11: Out of Control

'A person is, among all else, a material thing, easily torn and not easily mended.' 

-Ian McEwan

"There was this...party near the end of the semester..." Candice stuttered, shaking slightly. "I-" He voice broke up, she took a deep breath, and breathed out slowly. "No. I can't...i can't i'm sorry..." She barely whispered, her voice shaking. 

"Hey, it's okay. You're okay now...right?" 

"I just...i don't like thinking about it..." 

"You've been keeping stuff from your mother, right? Stuff she didn't know about?"

Candice sniffed, and nodded.

"I knew it..." Bryan said to himself. "Candice, i'm sorry-"

"-No..." She stopped him, and wiped some tears under her eyes. She held one hand in another, looking completely small and vulnerable. "We weren't invited...we were...the weirdos of the year...anyway we, for some stupid fucking reason decided to crash the party...Big mistake." She mumbled. "I mean...all i wanted to do was to fit in. And not be this...weird texan girl that everyone found annoying...with overly quiet friends..." 

"So...what happened? What then?" 

"...I uh...The guy throwing the party...Brandon..." She spat his name out like venom, "He...spotted me...i thought at first he'd know that i crashed the party...but he didn't..." She closed her eyes for a while, then opened them again, "He was with this other...shady looking guy with him...Tucker...he's a loner, everyone stays away from him...but for some reason he was at that party...Brandon offered me a drink...i couldn't say no...he was popular...I thought it'd be rude" She stopped, as she began crying again.

"Don't tell me..." Bryan didn't finish his sentence,as he had a look of despair on his face. 

"I don't know what the heck they put in that drink...but it was enough to knock me out. I mean, i was in a daze before i passed out...all i remember is that they led me upstairs..."

"Fuck..." Bryan whispered.

 "Yeah...You can guess the rest." 

"Fuck...Candice why didn't you tell me before i-" He stopped, running a hand through his hair.

"It wasn't like that. It was different with you." Candice said, softly.

"But you thought about it...didn't you?" He asked, knowingy. 

Candice didn't answer, instead, she looked down, not wanting Bryan to see her cry like this. 

"Candice i'm so...so sorry." He tightened his fists, "Did you tell anyone else?"

Candice slowly shook her head. "No one." She choked out. 

"So those fuckers are still...you have to tell someone, you have to tell the police-"

"No. I can't..." Candice sobbed, "I can't tell anyone. You can't tell anyone, especially not my mother. Please." She begged frantically. "Besides there's no evidence left. It's too late."

"It ain't too late for me to fuck them up." 

 "Don't be stupid. Let's just forget about it." 

"I can't." Bryan protested.

"Please?" Candice said, softly, looking at him with pleading eyes.

Bryan's looked down at her softly, and gave in, dropping his shoulders, "If that's what you want," his husky voice said. "Candice." 

She looked up at him, Bryan lifted his hands up to stroke Candice's cheek, as he brushed strands of hair out of her face. 

"I'm sorry that had to happen to you. Trust me...i'll make sure it'll never happen again."

 His face was inches from her, as he eased in for a long, but light kiss. Candice as usual, was firstly frozen in shock, but she soon felt butterflies in her stomach and goosebumps where he stroked her. Their lips moved in unison as Bryan bit her lower lip lightly. Candice could hear her pulse, as she melted at Bryan's touch, his facial hair stubble brushing past the side of her lip, as she pulled him closer by his shirt, Bryan's lips on Candice's soft lips seemed like they perfectly fit with each other, as he slowly pulled away. Candice felt lightweight, as she looked into his dark passionate eyes, his eyes darted down to her lips, as he went in for a more passionate kiss, their lips crashing together. It felt timeless, their surrounding was quiet, peaceful, no one could disturb them, and soon they were left alone in their own world. 

Candice was overwhelmed with emotions. She never felt anything like this before. She felt as if she was weightless, floating. 

They finally pulled away, and Candice instantly started blushing. 

Bryan smiled softly at her, then looked down, shaking his head. "Sorry..." He said, "I couldn't help it." 

Candice was too lost in thought to comprehend what Bryan was saying, and without realizing it, she pressed herself onto his chest and wrapped her arms around him. 

She realized that strong feeling she felt for the first time towards him, she realized how safe and protected she felt around this man, she realized now why  she was so determined have him by her side, pay attention to her, getting rid of Bella and having him all to herself. 

She knew she wasn't just an obsessed teen with a crush. And that kiss proved that there is something special between them. Whether Bryan himself believes it or not, that thought is what she sees a reality. No, Candice thought, I'm sure of it. I know it's real, why would my heart be beating this fast if it wasn't? Why would i not feel scared of his touch if it wasn't? I'm sure he feels the same way...right? See? He's hugging me back. What does all of this mean to him? 

Bryan finally came to his senses. As he blinked. What he's doing isn't right. He knows it. 

Candice felt Bryan freeze, as he slowly pulled away. Her big eyes blinked up at him, confused and hurt.

"I-uh...I'm sorry. That was my fault." Bryan said, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly. 

"Wait...what?" Candice breathed out, unbelievably. 

"This isn't easy-"

"Stop." Candice raised her voice. 

"Please, Candice. You know this isn't supposed to-"

"Well, i hope you had fun playing with my emotions." She backed away from him, "Asshole, don't even bother talking to me!" 

"Wait- Cand-" He broke off, as she ran upstairs, and slammed her bedroom door. 

--

Candice's breathing was short and heavy, but the tears weren't falling. Her heart felt like it was ripping open, like someone had just stabbed it with a knife. She took whatever was closest to her -a lamp- and threw it across the room, screaming. When the light bulb broke into pieces, she breathed slowly, and sunk down on the ground. 

"Why?" She asked herself. 

Why doesn't he like me?

It's because of her. She thought. That Bella...She poisoned his mind with her pathetic innocent act. 

She stood up with shaky legs, and opened her window. She let the cool evening air hit her, then placed one leg outside, then another. She took a deep breathe, trembling, then exhaled. She stepped onto the roof steadily and focused on the steady tree a metre away. She gulped. Here goes. 

--

Bella thought about what Warren said to her earlier. She's known Bryan for years. She can trust him and tell him anything. She has no reason to worry. He was always there for her after all. There's no reason why he wouldn't understand. So why was she so afraid to tell him earlier? She stood, quietly. Looking at her pale self in the mirror, with only her underwear to cover her. She looked pale. And sick. She felt disgusted with herself. The profuse scrubbing in the shower until her skin was red was not enough to get rid of that feeling. She could still feel his painful touch on her thighs, and her waist. 

But he wasn't going to get under her skin. She had to be strong. She needed help, anyone's help. But most importantly. She needed to tell Bryan, make him see that he could trust her. She nodded to herself, as if obeying the instructions that her reflection was giving to her. 

She tucked her short hair behind her ears, and put on a brave smile, then got dressed, shaking, nervous and excited at the same time. She's finally got the courage to tell him, to lift the weight off her shoulders. She ran to grab her back, a rush of excitement surrounded her, as she smiled, and almost felt as if she was about to cry.

She opened the front door, the smile completely wiped from her face. Standing in front of her, was Candice, giving Bella the most disgusted look. 

Bella was taken aback, as Candice looked as if she hated Bella's guts. God knows what she was thinking at that moment. 

Without warning, Candice pushed the door open and let herself in, slamming it shot behind her. Bella jumped, looking both confused and terrified at the look in her eyes. "What are you doing here, Candice?" Bella tried to say. 

"What were you thinking of doing just now?" Candice asked her. 

Bella bit her lip. "I...Candice...i have to tell Bryan something really important. So- if you would please-"

Candice rolled her eyes, "Bryan..." She said,trailing off, "You really hurt Bryan, you know? Whatever you'll say to him...it won't change what he feels about you now." She spat. 

"What?" Bella breathed out, "Candice, you don't understand. Now please, move aside-" Bella grabbed the door handle and cracked it open, but Candice pushed it close again.

"Leave Bryan alone!" Candice shouted. 

"Candice!" Bella shouted back. "What is wrong with you?" She demanded. "What are you even doing here?"

"I want you to back off...okay? Bryan's moved on." 

Bella shook her head, her heart dropping to her stomach. "What? With who?" 

"With me, okay? So just...leave him be."

"What?!" Bella demanded, "No...No, this can't be true. He would never. Stop joking around, Candice-"

"You think this is a joke!?" Candice screamed. "He's the first person i felt this way about...please..." Candice said, softly, "Don't take that away form me." 

Bella, looked at Candice for a second, dropping her shoulder. When it seemed like she was about to comfort her, she pushed her out of the way and tried to open the door, but Candice was too quick, as she screamed and grabbed Bella's shirt, pulling her forcefully. 

"Candice! Stop!" Bella struggled to loosen Candice's grip. 

"No! You stop!" 

"Stop it! Stop messing with me like this. I didn't do anything to hurt Bryan. I was raped!"

Candice looked at her, then started chuckling. "Oh, i know!"

"What-?"

"-But who's going to believe that? Bryan'll just see it as a pathetic excuse for cheating and you know it." 

Bella shook her head, "Bryan wouldn't think that-"

"Oh yeah? Where's your proof?" Candice said, tears welling up in her eyes, uttering the same words that she's always feared since that night, words that she knew would ruin her.

"There's no bruises..." She said, "You could've told anyone earlier..." She pointed weakly at Bella, tears streaming down her cheeks, "It's you! You asked for it...Now you can't even show your face to anyone...you're locked up in this house...scared to go outside...scared to see his face." She sniffed, "Well now, little miss perfect knows how it feels." She said, bitterly. She sniffed again, angrily wiping the tears off her cheeks. "Bryan and i...we have feelings for each other...i'm sorry Bella...But he's never going to look at you the same again." 

Bella slowly walked closer to Candice. "Candice..." She said, calmly. "Look...i know how you feel..."

"M'no...M'no you don't..." She mumbled, shaking her head profusely. 

"Yes, i do." Bella whispered, "But you have to understand...i love Bryan..."

Candice looked up at Bella, the looked away.

"Look...i can help you...you need to talk to someone...okay?" 

Bella saw that Candice was distracted, and pushed her onto the floor, she ran for the door put Candice grabbed her ankles before she could get to it. 

She screamed and painfully fell onto the floor. "Candice- Stop-" 

"Not until you give up." Candice hissed, and got on top of Bella. "Your life is over, Bella. You don't have Bryan anymore to help you."

"Why are you doing this?" Bella demanded.

"Because i need him. And you're not gonna stop me." 

--

"Candice?" Bryan exclaimed, surprised to see her on the porch when she was only upstairs an hour ago. 

Candice sniffed, hugging herself, then slowly stepped in. 

Bryan caught the bruise that was on her arm, and gently grabbed her. "Candice what happened? Where were you?" He demanded, worried.

Candice had a tear rolling down her cheek, as she looked away from him. Her lips moved but no sound came out.

"Candice? Who did this to you?" He asked, pointing at her bruise.

"B-Bella..." She said, barely whispering, but Bryan heard it clearly. 

"Wait...what?"

Candice sniffed, "It was Bella..." 

Team Candice or Team Bella? You choose!

Sorry this chapter was kinda short

*-+*-+*-+Let me know if you want me to stop the little 'previously' recaps at the begining of the chapter! *-+*-+*-+