"you can't just fucking leave without telling me where you're going!"

i leaned on my bedroom door, listening to maddy yell at me for leaving the party without telling her. i knew she was pissed of at all, and most of this was her just taking it out on me.. maddy never actually acted where i was, unless i was in danger.

"alright, maddy. i'm sorry." i threw my hands in the air, walking away from door as she followed me in my room and sat on my bed.

our mom never asked or even cared to ask where we went and if we were okay, so the times maddy did.. it felt like maddy was more of a mother to me, than a sister.

she threw her head back, "i'm sorry val. i was just worried, okay?"

i nodded, cleaning up all the junk i had around my room, "it's okay."

she tapped her thighs, "how was school?"

oh, yeah.. my first day of high school was today.

                                           ———

my heart was racing, i had a firm grip on victoria's hand as i walked down the halls of high school.

i felt very uncomfortable with the stares i was getting by the seniors, and being maddy perez's sister, didn't help at all.

"yo! that's maddys little sister, right?"
"yeah.. she's just as fine."
"ya think if i talk to her she'll set me up with maddy?"
"yo, isn't maddy with nate jacobs?"

i furrowed my eyebrows as the guys had a whole conversation next to me, talking about they're gonna use me to get to my sister.. wow.

victoria giggled next to me, "well.. high schools gonna be fun." she spoke sarcastically, looking around the halls at all the people.

i turned around to copy her, and after a few seconds my eyes landed on ashtray. "hey, isn't that ashtray?"

i met ashtray in eighth grade.. he didn't go to school much, and the face tattoos confused me a little.. but he didn't seem like an awful kid.

however, almost everyone spread a 'rumor' that he was a drug dealer, which is why he has the face tatts. so people stayed away from him, and said he was a bad guy. aside from the druggies and the weird kids..

and i felt bad, ignoring victoria telling me it was a bad idea, i went up to him at lunch. "hi, i'm valerie." i stuck my hand out for him to shake.

i watched as his eyebrows raised, "i don't care."

my lips formed into a line and i slowly nodded, "okay then." and put my hand down, turning around and walking back to victoria.

"yeah, he's taller now.. and he looks older." victoria pointed out, and i thought he was kinda cute. though i'd never say that out loud, especially to no one here, rumors spread fast.

and after that, the day went okay, okay and most. i was just glad my first day of high school wasn't like adults made it out to seem, getting pushed inside lockers and all that shit.

———

"it was okay." i shrugged, turning around and throwing myself down on the bed next to her.
"listened to guys say they would use me to get with you."

her eyebrows furrowed, "guys are assholes."

i bit my lip, looking at the ceiling as i debated wether or not to ask her about nate. "so.. how are you and nate, now?"

"uh.. we're okay, now." she shrugged, slowly l getting from my bed. "hey, you know, kat lost her virginity last night!"

i squinted my eyes, she changed the subject fast..
"really? with who?"

"i don't know, she said she doesn't remember his name." she laughed to herself, leaning on my door frame.

i suspiciously eyed her, "and what about that guy you fucked in the pool? do you remember his name?"

her face dropped and she rolled her eyes, walking away from my room. "we didn't fuck!"

i laughed quietly, before getting up and closing my door. i rolled around, bored. but sooner or later maddy came running back in my room with her phone in her hand.

"val! do you think this looks like kat?"

my eyes widened as she showed me a girl.. literally getting fucked. i looked up to her, her eyes looking back and forth from me to the the phone.

"alright, maddy." i moved the phone away.
"i don't know.. the hair looks the same? maybe?" i shrugged, and she pointed at me. "i know it's her!" and then ran back out.

———

remember when i said rumors spread fast here? yeah well, so did 'kats' video.

i frowned watching everyone look at kat as she passed down the hall, "that's so fucked up!" victoria shook her head. and i nodded in agreement, "yeah, imagine you lost your virginity and the video was exposed."

she shook her head, "i hope it isn't her."

and by the end of the day, i don't know what she did or what she said, but the rumor was dropped. troy.. or roy, had told basically everyone "it was some other bitch." and everyone believed them.

kat walked out of school that day with a smile on her face, and mine was a confused one. but also impressed, dropped all that in a day? wow.

maddy got a ride with nate, so me and victoria walked to her house, once we got there we both jumped in her bed and she immediately grabbed the remote, going to netflix.

this was an almost everyday thing, i hated being home, and i loved being with victoria. her parents were hardly home, but even when they were they swore i could come here anytime, and stay for as long i want, or need. so i came here most of the time.

also because maddy doesn't know where her house is, so if i ever want to get away, this is where i'll be.

AUTHORS NOTES:

idk what to write here anymore

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