he tries his best to hide his fear and anxieties behind a wide smile and humour. he has to be strong. he is the ant-man and his daughter's hero. he has to be strong for her. and for his girlfriend.

he cannot sleep in complete darkness anymore. it scares him. it makes him fear he is back in the quantum realm, and trapped. unable to get back out again.

how did he get back out the first time? he cannot remember for the life of him. and that is what scares him the most about getting trapped again: he will not be able to repeat what had gotten him out the first time.

the darkness makes him feel like he's shrinking, falling backward into the realm between dust particles floating in the air.

he grew terrified that if he were to awaken from the nightmares, his love would not be at his side. that she was still but a pile of ash atop the roof of a parking garage. that she was still gone, just as half the universe's population had been for those—for him—short, yet treacherously long five years. when he found that she was gone, those short five years he had been trapped suddenly felt like a weight atop his shoulders. those few days he had come up with the plan to bring her back—to bring everyone back—felt like an eternity.

he felt it should not have taken that long, but he also knew he would have worked until his final breath in vain attempts at bringing the love of his life back from where she had disappeared to.

his world would have been too different without his wasp.

she was one of two things that made his heart feel full.

he awakens in the middle of nights, gasping for breath and tears streaming down his face. the wasp, lying in bed beside the ant-man, awakens at his jerking moments and flicks on the light and they hold each other tightly, assuring the other that everything was fine now. they are both alive and nothing will keep them apart.

they trace the faint scars on the other's face, where their helmets scratch when forming and retracting. they hold tightly to each other's hands, terrified if they let go, the wasp will turn to ash or the ant-man will shrink and disappear forever again.

they live like this now, with the fear of being cold and alone and half of a whole again.