Monster (Bucky Barnes x fem!reader) slight AU


You sat on your boyfriend's bed, biting your lip. Bucky was pacing the floor, stopping every so often to look at you. He kept opening his mouth to say something, but then he'd close it again. "Will you say something, please?" you whispered, looking down at your hands once again. Bucky stopped pacing and glanced down at you. "How could you not tell me?" You sighed in defeat. "It's not that easy, Buck. How was I supposed to tell you that I turn into a creature every full moon?"


*flashback Bucky's POV*


"Hey!" Bucky cried, causing the wolf to turn and face him. Her eyes were full of sorrow the moment they landed on the former assassin. She turned to run, but Bucky was quick. He threw a knife at the wolf and smiled in triumph when the blade sank into the flesh of the animal. She let out a yelp and sank to the ground. Bucky ran over, but stopped short as the wolf began to shrink before his eyes.


As it shrank, the wolf's fur disappeared as did the claws and snot. Smaller and smaller it got until it was no longer there. You were in its place, naked, covered in dirt with Bucky's knife sticking out of your leg. Bucky ran over in shock. "Y/N? Baby?" he cried, lifted your bare form into his arms and carried you back to his apartment where he did his best fix your leg and waited for you to wake up.


*end flashback*


"Bucky, I couldn't tell you. I couldn't stand to see you looking at me the way you are right now, the way everyone looks at me when they know. Like I'm a monster," you told him as your eyes welled with tears. "You've been killing people, Y/N," he said softly. You jumped up from the bed and stood toe to toe with him. "I haven't been, the wolf has! I can't control it anymore than you could control the Winter Soldier!" You knew it was a low blow, but you had to get your point across.


Bucky took a deep breath and stepped back. For several minutes, there was nothing but silence as Bucky processed your words. "What do you want me to do, Y/N? I just witnessed that thing ripping someone's throat out!" You placed your hands on your head and screamed in frustration. "THIS is exactly why I didn't tell you! I am not a monster! That THING is merely part of me, but its actions do not define me anymore than the Winter Soldier's define you!"


"I can't let you keep killing people, Y/N," Bucky told you softly. He didn't want to hurt you. He loved you and you loved him. You bit your lip as you watched Bucky run his hand through his long brown hair. You didn't want to say the words that came next, but you had no choice. "Kill me," you whispered. Bucky jerked his head back up and stared at you, mouth agape. "W-what?" You took a step closer to him and took the silver knife from his belt. You held it up to him and repeated, "Kill me, Bucky."


He shook his head in disbelief. "No, Doll. I-I can't. I love you too much." You sniffled a bit. "You have to Bucky. Don't make me live like this anymore." You pressed the hilt of his knife into his hand. "Please, Bucky. I'm begging you. Do this so the wolf can't hurt anyone else," you pleaded. Bucky gazed down into your tear-filled (e/c) eyes and whispered, "I love you, Y/N." You gave him a watery smile and replied, "I love you too, Bucky. Never forget that."


Without another word, Bucky plunged the knife into your heart and watched as the light drained from your eyes. When he was certain you were gone, Bucky pulled the knife out, dropped it on the floor next to him and cradled you close to him. "I'm so sorry, Y/N," he whispered over and over as if it would bring you back to him. He pressed the cool metal of his left hand to your face as he kissed your forehead. "I love you," he whispered.


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