15: feeling enough

The cold winter months bleed into spring. The month of April brings warm sun and cool rain. Lexie's therapy sessions continue, her nightmares slow down. She starts physical therapy sessions so her wrist can move to perform surgery again. Lexie's healing path was long, but she had many people in her corner.


The women from the BAU loved Lexie. They were always inviting her out to get drinks or go shopping. Lexie liked having more girlfriends. Their friendship reminded her of her friendship with Meredith and Cristina. Getting drunk and dancing the night away. Then coming home to Spencer in her bed, making sure she drank lots of water and brushed her teeth. She couldn't help but feel extremely lucky.


She woke up this morning with a pounding headache. She shielded her eyes from the strip of light peering in from the windows. She buried her face into Spencer's chest in an attempt to stay in the darkness.


"Headache?" Spencer chuckled


"Yes, I'm never drinking again." Lexie groaned from under the sheets.


"You said that last week, and the week before that."


"I hate you."


"That's not what you thought last night," Spencer smirked pulling the covers off Lexie's face.


"You are awful doctor Reid."


"I know, but you have a physical therapy appointment in an hour, get up." Spencer pulled Lexie's legs so they hung off the side of the bed, forcing her to sit up. He brushed the hair out of her face and left the room to make breakfast.


Lexie pulled her body off the soft bed and let her feet pad against the hardwood floor into the bathroom. She groaned as she looked in the mirror, her eyes puffy and skin pale. She looked as sicky as she felt. She brushed her teeth and washed her face in attempt to feel better. She walked into the kitchen to see Spencer scrambling eggs and brewing coffee. She pulled herself onto a barstool at her bar. Waiting for Spencer to finish cooking.


"Here, take these, you have to feel better for your appointment." Spencer handed her two small Advils and a cup of water.


"Thanks, Spence." she took the two pills, chugging the rest of the water.


"Breakfast is served, my love." Spencer placed a plate of eggs and fruit in front of Lexie, placing one at his seat as well.


"What would I do without you?" She gave Spencer the best sleepy smile she could.


"Probably starve."


The two ate their breakfast, enjoying each others company. Talking about anything and everything. Spencer loved these mornings more than anything. Sitting and talking with Lexie about the surgery she assisted on this week or about the crazy cases that came into the ER. The way the morning sunlight lit up Lexie's face made his heart swoon. When she would rattle off facts about the human brain or complain about how stupid some people are with their heads he was reminded of how much he really loved her.


Sometimes Spencer would be scared of his future with Lexie. Sometimes he wanted to run before he got hurt. He knew Lexie was too good for him, she was too good to be true. He was scared of how much he loved her. His heart was full of her. He couldn't understand why she was still with him. He was weird, he could never keep the girl. Maybe Lexie was staying to recover from her past love, he didn't feel good enough for this amazing girl sitting next to her.


"Spence?"


Lexie's voice shook every thought out his head when he looked into her eyes his mind as swiped of all the negatives thoughts.


"Yes?"


"What's wrong? You've been sitting over there in deep thought."


Spencer debated if he should tell Lexie about his insecurities. He struggled a lot with opening up to people. Even the people he was really close with, like Derek or JJ. He was scared if he told Lexie about his thoughts that she would leave him. But he trusted Lexie, he was scared but he knew he would have to tell her.


"It's just - you're way to good for me, Lexie. I-I don't deserve someone like you." His eyes were rimmed with tears. He loved Lexie so much. He doesn't know what would happen to him if he could be with her.


"Spencer," Lexie spoke lower than a whisper. "Spencer I am filled with love for you. You are the reason I'm alive. I wasn't in a good place when I met you. Don't think for a second you aren't good enough, you're more than good enough for me."


Spencer felt a tear run down his cheek. "I'm scared Lex, I'm scared to love someone as much as I love you."


"Spencer. I'm never going anywhere. I want to die in your arms when I'm 110 years old. I love you, Spencer Reid."


Lexie put her hands on Spencer's cheeks pulling his forehead to hers. "I will never leave you."


Spencer couldn't name the feeling in his chest. He couldn't wrap his head around what Lexie said. All he could do was wrap his arms around her body and pull her on to him. They stayed like that, holding each other hoping the other would never let go.


Every good thing must come to an end when its time to get ready for Lexie's appointment. The two pulled away, silently getting ready for their day. Spencer cleaned up the kitchen while Lexie took a shower. Once both were dressed and ready, they loaded into Spencer's car and headed to her appointment.


"Do you want to get lunch afterward?" Spencer asked.


"Sure, let's go to that Italian place, we can walk in the park after we eat."


Spencer hummed in response. Pulling into Lexie's doctor's office, he leaned over and kissed her lips. "Thank you. I love you too."


Lexie smiled and kissed him again. She turned, getting out of the car into the building. Spencer wrapped his hand around hers and the two went into the appointment together.






a/n: hey guys, thanks for reading! i can't believe i hit 4k reads, i'm so grateful for y'all. i never thought this story would be this successful, y'all are really amazing. thank you again🤍

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