Aftershock (Part 2)

You really need to have read the chapter before this for this chapter to make a lick of sense.


Also, don't read this is you're at all feeling sad, it will not help.


***********************************


Donovan was formed from fury, pain, and grief as he stared at Carter's battered face. He watched as she slowly breathed in and out, proof that she was still alive. He heard the rattle of wheels behind him but didn't move.


Only when a medic tapped his shoulder, did he finally stir. Balling his fists, he backed away. He watched their every movement as they checked Carter's vitals and transferred her onto the gurney. After strapping her in, they wheeled her out of the warehouse, Donovan trailing behind.


They passed bunches of men passed out and FBI agents kneeling beside them, handcuffing them. Outside the night burned with light from spotlights set up around the warehouse. Brock, Clint, James, and Steve talked with other agents, breaking down the events of the night. Donovan ignored everyone as he followed the medics to the ambulance where they lifted the gurney into the back.


As Donovan was about to climb in after them, someone called his name. He almost ignored the voice, before recognition clicked and he turned around. Director Townsend strode towards Donovan, his face unreadable. When he neared the ambulance, his attention jumped from Carter back to Donovan.


"Agent Keller, you want to explain to me why you disobeyed a direct order?" Townsend said.


Emotions roared inside Donovan, giving him no patience for this man.


"No," he said. "Now either fire me or let me go with my wife."


Again Townsend accessed the damaged to Carter.


"Agent Owens will be on leave until she is deemed fit to return to duty. As for you, you are suspended indefinitely." Donovan didn't care and moved to the ambulance. "I assume your suspension will be lifted about the time your wife recovers."


Donovan halted and glanced back. "Understood, sir."


Donovan hauled himself into the back of the ambulance and the doors were shut on them. The sirens wailed as the vehicle drove off. Donavon sat to the side as the medics did their jobs, attaching an oxygen mask to Carter's face.


In the light of the ambulance, Donovan was able to see every strike that had been landed on her body. Nausea crawled up his throat and he forced it back, clenching his fists. To keep himself from lashing out, he stared at the oxygen mask, watching as the plastic fogged and cleared, fogged and cleared.


The ambulance turned into the drive outside the hospital and the backdoors were yanked open. Two nurses stood waiting. Donovan jumped down and stood aside as the medics lowered the gurney. The moment it hit the ground, they were pushing towards the entrance. The doors split and they were encased in the smell of ammonia and the harsh glare of fluorescence. A doctor in a white lab coat moved to greet the group, stopping before Donovan.


"I'm Dr. Neil, I'll be seeing to your wife. I know that you don't want to but if you can wait out here, I'll let you know when the assessment is done and you can see her."


Donovan swallowed down the anger that seared his chest and nodded. The doctor disappeared behind the doors and Donovan was left with the chaos of his emotions. A white-haired nurse approached and handed him a clipboard with forms for him to fill out.


Donovan took it and stared at the pages as if he had forgotten how to read. After his brain started working again, he dealt with the information needed and returned the clipboard to the nurse who offered him a sympathetic smile which he didn't register.


Around him, the waiting room held a low buzz, other patients whispering to each other, tv's playing on lowered volumes. Donovan was unaware of it all. He stared at the doors, once again locked in the realization that he could do nothing. The feeling took him back to when Carter had been shot and he was powerless.


He flexed and curled his hands over and over, feeling trapped in himself.


Behind him, the doors slid open and Steve walked in. Donovan started as Steve laid a hand on his shoulder. Working to control himself, Donovan faced his father-in-law. Steve studied Donovan.


"Come here," he said, guiding him to a secluded part of the waiting room. "Look, I know that you want to stay calm through this. But I also know that you are hurting, most likely want to murder someone. I know cause I feel the same way. But-"


"I have a handle on this," Donovan said. "I won't do anything rash."


"I'm not saying you will. What I'm trying to say is you need to deal with your anger now. If you don't it will come out later on and probably around Carter." Steve gripped Donovan's shoulder. "She does not need that. She needs you to be the strong one. We don't know how this is going to affect her, so I need you to face everything your feeling now. Because if you can't take care of Carter I will take her away."


The thought of Carter being taken from him - even if it was by her father - flared Donovan's rage but he held it in check. "I understand."


Steve narrowed his eyes and shook his head. "No, you still don't."


Donovan was about to argue but Steve squeezed his shoulder, pushing him towards the exit. Though Donovan felt like ripping himself from the grasp, he had a feeling Steve wouldn't hesitate to break his arm in reaction, so he let himself be led over to Steve's car. When Steve opened the back door, Donovan stared at him unsure what was expected of him. Steve nodded to the seat.


"You're going to punch this headrest until you're no longer angry or you break it."


"No, I'm not."


Steve took a step closer to Donovan, something extremely threatening in the simple action.


"Son, you are one wrong word away from snapping. I can see it. You can't hold everything in and I don't have a punching bag so this is the best option." A spark of resistance burned in Donovan's mind, but Steve said the one thing that doused it. "Carter needs you."


Letting out a shaky breath, Donovan crossed to the open door and stared at the headrest. After a moment of hesitation, he slammed his fist into it. Pain radiated from his knuckles but it was a pain that released a bit of the angry monster that was invading him.


As he landed his next hit, he swore. With each punch, he cursed the men who had hurt Carter. He beat the headrest as if it were the faces of her attackers. Over and over he pummeled the headrest until the leather was spotted with his blood.


Taking a step back, Donovan stared down at his cracked knuckles and the blood that oozed out. Steve handed him a towel from the back of the SUV.


"Feel better?" he asked.


Donovan dried his hand and nodded.


"Good. You got the anger out. Grief will come next. That one is sometimes more hard to face than anger. No one wants to let themselves feel sadness because there is something about it that makes it feel like once you let yourself feel it, it will never go away. But I'm telling you it eventually does go away, but for it to leave, you have to feel it first."


Steve gripped Donovan's shoulder again. "You're going to get through this. I know you have your parents and your brothers, but know you got me as well. I won't let you go through this alone."


Donovan let out a breath, letting the words bolster him.


The pair returned to the hospital. As they stepped inside Dr. Neil pushed through the doors.


"Mr. Keller," he said. "Your wife is stable, besides the laceration on her wrists, she has three fractured ribs as well as major bruising across her shoulders, abdomen, and back. Considering what she went through, she is in better shape than we could have hoped for." Donovan felt like he was going to collapse with relief and pain overhearing the extent of her injuries. "We have given her pain meds and she's asleep, but you can see her now."


Donovan nodded but felt frozen in place, almost scared to see Carter so beaten again.


"I'll be right with you," Steve said.


At the reassurance, Donovan followed the doctor as he led them to a private room. The lights were dimmed and a monitor beeped out, echoing Carter's heartbeat. Donovan wished she looked peaceful but the ugly bruises on her face and the swollen eye stole away the delusion. Mechanically, he crossed over to her and sank into a chair by her head. Ever so gently, he took her hand in his and pressed his lips to it, staring at her.


Steve remained with him for a time, neither of them speaking. A flow of visitors came and went: nurses, Dr. Neil, Maggie, Danny, Donovan's brothers, Link and Maddie. Donovan hardly registered their appearance, locked in some strange reality where nothing else seemed to exist.


After forty-eight hours - in which Donovan had barely moved from his spot - Carter opened her eyes. The action was so startling that Donovan nearly fell over. The fear in his chest lessened and he squeezed her hand.


"Hey," he said, smiling.


Carter blinked but said nothing. As the silence stretched between them and Carter only stared but seemed to not see him worry built behind Donovan's sternum.


"Carter," he said.


Her only response was a slow blink. Donavan swallowed but it did nothing to alleviate the tightness in his throat. He paged a nurse and a moment later one walked in with a cheery, expectant look.


"Can you get Dr. Neil," Donovan said. "She's awake."


"Of course."


The nurse acted as if this was the best news ever, but Donovan didn't share the same feeling, Carter's vacant eyes cutting into him. Dr. Neil appeared and smiled at seeing Carter's eyes open.


"How's our patient?" he asked.


Carter remained unresponsive.


"Did something happen with her throat?" Donovan asked.


Dr. Neil didn't reply, instead inspected Carter's throat. He frowned slightly.


"Mrs. Keller, can you hear me?"


Carter's eyes drifted to Dr. Neil but that was all that she did. Donovan clutched the side of the bed, trying to keep himself from spiraling downward. Dr. Neil smiled at Carter, but it wasn't a full watt one. He motioned for the nurse and a cup of water was brought over. Dr. Neil helped Carter drink.


"How does your throat feel now?" he asked.


Carter said nothing. If Dr. Neil felt worried, he didn't show it. Instead, he checked her vitals and made notes on his clipboard. Finished, he beckoned for Donovan to follow him outside. Once the door was closed, Dr. Neil spoke.


"Everything looks good. What I believe we're hitting is mental trauma. What your wife faced is unimaginable. It is not something that you recover from right away. We will keep her here a couple more nights to assure that we haven't missed anything, but after that, it's best that she return to her home, where she will feel safe and be given time to rest."


Donovan looked back at Carter through the window, her eyes were still open but it was if there was nothing going on behind them.


"Okay," he said.


********


The days passed with a stream of visits. With each familiar face, Donovan hoped that Carter would begin to emerge. But every time someone stopped by there lacked any recognition. Each time Donovan felt his own pain as well as the pain of those who loved her. Watching his father-in-law go through seeing his daughter barely glance at him was the hardest of all.


When Carter was cleared to leave, Donovan was weary and ready to be gone from the hospital. Though Steve and Maggie had offered to help them get home, Donovan had refused thinking the less stimulation the better.


He signed the release papers and returned to the room to find Carter sitting in a wheelchair beside the bed. A nurse had helped dress her in a pair of sweatpants and sweatshirt that Maggie had provided.


Guarding himself against the sight of Carter needing a wheelchair, Donovan thanked the nurse and wheeled Carter to his car. The drive was silent, Carter staring unseeing at the passing landscape. When Donovan opened her door to help her out, she hadn't even unbuckled her seatbelt. For a breath, Donovan felt like someone had kicked him in the stomach.


He unbuckled her and took her hands, guiding her out of the car. Their progression to their apartment was a slow one, Carter's steps uncertain. When they entered and Donovan flipped on the lights, he looked at her, hoping to see a spark of something, but there was nothing there.


"It's been a long day, how about we call it a night," he said.


She said nothing.


"Or are you hungry?"


Again there was no response. Donovan faced Carter, studying her. When her eyelids dipped, he decided sleep was the best option. He led her to the bedroom and grabbed a set of pajamas, knowing she would get too hot in the sweatsuit. Carefully, he eased her shirt up and over her head.


What he saw nearly sent him to his knees. Her body was a patchwork of bruises. Fury tore through him until he was shaking with the force of it. As he lifted his eyes to Carter's face he thought he glimpsed a hint of something in her eyes. That one piece of hope stole away his rage, leaving him with nothing but unending sadness.


Kneeling before her, he rested his hands on her sides and kissed her bruises wishing each one away.


Carter didn't react to his touch and so Donovan finished the task of helping her change and getting her into bed. She laid down but stared out at nothing. Part of her shoulder peeked out of the covers, on it was tattooed a purple and blue bruise. Donovan leaned over and kissed this one as well, wanting to remind Carter that each mark was a show of her strength.


She only blinked.


Flipping off the light, Donovan went back to the living room and sank onto the couch. He pulled out his phone and made a call.


"How you doing, son?" Steve asked.


Donovan buried his face in his hand as tears streamed down his face. He tried to take a breath but it came out as a choked sob. Steve said nothing, simply let him cry.


"I'm afraid I've lost her," he said.


"I know. But you haven't. She needs time to heal. Our Carter is stubborn, determined, and strong, she will make it through this. The only thing you have to do is not give up on her."


Donovan pressed his fingers into his eyes. "I won't. Not ever."


"I know you won't, it's why I gave you my blessing to marry her, I knew you would always fight for her, no matter what that would look like."


Donovan took in a deep breath.


"We're here however you need us," Steve said.


"Thank you. I'll let you know how she's doing in the morning."


They hung up and Donovan went back into his room. With the light off, he didn't know if Carter was asleep. After he changed, he slipped into their bed, facing her. As his eyes adjusted to the darkness, he saw that she was still awake. He reached out to stroke her cheek and she flinched at the touch. Though a spike stabbed his heart, part of him grasped at the reaction for at least it was a reaction.


"Carter," he whispered. "Please tell me you're still in there. Please tell me I haven't lost you."


He waited, needing to hear her voice, needing something to hold onto, to hope in.


She said nothing.


As Donovan was about to pull away, under the blankets he felt one of her fingers touch his. He curled his finger around hers.


"I'm not going anywhere," he said. "We're going to make it through this. I'm never going to leave you."


**********************************************************************


...well, hi...


Thoughts? Emotions? Tears, You want to share? ๐Ÿ’ญ๐Ÿ’ฌ๐Ÿ—ฏ


Okay I know what your thinking, why did you write this, Joy? Do you want me to hate you? Why would you do something like this?


I'm guessing you want a different answer other then I could. Cause that's all I got.


Look! This isn't my fault! Someone said, "hey you should write a scene with Steve and Donovan!" What else was I suppose to write? Jeez you're blaming me but this is not on me. I say you find the reader who suggested it and get mad at them.


So did I take their suggestion and put words to page? Yes, but as I've said before you control me. So this it not on me, it's on you.


Haha for what it's worth I'm sorry if it made you sad.


Okay I'm like 23% sorry cause I'm a writer and we always like it when we can make our readers cry.


Don't worry about voting, commenting, or following, the flood of tears that have washed me away are enough.

Comment