Three Little Words

As requested. I warn you it's crazy emotional. Ice cream and tissues are advised! Enjoy!


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Night had descended on the city, coating the sky in a thick velvet with a sprinkling of stars. The common room of Carter's dorm was silent. It was the silence that most weekends took on. It was the silence that came from an absence of occupants, most of them taking the freedom to share drinks and release the pressure of college workloads.


Carter was alone in the building, staring at a computer screen, books and notes were strewn about her. After her father got married, she decided to take a room on campus, wanting to give him space for his first year of marriage. The screen before her blurred and she rubbed her eyes. Exhaustion hung on her, making every action twice as hard and every thought slower. Though it was fairly early the idea of sleep came to her. Even as it did though, she refused it. For the past eight days sleep meant nightmares and images she could never banish.


She checked her phone but there was nothing to see as it had been for far too long. Though Donovan was just at Quantico training, she hadn't heard from him in eight days. Worry and fear crept along the ground, coming for her. Swallowing, she stood up, shoving back her chair. She needed desperately not to think, thinking of late had led her down avenues that she couldn't escape from.


Grabbing a pair of boxing gloves, she pulled them on. In the far corner, near a row of windows was a mannequin dummy. The addition of it had gotten a few curious and confused looks, but after seeing Carter attack it, her fellow dorm room peers had stayed quiet. Though she felt like she might fall to the floor, Carter slammed her fist into the rubber dummy, sending it quivering.


Eight days.


She forced the thought from her head. Spinning, she brought her leg up and kicked the mannequin's side, the thump breaking a piece of the silence. She spun back and landed three quick punches, hitting the face, ribs, and stomach.


Not a word.


Heart clenching, she threw herself into the next attack. She pounded away as if she could beat her emotions into submission. The storm in her thoughts threatened to consume her, fear battling worry. With each new bubble of speculation, her movements became more frantic, her arms flashing in rapid fire. The faceless dummy took each blow with an uncaring detachment that Carter wished she could punch away.


Eight days and not a single word.


She felt as if she were about to break into a million pieces. Her knuckles were raw but she didn't care. Blow after blow hit the mannequin, the force of it jarring her body. She clenched her teeth fighting the rise of emotions that was beginning to choke her.


The flicker of movement outside the window, on the path to the dorms, stopped her. Breathing hard, she walked over. What she saw made her heart pound faster. The relief of seeing Donovan strolling towards the building nearly did her in.


What stopped her from collapsing was the sight of a leggy girl right beside him, smiling up at him. For a breath, Carter let herself believe that it was the unwanted attention of some college student until Donovan smiled back.


All the emotions at seeing him, twisted and morphed into a knife that sliced through her. Anger and jealousy collided, clouding her mind. Clenching her fists, she backed away and returned to the mannequin. She attacked it with renewed vigor, though her body cried for sleep. She pummeled the unchanging face over and over again.


On the desk, her phone buzzed. Though she knew it was Donovan, she didn't answer it. Despite herself, she hated when the call ended and another didn't follow. Her mind was a tangled mess of exhaustion and hurt.


Even when the door to the building opened and Carter heard footsteps climbing the stairs, she didn't look around. She knew it was Donovan. She knew his tread like she knew the sound of his voice. The footsteps stopped, but she didn't, continuing to beat the dummy.


"Carter," Donovan said.


She said nothing, spinning around and kicking the mannequin's head.


"Carter," he repeated louder.


She still didn't look at him, pride keeping her from turning to him, letting him see for a second the pain that was drowning her.


"Who is she?" she asked, between blows.


"Are you serious?" Donovan asked, the disbelief clear in his voice.


Carter still didn't look at him.


"Carter, look at me," he said.


She didn't.


"Carter, you can't be serious about this," Donovan said, his patience fraying. "I haven't seen you in two months and couldn't talk to you for eight days and this is how you act? I've missed you. I thought you would have felt the same way."


Finally, Carter spun on him. Her emotions were a storm that was raging inside her. The fact that he didn't believe that she hadn't missed him every day, every hour, every minute, every second made her want to hit him.


Her sleep had been shot to hell because nightmares of him in danger had jolted her awake every couple hours. It was at the point she feared what terrors would come when she closed her eyes. But the first glimpse she catches of him is when he's smiling at someone else.


"Who is she?" she asked, glaring at him.


"You're being ridiculous, you know that! Do you seriously not trust me?"


Carter felt herself fracturing, her thoughts spinning and unable to land. Shaking his head in frustration, Donovan started rolling up the sleeve of his shirt.


"This is completely stupid." He moved to the next sleeve. When he was finished, he rolled his shoulders and raised his fists. Carter stared at him, emotions gripping her. "You want a fight, fine let's fight."


His eyes were determined and he looked ready to take a beating, but Carter didn't move. The turmoil inside her wouldn't end and she knew the source of it lay in the man in front her. So before she could be summited to more pain, she pulled away.


"No," she said, her voice deadly calm. "We're done, Donovan."


Shock hit him like she had landed the first blow. Without looking at him, she tore off her gloves, threw them to the couch, and headed for her room. She slammed the door behind her, but it was barely closed when Donovan opened it again, flicking it shut behind him. Anger spiking, Carter rounded on him all her emotions crashing to the surface.


"What do you want?" she snapped.


"I want you to talk to me," Donovan said, crossing his arms.


"I don't want to talk to you," she said, waving her arms around. Everything inside felt like it was breaking and she was breaking alongside it. "I don't want to hear anything you have to say." She shook her head, her heart betraying her as it beat for him and hurt because of him. "We never should have started this!"


Donovan's own emotions rose to the surface. Frustration radiated off of him as he balled his fists.


"Is that honestly what you believe?"


The broken sleep, nightmares and hours of fear and worry converged on Carter, sucking her under.


"Yes."


The lie singed her tongue but she didn't take it back. She couldn't, not when the reality of them hurt so much it might kill her.


Donovan ran a hand down his face, losing all his passion. His eyes held hers, everything he was feeling on full display. She crossed her arms, guarding herself against him.


"When will you stop pushing me away?" he asked, softly.


Carter's pain still burned white hot in her chest.


"When I'm convinced you won't leave on your own!"


Donovan hit the wall with his fist, his patience shattering.


"Damn it, Carter, I love you. When will you get that?!"


Any response she had was stolen away. Her heart beat frantically in her chest as if it was trying to break free and run to him. Part of her still wanted to pull it back, to hide it behind a wall where it could never be broken again, where she could never feel pain again.


But the full truth of his words was hidden in his eyes, his heart laid bare for her, knowing she would see it. The vulnerability there cracked the hard shell she had constructed around her heart.


"Carter, I don't know what else I can say to convince-"


Like a wave, she was hit with a new fear, a fear that she might lose him because of what she was doing.


Terrified, she closed the distance between them and kissed him.


Every thought, feeling, and emotion she had for him was poured into the kiss. Feeling it, Donovan wrapped his arms around her, pulling her against him. They lost themselves in each other, raw with emotions that were too hard to voice.


When they broke apart, Carter rested her forehead against his.


"I hate you," she whispered. "I didn't have a heart before you and now I hate the fact that I have one. And that you hold it."


Donovan let out a deep sigh.


"Can we please stop fighting now?" he asked.


She dug her fingers into his hair.


"As long as you promise to always fight with me."


Donovan responded by kissing her again, his arms gripping her waist like he was afraid she would slip away. Carter reacted, hold onto his with the same fear, needing to know he was still there.


As she kissed him, she felt the full weight of her relief consuming her. He was alive. He was there. He was still hers. Tears of exhaustion and relief rolled down her cheeks. Donovan broke away, worry clouding his eyes.


"Hey, hey, hey," he said, holding her face, his thumbs brushing away the tears. "What's wrong?"


Trembling, Carter rested her head against his chest.


"You were gone. I hadn't heard from you and... It was like with Captain all over again."


Donovan cradled her to his chest, kissing the side of her head.


"I'm sorry, Carter. I'm so sorry. We were tossed into a situation where we were given nothing but a water canteen. I'm sorry. We just got back today. I should have called. I figured I'd come to see you instead. That girl you saw has a boyfriend who goes here and was giving me a ride, she wanted to meet you cause I told her so much about you. Carter, I'm so sorry."


Donovan kept talking and all the while Carter let him hold her, his voice reassuring her again that he was there, that he wasn't leaving her. He held her from him, and for the first time, he really studied her, taking in the dark circles under her eyes and the weariness in her body.


"When did you last get a good night's sleep?" he asked.


Her shoulder's sagged. "I don't remember."


"When did you sleep for longer than three hours?"


She shook her head, the action taking more work than she ever expected.


"I don't know."


"Okay."


Donovan scooped her up in his arms and laid down on her bed. Instantly, Carter curled into him, resting her head on his chest. Her whole body seemed to sink into his, her exhaustion taking over. Donovan tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and planted a light kiss on her head.


"You can sleep now," he said. "I'm right here."


With every rise and fall of his chest, Carter felt herself relaxing. As her thoughts began to slip away, she realized there was one last thing she needed to say.


So with her last bit of strength, she whispered, "I...love...you."


Donovan's reply seemed to come from a great distance.


"I love you more than life, Carter."


She fell asleep in his arms, listening to the sound of his heart as it beat in time with hers.


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Shoot dang! That just happened! ๐Ÿ™Š


I honestly didn't think I was going to be able to write this chapter cause I could never imagine Carter and Donovan ever really fighting, but my sister (JoymomentsSISTER) was walking the dogs with me one day and we discussed how the original fight began. (The fight from the Special Scene Snippets). We realized that Carter would have to be pushed to the edge so that all her logic failed her. So sleepless nights, loads of homework, going months without seeing Donovan, and then seeing him with someone else seemed to be like a good combo.


Even with all this information, I still couldn't picture the scene so I dropped it and decided I wouldn't write it. It took me about a month to really be able to see it and was able to write it for you. Sometimes I just have to let things go and eventually it will come back to me. That's what happened here!


Any who! I hope that you found some sort of enjoyment out of it, though it would be hard since they were fighting the majority of the time.


Do you have any thoughts, emotions, or comments you'd like to share?


I hope that you did like this! Again I'm not sure how many of these chapters are left but thank you for still reading them! It means a lot! You're the best!


If you feel like it vote, comment, follow. And if you're mad at me for emotional damages then don't stress it.

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