Zhang hao third person POV

Zhang hao felt his cheeks heat up as he pulled away from the others, looking down awkwardly. He played with the straw in his drink, pretending to stir the matcha through. Zhang hao knew the two were unbothered about his sexuality but to have feelings for his fellow member felt odd and almost inappropriate to admit out loud.

"Hyung?"

Zhang hao stopped stirring his drink and let his hands rest in his lap hopelessly as he glanced back up to the others, surprised to see them smiling. Although it was a weight off of his chest, he immediately felt more embarrassed.

"I think we knew even before you did. I remember how you looked looked at him during the star test"

Ollie teased as Zhang hao felt his eyes widened slightly in shock, he had known he was drawn to Hanbin from the beginning and wanted to be close to him, though he didn't realise his admiration was that obvious.

"And your eyes lit up whenever Hanbin came to visit Matthew when we shared a dorm for Kill this love'

Keita continued, only embarrassing Zhang hao further as he buried his flushed face into his hands, hearing the others laugh. Although embarrassed, he couldn't deny that it felt good to admit. As he heard his friends talk with a younger sounding waitress who placed a few plates on their table, Zhang hao peaked through his hands to see a small assortment of cakes and other sweets.

Once the waitress walked away, he slowly withdrew his hands, coughing to awkwardly clear his throat before taking a sip of his drink, all too aware of how the other two were staring at him in amusement. It was rare to see the older so flustered.

Keita eventually asked curiously once Zhang hao had calmed down, grabbing a small plate with a slice of lemon cake and cutting himself a piece, seemingly unbothered by the conversation. Zhang hao let his head fall back down quickly shaking his head.

"No...Hanbin and I are really close lately, if I tell him he may not want to be like that anymore"

He frowned at the thought, grabbing himself one of the macarons that sat in front of him and eating it in one bite.

"What do you mean by really close, hyung?"

He heard Ollie ask innocently with a slightly teasing tone as Zhang hao bit the inside of his lip, staring at the now empty spot on the plate were the macaron once laid.

"Um well Binnie and I have started to peck each others cheeks and foreheads and stuff. He also asked me to sleep in his bed with him too...but I think he's just a touchy person"

Zhang hao forced down a blush as he tried to dismiss the actions though he swore he heard the two whispering to eachother. He hadn't intended to tell them this many details but here they were gossiping like teenagers did abouy their first crush

"Hyung are you sure Hanbin doesn't like you too?"

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The rest of their meet up was both the highlight but most confusing part of his month. While meeting with his closest friends allowed Zhang hao to relax and finally confessing his feeling for Hanbin to someone, their constant teasing and ability to convince him that every little action Hanbin did was flirting, made Zhang hao fall deeper for Hanbin. By the time they left the cafe Zhang hao was convinced he liked Hanbin a lot, more than just a crush and definitely more than just a friend.

It was already the early afternoon once they finished and walked outside. When they reached the curb Zhang hao turned to face the two, Keita and Ollie embracing him into a hug. After a couple seconds they pulled away and Zhang hao noticed the small smirk on Keita's face.

"You know you could always go buy a few drinks to take back to the dorm. Everyone becomes more open with a few drinks and you never know, maybe you two will actually talk this out"

He teased, pushing Zhang hao's shoulder slightly as the older's cheeks went slightly rosy though he unexpectedly nodded, starting to wonder how long he could hold back these feelings for Hanbin.

"I think I will"

He blurted out before pulling Keita back into a side hug and ruffling Ollie's hair.

"We'll catch up when I come back from kcon, okay?"

He smiled sweetly before taking a step away, pivoting his heel and walking in the opposite direction. Leaving his two younger friends to laugh at Zhang hao's oblivion.

Zhang hao arrived at a small park and pulled out his phone, opening google maps to locate the closest liquor store that he would be able to walk to. Once he had found one, he opened his messages, deciding to text who he thought was most responsible to ask about the alcohol to get, Jiwoong.

Hi, it's Hao! I'll be back in a couple hours but I was wonder if you and any of the others wanted me to get some drinks? Was thinking we could just have a few drinks and get to know everyone better tonight. If that's all good with you? :)

Although he and Jiwoong were not yet super close he trusted Jiwoong to know the limits of the younger members.

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The upload is later than normal cause I didn't feel comfortable uploading while people are romanticising Hanbin protecting Hao from being mobbed. So I think its an important time for me to clarify that this is all a work of fiction, please do not try to speculate that Haobin are romantically involved with eachother.