A/N I was listening to sad songs as I wrote this chapter so that should say everything you need to know. Also please be aware, TRIGGER WARNINGS.

//LEGENDS OF TOMORROW\\

//WAKING UP TO THE GUILT\\

The young girl stood at the door to the kitchen. She knew ease dropping was wrong but this certain conversation had caught her attention.

"You have to be careful with her." The woman says.

The man in the room scoffs loudly but the woman stands her ground.

She sternly says, "She has it too, I see it in her eyes when she's angry. You need to be careful."

The man laughs, a deep, dark, sickening laugh.

"I don't have to do anything, she was born a freak, she deserves it."

"God." She grumbles.

Light floods her closed eyes and the pounding against Erin's head doesn't show mercy.

Her hand finds its way to her head in an attempt to stop the pounding.

Someone shifts beside her and she knows that she has to open her eyes now.

Reluctantly Erin allows her left eye to open, then slowly allows her right eye to open.

She notices a figure to her right and the pounding in her head slowly begins to ease as she turns her head.

Sara sits beside her and Erin soon realizes that they're in their joined room.

Sara is still in her White Canary outfit and is staring at the brunette intently.

Sara smiles when they make eye contact. "How're you feeling?" She asks.

"Like I've had one too many drinks." Erin grumbles.

Sara offers her hand, allowing Erin assistance in shifting herself into a sitting position.

"There's someone that wants to see you." Sara stands up and opens the door, revealing another woman.

Sara leaves as Erin's sister walks in.

Carly smiles at the sight of her sister and throws herself into the open arms of the brunette.

Erin smiles as her younger sister is embraced in her arms.

"I've missed you so much." The young one mumbles into her shoulder.

Erin nods along. "I've missed you too."

When Carly leaves Erin's embrace she looks at the eldest with admiration.

"I talked to Sara. She said you took down the lady and saved us all."

Erin's brows furrow in confusion, she didn't remember stopping the Pilgrim. In fact, she doesn't remember anything except charging towards the Pilgrim after shooting her.

What happened after that? How did she get on the Waverider?

Erin plays it off, smiling at her sister. "What can I say? You're sister is just that awesome." She smirks.

If Carly noticed her confusion, she doesn't say anything about it.

Instead she gives her a smile and lightly shoves her shoulders, "Haha, very funny."

Erin just smiles back and decides she'll ask Sara later.

"How are things back at home?" Erin asks.

Carly just shrugs, "Nothing special, got a pet dog and named him Wayland, quit my job at the mall, got my degree and I'm in medical school now."

Carly looks nonchalant but Erin's mouth hangs open.

"You got into med school!?" She freaks. "Oh my gosh Carly that's so amazing I'm so proud of you!"

Carly smiles at her sisters response and then fakes offence. "You're not going to talk about the fact that I'm a proud mother of a child now."

Erin goes along with the faking. "My apologizes. I'm very happy you're a strong, single mother of one boy."

The two laugh and then Erin speaks up, "When I get back I wanna meet this dog, he sounds like a joy."

"It's a date." Her sister smiles back.

The doors slide open to reveal Sara, who has changed into a pair of black jeans and a white tank top. Where she found the clothes to change Erin will never know.

Sara's entire wardrobe was in this room after all.

Sara smiles towards Carly before telling her, "We're in Star City, it's time to go."

Erin goes to stand but immediately regrets it and sits back down as a headache rises.

"Sorry sis, I'm saying my goodbye from here." Erin tells her as the pain fades and she opens her eyes that had been squeezed shut.

Carly smiles at her and nods knowingly. "I'll see you soon sista."

The two hug and when they pull apart they both fist pump and say 'I Love you.'

Erin watches as Sara leads Carly out the door and then the brunette is left by herself.

She strains to remember what happened with the Pilgrim.

Erin has this faint memory, no, more like a dream.

Her father is in it. She remembers dreaming of jumping on him, but her hands don't show, instead it's a pair of black paws and Erin can only guess she has shifted in this dream.

She pushes her father to the ground and thinks of sinking her teeth into his neck, but that's all she can remember.

Erin slowly stands, careful as to not get another headache.

She stands but a wave of nausea hits her and she leans against the bed with her hand.

When her body's weight is placed on her hand white hot pain shoots through it and she is forced to remove her hand.

She looses her balance and falls to her knees on the floor.

Tears sting in her eyes but she lets none fall. Instead she uses the back of her hand to wipe them away.

Instead, a strange white catches her eye.

Erin shifts from her knees to sitting on her butt, her back against the bed and her legs criss crossed.

She stares at a white bandage wrapped around her hand, a slight hint of red seen from both sides of her hand.

She slowly begins to unwrap the bandage off of her hand, curious as to what makes her hand hurt so much.

The doors slide open and a soft, loving voice stops her.

"I would be careful if I were you, the stitches are still healing."

Erin looks up from her hand and looks at Sara who is standing in the doorway. She takes a step in and the doors close behind her, giving the two some privacy.

Erin looks back down at her hand, slowly and carefully removing the white wrapped around it.

"What happened?" She asks.

"The Pilgrim stabbed you." Sara answers in a kind of obvious tone.

Erin looks up at her with confusion.

When did that happen? She doesn't remember fighting the Pilgrim.

Sara returns the same look of confusion, "Do you not remember?"

Erin still stares at her, completely lost. "Remember what?"

Sara gives her a look of... pity?

The blonde walks and sits down across from Erin, her legs mimicking the brunettes.

"What's the last thing you remember happening?"

Erin thinks before quickly answering "I shot at the Pilgrim and then I ran at her. I can't remember what happened after that. I have this strange memory of a dream where I attacked my dad as a panther. But that's a dream so obviously it didn't happen, right?"

The look on Sara's face makes her second guess herself.

"Right?"

Erin suddenly becomes aware of five small bruises on both sides of Sara's shoulder.

She reaches out cautiously and moves the strap of her girlfriends tank top.

She carefully and lightly traces the bruises as Sara refuses to meet her eyes.

"What happened?"

Sara meets her eyes this time before she whispers, "You."

Erin pulls her hand back immediately and her jaw drops.

"What did I do?" Erin whispers in disbelief.

Sara fixes the strap on her top and tries her best to hide the bruise so her love doesn't have to see them.

She speaks slowly, allowing Erin to take it all in.

"You attacked the Pilgrim, you guys fought and you gave the rest of us time to recover."

Erin nods along, dreading the part where she does whatever it is to Sara.

"You got angry, I could tell by the way you looked at her and I knew I needed to step in before things got bad."

Erin takes in a shaky breath, the tears already building in her brown eyes.

"I didn't step in soon enough I guess. I knocked the Pilgrim out, but you had already shifted, and you were pissed. Even though the Pilgrim was knocked out you still went after her.

Erin's chest begins to move a little more rapidly up and down. She manages to muster up the few words, "What did I do?"

Erin forces back a sob so Sara can continue.

"You uh, you sunk her teeth into the Pilgrim's neck and uh, you," Sara seems reluctant to say it but she does it any way.

"You ripped her throat out."

Erin's hand flies to her mouth and stifles a sob.

The Pilgrim may have been evil but nobody deserves a death like that.

"Oh God." Erin says through a cry. Tears begin to fall from her eyes and soon they are falling in a constant stream down her face.

"What-what did I d-do to you?" Erin cries through her sobs.

Sara's eyes flash with sadness and she frowns at the girl in front of her.

She reaches out and grabs both her hands, comforting her by holding them, knowing that if she hugs Erin she won't be able to get the rest of the story out.

"You looked up at me, and uh the look in your eyes, it was pure anger. Y-you pushed me down and it looked like," Sara takes a breath and looks up at Erin, who's tears have not stopped falling.

"L-l-looked like," She hiccups, "w-what?"

Sara sighs and then looks her with sadness, "Like you were going to rip my throat out."

Erin takes her hands back from Sara and they both immediately fly to her mouth as a loud sob escapes her lips.

She looks away from Sara and to the floor, realizing that her dream wasn't a dream, it was a reality, except it wasn't her fathers throat she almost ripped out, it was her girlfriends.

"Oh God." She continuously mumbles through her sobs.

Sara grabs Erin's shoulders immediately trying to stop any bad thoughts.

"Hey, hey. Listen to me. That was not you okay? It's okay, it wasn't you and I'm here, I'm okay there's nothing to worry about." She says quickly.

Erin's sobs don't stop.

Erin moves from sitting down to on her knees leaning over the floor. One hand holds her up while the other stays over her mouth and she continues to sob uncontrollably.

"w-wha-what d-d-d-did I-i do." She yells. Her sobs only growing more vicious and her ragged breath only growing shorter and shorter.

The thought of hurting her girlfriend, it broke her.

But she was going to rip her throat out, she almost did.

The thought alone made her sick. She almost ripped her throat out.

Her throat!

The one person she loved so much, the woman who had been her girlfriend for so long and her best friend for even longer.

It was the woman she planned to marry one day, and she almost killed her.

She had her dead to rights and she almost sunk her teeth into Sara's neck.

Her teeth.

How could she?

How could she have almost done that the Sara.

How could she have almost killed the love of her life.

The thought of Sara's blood on her hands, in her mouth.

Erins mouth over Sara's neck and her teeth sunk deep into her flesh.

Oh God.

Oh God.

Oh God.

What had she done?

What had she done?

How had she almost killed the love of her life and not even known?

Not even known.

Suddenly Erin was gagging.

Something was caught in her throat and she couldn't breath.

She couldn't breath.

She almost killed her girlfriend.

She couldn't breath.

Her hair was moved from her face.

But she still couldn't breath.

Suddenly both her hands were on the ground and she was throwing up.

She could breath.

A soft hand rested on her back and drew circles on it.

She threw up, and then nothing but the feeling of gagging.

"Hey."

A voice broke through to her and hands were guiding her to sit back down.

"Look at me."

She couldn't see where the voice was coming from.

Her chest moved rapidly as her breath came in short bursts.

Tears flooded her vision so much that she can't see at all.

It's all a blur to her, she can't even make out figures and shapes.

She cries, trying to pull in breaths that never seem complete as sobs continue to escape from her lips.

"Erin focus, focus on me."

Arms wrap around her. Erin's suddenly warm.

She feels safe. But that doesn't distract her from the fact that she could have killed Sara.

Sara.

That's who is talking to her. That's who is holding her.

Sara's arms are wrapped around her.

Erin chokes, trying to get her words out through her pained chest.

"I, al-alm-almost k-killed you."

"But you didn't. Look i'm right here."

Erin's chin is being lifted and something bright sits in front of her vision and she chokes out another heartbreaking sob.

"I'm okay. I promise."

"I-i'm so s-s-so so so-sorr-sorry." Erin cries, barley being able to make audible words anymore as her cries overtake her.

She is pulled back into that warm, safe embrace.

"It's okay." That soft voice repeats.

That soft voice.

Erin can't stop her cries. Each sob reluctantly leaves her lips.

Her head hurts. It hurts so much and she feels so hot.

She feels like she's standing in a fire and someone hit her over the head with something hard.

"S-Sara." She chokes.

"I'm here." She hears the reply.

The arms wrap tighter around her and she hears again, "I'm here."

Erin begins to grow tired and her eyes squeeze shut.

Her head hurts, oh God her head hurts so much.

But her heart hurts more. She can't take the fact that she almost killed the girl who is comforting her right now.

God how can Sara still hug her.

No.

She doesn't deserve this.

She doesn't deserve anything.

She doesn't deserve Sara. She doesn't deserve happiness.

She doesn't deserve the short breathes that she's taking right now.

She opens her eyes and pushes from the safe arms. She pushes away from Sara.

Erin presses the heels of her hands into her eyes to clear away enough tears for her to partially see.

She doesn't focus on Sara, she knows if he does she won't be able to take it.

She almost hits herself, she can't take it already.

Erin shakily stands, her legs wobbling but giving her the ability to stand.

She ignores Sara's constant questions and stumbles over to the dresser across from the bed.

She pulls open the top drawer and digs through the clothes in it.

"What are you doing?" Sara asks constantly.

Erin just continues to dig through the drawer mumbling incoherently to herself.

She finds what she is looking for and pulls the shining object out.

Sara is immediately on her feet at the sight of the sharp object.

"The captain would like to see everyone in the bridge." Gideon's voice surrounds them.

"Tell him to screw off." Sara yells angrily at the AI, who doesn't respond after that.

"Erin, what are you doing?" Sara asks scared at seeing the knife positioned in the broken girls hand.

"I-i," Erin struggles to get the words out.

"I don't des-deserve,"

"Stop. Stop! Please Erin oh God stop!" Sara begins to beg.

The knife is now facing towards Erin's stomach.

Erin closes her eyes, tears still constantly falling.

"I'm so sorry." She whispers.

Erin sends a quick look to Sara and then closes her eyes again, saying "I love you."

The knife makes its way to Erin's stomach and she prepares for the pain that she deserves. The pain that the broken girl knows she must feel and the death that she knows she deserves.

She never feels the pain though, nothing ever meets her stomach and her hands stop moving.

Something strong wraps around her wrist and the knife is ripped from her hand.

When Erin's teary eyes open she sees Sara standing in front of her. The knife lays on the ground several feet away from them and Sara holds onto Erins wrists.

Erin looks at Sara, who has tears of her own.

And that's when she realizes exactly what she almost did.

Her knees buckle underneath her and Erin ends up on the ground, Sara right beside her.

Erin doesn't freak out, doesn't say anything, she just stares.

She stares to the wall across from them and silent tears slip from her eyes.

Silently, she lays her head down onto Sara's lap and stares at the wall, still not saying a thing.

A/N Okay so I don't have much to say about this chapter.

It was intense.

And emotional.

But like lets talk about the fact that I updated twice in one day!

Okay, anyways, uh, sorry if I broke any of you.

I can promise the next chapter will be better though.

But uh anyways, I'm gonna go now before someone murders me for being such a cruel author.

Toodles.

Over and Out Superfriends!