"Excuse me?" says a tall, dark-skinned man with blocky glasses. "I'm Dr. Tsukumo. Are you guys Hawks' party?" Mirko and I nod, curious and hesitant at the same time. "Great. I'd like to ask a few questions concerning his recent behavior as well as what his treatment and such should look like for the next few months. Please come this way."

The man takes us to a small office, and Mirko and I sit shoulder to shoulder in the chairs across from the desk. "So what's going on?" Mirko asks.    

"We're assuming trauma response from the recent loss of his wings," Dr. Tsukumo says, "but it seems to be a little more than that. We have a detective and a few officers on their way here to evaluate the situation." The word 'officers' makes me shoot up and head for the door, but the doctor stops me. "Wait! Dabi, you're alright to stay. I've informed them that you're no harm to others and have pure intentions of helping the number two hero."

I nod, taking my seat again. Mirko chuckles a bit, but I just roll my eyes and ignore her. "So what's up? What do you want to know?"

"Hawks is having his psychiatric evaluation done right now, and because he's an adult, he'll be able to decide whether or not he wants treatment," Dr. Tsukumo says. "For me as a doctor, I can't deliberately ask you questions about Hawks because that would break a few laws. However, if there's anything that you think would cause such an episode, I'm open ears. Hawks is an extraordinary hero who has saved countless lives, and I feel it's my duty to do the best I can to save him as well."

"Endeavor really screwed him up," Mirko says. "It was all over the news that Hawks was found in his basement with his wings gone. Even though he's denying the blame, we all know it was him who did it. God, I should fucking kill that bastard."

"Endeavor has never been my favorite hero either," the doctor chuckles.

"Endeavor raped him," I blurt out. I can feel the blood dripping from the scars below my eyes, and I wipe them quickly before they notice. I started the word vomit, so I might as well finish. "He did it twice. Once six years ago, and second when he was found in the basement."

Mirko and Dr. Tsukumo stare at me, jaws dropped. "How do you know this?" the doctor asks.

"K- Hawks told me," I say, slower this time. "I... The second time, I brought him with me to break into Endeavor's house. There's a picture on his phone from the first time he assaulted Hawks, and I needed it in order to expose all Endeavor's crimes. But the plan backfired. Endeavor caught us, and I panicked and ran." I wipe my eyes one more time, finally looking up. I make eye contact with Mirko, whose brownish-red eyes are glossy with tears. "I'm sorry."