A/N: Hey guys! Oh yeah, I'm doing this shit now! That is correct, not only a fifth official story that I intend to keep going, but this Creepypasta genderbend shit! Yes I'm that desperate for a few extra reads, and no I'm not ashamed of how I'm totally going to hell for this.

Yami: Jeez, you sure are cheery today.

A/N: Thanks. Anyways, if you didn't read my no tl;dr description, the gist of it is that you had a shit life and you decide to be a singer/comedian. When you can't take it, you go to the apparently haunted woods to die... Have fun getting totally not raped by the plot driven female creepypastas when you accidentally find their some how secret big-ass mansion.

Yami: Wait, raped!?

A/N: You haven't read any other stories like this? It always happens. Well, always almost happens. Always some new kind of cockblock. Well, at least in the ones you can actually fuckin' read. Call out to all the shit grammar guys making this kind of thing.

Yami: You need to ease up on the Bo Burnham, A/N.

A/N: Sorry not sorry. Enjoy!

3rd Person POV

It was almost midnight in a small town on the outskirts of a large forest. At a piano on stage in a large building is a 17 year old boy named Y/N L/N. This boy has been through some rough problems, but that doesn't stop him from performing to almost the entire town. He sat down behind the piano and adjusted the mic before speaking to everyone.

Y/N: Alright, for my last song of tonight, I'm going to sing a song I wrote that's near and dear to my heart because it's a reflection of how I feel. Anyways, I hope you like it and if you get offended... well, sucks to suck!

The crowd laughs at his last remark before he begins. (Start song)

Have you ever felt sad or lonely?
Have you ever felt two feet tall?
Have you ever though "Man if only, I was anybody else at all"?
They like to kick you when times get rough
And you give your all, but it's not enough
And sticks and stones might break your bones but words can break your heart
But if you don't know where to go I'll show you where to start

Kill yourself
It'll only take a minute, and you'll be happy that you did it
Just go over to your oven and shove your head in it
Kill yourself
Really, you should do it
There's really nothing to it
Just grab a mug and chug a cup of lighter fluid

Okay, now... I feel like you've pulled back. Maybe it's on account of the fact that I'm telling you to kill yourself over and over again. I'm just trying to make a simple point. That these- that lifes toughest problems don't have simple answers. You shouldn't just be brave, you shouldn't just roar, you shouldn't... kill yourself. But I understand that, it's a sensitive subject and you're probably just hearing me say that and I've dealt with s- I don't wanna be insen- look.

I sound unemphatic, I sound mean and rude
Suicide is an epidemic and I don't wanna be misconstrued
Signs of depression go overlooked
So if your depressed
Then you need to book a therapy session
Talk about your depression and let a professional hear it
But if you search for moral wisdom
In Katy Perry's lyrics, then 

Kill yourself
It won't be painful
If you are able
To give a little kiss to an oncoming train, you'll
Kill yourself
It's over, mull it
There's a trigger, pull it
Get it through your head, "it" being a bullet

Stick your tongue in a plug
Suck a pipe of exaust
Make some toast in the tub
Nail yourself to a cross
Hold your breath till it's gone
Drink a gallon of mace
Be gay in Iran
Let Oprah sit on your face
Jump off of a bridge
Skinny dip in a flood
Sky dive attached to a fridge
Drink a Haitian guy's blood
Break into the zoo

Give the tiger a shove
Eat a Phillips head screw
Marry Courtney Love

(End of song)

The crowd cheered loudly for the young boy, the loud mix of whistling, clapping, yelling and laughing resonated in the large room. TY/N apologized for any offence with a simple 'sorry' to the crowd. He took a drink from his Diet Coke and went to the mic at the front of the stage.

Y/N: Okay everyone. I know I've never really done anything serious at these shows, but I have to be honest. I'm out of my stage persona right now. I want to say a few mixed things. To the people who come out here all the time and support me, thank you. You've made this hell of a life I have worth at least something. And to all those people at my school, who are disgusted by my existence. Take my advice. I recommend a mix of two or three of the ways listed in my last song.

The crowd laughs a bit at this, not knowing he genuinely wanted some of those people to nail themselves to crosses or jump off a bridge.

Y/N: So, overall... thank you to the people who tried to not make me feel like shit. But fuck all those shitheads at my school!

With that, Y/N ripped off the bandage on his eye, revealing the gaping hole in his face before leaving. If you're wondering why he has a missing eye, the easiest thing to say is that someone cut it out when he was 8 after killing his adopted parents. He grabbed what he needed from backstage. His black trench coat that he... borrowed, and his self made butterfly knife.

Before he could leave though, two girls stopped in front of him.

Y/N: Can I help you?

Girl 1: Hi, you're Y/N, right?

Y/N: Yeah...

Girl 2: We heard your song...

Girl 1: And we wanted to know why you said it reflected your feelings.

Y/N: Is that all?

Girl 2: Also, we wanted to know why you hate people at your school so much.

Y/N: To answer your question...

Girl 2: I'm Sara.

Girl 1: And I'm Amy.

Y/N: Well, to answer your question Sara, they seem to think I'm a monster. So I say fuck 'em.

Amy: And why do they think your a monster?

Y/N: Because I killed someone. Some drunk who broke into my home, slaughtered my family, and took my eye. I killed him and now I'm labeled as a killer.

The girls looked wide eyed at Y/N as he answered their questions. He started to walk away before Amy called out to him as he opened the door.

Amy: Wait! What about my other question?

Y/N: That? I'm going to the woods. To die. 

Before either girl could react or tell him to not go there, he had already left. By the time they opened the door, he was already out of sight. Unknown to any of them, a certain figure had been listening to not only the conversation, but Y/N's performance earlier.

A/N: Hey! Thanks for reading! So that was the beginning of this story that will no doubt overwhelm me. I know for other people, 5 stories isn't much, or maybe it's a reasonable number, but with me and my procrastinating self I'm bound to make it a big old pain in the ass. But I'm doing it anyways!

Yami: That's some dedication!

A/N: Actually, it's to fill the void of Fem!Creepypasta x Male!Reader stories on here. Well... one with good grammar that you can actually read.

Yami: You're not getting over that anytime soon are you?

A/N: Hahaha, no.

Yami: *sigh*

A/N: Signing off!

-Iain