let time stand still

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Hope hears her daughter's sniffles before they turn to cries, and she's already up and about from bed, lunging forwards to the side of the crib. Hope learns that she's attuned to Hailey's every whimper and cries, this is no exception. It had been an educational four months, and she's looking forward to learning more about her mini-me. She peeks into the crib to see that Hailey is wide awake on her tummy, not enjoying it, unable to roll over.


"Hey baby, it's alright," she coos, carrying her daughter out from the crib, cuddles her close. Scott, barely stirring, turns over and starts patting the empty space beside him, to which Hope raises a brow in response. It's absolutely comical, and she makes a mental note to tease him about it later.


Still, her daughter progresses to cry, exercising every bit of her tiny lungs, leaving Hope to wonder how a tiny human being could produce such a loud cry. Scott doesn't wake at all, instead mumbles something in his sleep and throws the covers over his head.


She couldn't blame him.


Despite the sleep-deprived nights and their hay wired biological clocks, both relishes in the loving glow of new parenthood.


Until the X-Cons scores a new security project that's more demanding than their other projects, forcing Scott to pull an all-nighter for the past one week. Though, usually, Scott isn't far away from them, can't bear to be, still insisting on taking turns to tend to Hailey, despite Hope's protests.


That is, until tonight. He is sleeping like a log.


She knows that he is beginning to sleep better, even years later, after The Blip. Hope thinks it's a silly word, too simple of a term to describe the impact and intensity of the trauma it had caused.


"Hey, hey, it's okay, mommy's here," Hope whispers, rubbing her daughter's small back soothingly in tiny circles, and placing a kiss on the side of her head. Her hair's not fully grown, but it's unmistakable that she's going to have a head full of fluffy, downy dark hair.


Hailey's arrival had caught the both of them by surprise, coming much earlier than Hope's intended due date. The first time she held Hailey, it had took her breath away. Soft and tiny, afraid that she'll break or drop her. Her heart swelling with love every passing minute as she cradles her in her arms. The moment Hailey scrunches up her face and cries, her heart breaks and it continues to break on countless occasions later, whenever it happens.


Hope checks off the usual suspects but Hailey is all well-fed and clean, and yet she's still letting out uncontrollable sobs. She looks at her daughter with a helpless smile, while Hailey fusses around in her arms, big, fat tears streaming down her pink dimpled cheeks.


She bounces her on her hip and sways from side to side, hoping the rocking rhythm will calm her down, and it does. Hailey stares at her, her eyes a shade of green just like her parents, quieting down, and resolves to tiny sobs.


"You want to take a walk don't you?" Hope smiles knowingly. "Alright, change of plans, we're going downstairs for a walk," she restrategises. She was more than capable of calculating complex equations and mapping out business plans, but Hailey is all about spontaneity, which is more of Scott's forte. Already determined to letting Scott sleep, Hope grabs Hailey's favourite blanket and walks out from the bedroom, closing the door quietly, but not before glancing at the bulge on the bed, Scott, still soundly asleep.


Juggling Hailey in her arm, who refuses to be let down on the play mat, Hope makes tea, not forgetting to turn on the bluetooth speakers in the kitchen, and a song from John Mayer plays on her Spotify playlist. Hailey calms down the moment they walk down the stairs, but now she's happy, waving her chubby hands about, as if enjoying the soft humming of the music, which Hope suspects she does. It's a trick that Scott and Hope had learned along the way, that their daughter seems to have an affinity towards music. Hope figures it's the causative effect of the music they feed her whenever Hope can't sleep when she's pregnant, Hailey somersaulting in her belly.


Taking a sip of tea, she moves to the living room, and sprawls out lengthwise on the couch with Hailey. Her daughter's eyes are wide and bright, with no signs of sleep taking over her, so Hope plans to tire her out.


"You're not going to sleep?" Hope grins.


She never takes happy Hailey for granted, so she starts to bounce her daughter up and down her tummy, and Hailey's sweet laughter fills up the room. Hope remembers the first time when Hailey starts to smile, and she sees the beginnings of Scott's smile (it's becoming more apparent now) in her dimpled face, and Hope prays to whoever's listening, that she'll grow up to be more like Scott, happy, carefree and sees the good in everything.


A heart of gold.


Hope hasn't return to Pym Tech yet, not yet. She's been working mostly from home, because she doesn't want to miss this, miss the milestones that Hailey's developing in every month of her life. Her perception has shifted after The Blip, after having Hailey, that her family comes first.


Her mother's right, you can't get back lost time. Occasionally, it hurts her heart to think about how fast time moves, that she just wants to hold Hailey at this certain age, and never let her grow up. But as with life, it moves on, chapters end and new ones begin.


In between holding Hailey up high, and blowing bubbly kisses at the crook of her neck, Hope hears familiar footsteps rushing down the stairs, in a frantic kind of way. Scott slows down, tiptoeing, when he approaches the hallway between the kitchen and the living room, and the soft, soothing voice of John Mayer fills his ears.


And he knows, he knows that Hope is in the living room, with Hailey.


That she's not going to disappear from existence.


You're being silly Scott. He chastises himself.


Steadying his breathing and calming his beating heart, Scott peeks into the living room, hands holding onto the doorframe and takes in the image of Hope holding Hailey, like he has seen numerous times - she's blowing imaginary bubbles on their daughter's tummy now, and Hailey is all giggly.


His heart trips all over itself.


Also, he likes the way the dim lights of the living room cast shadows of her eyelashes down her cheeks, emitting a warm soft glow. He can't help but stare longer, at the epitome of love. He commits everything to memory, engraving it in the back of his mind.


"I can hear you, you know."


Scott hears her smile in between the words.


"Why didn't you wake me?" He steps forward, hair sticking out at odd ends, eye bags dark from lack of sleep. Scott's eyes flicker to the wall clock, realises it's some ungodly hour.


"I think an earthquake couldn't even wake you up right now," Hope smirks, teases him.


A wide grin spreads on his boyish face. He sits on the floor, tucks his legs underneath him, and leans his upper body on the couch, reaching out to rub Hailey's back. Their daughter is slightly worn off by now, and Hope has settled Hailey on her chest. They watch her fight the drooping of her eyelids, not ready to give up just yet.


"She's a fighter, just like her mom," Scott laughs, and he starts to hum softly, a lullaby. His eyes are bright with love, real and raw.


Hope bites back a smile, but in truth, she's fighting back happy tears. She wouldn't have been here, with Scott, with Cassie, with Hailey, with her family if it wasn't for Scott's persistence. She doesn't know how did she get so lucky.


"Hey...," Scott snaps her out of it, notices the dampness of her eyelashes. He takes her hand, leans forward, and brushes a kiss on her knuckles. "It's all over Hope," he smiles warmly, comforts her but the words are for him too.


"Was it a nightmare?" Hope asks. And he knows she didn't miss his panicked footsteps down the stairs.


Scott shakes his head, "They're mostly happy dreams now." He isn't lying, the nightmares are fading away, and Scott chooses to focus on the present, and not the past.  "It's just...I'm just very cold without you by my side," Scott jokes but Hope clutches his hand tight, a small smile flashing across her face.


"She's asleep," Scott murmurs, gaze locking on Hailey. Hope glances down, and their daughter's eyes are finally closed, her chest rising and falling slowly, her breath evening out.


"You should get some sleep. Don't you have a meeting tomorrow?" She runs a thumb over his tired face. "I'll stay here a bit longer, make sure she doesn't wake up," Hope explains.


Scott doesn't like the idea of not having Hope by his side. "You think I could squeeze in?" He motions to the space of the couch but he climbs onto it nevertheless, next to Hope before she could even answer, only managing a gasp.


"Scott!" Hope just shakes her head and laughs softly.


"Shh-, you might wake her up," Scott wraps his arm around Hope, gives her a kiss on the side of her head and they adjust their positions, until Hope is comfortably snuggled under the crook of his arm, her head laying on his chest. He closes his eyes, soaking in the warmth of her, sighing contentedly. And then he's somehow already asleep, snoring softly, in sync with Hailey's breathing.


"Good night Scott," Hope smiles and presses a kiss on his chest, her hand gently patting Hailey's back. And the little family falls asleep to the soft music in the background. She knows they'll be alright.

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