Summer went by fast. I spent my entire summer with Natty, occasionally visiting Poppy at her gran gran's place, prepping for sixth year. Poppy and I studied many beasts whenever we came by for a visit, and she taught me a lot about what it means to have an animal companion. Natty and I practiced many spells together, even going as far as dueling each other for fun. Yet the trauma and the memories I wished to forget remained with me.

It was rare for me to experience a goodnight's sleep, with majority of the nights being started awake from nightmares, drenched in sweat. Natty and her mother, Professor Onai, were very helpful during my panic episodes: both very patient and understanding.

I wrote to all of my friends, including Sebastian. The day his owl came by Natty's house in the morning, I felt adrenaline coursing through my body. Like I said before, we didn't speak much after the incident, and Sebastian practically disappeared during the last three days of our fifth-year. His letters were vague about how he was doing, or where he was spending the summer. His owls were even more rare. In one of the letters, he apologized for disappearing so suddenly, and  briefly explained that Headmaster Black, along with Professor Weasley, both allowed him to be dismissed earlier due to his uncle's death. Since we didn't report Sebastian, Solomon's death was blamed on Ranrok and Victor Rookwood. It worked out well, and in Sebastian's favor, but I knew what death does to you.

I never thought that seeing the Slytherin common room would make me feel so nostalgic yet sad, but it did. This is where I met Sebastian and Ominis, this is where we spent late nights talking and reading about the a dark Arts, casting Lumos. I never thought I'd miss those sleepless nights, when we snuck out of the common room, or discovered Salazar Slytherin's Scriptorium. Those were some of my favorite core memories here at Hogwarts, along with all the memories I made with my other friends.

"Care to try out for the Quidditch team this year?"

Imelda stood beside me with her arms folded over her chest. She changed over the summer: her dark, slick black hair were much longer now, shining underneath the high ceiling windows with the underground view of the lake, her face was slimmer, making her look more like a teenager, rather than a child. She was also slightly taller than me now, which was 'great,' because it meant she was going to bring our height difference whenever she got the chance.

"That's like asking a cat if they'd like to voluntarily take a bath," I turned to fully face her now.
I was afraid of heights, yet alone flying high and fast on a broom. I could barely make it to my destination in one piece while flying on Highwing.

"We can use all the help we can get, even if it means having people barely sit still on a broom. It's all about confidence and appearances. We are meant to be feared, not laughed at."

It was not surprising to see that Imelda still had the biggest attitude problem out of us all here. At least that stayed the same.

"No thanks, I'll pass."

"Suit yourself, but you better show up to every game of the season blondie, and I mean it."

Imelda scoffed, walking away before I could even protest. It shouldn't be my fault if I had extra curricular courses in my schedule this year, where would I find the time to do all the work I needed to, if I was being graded on my perfect attendance to Quidditch games?

"There she is, the brave yet cunning hero!"

Leander Prewett ran up to me, his tie hanging loose around his neck. He also grew taller, but unlike Imelda, he didn't need any additional height. His red hair hung loosely around his head, but he moved them to the side, out of his eye's view.

"Leander," I gave him a nod in greeting, finding ourselves walking in the same direction, towards the green houses. "If you're here to bother me about Summoner's Court, I'm going to have to decline."

"No, of course not. How was your summer?"

I shrugged, remembering the nightmares and all of the PTSD that I have yet to make sense of, coming back to me. It was upsetting me that I thought of the bad times, not the good times with Natty and Poppy.

"It was good," I half-lied. "How was yours?"

"Gone by too fast. But I couldn't say I didn't miss Hogwarts even a little bit," he kept walking beside me, attempting to fix his tie.

"That's good," I smiled, "Did anything fun?"

"Oh yeah, I took flying lessons. Going to try out for Quidditch this year!"

I couldn't imagine Leander being part of the Gryffindor's Quidditch, team, but I was happy for him. He seemed to be excited, and I knew the try outs were kicking off today.

"That's amazing, Leander," I looked up at him still fumbling around with his loose tie. He looked lost.

With a soft sigh, I stopped and turned to face him. "Give it here."

"W-what? I got it, don't worry-" he half-panicked, but I just shook my head, and he gave in.

"You're going to struggle with this tie all day, I can feel it."

"Thanks," he looked down at me as I began to fix his tie. "How do you know how to work a tie out anyways?"

I felt myself go slightly red in the face at the memory of helping Sebastian out with his tie once, after a long and tiring battle with the spiders in one of the caves.

Flashback

"Another fun night getting rid of the spiders, I totally won't have nightmares about this."

We both sat inside the cave that was crawling with spiders, taking a small break and leaning against a rock as we sat there, panting. I hated spiders, and while I didn't have arachnophobia, I still preferred them dead, rather than alive and crawling.

"How long is this going to go on for until we finally get used to our hairy, eight-legged friends of ours?" I joked, watching Sebastian loosen his house robe and his green tie with it. For a cave located in the middle of nowhere, and winter being the season, we worked up quite a sweat from endless spell casting.

"Still beats detention," Sebastian chuckled, now wrapping the tie around his neck and shirt once again, "Less boring."

I laughed at his response, admiring that he still had his humor even after a long and dreadful fight, inside a dark cave full of spiders.

"Let me help you with that," I found myself turning to face Sebastian, who eyed me with confusion, before unwrapping the tie from around his neck and handing it to me.

"All yours, if you know how to tie it properly."

I didn't.

He saw the panic and confusion settle in, laughing.

"Here, let me teach you and then, you can practice this lesson on me."

* * *

Leander and I made our way to Herbology, taking our usual seats that we self assigned to ourselves last year. Professor Garlick clasped her hands together in front of her, a wide smile on her face.

"Oh how nice to see you all back here once again! You've all blossomed so much over the summer!"

She was right: even though it was only one summer, most of us looked a lot more grown up. Perhaps it was due to all of the events that happened, or being seventeen was drastically different than being sixteen.

I looked around the class, noting other familiar faces: Amit, Adelaide, and of course, Leander.

"Apologies for being late, Professor."

That voice.

I turned my head to the entrance of the green houses, and there he stood.

Sebastian Sallow.

"Oh, that's quite alright, Mr. Sallow!" Professor Garlick motioned for Sebastian to come and take a seat.

I watched him walk inside and take a seat at the opposite end of the potting table. He changed. Grew in a very good way: he was taller, his shoulder broader, his brown hair messier than before, but they still sat nicely, layer after layer, making him appeared a lot more attractive than I remembered. He wasn't wearing his house robe, instead , dressed in checkered Slytherin-colored vest, with a white shirt, it's sleeves rolled up, wearing grey p-checkered dress pants. Somehow I never noticed all of these features about Sebastian until now. I blamed it on the house robe. It must have hid them, that's all.

He caught my stare, his brown eyes meeting mine for a moment. I broke contact and looked down at my hands.

Crap! Why did I just do that?! What a stalker!

"Alright! Shall we begin with a small review?"

Professor Garlick's enthusiasm about herbology had always managed to draw me back to focus, yet somehow, it didn't work this time. I could still feel his eyes on me, but somehow, I couldn't bring myself to look back at him. I pondered if it was the distance that grew between us, or the way he looked. We went from inseparable, best friends to strangers, and I must admit, it hurt to acknowledge the truth. But I also couldn't fully blame him, not after everything he went through.

Flashback

I stopped receiving Sebastian's owls sometime in July. One morning, I sat outside on the porch of Natty's house, eagerly awaiting for the owls to arrive. But the one I looked forward to the most never came.

"Are you alright, Lily?"

Natty appeared standing behind me, arms crossed over her chest, a cozy blanket wrapped around her shoulders. I could tell she only recently woke up, and must have found me on her way to get some morning tea brewed.

"Y-yeah, I am just sorting through the letters," I looked at all the other owl posts in my hands, none of which belonged to Sebastian. Natty often wondered why I was upset to when I did not receive any owl posts from Sebastian, and while I was very tempted to explain everything that happened between us and to us, I knew that Natty could not know what truly happened. Nobody could. Sebastian, Ominis and I all swore to take what happened down with us, to our graves.

"It is hard to lose a family member, especially the only family member Sebastian knew."

I knew Natty was aware that I did not receive any owl posts from Sebastian. Her words were meant to be comforting, but they were bitter-sweet to me. Out of everyone, I, too, knew what it was like to lose someone close to you. I lost Professor Fig, my mentor. A father figure. So why couldn't Sebastian confine in me about his grief? Why must he stop sending me owl posts after what I told him? Was I not that important to him? Did everything we both go through meant nothing to him?

"Is tea ready?"

Natty couldn't see, but I felt tears running down my face as these questions continued to form in my mind, torturing me.

* * *

"Chinese chomping cabbages? I'm experiencing dejavu here."

Leander and I were sent to retrieve some of the cabbages for the class. We did a similar thing last year, where I had to use the Chinese chomping cabbages on a training dummy.

I wasn't paying him much attention as we walked above the green houses, navigating our way to where the cabbages were.

"You're very quiet," Leander walked up to my side, eyeing me.

I snapped myself back to the present, shaking my head at him, "I'm sorry, Leander. Just thinking."

"About what, if I may ask?" The Gryffindor man was sure nosy.

"Herbology,"I lied.

We made our way down the stairs, over to where the Chinese chomping cabbages were.

"Hey, thanks for the tie by the way. Whoever taught you the trick sure knows what they are doing."

"Don't mention it, it saved you time."

I heard a pair of footsteps descending down the staircase, before looking over and spotting Sebastian. He wore a small frown on his face as he came down, his eyes on Leander.

"I sure do, and it was me who taught her."

I almost dropped a small pot with the cabbage still inside it.

"Sallow, I should have guessed," Leander chuckled, picking up two pots with the cabbages. "You two were inseparable at a point in time."

Sebastian tossed his arms, watching as Leander walked by him, still chuckling. He wore a smile that let me know there definitely was some tension present, and that I didn't want to be a part of it.

"I'll meet you back in class, Lily."

I nodded, watching Leander go up the stairs, before disappearing out of the view.

"You remembered," Sebastian's eyes fell on mine, and I felt like the world around me stopped in that moment.

"Remembered what?"

"How to tie a tie my way."

"O-oh, of course I do," I hesitated, standing still with a pot in my hands.

Sebastian began walking towards me, extending his arms out, "Here, let me help you."

His hands brushed against mine, feeling their warmth and tenderness. I noticed they were bigger now, much bigger, but still just as gentle.

"Thank you," I managed to let out, letting go of the pot as he picked it up.

I was still avoiding his eyes, hesitating to make and maintain eye contact. I wasn't sure what was wrong with me, or why I suddenly began to react to my former best friend like that, but I knew something changed.

"Your hands..."

Sebastian put the pot down and took my hands in his, examining the scars. I felt frozen in the moment, just feeling his warm fingers slowly run their course through my scars, gentle and careful.

"I'm okay," I forced a smile out, hoping my flustered expression could be hidden from him. I still couldn't look into his eyes.

It's crazy how you could know someone so well, spend all your days and nights with them, and then all of the sudden feel like they are a stranger. What happened to us? What happened to me? If only we had more time together after everything that happened, perhaps then I'd be able to understand where we stand. Where I stand.

"I'm sorry, Lils..."

Something was different about the way Sebastian said those words, the way he called me by the nickname that he gave me himself. It sounded like he was breaking right in front of me. I looked up at him, but his hair covered his eyes as he continued to look down at my hands, before letting them go.

"Sebastian?"

"Come, Professor Garlick must think we got eaten by the Chinese chomping cabbages. And we can't have that now, can we?"

There was a certain degree of pain in both his voice and smile as he turned to go, looking over his shoulder at me. Sebastian was very good at masking his true feelings, especially feelings of hurt. But he was still himself. He was still Sebastian.