The rest of the day was a blur. Not that it mattered. Professor Weasley was able to excuse me from the rest of my classes for today, sending me to the Hospital wing for a check up.

Nurse Noreen Blainey offered to have me spend the rest of the afternoon here, to rest. I didn't refuse her offer, laying myself down on one of the beds, seeking comfort in the fluffy bedding. I tried to fall asleep, but after coming face to face with Ranrok dragon, it was all I could see every time I closed my eyes. Even though I knew he was no longer real, and that I defeated him, I still felt haunted by his image. Instead of resting, I pondered the fact that he remained my worst fear, and that despite my efforts to try and get over everything that happened, all my efforts were in vain.

"Perhaps you'd like to take Dreamless sleep potion, my dear?"

I wasn't sure if Dreamless potion could help me escape the nightmares and trauma that seemed to follow me everywhere I went, but perhaps it was worth a try.

"Lily!"

I turned my head over to see Natty and Poppy speed walk towards my bed, both surrounding me. They held a small bouquet of colorful lilies, something that made me smile almost instantly.

"Do you like it?" Poppy placed the bouquet down on the nightstand beside my bed, smiling, "We picked them out just for you! No pun intended, of course."

"That was sweet of you both, but you didn't have to," I sat up, giving both girls a hug.

"Stop it," Natty dismissed my remarks after pulling away from the hug, "We came as soon as we heard what happened."

I titled my head to the side, "You heard? From who?"

"Like the entire Defense against the Dart Arts class," Poppy sat on the edge of the bed, her warm hand resting over mine. "I'm so sorry, Lily... That must have been terrifying for you."

It still is.

I took Poppy's hand into mine, giving it a gentle squeeze. "It was, but I'll be okay. Nurse Blainey was just about to offer me some Dreamless sleep potion."

"That's a good idea!" Natty nodded, standing beside us. "Could help you deal with the nightmares."

"Perhaps," I nodded, unsure if there was any way to really help me. I knew that no matter what, I had to be the one to overcome all these fears. Still, it was sweet to know I was not alone.

"Girls, you are missing lunch!" The nurse exclaimed, "Ms. Woods needs to rest!"

Poppy stood up, and her and Natty gave me one last hug before heading out.

"We'll see you tomorrow in Alchemy class, right?"

I nodded, smiling at them.

"Of course."

The Dreamless potion did help, even if it was for a couple of hours. I haven't gotten this much sleep ever since I've been back at Hogwarts, so I couldn't thank Nurse Blainey enough. She and Professor Weasley both agreed to have me visit every other day for a check up, and I got to take some Dreamless potions back to the dormitory with me.

It was nighttime, with everyone being back in their rooms now. Grace was fast asleep after a never ending hour full of questions about how I was holding up, and if she could do anything to make me feel better. There wasn't much she could do, in all honesty, but I appreciated her concern.

I didn't feel like sleeping just yet, so I sat in the Slytherin common room, near the ceiling windows with the view of the lake, watching the fish swim by. It was another part of why I loved the Slytherin common room: watching the fish swim freely, with no particular aim or plan on where to go next. Water made them look like butterflies: beautiful and free.

The fireplace crackled as the logs fell in, and occasionally, I got up to add some more. The couch was fairly comfortable, and I found myself almost dozing off a couple of times.

"Can't sleep?"

Sebastian's low tone of voice, almost like a whisper,  startled me out of my dazing state, and I turned to look over my shoulder at the Slytherin man standing by the fireplace. He wore his casual outfit, the same from earlier today. But this time, he also wore his house robe.

I turned my head away, looking back at the water, "I'll get there, eventually."

I heard his footsteps approach the couch I sat on, before he circled around and sat in one of the arm chairs, opposite of where I was. He didn't reply, just stared at the water with me, while we listened to the fire crackling.

"I didn't se you after the Boggarts lessons," Sebastian broke the silence between us, his eyes fixed on me. I could tell there was a certain degree of worry in them, but I was still in denial that he cared all that much.

"I wasn't feeling well, so I spent the afternoon in the hospital wing," I replied, before my eyes flickered over to his, "Thank you, by the way. For that save."

"You froze, and I knew you needed help. So I came to your side."

His response caught me off guard, but he wasn't wrong: I did need help, and I knew that I wasn't going to help myself, not when I stood there, frozen and in fear. Sebastian was always the first one to come to my aid, especially in difficult situations where we fought for our lives. I just wish he would have been by my side when I had to face Ranrok.

I looked down at my hands, noticing the scars across them. I think this was the first time I ever truly recognized them, staring in disbelief. How did I get here? Why did it have to be me who wields ancient magic? Why did it it have to be me to become a Keeper? And most importantly, why did Professor Fig had to die?

I could still remember how it all happened: my wand casting upwards, maintaining the ancient magic, just like Professor Fig asked me to. I took my eyes off of him for a split moment, and with a flash, I watched his body drop, gasping for air. His eyes were empty, but his lips were moving. I tried my best to keep him as comfortable as I could while in my arms, feeling hot tears staining my red face, but I couldn't allow myself to panic. His hand reached for his wand, and after I placed it in his arms, over his chest, Professor Fig took his last breath. And with that, he was gone.

I wasn't aware of how long I sat there, in the common room, feeling tears forming in the corners of my eyes after the flashback. Once again, this time, they kept falling down on my pale hands. I just watched them fall, hitting the scars.

"He - He is gone," I whispered, my voice trembling. I felt my body shaking, as a sudden wave of sadness and grieve began to overwhelm me.

"Lils?"

Sebastian's voice was distant, even though he was right in front of me. I felt my body shutting down, the overwhelming emotions and the tears that came with it, making me lose the grip I had over myself. I placed my hands over my face, sobbing. I could no longer control the flow of my emotions, nor shake off this feeling of guilt. I felt responsible for Professor Fig's death, responsible for what happened between Sebastian and I. Responsible for being unable to help cure Anne.

Suddenly, I felt his arms wrap around me, pulling me towards the warmth of his body. Sebastian crouched down on his knees, staying there while pulling me closer. I could no longer contain all the emotions that were begging to be let out. So I began to cry into his shoulder now, still shaking. Sebastian's hand rubbed my back, but he didn't say a word. It was like he knew exactly what type of comfort I needed.

"I failed him, Sebastian," I gasped in between my crying, still trying to gather the right words to express how I felt. His hand continued to rub my back, his head shaking now.

"No, no you didn't," Sebastian whispered, still holding me close to him.

"I failed everyone, I couldn't - I - " I struggled to speak, overwhelmed with all the tears and emotions that I held in for months. "I have this ability that should have been able to heal people, not hurt them..."

"And you used this ability to help people, Lils," Sebastian reassured me, "You saved the school and all of us against the dark wizards, all on your own."

Sebastian's words didn't sting me as much as I thought they would, but I knew deep down, he still wished for me to have been able to cure Anne. And we both knew that I was unable to do that. I was unable to help him, so now he was hurting. Hurting all alone.

"I failed Anne," I whispered, moving away slightly to look him in the eyes, " I failed you."

Sebastian's arms were still around me, but he was frowning now. Through, it was a different kind of a frown. Like he was hurt hearing me say that.

"Don't even say or think that..." He mumbled, before unwrapping his arms from around me, and standing up.

I was afraid I became overwhelming to deal with, expecting him to leave me be. Instead, Sebastian grabbed the heavy knitted blanket that rested on the back of the arm chair he sat on previously, wrapping it around me. I continued to sit there, watching him, feeling my tears dry. I wasn't sure how I was able to stop myself from breaking down, but I knew Sebastian was a had something to do with it.

"If you don't want to sleep yet, lay down here for a little while. I'll stay and keep watch."

"You don't have to, truly," I reassured him, but I knew Sebastian's mind was already made up.

"Please rest."

I could no longer fight him, nor the urge to want to close my eyes. I let myself sink into the couch, eyes closed. This was my first night at Hogwarts where I didn't wake up startled from the nightmares. This was the first night I let myself go, dreaming of the happier days that passed me by last year.