Chapter Forty- One: Crushing My Hand

{Zayn's POV}


"Pep!" I call up the stairs. "Where are you?" I yell out to Perrie. We have the ultrasound today and I'm so damn excited to see our baby again! Dr. Erica said she will also try and find out how far Perrie is exactly, considering we never really found that out.


"Behind you." I hear Perrie's voice. I turn around from facing the stairs and see her standing there holding her phone, glasses, keys and purse. "Ready?" She asks me, a smile spread across her face. I nod and take her hand before heading out the door, locking it behind us and going down the drive to the car waiting for us.


Paul is driving us there and back. I kind of feel bad he's had to taxi me around for the past seven years or so. I'm going to have to get him something once we get out licences. Paul greets us and we return the greeting before heading off to the hospital.


"Thanks Paul!" Perrie chirps when we arrive. He nods in response and we head out of the car and into the old building, that is extremely modern on the inside but displays character on the outer. We make our way to the ultrasound area, hand in hand. Perrie checks in and we take a seat in the crowded waiting room.


All of the other couples in the room are a fair deal older than us and have other children with them. I look at the guy next to me and he looks my way at the same time.


"Hi." He smiles happily.


"Hey." I reply to him. We shake hands and he introduces himself as Tristan and his wife is called Leah. I introduce Perrie and myself and Tristan and Perrie swap spots so Perrie and Leah can talk and I can talk to Tristan.


"First child?" He asks me.


"Yeah." I reply nodding. Sure is our first and I seriously cannot wait! "How about you?" I ask, noticing they have no other children present.


"Second. We have a little boy James at home, he's three." Tristan replies. That's pretty cute! "He's really excited to be a big brother." Tristan informs. I smile because I've exprienced that, twice. I was thrilled to have smaller siblings and although I might've wanted a brother at times, having three sisters that I can protect, doesn't matter Donyia is older, is pretty cool!


"Do you know what you're having?" I ask him, referring to the baby Leah is having. Tristan nods.


"Yep! A little girl." Tristan replies. "You?" He asks.


"We don't know. We'd like a surprise." I reply. Tristan smiles and explains they had a surprise with James but decided to find out this time round. "When is Leah due?" I ask him. I don't have any clue how pregnant she looks?


"October sometime. How about Perrie?" Tristan replies. I shrug and he looks confused that I don't know.


"We haven't exactly been told the date. Surprise baby and things worked out that we've only ever been given rough dates," I explain to this guy I only met a few minutes ago, but seems really geniune.


"Ahh!" Tristan nods. "Do you mind if I ask how old you two are? Only because you said surprise baby and seem a lot younger than the rest of the people in the room," Tristan says. I chuckle a little and tell him not to worry.


"We're both twenty- five." I reply. Tristan nods and smiles.


"Good age! Not too young or too old. We started trying at that age but James didn't come until Leah was twenty- nine," Tristan explains. She's only thirty- two. She looks younger than that!


"What sort of career do you have lad?" Tristan asks me. What career do I have? Oh you know, in the biggest boy band in the world, no biggy or anything.


"I'm a singer. Heard of One Direction?" I ask. Tristan's mouth gapes open and he nods.


"Of course! You're the one with the quiff!" He replies. I laugh and nod. "I thought I'd seen you before. My sister loves you guys!" He smiles. I chuckle and nod. "And Perrie, she's in that girlband right?" He asks.


"Little Mix." I help him out.


"Yeah! That one! Amazing voices!" He gushes over them. I nod and smile. "You'll have one talented kid." He says. I chuckle and think about that. I wonder if they'll be able to sing? It'll be really cool if they can!


"What sort of career do you have?" I ask him. I'm guessing some some sort of business job.


"Architect." Tristan replies. "And Leah is a interior designer." That's a good paring! I bet they have an awesome house!


"That's so cool! Do you have like a business together?" I ask. Tristan nods and goes to explain but we get interrupted.


"Leah Richards?" The lady asks. Leah and Tristan get up, farewell us and then move off with the lady.


"They were really nice people," Perrie smiles. They were actually. Not just random assholes that you find anywhere. Really nice people who made time to talk to you and have a conversation.


"Perrie Edwards- Malik?" Another lady is standing there. Perrie and I both stand up and follow the lady down the hallway. I clutch Perrie's hand tightly in mine as we walk down the white walled hallway. "Just in here guys!" She smiles and lets us go through the door. The lady is only about thirty maybe and has a really warming smile.


The lady, whom is called Amy, get's Perrie to lay down on the bed and lift her top over her bump. I sit down on Perrie's right hand side and hold her hand tightly.


"Okay! So today is the big scan and we will also find out your due date, how far pregnant you are and all that sort of stuff." Amy explains putting gel onto the knob. "Sorry if this is cold." Amy apologises and places the knob onto Perrie's lower stomach.


I watch Amy tap away at some buttons and then a picture comes up on the screen. My heart starts beating rapidly and a huge smile speads across both Perrie's face and my face when our baby comes into view.


"And there's your baby!" Amy smiles and points out the baby that is no longer a dot but now a baby sort of shaped baby. Did that even make sense? Don't care! Our baby is right there!


"Is it okay?" Perrie asks, holding my hand with her right on and her left hand on her collar. I notice she's wearing the bracelet I got her for her birthday. I'm pretty sure she wears it everyday actually.


"By the looks of things yes. But I'll grab Dr. Erica for you." Amy replies and then heads of to get her. I look up at Perrie who is watching the screen that Amy froze on our baby. This is one of the most wonderful feelings in the world. Seeing something like this that you made, that you love and will soon be able to hold and protect.


Dr. Erica comes in and we exchange greetings before she sits down with us. Dr. Erica starts playing around with the buttons and starts writing things down.


"Now, still don't want to know the gender?" Dr. Erica asks us. We both shake our heads, knowing we both want to have a surprise. "Okay and here is the heartbeat." Dr. Erica hits a button and the heartbeat comes up.


I listen to the doof bloop sort of sound coming from the machine. That's our baby. The tiny human we made and will love. No, we ALREADY love.


Dr. Erica does a whole heap of tests and scans and they all come back good. No issues at all, which is great!


"Now, want to find out how pregnant you actually are?" Dr. Erica asks Perrie. She nods and we all laugh a little. Dr. Erica does some calculations and turns to us. "You're twenty- four weeks pregnant." She says. Say what now?


"Six months?" Perrie does a quick calculation. "I th- thought I was only five." She stammers a little. So did I Pezz, so did I.


"Nope. You're six months and you're due date is about the twenty- third of November." Dr. Erica gives us a due date. I plant that deep into my brain. Nothing is going to be planned around that date. I'll text management later.


"Which is unusual for your size." Dr. Erica says. What? Is there something wrong with our baby's size? With Perrie? "Don't look so worried!" Dr. Erica laughs a little. "Everything is going great! You've just got a small figure so that probably has something to do with it so there's no need to worry." Dr. Erica reassures us. I nod taking everything in. I don't want to miss any of this.


Dr. Erica prints out three copies of the ultrasound. One for us and one for each of our families that we can mail to them. Mum is always calling and nagging about Perrie and the baby, but I guess that's because it's her first grandchild and her first and only daughter in law.


{Perrie's POV}


"Right!" Dr. Erica wipes the gel off my stomach and I pull down my top. "After the whole bleeding incident everything seems to be fine." Dr. Erica mentions it. Shit! I shift my attention to Zayn and he gives me a cold glare before turning back to Dr. Erica. "So! Head out when you're ready." She says but I keep looking at Zayn, who is listening to Dr. Erica.


She heads out of the room and Zayn jumps up. I get up with him and he grabs my right arm with force as we leave the room. After paying Paul drives us home and I jump out just in time before Zayn slams the black car door shut. Paul drives off and Zayn drags me inside.


I start taking lots of little steps to try and not trip over as he drags me into the living area. His grip is so hard on my small hand that it starts to really hurt.


He squeezes really hard my bone cracks. "Ouch Zayn!" I yell and rip my hand away. "What the f**k is wrong with you?" I ask him annoyed. He turns to face me, his brown eyes giving me a piercing look.


"What's wrong with me?" He asks through gritted teeth. "What is wrong with you?" Zayn asks. "Sorry, what WAS wrong with you? What the f**k is this about bleeding?" Zayn looks furious.


"The morning before Indie, Eleanor, Ella and Asha came to America, at about two in the morning I woke up bleeding with bad pains in my abdomen, Jade rushed me to hospital, the baby was in the wrong position and it made my cervix bleed. That's all! Everything is fine, you heard Sr. Erica!" I explain.


"We're you going to tell me?" He growls. No but now he kind of knows. Time to avoid the question, well sort of.


"You were away and enjoying yourself. I didn't want to spoil that and I know you will say that only want the best and you would've wanted to know, but I know you Zayn! You would've been on the first flight back. That isn't what I wanted!" I reply.


He just gives me a un pleased look and then slowly takes steps towards me. I stay where I am, unable to move, wanting him to get closer, to know he doesn't want to ignore me. I feel him breathing on me as his bold figure stands over my tiny one. Suddenly his hands push against my shoulders and I hit the wall with a thud.


Zayn's hands snake up to my head and his left hand rest against my cheek whilst his right hand is tangled in my blonde hair. His soft lips smash against my lip gloss covered ones and he starts to roughly kiss me. I kiss back and move my hands up under his shirt. As we kiss I run my fingers gentle down his abs.


Zayn's hands move, we gasp for air and then we're kissing again. I feel his hands on my bump and then they're pulling off my top. I feel him throw them away and I do the same to him. Rip off his black tee and throw it across the room.


Sturdily he picks me and I wrap my legs around his waist. I feel him kissing at my neck whilst he holds me under my bum. My nails dig into his bare back and he grunts a little. I ignore him though and he decides to move upstairs, carefully carrying me before throwing me, yes literally throwing me, onto our bed.


His body crawls over mine and our eyes meet. Just like our first kiss. We were lying on the grass in a secluded part of a park, just chatting, until he asked if our 'relationship' would ever work. We agreed it would and when I opened my eyes he was leaning over me. I pulled my head up, he leaned down and the fireworks begun. I still love the fact that every time we kiss, there's fireworks.


I get brought back to my senses when I feel Zayn placing a pillow between him and my baby bump. That's actually pretty adorable. Even though he's still furious with me, I can tell by his lack of words and his facial expressions, not to mention roughness, he wants to protect our baby. Not sure what a pillow will do, but it's still cute.


He starts kissing my neck again, hitting my soft spot, small moans escaping my mouth. I feel him pull off and our eyes meet. Although his are still physically brown and mine are blue, they're really red. Trying to burn holes through to the back of each other's heads.


"We are so f**ked up you know? Zayn asks me.


"Shut up." I reply instantaneously. He gives me a surprised look due to my reply and in return smacks his lips into mine. He's shutting me up alright!


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"F**k." I all I manage to get out through pants. "Holy wow." I mumble. I look across at Zayn, who's bare chest is rising and falling rapidly, much alike mine. He pulls the covers up to our waists and rolls over onto his side, propping himself up onto his left arm. His right arm moves to my stomach where he starts rubbing circles.


"Did we just have angry sex?" He asks me. I nod and he chuckles. Well actually, we had more than one run then, but the first three runs we were furious with each other and the fourth was quite slow and loving then for the fifth, all out.


"I'm sorry I didn't tell you." I apologise to Zayn. Technically I should've told him but I just wanted to know everything was fine and he was having a good time so...


"And I'm sorry I got so angry. I understand why you didn't but next time, tell me sooner, like when we first get home from the airport." Zayn replies. Well actually Zayn, when we first got home you went straight to bed with me close behind.


"But baby is fine, which is great!" I beam. If there was something wrong, I doubt it would've ended like this today. I would've been in deep shits then.


"Yeah! It's all good!" Zayn nods and kisses my swollen stomach. It's kind of worrying I look only about five months pregnant but Dr. Erica said it's all good! I watch as Zayn presses another kiss onto my stomach that has our beautiful first child in it.


to rub circles again and then I notice something on his upper right arm. "What's this?" I ask pointing at some writing next to the tattoo of me. "Together forever, never apart. Maybe in distance but never in heart." I read off his arm. The quote Niall said and the one in my bracelet.


"I got it because you seem to always wear that bracelet and this way, we both are always there, together, no matter what happens." Zayn explains. "I got it in America." He clarifies.


"It's beautiful." I smile and kiss him softly, unlike what we've been doing for the past two hours. We just lay there in silence. But not a yellow coloured awkward silence, a golden coloured silence. Peaceful, warming and feeling safe. The only thing to be heard is what's going on outside and our breathing.


"Excuse us." I hear from the door. Zayn and my heads suddenly jolt to the door where Jade, Jesy, Leigh, Niall, Asha and Louis are standing. I screech and pull the blanket up over my body. Sure I left my bra on because my boobs are sore but this is still weird. Zayn sits up making sure he doesn't reveal his lower half.


"What the heck are you all doing?" I ask completely and utterly confused why they're all in our bedroom doorframe.


"What are you do- actually nope. Not going to ask that." Louis says. We all laugh a little and he shakes his head.


"We came to visit but um, you guys seem a little busy." Leigh looks disgusted. Oh come on Leigh! I mean, yes this is disgusting that you've walked in on us like this but seriously, she did it with her boyfriends and how the heck did she think we got pregnant. I'm not the Virgin Mary.


"Nio, why are Zayn and Perrie naked?" Asha asks Niall sweetly. Suddenly all eyes are on Niall. What's he going to reply with?


"Um, I'll tell you when you're older." Niall replies and then rushes away with everyone else. Once we hear the front door shut we burst into laughter.


"Like I said, we're so f**ked up." Zayn chuckles. I shake my head and he gives me a confused look.


"No. We're well past being that." I reply, earning a laugh from my husband. "But I need to pee." I jump out bed, grabbing my clothes on the way.

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