Chapter 15

Christmas day. Andito parin si Clyde sa tabi ko, hindi niya ako iniwan o bumalik man lang sa bahay nila. Nag-stop na dina ng pagmessage sa akin nung unknown number. Si Tita Susan ay dito din makikipasko sa bahay namin since wala naman siyang kasama doon. Mga hapon ay nagsimula na kaming magluto ng noche buena dahil magiging busy kami nito mamaya. Nilagay ko na ang mga gifts ko sa mga taong mahal ko except yung gift ko kay Clyde, my gift for him is a letter. Naghanap muna ako ng tamang tiyempo bago magsimulang magsulat, buti na lang at inutusan ni mama si Clyde bumili ng kulang na sangkap para sa pancit. 

I started writing and I felt tears fall down on my face, I don't know if it's because of love or the feeling that I will leave him. Iniipit ko ang sulat na ginawa ko sa paboritong libro ni Clyde. The book is also my gift for him dahil gusto niya daw bilhin iyon pero may mga priorities siya na kailangan unahin. I wrapped it up sa isang color purple na gift wrap dahil favorite color niya iyon. It was night time at kulang ng softdrinks kaya naman inutusan ako ni mama. 

"Love, gusto mo samahan na kita?" Offer ni Clyde. 

"Na'ko, wag na love. Dito ka na muna sa bahay at kanina ka pa kilos ng kilos eh, I'll be back din ok?" I said and he nodded. 

Lumabas na ako para bumali at ang malas ko dahil sarado na ang sari-sari store na malapit dito sa subdivision kaya naman kailangan ko pang lumabas. After ko bumalik ay sarado na yung dinaanan ko kanina papuntang convenience store kaya pumunta ako sa kabilang daan kung saan madilim at halos parang ghost town na dahil lahat ng tao ay nasa loob na ng bahay at walang tao sa mga kalsada. May nararamdaman akong sumusunod sa akin kaya tumakbo na ako ng mabilis pero naligaw ako. I was lost, hindi ko alam kung nasaan na ako dahil madilim na sa kalye na ito.

Then soon after, I heard gunshots towards me. Natamaan ang braso ko kaya tumakbo na ako kung saan ko nakita ang kaunting ilaw. Still, todo putok ng baril ang sumusunod sa akin. Natamaan na ako sa binti so nahirapan na akong tumakbo. Then soon after, as I arrived the street where the light is, I realized that it was our street na. I walked slowly because it hurts, my body is almost covered with blood. But then, I heard the last bullet shot on me. It directly hit my chest, and one thing I knew, everything started to go black. 

"Clyde..." And that was my final word before I completely shut down. 

I saw lights when I opened my eyes, but it was different. I got up just to see my body laying in an hospital bed while my loved ones were crying outside the operating room. I can't touch them, I identified myself as a lost soul. 

"Not yet please, wake up idiot." I said to my peaceful body laying there unconsciously. I heard the door open and saw the man I love the most with puffy eyes. As much as I want to hug him, I can't. I am just a soul and not in my human body.

"Love, please wake up. Nakulong na yung bumaril sayo, mahal. As soon as I heard the gunshot, lumabas na ako just to see you laying there and not moving. Hinabol ko yung lalaki mahal, I was so brave back there, are you proud of me?" He asked. Yes, I am proud of you mahal. Always.  I just stare at my unconscious body while Clyde is holding my hand crying. 

"It's still christmas, so love, you waking up will be the best christmas gift I will ever received bago magbagong taon. " He said. God this is tearing me apart. Seeing the man who's been through a lot crying. It hurts. Love, please be strong. I don't have the ability to hug you right now like how I used to. 

Clyde's POV:

Madaling araw na at andito ako sa kwarto ng taong pinakamamahal ko. Tita Alexis and lola went home para magpahinga. As I close my eyes, I heard the sound na ayaw kong marinig. Alex's heart is going blank. I immediately went up and called for a nurse or a doctor. 

"Doc! Yung puso ng mahal ko!" I said exclaimely and the doctor and nurses started rushing to his room. I called Tita and his friends to know what happened, then less than a minute, they all arrived. I was praying and praying to Him not to take my lover away. Not yet, not now, not when I am about to lose myself again. The doctor stepped out and horror started to enter my body. 

"We did everything we can, sorry for you lost ma'am and sir." The doctor said and looked down. He checks his watch. "Time of death 12:00 am" He said. Well, merry fucking Christmas Clyde.

They started crying and they entered the room where my love lays. I told Agust that I will go home first at sila na ang bahala kayla Tita at lola. As I went inside our room, our memories flashes my brain. This room is filled with happy and sad memories. I was cleaning up the room when something fell off the table beside Alex's bed. "To my pogi and brave lover, Clyde." That was written on a purple wrapper. I ripped the purple packaging and there  I saw my dream book that I've always wanted to read and I saw a letter fell off the ground. I picked it up and stated reading it. 

"Sa pinakamamahal kong Clyde," I read and smiled a bit. "Do you still remember when we first talked sa school's rooftop?" I paused. Yes, mahal. That was our cornelia street.  "It was the time when you started noticing me and the place where our first core memories is. Love, please remember that there's no day or seconds that I didn't loved you. You are the best thing that's ever been mine and the most amazing advanced Christmas gift I could ever received. Thank you for your presence, love and comfort. You made me braver than before, Andrei ko." I read it and tears started falling down. "Love, I know I promised you that we will grow old together. I will be your personal nurse who will take care of you cause you are such a big baby that I need to take care of." I chuckled and continued reading.

"You might not know this but the past days na bigla akong nawawala sa bahay is because I am visiting your mom's tomb, she is the person I know na mabibigyan ako ng lakas para sa atin mahal. I promised to fight for us, to protect you and to love you until my last breath. Pero mahal, sadyang mapaglaro ang tadhana no? We never know kailan isa sa atin ang kukunin ng nasa taas. If nabasa mo toh for sure I am probably laying in a hospital bed with you guys crying or worse, I am probably dead. Please be strong for me okay? Please take care of mama and lola." Stop making me cry, love. Hindi ko pa ata kaya. 

"One last thing before I end this letter, please remember that if I died, ikaw lang ang nasa isip ko. It was our memories together that made me die with a smile on my face. It was you all along.  I love you, Clyde Andrei Santillian. Lagi kitang mahal." And that was his last sentences before ending his letter. Normally, Christmas is suppose to be happy... But how can it be happy when your source of happiness is gone now? Alexander Myles Salvador, please watch me up there. 

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