if all my defenses come down, will you lay it all on me now?

Takes place after amatw, pretends the snap never happened.


Scott was surprised at how easily he became reintegrated with the Pym-Van Dyne family.


After Germany he had never expected to hear from either Hank or Hope again.  He had contemplated ways to get a hold of them, to maybe give the suit back several times but he always decided against it in the end, the risks outweighing the rewards.


Truthfully, it was the thought of Hope's reaction, the way she had reacted before, that stopped him each time.


Which is why he never thought he would be back here.  Training with Hope, working with her and with Hank, and now Janet as well.  It was almost as though nothing had ever happened.


Except, there was no "other stuffing" happening this time.


Scott had thought maybe he and Hope would rekindle their relationship when she kissed him on the dock after rescuing him from the bay, but so far nothing.  Sure, they'd hung out a few times, even had a movie night with Cassie, but Hope hadn't made a single move.  Scott knew she knew how he felt, Cassie had made that clear, and yet there was still nothing.


Guess she no longer felt the same way.


"You're thinking very loudly," a voice broke his reverie.  Scott looked up from what he was supposed to be working on to see Janet standing in the doorway, one eyebrow raised.


Scott chucked, "you know, if it had been Hank or Hope to come in they would have made some sort of comment about how I should stop before I hurt myself."


"Yes, well, I am neither my husband nor my daughter."  Janet approached the table, taking a seat across from Scott.  "Want to tell me what's on your mind?"


"Um, I- uh," Scott spluttered, trying to rapidly think up a lie.  How was he supposed to tell Janet he was pining over her daughter?


"Was thinking about Hope." Janet finished his sentence, expression unreadable.


Okay, apparently that's how you tell her.  "I- how do you even know that?"


"Side effect of quantum entanglement, I spent the last few years experiencing sensations of your thoughts and feelings.  Nothing concrete, but enough to piece together several bits of information, a few of which I could have done without."  She gave Scott a look and he felt his face grow hot, knowing exactly what Janet was referencing.


"Well," Scott said after what felt like an eternity of silence, "this is awkward."


Janet hummed an agreement before fixing Scott with a hard look.  "So, what exactly are your intentions towards my daughter?"  She let Scott choke incoherently over his words for a moment before smirking.  "Relax, I know how you feel, been in your head, remember?"


Scott heaved a sigh of relief.  "Then why ask?"


"Because I'm trying to figure out what you want from her."


Scott sighed again.  "Honestly, I want," he paused, "everything.  I want to wake up next to her every morning, to hold her at night, be there for her when she needs someone.  I want to see her and Cassie interact when she's with me every weekend, maybe even another kid if she wanted.  I want to do the relationship thing properly, but that's not what she wants so I'll take whatever capacity she wants me in her life.  I'd rather that than losing her again, not sure I could get through that a second time."


Janet was rendered speechless.  She had known that Scott had strong feelings for Hope but had no clue that they ran this deep.  But one thing seemed off, "what do you mean that's not what she wants?"


"I've made my position clear but she's made no move towards getting back together," Scott shrugged.  "And honestly, I'm not going to push the matter, I don't want her to feel uncomfortable, I'd rather just have her as a friend than accidentally push her away."


Janet smiled softly.  "You're a good man, Scott.  But you're also an idiot."


Scott laughed, "and there's the famous Pym-Van Dyne attitude I'm used to."



"So, are you ever planning on having a proper conversation with Scott about how you feel?"


"Wow, really pulling out all the stops there, Mom," Hope deadpanned, not looking up from the computer.


"I'm serious, Hope.  He thinks you don't feel anything for him beyond friendship."


Hope looked up sharply, "and why on earth would he think that?"


Janet sighed affectionately, moving to sit next to her daughter.  "Tell me, have you done anything that would express feelings beyond friendship to him?"


"I kissed him," Hope pointed out.


"After a near death experience when emotions were running high," Janet rebutted.  "Have you done anything since?"


"I've gone out with him!"


"Yes, but were those explicitly dates?"  Janet raised an eyebrow as Hope struggled to come up with an answer.  "I rest my case.  You need to talk to him, Jellybean."


Hope couldn't stop the small smile that flashed across her face at the childhood nickname, she had missed it so much.  "I guess you're right."


"I'm always right," Janet grinned.  "Just ask your father."


Hope chuckled wanly, pulling her mother in for a hug.  "Love you."


Janet smiled warmly, returning Hope's embrace.  "Love you too."



She couldn't do it.


Hope sat in her car – which thankfully she had had the foresight to park where Scott wouldn't be able to see from his window – trying and failing to muster up the courage to go and knock, feeling more pathetic by the second.


"For fuck's sake Van Dyne, it's just Scott, get your ass out of this car and knock on the damn door like an adult."  Hope muttered to herself, gazing out the window at the house.  It wasn't like she hadn't been there a thousand times, even stayed the night several times before Germany happened.  Suddenly a knock came on the passenger window.


She had certainly not prepared for the possibility that Scott would be out for a walk and would find her hiding in her car like an idiot.


She rolled down her window, "hi."


"Hey.  You, uh, want to come inside instead of sitting in your car maybe?"  Scott gave her a perplexed look.  "Just a thought."


"Inside, right, yeah."  Hope cringed at her response but got out of the car and followed Scott inside nonetheless, despite every part of her brain yelling at her to abort mission.


Get yourself together, it's Scott.  You know how he feels, everything is going to turn out just fine.


Once they were inside, Hope took a deep breath.  Now or never, "we need to talk."



"We need to talk."


Scott had been ecstatic to see Hope, the fact that she had shown up unannounced made him think he might actually still have a chance with her.


Then, she had said the dreaded words.


Scott took a seat on the couch, leaning forward, elbows resting on his knees and hands clasped together.  "About what?"  He asked, turning his head to look at Hope.


Hope took a seat next to him, back ridged and hands firmly on her knees.  "Us," she said softly.


"Okay," Scott replied slowly.  "And what about us?"


Hope hesitated, seemingly looking for the right words.  Scott was about to reassure her that she didn't have to say anything, that he understood when she muttered, "screw it," and surged forward to kiss him.


Scott's mind went blank as he kissed her back, lips moving together almost urgently, except for one thought; she does like me!



Hope had forgotten how nice it was to kiss Scott.


She had had a plan as to what she wanted to say and how she was going to say it, but all that had flown out the window once she was faced with actually saying it, so she chose instead to act on impulse.


And God was that ever a good decision.


They broke apart after a moment, the need for air more pressing than the desire either felt, foreheads resting against each other.


Scott was the first to break the silence.  "Not that I'm complaining, but we probably should actually talk."


Hope pulled back with a sigh, "yeah, you're right."  Awkward silence ensued for a minute before Hope finally spoke again.  "Why didn't you just ask me what my feelings on our relationship were?"


Scott ran his hands down his face, resting the side of his head on his fists.  "Because I didn't want to push the matter.  Figured if you weren't saying anything, you didn't feel the same, and I didn't want to lose you again."  He gave her a meaningful look.  "I can't lose you again."


"Oh, Scott," Hope trailed off, reaching forward to run the backs of a couple of fingers along Scott's cheek.  "I'm sorry, I thought I had made myself clear when I kissed you on the dock."


"Everything was so hazy and in the heat of the moment that I didn't take that for meaning anything."  Scott smiled softly at Hope.  "But I guess you don't do anything you don't mean, huh?"


Hope chuckled, "I try not to.  Though I do have some regrets."


"Don't we all," Scott muttered darkly.


"But one thing I've never regretted is you."  Scott looked up sharply.  "The months we've spent together are some of the best memories I have.  We might have hit a bump when Germany happened (Scott winced) but even with that I can't imagine a life with you in it where we're not together."


"Really?"


"Yes, you dork," Hope smiled from ear to ear.


"Hey, I'd watch your tone if I were you.  You told me I was right earlier, I could be lording that over you right now, but I'm not cause I'm a good person."  Scott responded, mock seriously.  Hope shoved him with a laugh.  "Ow," Scott pretended to be wounded.  "Okay, just for that I'm telling the guys you actually said the words 'you're right' to me."


Hope laughed again, "they'll never believe you."


"No, they won't."  Scott shook his head, chuckling.


They laughed for a moment more before Hope sobered, a small smile on her face.  "I've missed this."


"So have I," Scott admitted.  "So we're good?"


"We're good," Hope confirmed.


"Good."  Scott drew Hope close, her cuddling into his side.  "Because I think a nice quiet night in is what we both need.  I've got a bottle of red in the fridge and our Netflix list still exists from before, I'm pretty sure there's still a few movies in it."


"You kept the list?"  Hope asked, tilting her head to look up at him in surprise.  "And you haven't watched anything else from it?"


Scott shook his head.  "I guess part of me always hoped that we would get the chance to finish it together."


"That is the sappiest thing I've ever heard," Hope teased Scott.  "But it's also very sweet.  Wine and a movie sounds great to me right now.  Maybe we could order a pizza too?  No pineapple."


"What?  Pineapple is the BEST pizza topping," Scott argued.


"Fine, pineapple on half then."


"Deal."  Scott tilted his head to press a kiss on the top of Hope's head.  "I'm glad you're here," he whispered.


Hope smiled, snuggling further into his side.  "Me too."

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