Hey! Small disclaimer/trigger warning, there are several mentions of death and suicide. If you don't want to read it, skip this chapter. Thanks!

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Emiri's pov -

She's dead.

She's gone.

My bestfriend.

May.

Dead.

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"Angel..."

I ignored him. I ignored everything. Everyone.

How could I be so stupid? Why didn't I call her? Invite her? I saw her two days ago. I could've saved her.

I could've saved her...

"Angel please, you need to eat." Keigo had stayed with me ever since I got the news. Honestly, I probably would've killed myself if it weren't for him.

May was everything to me.

My bestfriend.

My ride or die.

Family.

She's been by my side through so much. She's the one who pulled me out of the darkness after I left my ex.

Sure, he had made me slightly forget about my mother's death for a while, but he never pulled me out like May did.

She was so energetic, so sweet. She always cared about everyone, no matter who it was. Everyone she knew, loved her.

She deserved so much.

I was lost in thought when I felt someone pick me up and carry me out to the living room. "You can't stay in bed forever, I won't allow it." Keigo stated, carrying me to the middle of the living room.

For the first time in 36 hours, I glanced at him. Just enough to see his expression.

Pity.

I hated it, I hated seeing someone I care about pity me. I don't need it. I don't want it.

What good does pity do.

I looked back down at the floor and walked over to the couch to lay down. He parted his lips to say something but the sound of the door opening stopped him.

"Where is she?" Aizawa bursted in. Keigo motioned towards the couch and stepped back to give the two of us space.

Aizawa knelt down in front of me and forced my eyes to look at his. "I'm so sorry kid." He let out a shaky sigh and pulled me up into a hug.

At this point I didn't care who hugged me anymore. I didn't care who was in the room. I just wanted my bestfriend back.

"Please..." I mumbled, tears pricking the corner of my eyes yet again. "No. No, you promised her you'd never do that again," he said, still hugging me.

I heard footsteps walking away, probably Keigo. I didn't want him to leave, "Where are you going..." I asked, breaking the hug and turning to see where he was.

"To get Sirius," he gave me a soft smile before walking into my bedroom and coming out with the white fluff ball.

Keigo placed him on my lap which he happily curled into. We all stayed in silence as I pet the feline.

Feline...

Cat...

May...

May's cat.

"May's cat, Juniper...?" I glanced at the both of them. They both looked at each other before signaling they didn't know anything about a cat.

"I'll call the police station again and see if they know anything about her." Keigo said, walking to grab his phone.

A few moments passed, Keigo went back and forth between the person on the other end before hanging up and turning to the both of us.

"The neighbors said they found the cat and took it to a shelter nearby, I can go pick her up," Keigo said shifting towards the balcony.

He was halfway to the balcony door when I stopped him. "I wanna go." Him and Aizawa shared a quick look before protesting.

"That might not be the best thing right now Emiri," Aizawa stood up and walked over to me. "It was a big fire, it's all over the news with her face," Keigo frowned.

"I don't care, I wanna go see the cat." I paused, "Please, if she's alive then she's all that's left of May..."

They both shared another glance before walking to the balcony, "Well, if there's no stopping you, might as well accompany you," Keigo flashed a small smile.

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"Here she is, she's ready to go. I'm so sorry, I heard about her previous owner," the receptionist frowned while lifting the cat carrier above the counter.

I just stared at the ground the entire time. There's no way I can face anyone other than Aizawa and Keigo, I'd just break down.

The two thanked the receptionist as I walked outside, quickly hurrying after me to make sure I didn't see anything about the fire on the news.

But it was too late.

The screen behind the shop window was on a news channel, 'Apartment fire kills one and injures 3. Officials say this was not an accidental fire and are still trying to apprehend the suspect who caused this horrible incident'.

I froze.

Emotions that I tried suppressing were slowly rising again. It wasn't an accident...?

"Hey... You don't need to see that," Keigo blocked my view of the screen and put a hand on my shoulder.

But it didn't help.

The only thing I heard last night was that May died, everything else the nurse said went in one ear and out the other, so I didn't hear the part where they said it wasn't an accident.

My blood began to boil and I began to shake, but not from sadness or fear. From anger and pain.

Without realizing, tears started streaming down my cheeks as I kept a stolid face. (search that word up, i've been upping my vocabulary 😎)

"Hey, hey, hey," Keigo shushed as he shielded me with his wings and pulled me into a tight hug while Aizawa took the carrier.

Both of their hearts were hurting because of me, I just know it. And I hate it. They're worried about me.

Maybe it'd just be better if I was gone...

Yeah.

That way they don't have to worry about me anymore. Their minds can be put at ease.

But first I'm gonna find this fucker that killed May.

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"Alright, looks like they don't mind each other," Aizawa placed the rest of the cat food in their bowls.

"I want in on the investigation." I said sternly. Aizawa and Keigo looked at me with a worried look on their face. They had hoped I didn't see the news enough to read that part.

"Stop." They gave each other a confused and an even more worried look. "Stop what?" Keigo asked.

"That look, the both of you, just stop. Stop looking at me like I'm injured." I almost shouted. Almost. But they both averted their gaze and lowered their heads, so I felt bad going on.

There was a small silence before Keigo broke it, "We can't help it Angel, we're worried about you, and this investigation might hurt you even more. Trust me, the police will find the person that did this, but we've all been deemed too close to take part in the investigation and rightfully so. We're all angry and hurting, we won't get anywhere feeling like this." Keigo leaned his hip against the couch.

I faced the TV, slumped down, and crossed my arms. This isn't fair. They're still out there, and the longer I stand by and do nothing, the longer May goes unavenged.

Just thinking about May, wondering if she screamed, wondering if it hurt, if she suffered. It's all too much. I couldn't take this pain anymore.

I know I said I'd wait, but this is way harder than I thought it was gonna be.

Maybe if I just... shut them off?

No.

I can't.

I promised May I would never shut them off again. Not after what happened with my mother and ex.

But it hurts.

I don't want to feel this way.

I'm tired of hurting.

So tired...

I didn't notice I had started crying again. "Hey, shhh, it's okay." Keigo jumped over the couch and embraced me.

Something about his hugs, his scent, his arms, the slow beating of his heart. Just the way he holds me. If I could, I'd hug him forever.

When I got the news and Keigo and Aizawa hugged me, I didn't hug back. Every time I cried, it was always with an emotionless face. This was too much to not hug back.

I sat and thought as everything hit me at once. The pain, the anger, the sadness, the loneliness. The realization.

I finally broke.

I sobbed. And I mean, I sobbed.

Audible whimpers, ugly crying, all of that.

Although he didn't want to, Aizawa had to leave. He had to take care of Eri after all, and I understood. I was still crying softly and in Keigo's arms when I waived goodbye to him.

"C'mon, it's late, you should get some rest," Keigo tried breaking the hug, but I didn't want to let go, not yet. Instead, I straddled his hips on the couch and embraced him more, still crying and sniffling.

I buried my nose into the crook of his neck, took a deep breath in and exhaled, trying to slow my sporadic breathing.

He sighed deeply before wrapping his arms around my waist tighter and mumbled.

"You're gonna be the death of me, kid..."

He wanted to add something along the lines of 'you mean the world to me' or maybe even confess his feelings. But he knew this wouldn't be the most ideal time for it.

For now he just stayed quiet and let me hug him for as long as I needed. He was happy with this, but it didn't exactly satisfy him.

He wanted to know I was his, and only his. That I wouldn't hold anyone else like this. That I feel the same way. That I love him.

He knew he was being selfish while thinking these things, but he didn't care. All he was concerned about right now was if I'd be able to handle the truth.

Because deep down, he knew right away who had killed May. He knew when the police described the incident.

'Blue fire everywhere...'

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(A/N: hey! nothing important to say, just that i might be posting a one shot later tonight or tomorrow! thanks for reading!)