23. Wrong way, Drew

We are still sitting in Becca's bathroom, but I think Riley has fallen asleep with her face buried in my neck. She is breathing slowly and I can't hear her cry anymore, except that I can't seem to stop my own tears from falling.


I didn't know that she desired to see so much. For me she acted totally fine, since the day I meet her, but that might also be the reason I didn't see it. God, it is painful to know she is hurting.


I truly wish there was something I could do, but I can't. It makes me feel weak and such a failure as a girlfriend. I turn to look at the door opening and see Hannah with a worried smile.


"Are you okay?" She asks. I sniff with a nod.


"Yeah, just," I look at Riley.


"I need your help to get me on my feet. I don't want to wake her." I say and dry away the tear on my cheek with my shoulder.


"Okay," She answers and step over to me.


"How are we going to do this?" She snorts.


"Umm, you can lift me under my arms?" I suggest, and I watch her nod and I feel her hands under my arms, dragging me up and I try to stand on my feet. After a couple of minutes, I am on my feet with my girl in my arms. Thankfully, she is still sleeping.


"I am going to drive her home, she can't be here." I tell Hannah who nods.


"Yeah, I think she is exhausted." Hannah smiles a little as I step out the bathroom door.


"Can you say bye to the others?" I wonder and she nods happily.


"Of course, Drew." She says. We say good night and I walk down the stairs and then to the car. I get Riley into her seat, talking the seat belt on before I close the door carefully. 


Then I move my legs to my side and then get into the car to start driving. I'm glad that I didn't wake her up. I don't want her to be upset the rest of the day. The only thing I want for her now is to rest until tomorrow, so those thoughts might fade away a little. 


I stop the car in the driveway behind Devin and Andi's black car. Riley is still sleeping as I take her out of the car. My legs move up to the front door, where Andi comes out with a smile, but it fades slowly as I step inside.


"Why are your eyes so red?" She wonders and I can see everything in a repeat of what happened this evening.


"S-she..."


"Calm down." Andi smiles lightly and I take a deep breathe.


"Just take her up and we can talk." She promise and I just nod as I find my way up the stairs. I lay my angel down on her bed and take off her sunglasses. 


Then I watch her for a while, wondering if I dare to take off her jeans. I sigh as I shake my head. Devin would kill me if I did that and I would probably wake Riley. 


I kiss her forehead after I tucked her in and step out in silence to go back downstairs. Where Devin and Andi are sitting on the couch. I decide to sit down on the chair, so it won't be so awkward.


"So what's wrong?" Andi asks worried. I chew on my lower lip as I look down at my hands. Swallowing hard to keep my tears away.


"Umm, Riley told me why she doesn't want me to see her eyes." I explain, barely daring to look at them. I feel so torn by what Riley confessed to me and I can also feel how angry I am, because of how unfair it is. 


That she thinks she is so unlucky, but she is not. Well, I am not saying she was lucky either, but it was what happened. It's no one's fault, just how it is.


"And what is the reason?" Devin questions, staring at me intently, but I look at the floor, avoiding both of their eyes as I feel the tears want to creep out of mine.


"S-she won't let me see," I rub my eye.


"Because she can't." I say, and hid my face with my hand. I don't want to look at Devin and Andi right now. I take a big unsteady breathe before I finally get the courage to watch them. 


They seem very worried and hurt, just like me. In a way, it's kind of nice to see, because then I know that I care about Riley as much as her parents do. That girl means the world to me. 


Devin sighs as she rubs her temples, but Andi is breaking down in tears. It's so weird to see how different those two are, but it's probably why they fit so well together. Like Riley and me. I am the idiot and she is the angel. Andi wraps her arms around Devin's arm and bury her face in her shoulder.


"M-maybe I should go." I say and Devin nods lightly after she laid her arms around Andi. I get out of the chair and step over to the front door.


"Wrong way, Drew." Devin says and I turn around confused. She points up the stairs and for what has felt like years, I smile as I start walking, but she points at me warning. Which makes me roll my eyes.


"I know. I am not going to do anything. I might be an idiot, but I am not going to break her heart." I promise her and she smiles lightly to my words. I step up the stairs, looking for my girl and she is sleeping peacefully.


Well, at least that is how it looks like from where I am standing next to her bed. I pull off my sweater and socks before I lay down next to her. I wish I brought some clothes from home, but I didn't think I was going to spend my time here. 


There is nothing more I want than to lay next to her. I wrap my arm around her, but jump as she turns around to face me.


"Are you okay?" I ask as I brush her hair away from her face. My eyes widen as she buries her face in my chest fast, and holding me tightly.


"No." She mumbles and I close my eyes in agony as I start stroking her in the hair.


"I'm sorry." I say as I kiss her on the top of her head.


"It's okay, it's not your fault." She sighs.


"Of course it's my fault if I can't make you happy." I swallow hard.


"But you make me happy." She says, holding me tighter.


"Riley," I sigh.


"I can't make you happy, not fully at least." I tell her feeling my whole heart clenching. That I can't make her happy.


"But you do." She still argues and her voice so soft.


"Then why..."


"Shut up, Drew!" She shouts, making me stop talking in shock. She moves to lay above me and I look at that angel.


"Drew," She moves her hands up and I take them in mine, and place them on my cheeks. I close my eyes of her softness.


"You make me happy, you make me feel something and you also make me forget sometimes." She smiles and lean down to kiss my forehead.


"Forget what?" I wonder confused.


"That I can't see," She moves her fingers on my face, tracing my skin.


"You let me drive your car, which makes you a crazy person," I snort of her words.


"And touching you calms me down, because then I know you are here with me. You are the only one that really saw me." She says, and start to chew on her lower lip. I smile as I take her hands and sit up with her in my lap.


"There is nothing else I want to look at, listen to and touch." I whisper, moving my hands under her T-shirt on her back, feeling her warm skin under my own. I lay back down in the bed, enjoying the girl of my dreams. Can't believe how lucky I am.


"Goodnight dimples." I smile and kiss the top of her head, breathing in my favorite scent.


"Goodnight my love." She says, something she has done for a while and still I have not dared to ask her why she says that. Not that I mind, but it leaves me thoughtful for a while before I fall asleep.



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