How it Began - Part 2




He wasn't sure how it happened, but Sasuke ended up staying at Sakura's flat that night. He woke the next morning, laying on her couch with a soft pink blanket covering him. His shoes were at the door, though hers were absent. He lay there for a while, staring up at the ceiling and thinking deeply about what she had said to him. Was he that easy to read? He had assumed he wasn't. He thought that he had perfected his jaded expression.


He felt a small smile form on his lips.


But, this was Sakura. And, like Naruto, she knew him better than he'd like to admit. Nonetheless, he'd felt surprisingly better after her monologue. He didn't wnt to say she had scolded him – she hadn't really – or lectured him. It was more...finally saying what had been on her mind.


If only she'd said all that back then...


No, the first time he left the village, she told him she loved him. She even offered her assistance, "I'll come with you; I'll help you with your revenge!"


His smile faded. Even back then, he knew what he was getting himself into. He knew Orochimaru was dangerous. He knew the Sannin would try to steal his body. People assumed he didn't know...but he did. Which was why he pushed her away. What did she know about all this? He was an angry mess and she had no reason to end up as fucked up as him. She had a family – why would he take her away from that? It'd be stupid. Selfish.


"I love you!"


He frowned at the memory. Why, Sakura? Why did she love him? He was so...so...unlovable. He'd done everything that hurt her and she just wouldn't give up. He was messed up in the head; bent on hurt and anger and vengeance and from a frankly fucked up clan full of hypocrisy and lies...even if she didn't understand that then surely she would now. She had seen him at his absolute worst. She had seen him covered in blood and screaming like a maniac. She had seen him try to kill her best friend over and over again. He had tried to kill her. He didn't, but he tried. Right up until the end, humiliating her by rebuffing her feelings, claiming that she was nothing more than a foolish child caught up in a fantasy where he told her he loved her and would protect her always...he couldn't do that. He wasn't strong enough. Not to love again.


So, why didn't she give up? At first, he assumed it was purely superficial. Sasuke wasn't stupid; he knew he had won the genetic lottery. He knew he was good looking. So he thought that after a while, she'd find someone else to ogle at. The Yamanaka girl had, as far as he was aware. She didn't declare her eternal love for him every five minutes. Sakura did. Which meant, it must be more than skin-deep attraction.


Sasuke was convinced that under his physique he was as ugly as they could get. If souls had a color, his would have a likeness to a bruise. Even if what Sakura said was true – him refusing to let himself feel anything was making him cold and empty – he understood himself well enough that even if he did learn to break open the box he'd buried his emotions in, that he most likely wouldn't use them. They were old, fragile. He wouldn't be able to reciprocate the way she felt about him. But, if she hadn't moved on by now, when would she? All her friends were growing up, getting their own love lives sorted. Naruto and Hinata weren't far off from marriage. That Nara kid, he had Gaara's sister. Even Gaara had fallen for one of his guards or something. Ino had Sai. Even Choji was getting caught up with a Suna girl.


Sasuke scoffed. He'd end up in the same boat as Kiba. Dog-boy was still single, apparently. Even that bug weirdo with the glasses was interested in someone. Sasuke couldn't see himself as a boyfriend, or husband, or whatever. He'd fail at being a father. His own wasn't any good, not really, and Sasuke knew he wasn't as good as Itachi with kids. He didn't think he'd like to be his own big brother.


"Not if I go around murdering them for the wrong reasons."


He instantly felt bad, but pushed the feeling away. He'd moved on from that. Meeting Itachi again helped.


But who will Sakura end up with?


He couldn't see her with Kiba. They were too different, and Sasuke thought he liked that Hinata girl anyway. Honestly, he thought that she'd end up marrying Naruto or something. They got along well, they knew each other, and they were close. But, somehow, the idea of them actually being together romantically made him...angry? No, more...annoyed?


"Tch...she's so annoying."


He thought about it a while longer, but sat up abruptly when he could feel anger rising in his chest, "Stupid girl! Why do I even care? If she wants to love a reformed criminal then let her. What does it matter to me?"


He stood up and rubbed his face, confused at himself. He did care, to an extent. He didn't want her to be lonely - she didn't deserve that. But what he most certainly, absolutely, most definitely did not care about one tiny bit was who she shared her life with. Not at all.


Shut it, Sasuke.


He smoothed out the cushions and folded the blanket, before helping himself to a tomato from her fridge – he didn't feel like a proper breakfast, his insides were mixed up and he wasn't sure why – and after a short trip to the bathroom (why did girls insist on leaving their bras hanging over the shower rail!? He thought it was just Karin...) he headed out onto the street.


He had noticed it last evening, but in the daylight it was a lot more obvious. Konoha had truly modernized. It was sort of scary, seeing everything blinking and shining. New shops lined the streets with the latest fashions. He looked briefly, but nothing caught his eye. Well, aside from the stares of passer-byes. Some smiled, some scowled, others just looked curiously at his face. He wondered whether there was something stuck on him for a moment, before he remembered the rinnegan. That was one disadvantage – he couldn't deactivate it. He didn't mind particularly, it was just the uncensored staring that bothered him.


"Oi! Sasuke! Is that you?"


He turned sharply, only to meet the droopy gaze of Shikamaru. The man smiled briefly, "Good to see you back! Naruto told me you arrived last night. At least you came on your own accord this time!" he laughed, though faltered once he noticed Sasuke's unimpressed stare, "A-ah...too soon?"


"Huh...it's good to be back."


"Oh, that reminds me, Kakashi wants to see you. He has a task for you or something."


"He said I was off active duty for three weeks."


"Oh, it's not a mission. Just a task, like an errand or something. I don't know, but you should go see him about it. He was pretty keen."


Sasuke nodded slowly, "Ok. Thank you for telling me."


"Ah, no problem, just make sure-" Sasuke was gone. Scratching the back of his head, Shikamaru looked towards the Hokage Tower, "I hope this doesn't go awry, Kakashi-san. Sakura's at risk, ya know. Ah...troublesome."


***


"You want me to do what?"


"It's just helping out, Sasuke."


"I don't know anything about hospitals!"


"You don't need to. She's got a clinic of her own; you just do what she asks you to do. It's hardly difficult, Sasuke."


He lifted the stump of his left arm and shook it, causing the sleeve to flap, "I'm practically disabled, don't you need both arms to be a medic nin?"


"I'm not asking you to qualify as a medic, just help Sakura at her clinic for the day. Her usual assistant is away on a mission for two weeks and she'll run herself ragged doing all the work on her own. And, Sasuke, if you can take down an entire band of rogue ANBU and track down remnants of Kaguya's chakra with only one arm, you can follow Sakura about her business and call in patients."


"I don't know if you haven't noticed, but the general public don't like me very much."


Kakashi bridged his fingers, "You won't be working with the general population. Sakura works in the Children's Mental Healthcare clinic. Those kids are orphans from the war with psychiatric issues. She was right, you know – she wanted to set up this extra part of the hospital because she was aware of the village's previous...inabilities to care for its orphans, especially the mentally disadvantaged ones. They won't know who you are. You might be able to help them, actually. They've lost their families, like you lost yours. You could probably relate."


"I'm not good at that." Sasuke stated vigilantly. His insides were all messed up again. Sakura did...all that? For orphans? It was true...when Sasuke's family had died, the Third had simply placed him in a small flat, much like Naruto's, after he left the hospital. His old bed had been moved in, but everything else was new. He couldn't remember how many times the Third had visited him. He spent most of his time outside training anyway. Other than the kids at the academy, people tended to avoid him. He was the survivor of a cursed clan, why wouldn't they? But now, with Sakura's work...orphans had somewhere to go. He'd have to see it for himself. He wanted to.


"I don't care. In any case, you'll be spending time with Sakura. She missed you a lot, you know. She wondered when that 'later' would come."


Sasuke fought a blush.


Kakashi sighed, smiling, "Anyway, get your ass to the hospital. Or I'll send Naruto to drag it there. Either will do." With that, he continued with his paper work.


Scowling, Sasuke made one last remark before leaving, "You're so irritating."


"Not annoying?"


"No. Sakura is annoying."


***


"Sasuke?!"


"Don't. Kakashi asked me to come."


Sakura put a gloved finger to her lip, and smiled, "Well, actually I could use your help. There's one little girl in particular...she won't talk to me, but maybe she will to you. Firstly, let me show you where everything is."


Sasuke had to admit; she looked nice in her uniform. She wore her usual red dress, but had a long white coat over the top, with a red collar and hem. She wore white gloves, and her hair was tied in a low ponytail. She looked...smart. Professional. Mature. He liked it.


She took him to her office, which doubled as an examination room. Her desk was wooden, strewn with papers. There was a stiff white bed with a curtain on one side, and mountains of cupboards.


"It's still a bit disorganized. The building was finished last year, you see, so everything's been a mad rush. Most of the cupboards are empty, these are the important ones..." she pointed out syringes, bandages, drugs, antibiotics, clipboards and survey sheets, books and toys. Sasuke's genius brain memorized everything quickly.


"Sakura-senpai?"


With a jump, Sakura answered the knock at the door, "Keito-san!"


Keito smiled warmly at her – Sasuke felt his eyebrows knot at the sight.


"We've got a case of recklessness, it seems," Keito laughed, and brought forward a young boy, clutching onto his arm with tearstains on his cheeks.


"Daisuke-chan..." Sakura fussed, kneeling to look him in the eye, "What on earth happened?"


The child mumbled something that Sasuke couldn't hear. Meanwhile, Keito looked over Sakura, and locked eyes with Sasuke, "Aa! Sakura-senpai, I'm sorry I didn't know you were busy."


"Huh? Oh, no, this is Uchiha Sasuke. He's my replacement assistant until Jou-chan gets back." She quickly ushered the boy inside and placed him on the bed.


"Uchiha? Aa, I've heard a lot about you, Uchiha-san. I'm Kagurou Kei-"


"I heard." Sasuke glared.


"A-Aa...of course, well, it's nice to meet you. May I call you Sasuke-"


"No."


"Aa."


"A-anou...Keito-san, I better get on with Daisuke...would you mind checking up on room B please?"


"Oh! Of course, I'll see you later Sakura-senpai!" the door shut quietly after him.


"There was no need for that, Sasuke," Sakura muttered as she examined Daisuke's arm. The child seemed to be distracted by Sasuke, so it was an easier job for her.


"I don't like him."


"You don't like anyone."


"No, I mean I actually don't like him."


She smiled at that, "Ah, I see." Her attention turned back to Daisuke, "It looks like it's been broken, sweetheart."


"Eh?!" the boy's eyes filled with tears, "Can I be fixed?"


"Of course you can! Don't cry, angel, don't cry," she hushed, and wiped his tears, "Sasuke, can you half-fill a millimeter syringe with grade one anesthesia please?"


He got to work as Sakura gathered bandages and a numbing swab, and showed Daisuke the range of colors his plaster cast could be.


As Sakura injected the anesthesia (followed by more crying from Daisuke) Sasuke watched and wondered how she could be so calm and efficient and kind and understanding all at once. She managed to run through the procedure quickly and accurately, managing not to break her concentration as she worked on the boy's arm while simultaneously calming him down with soothing words. She was spectacular, really. Sasuke was too brash, too violent to handle such a delicate situation. And, admittedly, his patience reserves were pretty shallow.


More children entered her room after Daisuke left with Keito. Some she just spoke to, and others she patched up. All of them responded well to her; one of them begged to stay longer.


It was three hours after Sasuke arrived that Sakura finally left her room. She asked Sasuke to follow her, and they went further into the hospital. Long corridors were decorated with children's artwork. One particular wall had paintings or pictures of families. "It's like a final goodbye," Sakura explained, "The kids write messages on the back of the pictures and hang them up. It's worked well for most."


They walked for a little longer, and soon stopped in front of a pink, windowless door. Sakura bit her lip, "Sasuke-kun?"


"Hm?"


"There's something I want you to do for me." She was nervous; that much was clear.


"What is it?"


The Kinoichi sighed, and then looked him in the eye; "There's a little girl in here. She won't talk to anyone. Every nurse has tried. I have, and so has Naruto. She just won't respond to anything we say. She started crying with one of the nurses. We've attempted every route, every question, but none of us can get through to her. She just won't talk. It's not like she can't; she told Naruto to go away, and that he smelled of ramen," she had to chuckle at that, "But she won't say anything else."


"What is it you want her to say?"


"I want her to tell me what's wrong. She lost her father in the war; he was a shinobi. He was all she had, apparently. No other family members have come forward, and previous neighbors and friends never mentioned anyone else. I'm scared that she's been affected in a way that I won't be able to understand until she tells me what she's feeling. I want to help her, but she won't let me."


"And you want me to go in there?"


"Yes."


"What good will I do? If none of you can get through..."


"You're different. You do things differently. Maybe you can do what we can't. It's worth a try, for her sake, and for my sake."


She noticed his hesitation, and decided on a different tactic.


"Look, Sasuke, most of the funding comes from the Council. This hospital is taking money from the ANBU funds. And that would be ok, if ANBU officials wouldn't keep complaining. Council members have threatened to cut funding if I can't prove that my work here is worth it. Hundreds of orphaned children have been treated here, and so far, they've either been adopted or gone on to live happier lives. This is like a home for them. This is their safe place; somewhere where they can come and talk and get help. If funding is reduced or stopped, they won't have that anymore. I can't do that to them. Even if I fail at helping one little girl, ANBU officials will point it out and use it against me. I need your help for this, Sasuke. Just this once, I'm asking something of you. Please."


"...What's her name?"


Sakura could have cried with relief at that, "She's called Hima. She's seven years old."


"Ok."


Sakura turned the door handle slowly, and pushed open the door.


Sat on the bed with her back to them was a tiny girl with long black hair, facing a window. She didn't move even when Sakura and Sasuke entered the room.


"Hima-chan?"


Nothing.


"How are you today? I've brought someone with me. His name is Sasuke. He'll be in here for a while, is that ok?"


She didn't even move an inch.


"I'll be back in an hour, Sasuke-kun."


"Wait, Sakura-"


"She's only a kid," Sakura winked, and closed the door after her. Sasuke felt abandoned for a moment.


His eyes went back to the kid. Sasuke inhaled deeply, summing up the courage to approach her. Seriously, Sasuke; she's just a kid.


Hima was stock still even as Sasuke came up next to her. Unsure of what to do, he cautiously sat down next to her, with enough space between them so that if she stretched out her arm, she would just about be able to touch his arm.


Sasuke looked over at her from the corner of his eye. She clutched a lopsided bear to her chest tightly, and concentrated on the world outside her window. She really was a tiny thing, with skinny arms and legs, a tiny nose and thin lips. Even her blue eyes were small.


Sasuke settled with staring outside the window along with her. He wasn't sure what had piqued her interest so much – there was a tree, with one of the branches coming close to the window, and a part of the road below, but that was all. Quickly becoming bored, Sasuke replayed the events of the day in his mind.


Half an hour passed without a word between them. Sasuke could feel himself become restless, and wondered how the little girl could stay still for so long. Had she used her chakra to immobilize herself? No, no seven year old could do that. Sasuke wasn't sure if he could, and he wasn't about to try either.


"Aren't you going to ask me?"


Her voice was so soft; Sasuke firstly thought he imagined it. But thirty seconds later, she asked again, "Aren't you going to ask me?"


"Ask what?"


"What's wrong with me." Her grip on the bear tightened a little.


"I should, but I won't."


Hima looked up at him curiously, "Why?"


"Because you won't answer me."


"No, I won't. I don't want to."


"Then I won't ask."


Silence settled over them again. Sasuke followed her gaze to the window, then to the clock. It was one in the afternoon.


Hima stood up and walked to the bedside table, and took out a small ball of bread from the drawer. Sasuke watched her as she opened the window and placed the bread under the hatch. She sat on the floor with her hands on the windowsill, and waited.


Moments passed. A small, black bird came and sat on the branch. It cocked its head side-to-side, curiously watching Hima and Sasuke. The girl tapped on the sill, but it made no effort to eat the bread. She sighed.


Seeing her crestfallen face, Sasuke locked eyes with the bird and quickly took control of its mind with the rinnegan. Confused, the bird squawked and flapped, though quickly calmed as Sasuke's conscious settled over it. He willed it forward; it obliged.


Hima gasped with delight as the bird began to peck at the tiny meal.


"He never does that!" she whispered in glee. Sasuke felt a small smile creep up on his lips as he watched her gaze at the bird as it ate. He kept his hold over it.


Soon, Hima reached out her hand. Just as her fingers brushed over its feathers, it squawked in fear and shock, flapping its wings against her. She jumped back in fright – Sasuke quickly calmed it.


Noticing her sadness, Sasuke quietly knelt beside her and held out his hand to the bird. He willed it to come forward, and it did so, cautiously stepping onto his hand. He caught Hima's mouth opening and closing in astonishment. The expression amused him; a light laugh escaped his lips.


"Do you want to touch it?"


She nodded with enthusiasm.


He brought it closer, willing it to keep still as her fingers gently brushed over its feathers.


"How are you doing that?"


"I just am."


Soon, he released his hold and the bird flew away. A cool breeze stirred the air, shifting Sasuke's hair from his face. He heard a tiny gasp, and looked toward the girl.


"Your eyes don't match!" she whispered, "One of them is purple..."


"I guess it is."


"Why?"


He shrugged, "Who knows?"


She crawled towards him, staring up at him with her cheeks slightly puffed. He held her stare. She dropped it after a while; her eyes flicked left to right. Tentatively, she reached out and touched his left sleeve.


"You've only got one hand. You're all...muddled up."


He had to smirk at the irony, "I guess I am."


"It's ok. I'm muddled up too." She rolled up the sleeve of her right arm. Her skin was twisted and red, black in the folds. Sasuke's eyes widened in shock, has Sakura seen this?


Hima held up her other arm for comparison, "See? It's the same on my leg as well," she said, and rolled down her sock.


Sasuke shifted slightly, "Why is that?"


Hima looked down, her cheeks slightly puffed again. It took a minute, but she answered, "If you tell me how you lost your arm, I'll tell you how I got messed up. Deal?"


Sasuke smiled again, if only a little, "Deal."


"You go first."


"I was fighting in the war, against someone very powerful. I thought I wanted to kill him, but it turned out I didn't. It turned out he didn't want to kill me either. Our jutsu's has already been summoned; I couldn't stop it, but I held back. The cost of not killing my opponent was my arm. That's how I lost it. Your turn."


Hime nodded in understanding, and took a deep breath; "There was a big fire in the war shelter. I tried to run away with my papa but it was too quick. Papa pushed me down and tried to cover me, but my right arm and leg were stuck out. I got burned before the water ninja came and put it out. It hurt a lot..." she rubbed at her skin, "And it's ugly now. But, I..." she trailed off.


Sasuke cocked his head to one side, leaning against the bed. He offered no encouragement to resume, but didn't shut her off either. After a few minutes of shifting and quick looks, she continued, "I would rather my whole skin be ugly and my papa be alive. I miss my papa very much. Very, very much..." she whispered.


Tears started to fall from her eyes.


She looked at him solemnly, unsure and frightened. To Sasuke, it looked like she wanted comfort, but at the same time, didn't want to be pitied. Sasuke decided he wouldn't do either.


Instead, he pulled her close and wrapped his arm around her tiny frame as she sobbed into his chest, still clutching onto that bear.


"It's ok. I miss mine too."


She looked up at him for a brief moment, and then settled into his side.


"Why didn't you tell the nurses that? They're worried about you."


She pouted slightly, and gripped onto his shirt. "They ask too many things. Question, question, question. I don't want to tell them. It's private."


"They want to help."


"They can't get my papa back."


"No. No they can't. No one can. But it doesn't mean you can't talk about him."


Hima looked up at him again.


"The nurses just want to make sure you're ok. If you want, they'll find you a new family. But you have to talk to them. You can talk about anything; they just want to see that you can carry on. Can you?"


She shook her head, "I don't want to. Not without my papa."


"Do you think he would want to hear that?"


Ten minutes later, she replied with a quiet, "No."


Silence settled over them again after that. Hima crawled onto his lap; Sasuke didn't stop her. She settled down, and within moments, was asleep.


Sakura quietly entered the room at exactly one-thirty. He heard her gentle gasp as she clambered over the bed, "Sasuke-kun?"


"She's asleep."


Sakura's expression was difficult to read. It was like pride mixed with satisfaction and happiness. Sasuke quickly looked away from her, embarrassed. Never in a million years did he think he'd be caught with a child asleep on his lap. It was so...un-Sasuke-ish. Or at least he thought that. Sakura wished she had a camera to capture the moment.


"What did she say?" she asked, settling beside him.


"She misses her father. You know about the burns...?"


Sakura nodded at that, "She was in an awful state when she got here. Did she mention the fire?"


"Yes. Her father protected her but he died. That's what she said."


"Anything else?"


"She doesn't want to move on without him."


"...I see. Like most of the others then." Sakura rested against him, and stroked Hima's hair, "So why didn't she tell me all this?"


"She doesn't like all the questions."


"Well, how did you get it out of her then?"


"I didn't. Not really. She only started talking half an hour ago, when she mentioned my eyes and my arm. She showed me her scars and told me how they got there. That's all. I barely said anything."


"So that's it..."


Sasuke shifted in his spot, "My legs are dead."


With Sakura's help, he moved Hima onto the bed where Sakura tucked her in. She sighed deeply, and smiled, "Thank you Sasuke-kun. This has been a real help, you know."


"I didn't do anything."


"You did! Hima-chan opened up to you, and now we can help her. Funding will continue; my work is saved," she grinned, and clapped her hands. Sasuke couldn't help feeling just slightly proud of himself for that. Finally, he'd made Sakura smile instead of cry. He did a good thing. That woman he had met on his travels was right.


Sakura quietly closed the door behind her once they left the room. "Sasuke-kun, I'd better get on and tell the nurses about Hima-chan. After that, I've just got a bunch of meetings to go to, so unless you want to help Keito-kun, then-"


"I'll just go."


She giggled, and Sasuke could feel a blush around his neck. It wasn't even funny.


"Ok, Sasuke-kun, I'll see you later!" she waved, and rushed down the corridor. 



Comment