Leaving (Part 5.5)

As you can see this is part of the Carter Broken Saga that means it will not be an easy breezy chapter. I'm just warning you.

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Donovan rolled over, naturally stretching out to find Carter. When he found nothing but an empty space beside him, he sat up, his heart speeding up. He stared at her side of the bed, his eyes adjusting to the darkness. The blankets were rumpled and tossed aside.

He looked to the door and saw a thin strip of light glowing at the base. He checked the time and saw it was only eleven. Carter hadn't even slept for an hour.

Rubbing his eyes, he stood and crossed to the door. He noticed the bathroom door open and a single light on. He found Carter but found he couldn't move past the doorway. All he could do was watch her.

Expressionless, she stood before the mirror, holding up the bottom of her tank top, revealing the bruises and scars on her torso. She lightly traced each fading bruise then touched the scars where her ribs had healed. Dropping her shirt hem, she fingered the faint scar on her arm where a bullet had grazed her. Finally, she shifted and found the scar where a bullet had entered her body.

Each mark cut into Donovan. He felt them all as if he'd lived through them. He felt them in a way he knew time would never heal completely.

He stepped into the light.

"Carter."

She flinched and he swallowed hard. The girl she was before would have known he was there the whole time.

"I need to get out of here," she said quietly, still staring at her reflection.

"Okay."

Donovan walked back into their bedroom, flipped on the lights, and grabbed his phone. He sent out a single message to everyone: We're leaving. I don't know where we're going yet.

Dumping his phone on the bed, he went into the closet and found a duffle bag. Efficiently, he filled it with enough clothes for a week, added three books, and zipped it up. By the time that was done, his phone was flooded with responses.

James:
Man, what's going on?

Clint:
Is Carter okay? Did something happen?

Brock:
Do you need me? I can come over.

Steve:
Donovan, is she okay?

Maggie:
Oh no, is she all right?

Mom:
Sweetheart, what's going on?

Commander:
Son, tell me what's going on?

Link:
What? You are? For how long?

Mason:
Here is the address to my family's house in the Hamptons.
Also here is the outer gate code.
The house gate code.
The code to the lockbox with the key in it.
And this is the house security code.
By the time you get there the fridge will be fully stocked.
Let me know if you need anything else.

Donovan opened the attachment and put the address into his phone, finding the drive only to be five hours. They had a place to go. With that settled he took a minute to answer all the other messages, letting them know what was going on.

He slung the strap of the duffle bag over his head and picked up one of his hoodies as well as a pair of shoes. Carter hadn't moved from the mirror. Only now she wasn't looking at her reflection but stared at her wrists where the faint marks of the ropes could still be seen.

"Carter," Donovan said, gently.

This time she didn't flinch.

"I need to get out of here."

"I know. We're leaving."

She looked up at him, a trace of surprise flickering across her face. But she didn't question it, simply let him put the hoodie on her and stepped into her shoes. Taking a thrown blanket from the back of their couch, Donovan guided Carter towards the door. He clicked off the lights, leaving everything as it was. He hadn't even bothered to make their bed.

Donovan helped Carter into the passenger seat of the Mercedes, removed her shoes, and laid the blanket over her as she curled up. He tossed the bag into the back and climbed in. He glanced at her as he started the car. She seemed so small huddled in the seat beside him.

Once they left the city behind, the world became a blur of passing headlights, glowing dividing lines, and a slowly changing night sky. Mile after mile passed in silence. But Donovan knew Carter wasn't asleep.

Eventually, the landscape of cities and trees changed to houses, dunes, and the ocean. Donovan slowed as they drove through a neighborhood of mansions until they reached the last one on the block. Past the house gate, the driveway wound through trees that obscured the house. At least it meant privacy for them.

Donovan curved around the fountain in the center of the house's drive and stopped in before the front steps. Leaving Carter inside for a moment, Donovan retrieved the duffle bag and walked up to the door. He found the lockbox with the key and let himself in, disabling the house alarm.

When he turned back to the car, he saw the passenger side door open and the blanket hanging out. Donovan dropped the bag and hurried out the front door in time to see Carter drifting towards the side of the house in the direction of the backyard.

Donovan closed the door, locked the car, and followed her. She ignored the lavish backyard, heading towards the tufted sand dunes and the sea beyond.

Donovan removed his shoes and joined her on the cool sand. A cold breeze floated off the water and came to them. Carter wrapped Donovan's hoodie tighter around her. The soft hush of the ocean filled the air.

They stood there, gazing out on the endless landscape of undulating blue. On the horizon, the light began to change, softening from midnight to royal blue.

"When I was little," Carter said, quietly. "I was never afraid of the night or the darkness because I knew Captain was there to protect me." She hugged herself. "I knew other people were afraid of the night but... I never knew you could be afraid to sleep."

Donovan drew closer to her, wanting to wrap her up in his arms but somehow he knew to hold back.

"I close my eyes and I'm back there... I see their faces... It's all there... It all still lives in my head..." She tilted her face up as the breeze swept over them. "I never understood why people loved the sound of the ocean so much. But I get it now. It's peaceful."

She opened her eyes and Donovan could see the nightmares that haunted her reflected in her eyes.

"I'm afraid to sleep," she said. "I feel so alone in my dreams."

"I know. But I'm here."

Carter turned to him and he saw the exhaustion in her face and every inch of her body. He felt it too. His body weary was of broken nights. Nightmares didn't plague him, the emotional strain of watching someone he loved face something he couldn't make better plagued him.

"Help me sleep," she whispered.

Donovan lifted her into his arms and she curled into him, resting her head on his shoulder. She felt too thin. She felt fragile. But that meant she was all the more precious to him.

He ached to sit and let her fall asleep there, but he knew his worn-out body would fall asleep too if he sat. So instead, he started to walk. One step at a time, he took them down the beach as the light shifted. The sun peeked its head over the horizon, infusing the sky with soft, comforting tones of pink, lavender, peach, and gold.

By the time the day had finally arrived, Carter was fast asleep in Donovan's arms.

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A soft buzzing woke Donovan. He rolled away from Carter and ran his hand across the nightstand until he found his phone. He winced at the light of the screen. Seeing the caller, he quietly climbed out of the bed and slipped out of the bedroom.

"Hey," he answered, rubbing his face.

Bright afternoon sunlight streamed in through windows along the hallway.

"The house manager is heading over with pastries for you," Mason said. "So don't shoot him. I figured you'd both sleep in late and I had breakfast quiches made for you. Thought you might not want to make food."

Donovan leaned against the wall and rested his head back, closing his eyes. As emotionally exhausted as he was, he knew it could be worse. He had people in his life helping him through this. Helping both of them through this.

The most surprising of those people being Mason.

"Thank you, Mason."

"It's nothing. Also, the house is yours if you want it. No one is scheduled to visit until June. You have about a month."

Donovan looked out a window to the sea and relaxed. The peace of it had settled Carter in a way he'd never thought she could be. How much more could a month do for her?

"Okay," Donovan said.

A beat of silence passed between them. Even without seeing him, Donovan could sense Mason wanting to say something.

"How's our girl?" he asked, cautiously.

Donovan didn't mind his use of the term 'our'. Mason had earned the right to use it after Donovan had seen how much guilt Mason felt over not finding Carter faster, not being able to see that she was gone sooner.

In a different way than Donovan, he knew Mason felt the pain of what Carter had gone through. Though he showed it only in small ways: visits, random acts of kindness like gourmet meals delivered, flowers sent, and expensive, cushioned chairs bought for the rooftop.

"She slept," Donovan answered. "And no nightmares. It's the first time."

On the other line, Mason let out a slow, low breath.

"That's good." A pause. "Look, you need anything let me know. I can have the house manager deliver anything you need."

Somewhere on the first floor, Donovan heard a door open and close. Footsteps and the crinkling of a bag. More footsteps and the door closing.

"I'll let you know," Donovan said. "Are you up for helping me with something now?"

"Anything."

"Let everyone know where we are. Tell them that we are going to be staying for a bit and I'm not going to be checking my phone for a couple of days."

"I can do that."

"Thanks."

"Of course. Take care of yourself too Donovan, she needs you."

"I will."

Mason hung up and Donovan remained leaning on the wall, staring out the window for a long moment. He ached with fatigue but the thought of Carter sleeping through the night comforted him.

Quietly, he reentered the dark bedroom and got back into bed. Carter still slept. Gently, he took her into his arms. She shifted her head to his chest and he ran his hands through her hair. He touched her cheek, caressing it.

She was alive.

She was with him.

She would be okay.

It would be okay.

He drifted off holding her.

When he woke again it was to Carter stirring. He came awake instantly, his body and mind alert.

"Hey," he said.

"I'm hungry," Carter murmured.

Donovan almost broke down at that one statement. She hadn't had her appetite in so long.

"There are pastries and breakfast quiches in the kitchen," Donovan said.

Carter stretched. "Okay."

Still, in their sleep clothes, they grabbed hoodies, collected the food, and went out to the balcony overlooking the ocean. Carter curled up in a chair and ate slowly, staring out at the glistening sea. Donovan half ate and half-watched Carter eat. She didn't eat a lot but she was eating of her own accord, it was something at least.

Eventually, she ate as much as she would and stopped. She didn't move from her spot or take her eyes off the water. It was a cool day with a soft breeze but enough sunlight that it wasn't chilly. It was the type of day that meant they could be outside for as long as they wanted and Donovan wouldn't worry about Carter being too cold.

"Donovan," Carter said.

"What do you need?" he asked.

She shook away his offer. "Why do we do it?"

When she touched the scars on her wrist, he understood her meaning.

Right then, he couldn't think why. And he couldn't think of a reason why he'd ever want to go back. But he looked at her and saw that she wasn't scared but drifting, needing something to anchor to.

Something that anchored and defined both of them.

"We do it for mothers, fathers, sons, daughters, sisters, brothers, aunts, uncles. Families," he said. "We do it so fewer policemen have to deliver news of a loved one's death. We do it so someone doesn't have to live with questions of what happened to the person they loved. We do it so that the world might be a fraction safer for someone else. We do it so people live with a little less fear."

He watched her. "You did it because you're brave, strong, and compassionate."

Carter said nothing, but he knew she was absorbing everything he said in the way her eyes went distant, no longer seeing the ocean.

For a long while, she didn't react. She sat there, simply breathing in and out.

Then, she looked at Donovan and he saw something in her eyes he hadn't thought he'd see again: a touch of fire.

"Okay, she said, softly. "We can go back."

Donovan felt like his heart might burst from love and pride.

"Okay. But we don't need to go back now. We have time."

She eased back in her chair, accepting, grateful.

"Did you bring a book?" she asked.

He rose and walked into the house, retrieving the book that always lived on his nightstand in their apartment.

When he sat back down in his chair, Carter stood and climbed into his lap. He wrapped his arms around her and opened the book. She shifted and laid her hand on his chest.

Before he started reading out loud, Donovan lifted her wrist and kissed it, right on her fading scars.

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Hey there my cute kumquat!

*sobers* right, sorry. *holds out ice cream and Kleenex*

Ummm...so...*rocks back on heels* feeling like sharing your feelings? Or thinking your thoughts at me? I am telepathic... at least for your thoughts... and only the ones for this chapter. ๐Ÿ’ฌ๐Ÿ—ฏ๐Ÿ’ญ

Have you ever gone through a really difficult time when it felt like you weren't going to get through but then someone was there for you right when you needed them?

I have. I've actually gone through years of tough times but I've had my family and most of all God carrying me through it.

I thought if that idea of being carried through something hard and that's how this chapter came about. That and the story below.

I hope you know I love you and I'm sorry for the tough times you've had to face and I pray for brighter times to come for you! โค๏ธ

Know that you're never alone and as hard as it gets God is there to help carry you through.

Sending you all my love, Noodle! ๐Ÿ˜˜

This is the story I thought of.

Hope this can cheer you up!

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