Seeing Yourself

It was harder than he imagined to make his eyes open the next morning. He was starving, still having eaten nothing since the previous morning, but the bed was so unbelievably comfortable. He'd never even slept on anything besides a stiff cot. Not that he was ungrateful, but now he knew exactly why people spent so much money on such things. 

A soft knock echoed from the door, then Rule's voice slipped through to him a moment later. "Am I going to have to come in there and wake you myself, Hari? You've already missed breakfast." 

Aw. 

The idea of working on an empty stomach, again, made Harper groan into his pillow, drawing a laugh from the other side of his bedroom door. "I saved you some of mine, as I ate a large dinner, so best get up quickly or I might get hungry again and decide to finish it off." 

Harper didn't need anymore encouragement. He jumped out of bed and hurried to get himself dressed for the day. The moment he considered himself presentable, he opened the door to a grinning Rule. 

"Hey there, lass. Good morning." 

It was hard to focus on Rule when Harper's eyes had already found the tray of food sitting off to the side between two large chairs in the sitting room. The scent from it made his stomach growl loudly, drawing another laugh from Rule. 

"I can see that I'm not the most important thing currently. Fill your belly, then we'll go over what I need you to do today, alright?" 

Harper nodded absently, not even remembering to turn toward Rule respectfully, and instead nodded in the direction of the food before hurrying over to it. He did remember to take a seat before picking up the plate of eggs, ham and porridge. The food had clearly been picked at, but it was obvious that it had also been way too much of a portion for one man. 

"Matilda seemed to think that I needed two portions, even though I swear I remembered to inform the chef early this morning that we would need two plates, and thus, two separate portions." Rule said with a hint of a chuckle in his voice as he dropped into the seat next to the small table nestled between the two chairs. 

"I swear that woman isn't nearly this bad to new people. Yesterday was more a test for her than for you. I wanted to see how far she was willing to push someone new. She got quite frustrated when I recently refused to hire one of her relatives that had a theft on their record, and I assume now that she thinks I'm already hiring you, that she needs to make you look bad in order to get back at me." 

Too engrossed in his food to respond, and with a full mouth, Harper just nodded at Rule's words, earning himself a pat atop his head from the other man. "You're such a sweet lad. So forgiving." 

Harper shot Rule a look, drawing a smirk from the man as he raised an eyebrow. "I'm glad you're still chewing or I'd probably be being put in my place right now for that jest, hm?" 

Nodding, Harper swallowed, scowled, then refocused on his breakfast. He wanted to reprimand the man, but honestly, he didn't feel like he should right then. Rule had clearly saved him breakfast and allowed him to sleep in. If he wanted to joke around a bit, he would let the jabs pass. 

"Arthur would be staring at you in shock for not defending yourself. Perhaps you really are a lad and you're just tired of us poking at you." 

Fighting a grin of his own, Harper shrugged his shoulders as he finished off the portion of eggs and turned his attention to the large slab of seared ham. 

"You sure eat a lot for a little lady." Rule continued, likely catching on to Harper's bit of playfulness. 

  Finishing up the pork, Harper finally took in a deep breath and relaxed back into the large stuffed chair. It easily swallowed his thin form, but Rule looked quite at home in his as he leaned on the armrest, smile firmly in place as he waited for a response. 

Feeling quite sated, Harper took his time picking at the porridge as he replied between small bites. "Young ladies need their food to grow." 

Rule's eyebrow ticked up. "Oh? And how old might you be, miss, that you are still growing?" He asked. 

Harper pursed his lips to keep from smiling. "It is not very gentlemanly to ask a lady her age, my lord." 

"I'm not the best gentleman," He said, adding a wink before standing and turning toward him. "Alright, I have quite a large event happening tomorrow evening as a bit of fun before the coming season." 

Tilting his head, Harper considered what kind of odd event Rule would host. He didn't think the man could possibly have some simple dinner or dance, but he also couldn't figure out what else he could do. 

"Using that brain, I like it when you try too hard to figure out my plans." Rule joked, drawing a blush from Harper as he pushed himself up, feeling much better after having eaten. 

"I will be hosting a ball, of sorts, Hari." He stated, making Harper's brows rise. 

A ball? That's all? 

He felt a bit relieved at such a simple answer, but when Rule's smile began to grow, Harper felt his stomach fidget nervously. "That's not all, is it?" He asked, his voice a monotone. 

"Of course not, lass!" Rule chimed as he took a step back, then, with a flourish, gave a deep bow. 

"My dear, I will be hosting a crossdressing ball." 

Of course he would. Why did I not see this coming? 

Sarcasm aside, Harper was having trouble keeping his breathing even enough to stay on his feet. "I can see that the idea is quite appealing to you, Hari." Rule said, catching on that he was not considering the idea appealing in the least. 

"Well, if you wouldn't mind running that tray down to the kitchen to be washed, I'd like for you to head to the seamstress' quarters afterward. It's pretty close by, so just ask one of the servants to point you in the right direction." 

I'm sure Matilda would help me find the right direction. He thought with a shake of his head as he leaned over and picked up the tray. He then turned and bowed to Rule. "Yes sir." 

"When she finds something that will fit you, come back up here so that I can check it before we finalize it." 

"Yes sir, I will." 

After being dismissed, Harper hurried down to the kitchen. There weren't too many people about, even though, judging from the light coming in from the giant windows above the main staircase, it was likely getting close to noon. 

I suppose they're all eating lunch or enjoying the weather with tasks outside. 

He wouldn't have minded lounging about outside in the sun for a short time, but he wanted to be sure that he made a good impression on lord Rule, so he needed to get what the man requested of him done first. Once he'd dropped off the tray to a young maid working on dishes in the sink, he stepped out of the room and looked about, wondering if he could find someone to bring him to the seamstress. He didn't want to bother the young girl working, so he strode about for a short time. 

Unfortunately, the one person he did end up finding, was definitely not the one he wished to see. 

"Oh hello there, little Hari. How are we this afternoon? Rest well?" 

I would not have slept in if I had been allowed a decent meal and a break yesterday. Hari hissed to himself, biting his tongue as to not have the woman run back to Rule the moment he uttered something negative. 

"Good afternoon." He mumbled before turning away. He intended to find someone else. Anyone else, to take him to the seamstress, but Matilda seemed determined to ruin his day, again. Her sharp nails snagged his arm and forced him to stop and slowly turn to face her with a fake smile on his face. 

"I could use you if Rule hasn't already given you something to do." She stated, tightening her grip on his arm. 

I think this is the only time I will ever be grateful for Rule's strange ideas. 

"I do apologize, but I am due at the seamstress." He said, trying to pull away from the woman. Her fake smile dropped slightly, bringing a glare to her gaze that made him shrink back a little. 

"Oh, not to worry. The seamstress is right through those doors, down the hall, then through a few short walkways. You can't miss her." 

Before Harper could question Matilda for more detail, the woman hurried away with a swing of her hips. She's not even wearing a maid uniform today... He pushed the thought away as soon as it had come up. It didn't matter to him what she wore. Rule had said that she was one or his servants. 

He turned his attention toward the pair of doors she had pointed at across the marble and carpet he had so carefully scrubbed the previous day. Well, hopefully she is at least sending me in the right direction. It wouldn't surprise him in least if she wasn't, but he needed to get a move on if he wanted to find the seamstress, faulty directions or not. So, grudgingly, he headed in the direction she had told him to. 

It was no shock to him when he found himself lost, having gotten turned around after going through a fifth pair of doors. The home was much larger than he'd thought. Each hall looked just similar enough to the last that he couldn't determine which way he had come from when doubling back. 

After at least an hour, he leaned back against a dark purple door and sighed, closing his eyes at the headache beginning to pound through his temple. "Perfect." He whispered right as the door behind him opened and he went stumbling backward onto his backside with a yelp. It took him a moment to realize what had happened, then another few seconds to scramble back to his feet and notice a tall, gangly woman with a shock of bright red hair and a pleasant smile watching him as she closed the doors he'd just fallen through. 

"Hello there, you must be here for a fitting for the ball?" 

Harper nodded, unsure of what else he should say to the woman. When she nodded in return, then headed over to her desk where she picked up some measuring tape, he hesitantly followed. "Remove your shirt and skirt please, and hold your arms out to the side." Harper's face paled immediately and he shook his head, darting a glance toward the door. 

The woman raised an eyebrow when he didn't comply. "Oh don't tell me you're nervous, I'm sure you've been to a seamstress before to get that outfit fitted." She stated, making him blush as he shook his head. 

Giving a huff, the woman put her hands on her hips, opened her mouth to argue, then sighed at the look on his face. "Fine, fine. But don't get upset if I can't find anything that fits well." 

Harper smiled brightly and nodded. "I won't mind at all, ma'am, thank you!" 

His enthusiasm drew a quiet laugh from the woman as she walked around him, measuring his body as best she could through his clothing. "Alright, I think I might have something sitting around. Have a seat while I look... and take a deep breath, you're scaring me, lass." 

Biting his lower lip, Harper backed into a corner and dropped into the hardwood seat there. He fidgeted every few moments, but he did manage to calm down as he focused on the woman as she dug through chest after chest of garments. They were all crisply folded and clearly well taken care of. It took her quite a while to find the specific one she wanted, but when she finally returned everything else to the chests, then turned to him, holding out the folded items, Harper stood up and nervously took them. 

"Now then, off you go. Behind that changing screen. I need to see them on you to be sure." 

Knowing that he'd already gotten lucky with her willingness to bend her rules, Harper hurried behind the screen and stripped quickly. The white breeches were a worn leather, but the garment was clearly well made and taken care of. Harper marveled at the gold buttons lining the left pant leg by the pocket. They were likely not real gold, but they were beautiful to him none-the-less. He easily fastened the pants on his waist, then secured the belt that had already been threaded through the needed holes. 

A smile widened his face at how well they fit. He wanted to look at himself in a mirror already, but he knew that he had to hurry and get the shirt on so that she didn't try to check on him. Taking the next garment, he eyed it with even more enthusiasm as he held it up. 

Gorgeous. 

Dark blue and red covered the fancy long sleeved shirt and the fabric was incredibly soft to the touch. Harper slid it on and buttoned it easily. Once done, he turned to the last item and pulled it on over top the shirt. It was a white waistcoat with dark blue lacing. The threads gave him a bit of trouble, but by the time he finally stepped out from behind the screen, he knew that he had managed decently well judging by the woman's pleased expression. 

"My my my! If I hadn't seen you come in wearing that maid uniform, I would swear upon the lord that you were a young lad, not a lass in the least!" The woman said with nearly too much enthusiasm as she clasped her hands together in front of her chest. 

"Perfect, just perfect! Run along now, master Rule requested that he see the outfit before it's finalized, but I just know that he'll approve." 

Oh right. I have to show him. 

Harper wasn't sure how he felt about walking in front of the other man as a male, but he knew that he couldn't avoid doing so. Rule had requested it, and if he didn't go, the lord would just come find him. 

"Alright, ma'am. Thank you for your help. I'll be back soon for my clothing." He said, getting a chuckle from her. "Oh don't worry about that, lass. If you take a bit, I'll just have your clothing sent up. Oh, and be sure to take the first two rights when you go down the hall, then slip through the little servants passage that's usually open by there. It will let you out right next to the main staircase, since you seemed a bit lost when you arrived." 

Grinning, Harper thanked her for the direction, then headed off. Thankfully, she was much nicer than Matilda, and her directions were perfect. He came out right by the stairs and ran up them with a vigor he hadn't possessed in years. He was worried that he might look too much like a boy now, but at the same time, he was eager to see himself in the floor-length mirror he'd seen in his temporary bedroom. 

He knocked several times and waited a few minutes before letting himself into Rule's quarters. The man wasn't in, which wasn't a surprise. Harper headed for his own room and pushed aside the curtains by the large window to let in more light. 

"Perfect." 

Turning toward the mirror, Harper licked his lips and nervously took slow steps forward. He didn't look into the glass until he was right in front of it. Wow. Without thinking, he reached forward and pressed his fingers to the cool surface, shocked at how he looked. After so many years of only seeing himself as a female maid, seeing his body clad in male garments, and fine ones at all, was a shock. 

He stared for several silent moments before his front braid softly slid beside his left eye, drawing his attention to it. 

Hello, Abby. I hope you've been doing well in heaven. I'm sure you would have loved to speak with the seamstress while she was choosing these clothes. I hope you approve of what she decided on.

Harper blinked several times, then reached back and ran his fingers gently over the braid behind his left ear. Hanna, I miss you too, little one. I bet you would have pestered me for hours about how sloppily I have dressed myself in such fine clothing, though I could never tell what was amiss no matter what I wore, and still swear to this day that you just liked frustrated me to no end.

He sniffed and gave his head a slight shake before reaching back with his right hand, giving the braid settled to the left of his right ear a gentle tug. 

Don't worry, I could never forget about you, little Miss Missy. You would tell me to finally end this charade... and also to steal the clothing because they make my eyes seem even brighter and that that would be a good enough response to escape reprimand if I were to be caught.

Harper hadn't noticed that he'd begun to cry until he felt a thumb carefully travel beneath his left eye. A hand also sifted through his hair until it gently grasped his and squeezed softly. "There is a story here that I would be glad to listen to, should you wish to speak with me about it." Rule whispered as the man wrapped him in a gentle hug.   


(I'm mean. I make cliffhangers.)

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